Waiting For ClickBank Approval - Please Review Sales Page

15 replies
Hi,

Please take a look at my sales page and offer any advice or suggestive criticism to make it better.

Thanks

Rick

Scrapbooking A Profitable Business
#approval #clickbank #page #review #sales #waiting
  • Profile picture of the author undergroundguru
    Your page looks very nice disciple..

    You may want to add an 'Earnings Disclaimer' to the bottom of your page.

    I can't recall if clickbank requires it, but it seems like they do.

    If you need one, just look at any site in the clickbank marketplace and copy it from their site and past it to yours.
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    This book is about making money scrapbooking, right? None of the testimonials mention making money. I only scanned the copy but didn't see any mention of making money either. I'd like to know how much you've made and how long it takes to make some dough if I follow your instructions, what other people have done, etc.

    Your headline is weak. If this is about earning money with scrapbooking get it out there right away in the headline. Your bullet points are vague and not at all compelling. For example, "Why you must LOVE scrapbooking if you are going to make it in this your business." Ah, this is so nebulous it strikes me as complete filler.

    Also, "How to know if you are you actually making any money." Do people really need to pay $27 to know when they're making money? Not exactly compelling bullet point material.

    There's more. I do think that some of your copy is interesting but you're going to need to sharpen it all up a lot and get specific with real benefits. I realize this critique might seem harsh but this copy is mediocre at best. Good luck.
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    • Profile picture of the author disciple
      Hey Travlinguy,

      I don't mind the criticism. This is the first sales page I have ever written and I want it to be as good as possible.

      Clickbank has approved my product now and hopefully it will be available in the marketplace tomorrow.

      The one thing I did not want to do was to spend 2 weeks trying to get the sales page perfect. It's too easy to spend time trying to make it perfect. I wanted to make it available and then make changes as necessary.

      Thanks for your help.

      Rick
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  • Profile picture of the author Woody C
    You are asking the reader a lot of questions. People hate to think and make decisions. Tell them what your product can do for them. Be exact. Make up their minds for them.

    Show them exactly what your product can do for them. Make money? Teach them how to scrapbook? Let them leave their job because they are making so much money from scrapbooking? Know your readers pain points and hit them. BAM!
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  • Profile picture of the author Nathan Hangen
    I asked my wife, who is a hobby scrapbooker, and the first thing she said was "I should do that."

    I thought it was good too. Looks clean, nice site design (who designed it by the way, I need one). It is convincing and hits your demographic well.
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    • Profile picture of the author disciple
      Hi Nathan,

      Thanks for the reply. It was good to hear your wife thought about it. That's certainly the response I want.

      I did the design and the copywriting. My wife and I own a digital scrapbooking site that is almost 5 years old now, so I am very familiar with that demographic. You can check it out if you like. The site is in my signature.

      Thanks again.

      Rick
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      • Profile picture of the author Nathan Hangen
        You did the minisite design? Do you take orders?
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        • Profile picture of the author mr.steve
          Hi Rick

          It's a good-looking sales page, and
          the copy isn't bad.

          But there are a few essential things
          you need to change in my view.
          The opener needs to be much more engaging.

          The sentence "Can You Really Make Any
          Money Scrapbooking?" is probably a bad thing
          to open with. It actually forces the prospect
          to think whether they can make money scrapbooking,
          and so puts up sales resistance.

          The same happens with "How many people have
          looked at your scrapbooks and said "OMG! that
          is so beautiful, how did you do that?"

          Many people might answer "None", or "Not many",
          and again you get sales resistance.

          In this way the letter opening is putting up barriers
          to the sale, and that's the last thing you want.

          "Do You Really Need This Book To Get Started?"
          is another question putting doubt in the prospects mind.

          With all this doubt right at the start of the letter,
          it makes it really difficult for the prospect to feel engaged.

          Overall the start of the letter doesn't approach people
          in the right way. You need to talk about their love of
          scrapbooking first, show them that you have insider knowledge.
          Then talk about the fact that you can make money doing it.
          Then introduce your product...

          It has to be done subtly, and it's more difficult than
          it sounds, but as the letter stands you might find people will
          just turn off.

          But give it a try. You never know until you test it. Look
          at your conversion rate, and then try a different approach
          as a test, maybe something similar to the outline I gave.

          Hope this helps, and let us know how you get on. It sounds
          like a good product, and your digital scrapbooking site is cool...

          Cheers

          Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author pavondunbar
    I personally like it.

    Nice colors, flow, graphics, etc...

    If I were into scrapbooking I would definitely consider what you have to offer.

    Best of luck to you!

    Pavon
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    • Profile picture of the author disciple
      Nathan:
      I have been in the graphics business a long time and don't want to do it anymore so I don't do any one else's graphics or mini sites, sorry

      Steve:
      Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate what you had to say and will definitely take it into account. I will be testing of course and that's part of the reason I wanted opinions and constructive criticism.

      Maverickwec:
      Good points, thanks for reminding me.

      Thanks to everyone else who has taken the time to look and help me out.

      Rick
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      • Profile picture of the author ChristineC
        I believe that the majority of scrapbookers are female- though this would be subject to confirmation. On that basis does it make sense to have a photo of a male at the top? Perhaps it cuts down on the self-identification factor? Not sure, but might be worth testing ...

        Christine
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        • Profile picture of the author disciple
          Hi Christine,

          You are correct. The majority of scrapbookers are female. However, we (my wife and I) have one of the largest digital scrapbooking sites online and are fairly well known in that niche. Since I use my real name and not a pen name, I used my photo as well.

          You are correct about the testing though and it's possible that my wife's photo would be a better option. Time will tell.

          Thanks

          Rick
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        • Profile picture of the author tmursch
          Originally Posted by ChristineC View Post

          I believe that the majority of scrapbookers are female- though this would be subject to confirmation. On that basis does it make sense to have a photo of a male at the top? Perhaps it cuts down on the self-identification factor? Not sure, but might be worth testing ...

          Christine

          I agree. Perhaps you could use one of the women from your testimonials for the opener. Otherwise, I think your sales page is fantastic.
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  • Profile picture of the author James Foster
    Are all the testimonials real? Two of the three pictures look like models' head shots. Maybe it's just because I'm in IM too but it throws me off like they probably aren't real people.
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  • Profile picture of the author Uncle Dimitry
    I would change testimonials order and move two cute girls up and make Kathryn Estry's pic much smaller.
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