After buying some WSO ...

7 replies
Did all the study help me write an okay sales copy?

how to draw human figures | MasterPaintingNow

I bought a few WSOs, researched online, found a cool free book Write Sales Letters that Sell or something like that. Anyway, the link is the results.

I know it can be improved, but not sure if I can improve it yet. Maybe after more study. The home page of the site is also written after much study. The other pages are still old pages. Not rewritten after I gained more knowledge.

Any advice is appreciated.
#buying #wso
  • Profile picture of the author HostWind
    I admit I only skimmed, but it looks good to me. As opposed to coming off as a full-blown in your face sales letter, it appeared to have genuine content.
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  • Profile picture of the author masterpaintingnow
    Thank you. Glad I got it sort of right.
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  • Profile picture of the author masterpaintingnow
    So far, the sales copy has a 3% conversion rate, but only tested 200 visits so far.
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    • Originally Posted by masterpaintingnow View Post

      So far, the sales copy has a 3% conversion rate, but only tested 200 visits so far.
      Short copy backed by a video. Nice.

      Just polish up some of the writing so you're not hurting credibility:

      You see other artist’s work and think
      Apostrophe goes after the 's':

      ==> You see other artists' work and think

      After you learn my secrets, go through the 10 hours of video, step-by-step drawing and teaching, do the exercises, you will draw the human figure like never before!
      Rewrite for clarity:

      ==> After you go through 10 hours of video containing my step-by-step drawing lessons and my best-kept secrets, you'll draw the human figure like never before!

      Would you believe that before and after was only 30 days after I figured the secrets of figure drawing out? Yes. It’s true. I want to repeat that because it’s so awesome.
      You can learn how to draw the human figure in two weeks!
      What? Crazy, right? My students are evidence. I am evidence. I’ve seen it work for me and others. Some do it in two weeks because they put more time into than I did.
      30 days isn't two weeks. Fix that.

      Because not every artists is a great teacher.
      Singular:

      ==> Because not every artist is a great teacher.

      They don’t know how to break the step-by-step learning process
      ==> They don't know how to break down the step-by-step learning process

      It only cost like $100 to produce a new
      Fix subject-verb agreement:

      ==> It costs only $100 to produce a new

      In the fast pace of concept art and most any job that requires you to draw, you must draw quickly.
      Rewrite:

      ==>In the fast-paced world of professional concept art, you must learn to draw quickly.

      You will be able to draw people from your mind in any position, action or otherwise.
      Rewrite:

      ==> You'll draw people performing any action in any position.

      It covers from toddler to adult, from real life, comic, to manga.
      Rewrite:

      ==> They cover everything from toddler to adult, from real life to comic to manga.

      Lesson 3 – Part 1, 31 minutes – Part 2, 23 minutes Mastering the basic manikin from different view points, both male and female. Some foreshortening.
      Lesson 4 – 32 minutes Mastering form, shading, the three point lighting system.
      Lesson 5 – Part 1, 27 minutes – Part 2, 37 minutes Mastering drawing poses with manikins, both male and female. Covers foreshortening and form, dynamics, weight distribution, balance, etc.
      Lesson 6 – Part 1, 34 minutes – Part 2, 37 minutes – Part 3, 29 minutes Mastering placing muscles and anatomy onto male manikins, making them realistic figures.
      Lesson 7 – Part 1, 22 minutes – Part 2, 17 minutes – Part 3, 21 minutes Mastering placing muscles and anatomy onto female manikins, making them realistic figures.
      You've written "manikin" here, whereas earlier you've written "mannequin." According to Manikin - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia there's a difference between a manikin and a mannequin. It would appear that you want "mannequin."

      You aren’t even risking $19.95 because I will refund all your money, no hidden charges if you aren’t happy with how much this course changes how great your figure drawings are.
      Rewrite:

      ==> You aren't risking even $19.95, for I'll refund all your money, no hidden charges, if you aren't happy with how much this course transforms your figure drawing.

      Draw better figures and click here to buy now.
      ==> Draw better figures - click here to buy now.

      MAC users: Watch WMVs with this free software by Microsoft

      http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/w...er/wmcomponent
      That link 404s. "Page cannot be found."
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  • Profile picture of the author masterpaintingnow
    whoelse, thanks, man. It's hard to catch those kinds of mistakes in your own writing, at least for me it is.
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    • Profile picture of the author Keyword Candy
      I think you did an excellent job on the flow of the website. Easy to read and find your top benefits.
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  • Profile picture of the author Abo Yossi
    I think that you have done a great job on your sales letter.
    wish you all the best....
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