Tell Me your thoughts on My landing Page Pls

Dude your page tried to install something into my internet explorer.

Not cool.

I think you'll suffer to make any sales at all if every user gets an install warning...

It could be the video that loads on the page, but its just Shockwave. I'll check into it.

Thanks for the info.

I agree with Ken S.

It stopped me from critiquing your page,
and harmless or not, it's putting your
visitors off...regardless of what you want
the page to achieve.

True. I'll figure out whats goin on with it and try to possibly put the video in another format.

I thought it was very good as I opted in. The software looks very good too I am wondering why it did not create a shortcut on my desktop ? how do we find once its closed ? just wondering. Overall good copy

Woah even reading this post i get new info on how to write a good squeeze page.

Anyway i signed up cos the product was what i needed very much. To me, the landing page was very simple and good and brought across the benefits well!

My thoughts as I read through it:

You have mismatched capitalization in your headers. Either capitalize every word, or don't. Doing only some of them makes it look like a typo.

"Have you ever wanted to create a turn-key profit building website?"

The phrase "turn-key" is overused, I think. Plus, it's not very clear. I think you can communicate your offer better in this opening statement. How about...

"Have you ever wanted to speed up the process of building profitable minisites and writing sales copy?"

You've spelt "definitely" wrong in the third paragraph. And have capitalized "Hundreds". See my first point (in fact, you have unusual capitalization throughout the whole page).

Also in the third: "I started to write my own sales copy. I did, and failed miserably". Take out the "I did, " - it reads much more smoothly. As a general tip, print out and read your sales letter out loud, away from the computer, as if you were speaking to a prospect.

As you're reading it, note down any portions which sound funny, or are awkward to say.

Fourth paragraph, "pro's" shouldn't have an apostrophe.

What is WYSIWYG? (I know what it means, but many people may not).

Testimonial is a bit flimsy. You can make it more real by including the first letter of Tony's surname, and the place where he lives, or his website, or his email address (with the domain blanked out).

You've missed out the most important bit of a squeeze page - the call to action! You're not asking or telling your reader to fill in their details. As I was reading, I felt like the letter is just getting going, and then suddenly it finished with an opt-in box.

You need to include something like "Enter your name and email address to receive the Sales Letter Magician free of charge, instantly!". Definitely in the box itself, and probably again in the middle of the page somewhere. Prepare the reader for the fact they're going to get it free.