A Dirty copywriting secret

34 replies
I'm not sure if this has every been covered, but I used it in my sales copy. I want to run some split test with and without it.

Anyway, I learned it from Cut-co when I sold their knives.

You start with "my" then "this/the" then "your."

At the beginning of my sales presentation, I'd call it my knife. Watch how my knife cuts through this rope. A bit later, I would start calling it "the" knife, or watch this knife do this. Then toward the end, before I asked them how many knives they wanted, I would start calling it "your" knife. Watch how your knife does such and such.

It was suttle, but effective. It worked for me.


I tried it in my sales copy. At first I call it my course, then the course, then your course.

Why will my course be any different?

... if you aren't happy with how much this course transforms your figure drawings.

Click here and buy your new course, Master the Human Figure.

If you do any split studies using this technique, please share the results here.
#copywriting #dirty #secret
  • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
    What you have described is a demonstration
    of the effectiveness of the knives.

    You just need to transfer the demonstration concept into other media.

    And yes, demonstration is one of the very best selling methods.

    Best,
    Ewen
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  • Profile picture of the author masterpaintingnow
    True, but something about calling it "My knives" then "The knives" then "Your knives" made them feel more obligated to buy. It was why we were trained to do it. The company had split tested it several times. I split tested it as well. I always sold more when I used that technique.
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    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
      Originally Posted by masterpaintingnow View Post

      True, but something about calling it "My knives" then "The knives" then "Your knives" made them feel more obligated to buy. It was why we were trained to do it. The company had split tested it several times. I split tested it as well. I always sold more when I used that technique.
      Thanks for that.

      I see it working the right sequence in the buyers thinking.

      Thanks for the little formula.

      Best,
      Ewen
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  • Profile picture of the author 1robert
    Dude, Your asking for critiques for your headlines and copy and I offered you a complete rewrite for FREE that you ignored and now you're giving out copywriting tips?

    Why does this sound strange to me?
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  • Profile picture of the author masterpaintingnow
    It's not a copy right tip per say, but a sales tip I learned that I applied to my copy. I want to run a split test, where the only thing different in the copy is "my course" "this course" and "Your course" all remains "my course" or "this course." While the one I have now remains the same, which goes from calling it my course, to this course, to your course.

    My copy for Master the Human Figure has a 3% conversion rate right now.

    1robert, I can't recall what your advice was for my sales copy for Master the Human Figure.

    The headline I ended up going with is "Discover the 7 Secrets to Figure Drawing: Draw Awesome Figures in Two Weeks."

    You can see the working copy at how to draw human figures | MasterPaintingNow
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  • Profile picture of the author masterpaintingnow
    Or maybe just a tad more than 3%. Out of 600 visitors to that page, 20 bought it. Of those 20 4 upsold. I haven't written a sales copy yet for what I am upselling to, the Master Head Course.
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  • I believe this is a cutting edge sales copy strategy.

    some people might view it as "sharp practice" but I was excited reading it.

    One a "knife edge" so to speak.
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    • Originally Posted by Quality Copywriter View Post

      I believe this is a cutting edge sales copy strategy.
      some people might view it as "sharp practice" but I was excited reading it.
      One a "knife edge" so to speak.
      Actually very handy little advice. I'll be sure to experiment with it in my texts. Thanks.
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  • Profile picture of the author EnglishNarrator
    Hadn't heard this before, useful info, thanks.
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    • Profile picture of the author tylerjaysen
      dude ..yeah that concept is pretty cool....not sure about the conversations about you being a writer or whatever.,.

      ....but damn noticed 2 typos in your posts already....s/b "subtle" not suttle and "copywriter"...like you're writing something;;

      ...not like copyright like a patent....sheesh man.
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      • Profile picture of the author SethTheUBotGuy
        Maybe his goal is to make the site seem "amateurish" so that people are more comfortable....it's a technique!

        Originally Posted by tylerjaysen View Post

        dude ..yeah that concept is pretty cool....not sure about the conversations about you being a writer or whatever.,.

        ....but damn noticed 2 typos in your posts already....s/b "subtle" not suttle and "copywriter"...like you're writing something;;

        ...not like copyright like a patent....sheesh man.
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      • Profile picture of the author masterpaintingnow
        Originally Posted by tylerjaysen View Post

        dude ..yeah that concept is pretty cool....not sure about the conversations about you being a writer or whatever.,.

        ....but damn noticed 2 typos in your posts already....s/b "subtle" not suttle and "copywriter"...like you're writing something;;

        ...not like copyright like a patent....sheesh man.
        I don't read my post before I click submit reply. Don't see why I should. It's not like I am being paid to write a post. I thought I'd share a technique that I learned from a great sales man. He brought me from being an okay sales person to being the top sales person of my county.

        All I know is the technique worked for us.

        Why are you so worried about if I make typos in my post? Rather, find them in my sales copy for I can fix them. :p
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  • Profile picture of the author MontelloMarketing
    Discounting this, or other old time sales tactics would not be smart for any of you. This is the kind of stuff this forum needs more of.

    Originally Posted by masterpaintingnow View Post

    I'm not sure if this has every been covered, but I used it in my sales copy. I want to run some split test with and without it.

    Anyway, I learned it from Cut-co when I sold their knives.

    You start with "my" then "this/the" then "your."

    At the beginning of my sales presentation, I'd call it my knife. Watch how my knife cuts through this rope. A bit later, I would start calling it "the" knife, or watch this knife do this. Then toward the end, before I asked them how many knives they wanted, I would start calling it "your" knife. Watch how your knife does such and such.

    It was suttle, but effective. It worked for me.


    I tried it in my sales copy. At first I call it my course, then the course, then your course.

    Why will my course be any different?

    ... if you aren't happy with how much this course transforms your figure drawings.

    Click here and buy your new course, Master the Human Figure.

    If you do any split studies using this technique, please share the results here.
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    Join Us For Free Conversion Webinars
    CLICK HERE!
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Warriors
    It's a pretty classic sales strategy to move from "cold" to "warm" as the presentation progresses.

    I mean, if you think about it, what's the difference between a cold lead and a warm lead?

    Nothing but the fact that a warm prospect has indicated an inclination to buy.

    So, really, if you start off on a cold sale, and find along the course of the presentation that the lead is in fact very interested in buying, the lead has turned warm.

    If you do get indications that the prospect wants to buy, it is very effective to start "assuming the sale" and speaking about "your product" instead of "my product" or "this product."

    But you do need the rapport, and the indications of interest, before this will really work.

    Of course, you can duplicate this strategy in sales copy.

    It's probably not as effective in a sales letter as in an in-person sales presentation, but it's certainly not going to hurt.
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  • Profile picture of the author Adetony
    Very important lesson I have learnt here today. Me to you.
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  • Profile picture of the author MattStevens
    Not sure if you are trying to sell to Americans or not, but it's gonna be hard for you if you can't spell and write with an American style flow
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    • Profile picture of the author masterpaintingnow
      Originally Posted by MattStevens View Post

      Not sure if you are trying to sell to Americans or not, but it's gonna be hard for you if you can't spell and write with an American style flow
      The following snippet is from the beginning of my sales copy.

      Discover the 7 Hottest Secrets of Figure Drawing-

      Draw Remarkable Figures in Two Weeks

      Ever feel so frustrated with your figure drawings you just want to give up? Is it even hard to draw a cartoon?

      You see other artists' work and think, why can't I draw mind-blowing figures like that? I used to feel the same way until I discovered the hottest secrets of figure drawing, and I'm going to share them with you.

      Tim thought he would never be a concept artist because his figure drawings weren't good enough, but then he found my 10 hour course, and guess what? He's now a concept artist.
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  • Profile picture of the author MattStevens
    Cool..not bad.

    Not sure if you are looking for tips or not...

    But...if you could put WHO the person is that you discovered the "secret" from when it comes to figure drawing, it might help convincing people that you truly have the "secret", especially if the WHO is someone respected in the niche

    Just my 2 cents
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  • Profile picture of the author WinstonTian
    It's strange though.

    The brain processes "verbal speech" and "written speech" in
    two completely different neuropathways. So I keep wondering
    about direct application in linguistic techniques from classic
    salesmanship straight down to copywriting...

    ...Do they really work? Or maybe they are lowered in efficacy?

    I've found master closers to work just as well in copy though.

    Winston Tian
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    Cheers,
    Winston
    The Beginner's Doctor

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  • Profile picture of the author Akibahoward
    Cut-Co. My mom still has her knives (which I sold her over 15 years ago) those things really work. Much like, as you describe, the sales technique. It's powerful. I'd love to know your results...

    A
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  • Profile picture of the author bobbyhouston
    Yes, this sounds like it makes sense from a psychological point of view. I am actually in the process of making a course on mental triggers that have worked for me.
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  • Profile picture of the author masterpaintingnow
    I was learning a lot about copywriting and I still am, but what is working better right now is just to write the sales letter as if I am right there face to face trying to sell them knives, vacuums, jewlery, etc, the stuff I have done sales for.
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  • Profile picture of the author kasei
    I have never really thought about it but now seeing it in this threat it really looks like the obvious thing to do right from the start. Thank you for sharing.
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    • Profile picture of the author apartridge7
      I think its a very good little technique. And if its been tested and the results show it does have a positive result then id use it definately. But did you feel more confident using that technique as it may show in your confidence that the product is good whereas when u didnt use the technique your confidence wasnt so high therefor not as good a sales pitch?
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  • Profile picture of the author hydrationmax
    I'll be doing that from now on. Thanks for sharing.
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  • Profile picture of the author we love prophet mohammad
    Banned
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  • Profile picture of the author Jerome Y
    haha damn, I have been doing that for quite a while now ! you've just revealed some valuable secrets !
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  • Profile picture of the author CashReview
    Simple but effective. Makes a lot of sense. Appreciate you sharing...
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  • Profile picture of the author MarketMyko
    thanks, will try this
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  • In addition, your thread subject wording is on the money, whenever the two words''dirty'' and ''secret'' are in the same sentence that is enough to often peak many people's curiosity!
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    • Profile picture of the author Jeremey
      Good sales technique - The transference of ownership. I've seen it work many times, though typically when the sale is a tangible item that the prospect can see and touch. It's particularly effective when you allow the prospect to physically hold the item in their hands, referring to it as "their knife/vacuum cleaner/encyclopedia."

      Like some of the other folks here, I'm not sure how effective that is with the written word. Without having a physical product in front of them, you're not really appealing to ownership of a tangible good. In most cases, you're going to want to sell them on the concept of what that good or service can do for them.

      In other words, if you're selling a drawing course, what seems more likely to be effective - The idea of them "owning" a drawing course, or the idea of them becoming a great artist? If you get them to picture themselves as the next Rembrandt, they're far more likely to see your course as the pathway to success - rather than seeing themselves "holding" your course as a possession, or imagining what it would be like to study using your classes.

      It sounds like you've had some real success with that technique. But consider that certain niches such as art courses or music lessons are going to bank on a prospect's emotion and vanity. Your headlines do a good job of appealing to that vanity and frustration, and the idea that your course can connect the dots for them in a few simple steps.

      Imagine for a second that you're pitching psoriasis cream instead. Would the same technique be as effective - i.e., "My psoriasis cream will clear up your skin.....(skim down page)..."With your psoriasis cream you can wear short sleeves in public again!"

      My gut tells me that the prospect is going to be more excited about the idea of wearing short sleeves in public again than they are actually "owning" the physical bottle of cream.

      Keep in mind I'm new here, so everything I say could be totally wrong And I'll admit it if that's the case. But I did want to share a few ideas I had from your original post.
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  • Profile picture of the author masterpaintingnow
    Imagine for a second that you're pitching psoriasis cream instead. Would the same technique be as effective - i.e., "My psoriasis cream will clear up your skin.....(skim down page)..."With your psoriasis cream you can wear short sleeves in public again!"
    This made me LOL. It's true; it might hurt in this case.

    I wondering if you could still transfer ownership in that of the dream. You start off talking about my dream of wearing a t-shirt again, and then this dream of wearing a t-shirt again, then end with a call to action, make your dream of wearing a t-shirt again come true.

    It's so suttle, but I really believe it works. I still need to split test two identicle copies with only the change of pronouns. Maybe I will change them on my page for a week and see what happens.
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  • Profile picture of the author CopyMonster
    Like you, I slide these types of structures into my copy.

    Gets them excited. Bumps up responses.

    I sometimes wonder if it's fair on readers. Probably isn't. But when you get generous, profit-friendly results, it's hard to resist. You just want to use this and it's kind even more.

    I confess. I collect these things like collecting stamps. Then you put them out on display. Everyone goes wow! They love you and don't quite know why. Actually, they think they do. But you GET the real reason why...

    Fun stuff. Irresistible stuff. Profitable stuff.

    Just what the (profit) doctor ordered.
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    Scary good...
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