Why Isn't This Squeeze Page Converting?

by rimam1
60 replies
UPDATE:

Here's my new squeeze page: http://www.TheWeightLossConspiracy.c...-hacks-squeeze

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Hey Warriors,

I created the following squeeze page, but I'm not getting the conversions I expected:

www.TheWeightLossConspiracy.com

I feel that the headline and image are pretty powerful. The bullet-points are based on facts that my market is interested in (of course, I have to confirm by testing).

I'll test a standard squeeze page where I offer a free report to see if it does any better.

But as is, I'd love feedback on what I could improve on this squeeze.

Thanks,
Raza
#converting #page #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author Shawn Wilson
    My 2 cents from first impression that I would fix. Too much information on the squeeze, plus some of the fonts are hard to read.

    Condense and be more direct.

    Your optin MUST be above the fold. That, right there will increase your conversions.

    Good luck and keep tweaking. It's all about testing.
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  • There are a few things amiss.

    Copy for a "squeeze" ideally needs to be on one page.

    Best not to make people scroll - because they might not bother.

    But the major problem is - it's too difficult to read.

    Start by making the "script" font clearer.

    And tidy up the graphics - just make (straight)* circles rather than doodles.

    And always make the opt in above the fold.

    And get as much traffic to it as possible - no traffic = a poor or no response.


    Steve


    P.S. Shawn said it first by 2 mins...

    *And what exactly is a straight circle? - hopefully you know what I mean.

    But when copywriting always be precise...
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  • Profile picture of the author NickN
    Squeeze pages typically have the opt-in box above the fold.

    The word "metabolism" in your headline doesn't sound "sexy" enough. Sure, boosting metabolism is a benefit--but it's a weak one. Tell your reader what kind of results they'll get from boosting metabolism.

    Also, try testing"learn" and "discover." "Discover" is usually the better-performing word.
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Originally Posted by rimam1 View Post

    I feel that the headline and image are pretty powerful. The bullet-points are based on facts that my market is interested in (of course, I have to confirm by testing).
    Your headline's a generic, heard-it-all-before one, and you're hampering it with a subhead that drew my attention first and a line of copy between the two that seems out of place. Plus your pre-head and deck aren't particularly easy to read. (And the word learn is usually a negative, go with something like discover instead.)

    There's no logical flow to the page that would encourage the reader to scroll down to see your opt-in form.

    And if they do scroll you don't have a strong enough reason why they should give you their email address.

    There's only one small credibility element on the page, get some more and some proof.
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    Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    It's a visual train wreck. The first line of script is hard to read. Then that hand-done flow chart thing looks like a kid scribbled everywhere. Don't try and be cute. Get the facts out there so people know what you're offering.
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  • Profile picture of the author objectifsucces
    Raza, just my 0.02 on this :

    My guess is that people are not as much interested in "boost your metabolism" than in "get back to your perfect weight".

    Just IMO...

    Cheers,

    Jean
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  • Profile picture of the author emsgroup
    First you've got a typo in the the pre-head (2 are's) That's if you can read it.

    The headline has got "work" written all over it. "Workout" "Secrets" implying this ain't simple "25 minutes a day" etc.

    People want easy - not work.

    Your premise and theme is a conspiracy but you don't play it up enough.

    Possible alternative headline...

    "Discover the Secret to Boost Your Metabolism and Shed Pounds without 'Impossible-to- Follow' Fad Diets or Crazy 'Infomercial Exercise Gadgets' - It's FREE for the Asking"


    Dale
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    Fix your ad - guaranteed.
    http://flashvideoscripts.com/consult/

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  • Profile picture of the author aroth
    Way too much copy. drop everything accept the headline and the opt in.

    P.S. I like that graphic diagram, how did you make it?
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    • Profile picture of the author rimam1
      Here's my second iteration: http://www.TheWeightLossConspiracy.c...-hacks-squeeze.

      Do you think it's better than the first?

      @EMSGroup Thanks for the sample headline, I'll test it. I agree with what you said about playing up the "conspiracy" aspect.

      @TravelinGuy Visual train wreck huh? I thought the image would connect with people. Check out my new squeeze above and tell me if it's any better. I'll get rid of the "hand of sean" font in the pre-headline.

      @Andrew Gould What could I add to the page that would boost credibility without cluttering it up too much? I'll use the word "discover" per your advice. But what stronger reason could I give to get people to give up their email address?

      @Shawn Wilson Thanks for your help. I'll condense it put the optin above the fold.
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      • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
        Originally Posted by rimam1 View Post

        Here's my second iteration: http://www.TheWeightLossConspiracy.c...-hacks-squeeze.

        Do you think it's better than the first?

        @EMSGroup Thanks for the sample headline, I'll test it. I agree with what you said about playing up the "conspiracy" aspect.

        @TravelinGuy Visual train wreck huh? I thought the image would connect with people. Check out my new squeeze above and tell me if it's any better. I'll get rid of the "hand of sean" font in the pre-headline.

        @Andrew Gould What could I add to the page that would boost credibility without cluttering it up too much? I'll use the word "discover" per your advice. But what stronger reason could I give to get people to give up their email address?

        @Shawn Wilson Thanks for your help. I'll condense it put the optin above the fold.
        MUCH better.

        Now, put a dash between metabolism and boosting. Then get a template that your text will fit without being way over to the left and you've got something.
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      • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
        Originally Posted by rimam1 View Post

        @Andrew Gould What could I add to the page that would boost credibility without cluttering it up too much? I'll use the word "discover" per your advice. But what stronger reason could I give to get people to give up their email address?
        Picky bits first:

        On version two, it looks like the opt-in box should be to the right of the text but on my Mac it's below (in both Firefox and Chrome, screen resolution 2560x1440), the top of your bullet list's still got the default text there, the single bright red word in the headline looks odd, and the opt-in CTA's plain text instead of a button.

        General critique:

        The pre-head doesn't flow into the headline at all.

        If you're going to use the word scientific, back it up with the science.

        Make the first sentence you focused rather than I focused.

        As before, why should I believe what you're saying?

        The bullets could do with spicing up.

        Questions answered:

        The first version mentioned a scientific study, that'd be a good starting point for credibility.

        The reason why prospects will give you their email address is because they think you can help them, so you want to give them something that can take them a step closer to their goals. Your current offer is far too general.

        And make it as tangible as possible - give it a value and a cover. Formats to consider using are cheat sheets, X day courses (like Perry Marshall does), and video.
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        Andrew Gould

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        • Profile picture of the author copyassassin
          Hi Raza,

          I think you've posted on Perry Marshall's blog before, right?

          I remember you.

          Anyway, below is a link for a squeeze page he just did for a webinar. I'd S&D this model, as he tests his pages very well:

          How to Attract and Keep Consulting Clients


          Also, I've noticed you're going after the 'metabolism" angle, with the end result being to lose weight.

          However, if a person has a thyiod condition, then their metabolism WOULD BE low.

          In other words, I think women searching the web with a thyroid issue would be naturally pre-disposted to content containing "metabolism" secrets.

          Or, you could introduce this as the reason they aren't losing weight.

          A potential idea to riff on would be:

          "Quick & Easy Quiz Reveals If Low Thyroid
          Function Could Be Responsible For Your
          Inability to Lose Weight"

          Dear Frustrated Dieter,

          If you are currently struggling to lose weight, it might not actually be your fault according to widely acclaimed thyroid expert Dr. Adam Libermanberg, M.D.

          In fact, a majority of Los Angeles women [if doing geotargeting you can insert state or city] who reported achieving amazing results only did so when they corrected an underlying thyroid issue.

          Dr. Libermanberg's peer reviewed ground breaking research reveals your thyroid is the "furnace the melts the fat away". And if your furnace is low, you won't lose weight, no matter how hard you try.

          To find out if your inability to lose weight could be due to an underlying thyroid issue, please take our 7 question quiz.

          We'll provide a customized report that will be immediately emailed to you with specific foods that are know to increase thyroid function so you can melt the pounds away.
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  • Profile picture of the author Weedy92
    - Handwritten text at the top is too small to read.
    - Feels black and white, no real emotion to get the visitor in the "interest" mode.
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    • Profile picture of the author rimam1
      @TravelinGuy I have a lot of respect for you, so your feedback means a lot. I just fixed my template.

      @CopyAssasin Adam Libman, right? I remember you also. I hope you're doing well. Your headline and copy is amazing. I'm thinking about re-working the headline a bit to play up the "conspiracy" bit. BTW, that Perry Marshall squeeze page is great.

      @Andrew Gould I fixed the optin box, button, and headline color. I will rework the headline.

      "Discover the Nutrition Hacks to Get the Body You've Always Wanted in My 7-Day E-Course -- Without Fad Diets or Gimmicky Exercise Equipment"

      "Discover the 7 Dirty Secrets the Fitness Industry Doesn't Want You to Know So You Can Finally Get the Physique You've Always Wanted"

      "Discover the 7 Biggest Lies the 'Diet' Industry Promotes to Keep You Fat and Their Pockets Fatter"


      or what I already have...

      "The #1 Metabolism Boosting Secret to 'Trick' Your Body Into Producing a Flood of Fat-Burning Hormones -- In 25 Mins/Day"
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        • Profile picture of the author JacMer
          Hi Raza.
          I'm using IE 9 and at the begining of the 2nd paragraph there is some code showing "<span style="background-color: #ffff3b;">" - end tag maybe?

          This latest edition still seems to make the viewer work to figure out where you are going and what's in it for them.

          But you're getting there

          ---------------
          It's not browser specific - the code shows in Chrome and Firefox as well
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      • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
        Originally Posted by rimam1 View Post

        @Andrew Gould I fixed the optin box, button, and headline color. I will rework the headline.
        None of them are terrible but they're all pretty generic and in a hyper-competitive market like weight loss you're going to struggle to stand out.

        Before trying to come up with anything else make sure you can answer the following:

        Who are your prospects? What's their problem? What do they want? What don't they want? What have they already tried? What do they believe about their problem? What language do they use when talking about their problem?

        When you know your prospect, look at the market - see how your competitors are getting leads and what you need to do to differentiate.
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        • Profile picture of the author thailanddave
          I like the 2nd page layout but what are you selling? Why do I want a higher metabolism?

          I mean I know and you know but will someone else know when they have a 2 second look at your website?

          Discover the Easiest Way to Lose Weight

          etc.
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  • Profile picture of the author rimam1
    @JacMer Just fixed the errors. What could I say that would be for them? It seems like I'm missing something, but I can't figure out what? Thanks for all of your help.

    @Andrew are you saying I should aim the headline to a specific group of people? Like college girls, working moms, overweight dads, etc?

    Thanks,
    Raza
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    • hi there

      ok here's a few things you can try

      1) get the opt in above the fold. this is vital- dont be relying on people to scroll down.

      3) drop the word" learn" from your headline. discover is more exciting.

      4) make it benefit focussed- ask yourself this - do people want to a fas metabolism or do they want a sleek, sexy figure that that will get them laid or whatever? sell the sizzle-not the steak

      www.peterbrennan.net
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    • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
      Originally Posted by rimam1 View Post

      @Andrew are you saying I should aim the headline to a specific group of people? Like college girls, working moms, overweight dads, etc?
      Not just the headline, the entire page and every other piece of marketing material you produce should always be aimed at a specific audience.
      Signature

      Andrew Gould

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  • Yes Andrew is right.

    You can't be all things to all people.

    Sometimes you feel it should work - but it rarely if ever does.

    Because the sales letter, promo or ad just becomes too generic.


    Steve
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    • You have several problems with your page. First of all, the scribble font is just too hard to read, period. Making it hard on the eyes of your readers will send them running quick.

      The second thing is the use of the word "learn." People don't want to "learn" anything because it sounds too much like work. I know it sounds crazy, but that's true. Most people are lazy and don't want anything that sounds like they actually have to work.

      The third thing is your headline saying they need to workout 25 minutes, 3 times a week doesn't seem easy to people who are out of shape/overweight. In actuality, that's nothing, but people who are overweight are overweight for a reason:

      Most of them lack the desire or motivation to simply exercise, eat right, drink plenty of water. Just come up with a better headline and if they eventually opt-in or get the product, then you can reveal the work/plan they will have to do/follow. Sell them on the benefit of losing weight and futurecast (Imagine having a flat, ripped to-the-bone midsection that you've always wanted; Just picture yourself.....)

      How many times have you heard people say, "I need to lose this belly fat" while at the same time eating a greasy hamburger, fries, and sugar-filled soft drink?

      Or hear someone who needs to lose weight see a slim person out for a jog and holler out, "Why is she running? She's already skinny?"

      However, they don't get the fact that in order to lose weight, it takes "work"...and to keep it off, it takes "work."

      Work scares people, so just make it sounds easy, but honest at the same time.

      My advise is to just rewrite the entire page you have now and leave the scribble font out.

      However, if you "must" use the scribble, invest in getting a good whiteboard ad video that UPS made famous.

      That will convert a lot better.
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  • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
    I definitely like the headline a lot. I can tell you it not only grabbed my attention but hit on some of my own emotional buttons. Mainly because 2 years ago I made a major change in my diet that had the same effect your headline talks about.

    My "secret" was drinking raw, liquified veggies 4 times a day. I did this for 2 years straight, WHILE getting my hormones tested. Because this had such a remarkable impact on my hormones along with my health I considered writing a book all about veggies.. but then I thought "who the hell would buy this?".

    Anyway I like what you're doing. My only tip would be this. I'd lower the optin box and make a killer video to put right above it. Since you ARE in a super competitive market, I think a video could serve you well. The bullets didn't seem too compelling to me. Like "think yourself thinner". You mention "gimicky" diet fads and that honestly comes off a bit gimicky to me.

    What might work better is making it all about science & nutrition. There are some really incredible facts out there about the role of micronutrients and the impact they have on hormones. You can talk about that in the video and how high fructose corn syrup is destroying America (because sugar is known to throw off your entire endocrine system and corn syrup is in nearly ALL processed foods - I won't even drink apple juice or orange juice now due to all the corn syrup they use). One of the best videos I ever watched on nutrition was "Sugar - The Bitter Truth" on youtube. Its jampacked with valuable nutritional information and I'd present some info like that in your video.

    Just trying to give you some ideas to think about.

    -Red
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  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    Here may be the crux of the problem:
    "The #1 Metabolism Boosting Secret to Trick Your Body Into Producing a Flood of Fat-Burning Hormones -- In 25 Mins/Day

    You’re going to love these workout routines, fitness tips, and metabolism boosting hacks. They’re designed for busy people who don’t have time to waste on fad diets, supplements, and gimmicky exercise gadgets…"
    You're doing a "bait-and-switch" on the prospect immediately. They're looking for additional information/clarification on "The #1 Metabolism Boosting Secret to Trick Your Body Into Producing a Flood of Fat-Burning Hormones -- In 25 Mins/Day".

    But you deny them. You changed it up instead.

    This 'looks' like a small thing, but it's actually quite significant.

    I realize you think 'more is more' but in this case less is.

    As someone said earlier you have a strong headline, so create some fascinations/bullets that embellish it. Don't change the subject.

    Keep it super simple. Almost to the point of absurdity.

    Look at it this way: I'm sure you've seen the "1 weird tip to" ads. Let me ask you a question.

    Why not 3? Why not 5? Why not 75?

    Why? Because it's been tested ad nausem. 1 is the the winner (right now.)

    - Rick Duris

    PS: The other thing that may be suppressing response is "in 25 Mins/Day". That phrase implies exercise and sounds like work.
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    • Profile picture of the author JacMer
      Hi Raza,
      Sorry for the confusion -
      @JacMer Just fixed the errors. What could I say that would be for them? It seems like I'm missing something, but I can't figure out what? Thanks for all of your help.

      Actually Andrew Gould gave a much better explaination of "them" than I could -
      "Before trying to come up with anything else make sure you can answer the following:

      Who are your prospects? What's their problem? What do they want? What don't they want? What have they already tried? What do they believe about their problem? What language do they use when talking about their problem?

      When you know your prospect, look at the market - see how your competitors are getting leads and what you need to do to differentiate."


      That is really where I was going, Andrew just said it better.

      Thanks Andrew!


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  • Profile picture of the author MatthewAus
    In my opinion there is just too much going on with this page. The is too much detail, not enough mention of the benefits.

    Start by reducing the complexity of the diagram and then measure the results again. How are you driving traffic to the page?
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  • Profile picture of the author rimam1
    @RedShifted thanks for the insight. It means a lot.

    @Rick Duris I didn't think I was doing a "bait and switch" but I thought about what you said and changed my headline. I appreciate the comment about "1 weird trick"

    I like the new headline, but I think the headline/post-headline is a bit wordy?

    http://www.TheWeightLossConspiracy.c...-hacks-squeeze

    Thoughts?
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    • Profile picture of the author aroth
      Originally Posted by rimam1 View Post

      @RedShifted thanks for the insight. It means a lot.

      @Rick Duris I didn't think I was doing a "bait and switch" but I thought about what you said and changed my headline. I appreciate the comment about "1 weird trick"

      I like the new headline, but I think the headline/post-headline is a bit wordy?

      http://www.TheWeightLossConspiracy.c...-hacks-squeeze

      Thoughts?
      That headline isn't powerful enough, if I was someone trying to lose weight why would I care what the "biggest lie" is in the wieght loss industry, I more than likely feel your all lying. Reminding me(the prospect) that weight loss product sellers are liars is a bad idea. Personally, I'd scrap that headline and all those bulletpoints. Replace the bullets with a still image with a "play" button on it. My sure it's a itriguing image. I'd go with a stacked benefit headline and a complimentary headline. And, be specific. If you can add a proof element to it it'd work great too. If the product your selling has testimonials put those underneath the still video image. And, go with a proof/stacked benefit headlines(works magic in weight loss). A headline this kills!:


      "Personal Trainer Reveals Fresh Weight Loss Secret -- Over Five Hundred 100+ losers Confirm Lightning Fast Metabolisms, Without Sacrificing delicous foods, and Rapid Results that are not only to be expected...but GUARANTEED!"
      "Discovering this secret is the "Real Way" your favorite celebrities develop their lean, ripped physiques but never expose in infomercials."

      ^^^that's just something quick off the top of my head but you get the idea.
      Add a video still of someone working out, and a solid 5 testimonials with people's faces next to them you'd be hardpressed not to get excited, "targeted," opt-ins.

      Sidenote: Seriously, bro. What software did you use to create the hand-drwan graphic diagram in your first version of squeeze page?
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      • Profile picture of the author tylerjaysen
        yeah the squeeze pg itself isn't bad.....however...I'm not compelled to opt in after reading the headline...kinda lame.

        You say "lie" in the headline....not really sure and care about that stuff....so I just hit exit.

        Try adding in "you" in headline...Like..."3 Main Reasons Why You're Still Fat"....or something that talks to the person....and says....

        .....hey what you're doing right now to get in shape isn't working....I know what does work...and I will show you if you opt in.
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  • Profile picture of the author world
    Why do I want a higher metabolism?
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    Amazon Websites For Sell PM me!

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  • Profile picture of the author rimam1
    My PPC ad copy mentions metabolism boosting tricks, so I have to make good on that promise in my headline.

    @Andrew Gould and others have mentioned I need to specify my target audience, their desires, etc. My target audience is people who want to get fit and be healthy but who DON'T think they have time. They are either busy parents, or students, or they just feel like they can't get fit... so they don't even try.

    I'm talking to people who just need some fitness tips and tricks that they can do to make them feel like they're in control of their health and that they don't have to settle for being fat, out of shape, or generally unhealthy.

    Sometimes I think that "1 easy trick" ads insult people's intelligence. People know nothing is that simple. I mean a headline like "Lose 29 lbs of Fat in 30 Days Eating Sausage Pizza and Drinking Milkshakes Without Any Exercise" sounds intriguing, but it also sounds scammy.

    How do you give them what they want without killing your credibility and sounding like a scammer? That's the thing. How do you write credible copy that doesn't turn on their B.S. meter?

    Anyway, here's a new headline I'm testing:

    "I'll Show You the #1 Nutrition Secret Models and Athletes Use to Eat Their Way to a Lean, Sexy Body -- Without Fad Diets or Gimmicky Exercise Gadgets"
    Sub-Headline:
    "The Weight Loss Industry HATES This"

    or

    "Revealed -- How to Get the Slim, Sexy Physique You've Always Wanted Using This 1 Weird Fitness Tip The Weight Loss Industry Doesn't Want You to Know -- Without Fad Diets or Gimmicky Exercise Equipment"

    Thanks for everyone's input. It really means a lot.
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  • Hi Raza,

    Neither of your new headlines aim at a specific audience. Both still sound a touch scammy and hypey.

    The 1st one - Rather than say "I'll show you" why not call out to your target audience?

    And in this whacked out market if you use the words "fad" or gimmicky" - they trigger those thoughts in your audiences mind. They think everything in the diet game is - which will now include your stuff. No need to say "the weight loss industry hates this" it's been said 100's of times.


    The 2nd one - Rather than say "Revealed" again call out to your audience.

    Why bother with "you've always wanted" the audience knows what they want.

    Just forget "the weight loss industry doesn't want you to know" spiel. I know you think it creates intrigue. But people see straight through it. Chances are before they buy your stuff they've bought endless "programs" saying there's a "conspiracy" blah blah blah. Also it's not a true statement the "industry" couldn't care less. Unless you make millions by swiping their revenues.

    And in the body copy you'll have to slag off the "industry." No need to - if people are thinking about buying your "program" the other stuff hasn't worked for then anyway (you can briefly remind them why other "diets" don't work - but concentrate on proving why yours does).

    Again take out the words "weird" "fad" and "gimmicky" so you don't trigger the wrong emotions when your people just assume that everything in the diet game is weird, a fad or a gimmick.


    Steve
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  • .... so what words do you use to replace them?

    Look through your "program" and use the power words that best describe what you do.


    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author rimam1
      Thank you Steve. I feel like I just can't get it right. My headlines are either too scammy, too vague, or too bland.

      I have a LOT more respect for the art of copywriting and copywriters in general.

      As a side note, I'm more drawn to subtle, intriguing, and sophisticated copy rather than hypey headlines. I read this on a billboard a few months ago, it was advertising a Lexus car:

      "You can't unpull a trigger" - I thought the imagery was amazing. There was a sub-headline (which I forgot), but the headline was remarkable.

      I also love the classic U.S. Marine Corps ad that said:

      "We promise you sleep deprivation, mental torment, and muscles so sore you'll puke. But we don't want to sugarcoat it."

      I just can't figure out how to write a headline for my squeeze. By the way, I'm an affiliate, not an actual product creator.

      I use the product I'm promoting and I actually like it. So I speak with honesty when I say it works. I just can't get that across in my headline. Here's a link to the vendor if that helps: www.MaxWorkouts.com

      Thanks,
      Raza
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  • Ahhha,

    There's your problem.

    Your website url and your headlines are not even remotely congruent with the sales page.

    So, study the sales page and grab a few idea's from it.


    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author chronic3k
    and atleast add pictures
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  • Well...

    I mentioned it on another post.

    Ewens trusted old warhorse which is by no means battle fatigued...

    Is worth looking at -

    http://www.warriorforum.com/offline-...out-water.html

    This type of headline still has 100,000's of furlongs left in it.


    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author bostonterrierjoe
    i dont like that i have to scroll down and... I think it's a bit too salesy.

    Its hard to say "I will show you" when you give no reason why or who you are....
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  • The page is confusing and really lacks one ,clear, concise message. The part that say ''viscous weight loss cycle'', if you just took that section out I bet it would convert better. I believe that is where you are losing them.
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  • Profile picture of the author JackCronfield
    You can try to move your opt in box to the right side of the screen
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  • Profile picture of the author sloanjim
    Market is saturated and money is tight?
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    • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
      It's not converting because it looks like it belongs in the WSO section.

      This kind of hype doesn't work in the weight loss niche and neither does this red and black editorial design theme. Also, you've got no before and afters, no reference to solid facts, no personalization. Check out the top selling weight loss products on clickbank, check out Kyle Leon's customized fat loss (he's a client of mine and his offer converts damn well).

      You'll see a completely different "feel," to their design, word selection, fonts etc. You'll get the idea.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rezbi
    Raza,

    Just one little tip for now...

    What is the ultimate benefit to me of boosting my metabolism?

    Try to work on that first before you do anything else.
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  • Profile picture of the author wrcato2
    I would change you "warning" into a question, "Are you Sabotaging your own weight loss efforts by...main benefit"

    Your headline needs to be tightened. If I knew one of those tricks I might use it for a benefit headline.

    Since you are testing... Try black and white for your headline and copy, then leave your borders and book cover in color. Do an A,B, & C test.
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  • Profile picture of the author techmaish
    My first impression.
    The message "Warring" is distracting me and i am unable to stay focused on the page content.

    That is what i felt.
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  • Profile picture of the author Elamros
    I think because of the words used. The "Warning" sounds negative. Well, this is just for me. Also, there are too many who choose the health niche or micro niche. What is unique about the product you are selling? If you are not the owner of the site or product, would you use it yourself when you see that squeeze page?
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  • Profile picture of the author 1robert
    Start over dude!

    What you have here is the same old get rich quick look.

    Ditch the warning sign and go with something with more sympathy and empathy.

    think about what people really want and give it to them.

    Here's an old one...

    "How to lose 10 pounds without dieting or exercising!"

    Go for simple
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  • Profile picture of the author MSC
    Or you can use video instead of just plain text on the left and opt in box on the right. Guaranteed increase in opt ins
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  • Profile picture of the author chrisnos
    Here's the problem:

    You lack FOCUS of what people really want.

    Most marketer's problems come from the fact that their ego gets involved; they think their product IS the result, rather than their product being the MIDDLEMAN to the result they're looking for.

    Your customer doesn't care about your product or you; they would skip over your product if they could get their results, but they see your product as a means of achieving something else.

    You're not thinking about your customer's personal wants, desires, and aspirations.

    Consider this:

    What RESULT is your user looking for?

    Are people searching Google thinking "hmm... I'm going to find a workout trick to get the body I want in 25 mins/3x's a week... oh boy! I've always wanted a spice that boosts my metabolism"

    Remember benefits NOT features from your marketing training?

    The spice is a feature... instead of talking about the spice and that it's in their house, talk about how they'll be turning heads when they USE the spice.

    Does that EXCITE them? NO.

    What are they DREAMING of?

    For example, what is their biggest passion, fear of not achieving, or desired outcome in the REAL WORLD; the promise of something that will gratify their ego as a result of losing weight, such as more attention from women/men, or if they don't like feeling like their body isn't at optimal/maximum performance it could be the inner knowing of walking around knowing all day, every day, that their body is struggling, or weaker than it could be.

    What is your reader/customer's FINAL OUTCOME they desire when they first search Google (i.e. imagining the attention they get walking around, getting their ego gratified from everyone admiring their body, that your product is simply a middleman between).
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  • Profile picture of the author emsgroup
    Your headline implies way too much work involved...people are fat because they're lazy. Cut off the in 25 min part and tell them how much work it is after they optin.
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve Faber
    Instead of "For people who want to lose at least 10 pounds"

    try

    "If you've only got 10 or 15 pounds to lose, this information is probably more than you need."

    Just split test everything.
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