Please Critique This Advertorial

Part of the success of an advertorial is matching the
layout and editorial style where it's placed.

Therefore, just critiquing the advertorial on it's own is
a bit pointless.

Best,
Ewen

Yes, it's all about results.

But the copy is a touch boring. And doesn't flow well.

Here's one of the subheads -

After the Sir Grout Service, You Will No Longer Need to Use Bleach, Acid & Other Harsh Chemical Cleaners at All!

Here's how it should read -

After the Sir Grout Service - You No Longer Need Bleach, Acid or Any Harsh Chemicals Ever Again!

or as it's obvious this is the "after treatment" just say -

You No Longer Need Bleach, Acid or Any Harsh Chemical Ever Again!


Ok, grout isn't the most exciting subject in the world -

But ask your writer to take out all the unnecessary words and phrases.

And concentrate on really igniting the problems and sparking up the solution.

Just liven it up a bit.


Steve

Where is this going to be advertised?

Unless this is going in a print ad I don't think a long sales copy is your best approach for a product like this.

I think your best bet would be to create a video. Then maybe you can use this sales pitch under the video. Also...

I don't think anyone thinks much about the grout when they clean their tiled floors. And I don't think they care enough to pay someone to come over and make sure it's clean because all they need to do is just mop their floors with some cleaning solution. Anyone can do that right?

So I think you're going to need to change your marketing approach...

I think your best bet is to do the video approach, but instead of targeting everyone with a tile floor, I think your best bet would be to target all the germaphobes out there...

Change your pitch to something like "WARNING: If you have tile floors, your house is a breading ground for bacteria!"

Then in the video you could do some of those scientific experiments where you swab the grout after moping a floor using a cleaning solution. Then you show them all the nasty bacteria that's still being left behind, etc.

Point is, what you got right now isn't good enough to get someone wanting to pick up their phones and call you. If you want to get people interested in cleaning their grout. You gotta show them why they should and I don't think words alone are going to cut it here..

Feel free to contact me if you need a writer. I 'm too new to send you a PM.

Dana

Thanks for the response. The advertorial will be publish in a local magazine. We are in the process of designing the layout. Will show of guys once the advertorial is in print.