Question on Women's Dating Copy

I do think that they have an innate attachment to the
importance of appearances... Otherwise, they wouldn't put on
make-up before a date or read style/fashion magazines.

But maybe the motivational belief behind it might be a little
different from what we males tend to think?

For example, it might because they are "educated" by social
conditioning that males perceive appearances to be of high
priority and hence are motivated... But not because they
themselves highly value appearances instinctively in a
decisive manner.

The best choice would be to approach a female for insights,
actually lol

Winston Tian

Think of "smart & successful" as equivalent to "a really nice guy." It's a problem for many women in the dating market.

Within this niche, I think the approach you are outlining doesn't appeal as well to a female audience.

Men seem to respond to problem-agitate-solve in this niche better than women do.

Women will often respond better to relating to them - less about them not being whatever enough and more about how they feel when women who are less attractive than them, or less successful than them, or not as smart as them always seem to get the best guys.

you can't compare offers for men and women.... and you certainly can't compare copy selling to mens dating vs women's dating.

its apples and oranges.

the best dating site in my homeland is Naijapals, check it out.

Use it. It eliminates fear and doubt. Don't sit around anal-yzing it. It can't hurt and has the potential to help, a lot.

When I did the recover my lover copy, I had to ask myself: Why would a woman want to get her man back?

I went with the soul-mate/destiny positioning. Unfortunately, the owner hasn't started driving traffic to it yet, so I don't know how well it may convert.

In essence though...

I feel like women are generally deeper than men.

They feel things more intensely.

They're more in touch with their emotions.

They're able to more clearly communicate what they want (when it comes to men and love.)

But even some of the most gorgeous women you've ever met have their hang ups.

Shyness.

Insecurity.

Lack of self worth.

If I were putting myself in the shoes of a woman who is looking for a long-term relationship, I wouldn't assume anything about her looks, economic status or facade.

Instead...

I'd start the copy off by talking about the life she wants to create.

Her fantasies, desires, hopes and dreams... (e.g. reach out to that little girl who imagined herself walking down the aisle.)

I would talk about how all the experiences she has had with men, for better or worse, led her to having even more awareness about what she REALLY wants.

But she realizes there are some crucial aspects she hasn't considered for finding Mr. Right.

Enter the solution.

Of course...

I'm assuming that the whole "catch him and keep him" ideal means you're selling a product that teaches women how to create the love life they've always wanted.

My point is...

Tap into the idealism that many women hold onto from their childhood and help them make sense of all the chaos that came with adulthood.

Mark

...just thinking about a different angle on this.

Do women want to be reminded about insecurities, emotional hang - ups, lack of income, self esteem etc?

Could you do a "catch and keep - on your terms" type of promo?

Steve

Andy,

Here's my take...

Women get hit on all the time... even if they're not very attractive. So I don't think this is a big issue for you.

What IS the issue is not finding "a guy", but finding "Mr. Right".

Remember... society has long demonized sex for women, and the hangups are still felt today.

Think about "Sex And The City"...

The storylines don't usually revolve around the women having trouble finding a man... more than the guys they do find are all cheaters, liars, and scumbags.

(CAVEAT: I've seen like 2 episodes, so I may not be the ultimate authority here.)

What a lot of these women want is to find a GUY who has a whole checklist of requirements (funny, rich, handsome, good in bed, nice, etc)... though many won't admit to their superficiality.

Their fear stems from getting together with a guy who will just use her for sex. One night stands... cheaters... and other a-holes.

Of course, most of the women you're writing to will be well... desperate. Their biological clock is ticking, they're worried they'll be alone forever and all the "good men" will be taken off the market.

You've got to turn around and arm them with the tools and techniques they need to not only pinpoint the right guy... but also to be irresistible to him.

Ultimately (and I don't mean this nastily), I don't think you've done your research here. You've gotta read more "Cosmo" and "Marie Claire" to understand the types of emotional hot buttons this market has.

-Daniel

...yes, they can do this, but then come home to, or go out with a partner who isn't a wuss but does show that they care about and understands them. Why would this work? Because when was the last time they felt that someone cared enough?

Yea it's true women (tend) to crave for Alpha's - they'll read books and watch movies about the "bad guys" but, in real life they also want to be cared for and understood. As well as feeling empowered.

If she has a partner who overdoes the alpha stuff and constantly treats her badly, she'll soon get tired trying to "tame" him. The relationship is doomed. And she knows it.

...so our damsel can spend her life being badly treated, taming the bad guys, when she does, she endlessly moves on to the next one. Ideally, she wants a bad guy who won't ever be tamed but does (enough of the time) treat her the way she wants.

This thread is quite hilarious, I feel like some kind of specimen being stared at and analysed in a science lab.

Amazingly enough, not all women are the same.


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This might be your angle. You ever talked to a woman that had a boyfriend or husband cheat on them with a less attractive woman? This almost seems to gripe them more than the man cheating, that he cheated on them with a physically less ''alpha'' female!!

So if you want to work that into your copy ,without offending the reader, you might approach it like '' Ever noticed that sometimes the ''other woman'' is not that attractive? what is it about ..."

Wouldn't know. I've never dated.

Been married as far back as I can remember.

The word you're looking for is "miserable", Rezbi

This is just one guy's perspective here...

When it comes to dating, as many have pointed out, women have a whole different set of priorities than men. And being good looking enough...I just don't think that's high on the list of concerns for most women.

This may seem crass, but "looks" are an appeal to physical acceptance. Men worry like mad about this. Women on the other hand...Well, I hate to say it, but even the ugliest of girls can get lucky. Guys need sex, and women know this. Even the not so pretty ones. So it's rare that they place a high priority on being pretty enough to snag a guy.

What's far more likely is the insecurity a woman has about her personality. Why can't she find the right guy - Is she too demanding? Is she a doormat? Does she talk too much or is she too clingy?

Personally, I think a woman's self esteem about her looks is far more sensitive with regard to other women and how pretty she is compared to her peers, or the girls on the magazines...But that's not a big a deal when dealing with men because if she can't find Mr Right then she thinks there's something wrong with her. Personally.

So I would say disregard the angle that a girl doesn't feel pretty enough to get dates. Not for the reasons you stated above (sensitivity), but because I just don't think looks are a big factor in a woman's dating self assessment.

Look for a different angle, maybe one that plays on building her self confidence up so she'll feel more powerful in a dating situation. And disregarding the "do you feel too ugly" pitch.

I'm a guy though so what do I know...