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I dare you to find flaw with my squeeze page!

by Sebastian Alexander
25 replies
...because that's the only way I will improve! Jest aside, there are some incredibly knowledgeable copywriters here and I'd love for you guys to have a look and tell me how you think it'll convert. It's here.

www.insidertrafficsecret.com

Feel free to take it apart. Thanks for taking the time!
#dare #find #flaw #page #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author Steve The Copywriter
    It's Ok.

    The graphics and the colours are a bit weak.

    It could ripped to shreds because it sounds like hype. Nobody knows who you are. And the internet guru's couldn't care less. Why bother "knocking" anyone? Start positioning yourself far above everyone else so you don't need to. Put some credibility on the page.

    The headline could be - "3 FREE Traffic Sources - That Work!" or "Discover 3 FREE Traffic Sources - Guaranteed To Work!", "Discover 3 FREE Traffic Sources Guaranteed To Bring xxx Visitors To Your Site!" Or something similar.

    You'll need tons of traffic, shouldn't be a problem should it?

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Sebastian,

    The "gurus don't want you to know" hook has become stale. Depending on the type of prospect you're trying to attract, it may not work very well for you.

    Alex
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  • Profile picture of the author Sebastian Alexander
    Steve and Alex, thank you very much for the down to earth advice. I knew the headline seemed hyped up but I thought it was supposed to be that way. Thanks for adding perspective. Steve, I used your "...that work" headline 'cause I found it simple and elegant.

    Do you guys think I should put a shaded border around everything, or put two black bars on the left and right like many pages do? It just seems to me like it's "floating" in a sea of white. Maybe it's just me.
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    • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
      Originally Posted by Sebastian Alexander View Post

      Do you guys think I should put a shaded border around everything, or put two black bars on the left and right like many pages do? It just seems to me like it's "floating" in a sea of white. Maybe it's just me.
      It looks like it's floating because your inverted pyramid design doesn't give the eye any horizontal or vertical lines to follow so it just looks like it's been almost randomly thrown together.

      As I've got Photoshop open I took a screen grab and did a quick rearrange for you (plus, I matched the headline red to the bullet red and gave it a subtle bevel instead of a shadow).

      It's slightly sloppy but hopefully you get the idea of how to make it appear more "anchored".



      Regarding the copy, you want a proof or credibility element in there - something that's going to make me believe what you're saying.
      Signature

      Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author Sebastian Alexander
    Ah, that is much better. I did consider doing it that way. I just thought the pyramid shape led the eye smoothly down to the submit form. Thanks for confirming my gut. Gonna change it now.

    PS. Andrew, can you tell me how to make a border like this? It's a random squeeze page I found here on the forum and I really like it. I'm using Kompozer. Is this a table with a shaded area? How do you do it?


    Originally Posted by Andrew Gould View Post

    Regarding the copy, you want a proof or credibility element in there - something that's going to make me believe what you're saying.
    Hm... For example?
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    • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
      Originally Posted by Sebastian Alexander View Post

      PS. Andrew, can you tell me how to make a border like this? It's a random squeeze page I found here on the forum and I really like it. I'm using Kompozer. Is this a table with a shaded area? How do you do it?
      It's done with three Photoshop images:

      http://www.listbuildingmaniac.com/images/backtop.gif

      http://www.listbuildingmaniac.com/images/backmid.gif

      http://www.listbuildingmaniac.com/images/backbottom.gif

      They are used as the background for three <DIV> containers, one the header with the top picture in it, one the footer with the bottom picture in it, and the main one where the content goes with the middle picture in it (you use CSS to tell the browser to keep repeating the middle image while there's still content).

      Hm... For example?
      A few ideas:

      A before and after picture of your traffic stats.

      A quote from, or reference to, an authority figure. E.g. "Discover the secret traffic source Frank Kern used to double his visitors".

      A testimonial.
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      Andrew Gould

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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Grossman
        Originally Posted by Andrew Gould View Post

        It's done with three Photoshop images.
        Or just set a CSS box-shadow on the container, no images required.
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        • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
          Originally Posted by Dan Grossman View Post

          Or just set a CSS box-shadow on the container, no images required.
          I didn't think you could get the "glow" on the non-shadowed sides using just CSS.
          Signature

          Andrew Gould

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          • Profile picture of the author Dan Grossman
            Originally Posted by Andrew Gould View Post

            I didn't think you could get the "glow" on the non-shadowed sides using just CSS.
            As you can see from the documentation, a block-level element can have multiple shadows, so you can have the glow and the drop-shadow on the same element.
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            • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
              Originally Posted by Dan Grossman View Post

              As you can see from the documentation, a block-level element can have multiple shadows, so you can have the glow and the drop-shadow on the same element.
              Thanks, I'll look into it some more.
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              Andrew Gould

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              • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
                Originally Posted by Andrew Gould View Post

                Thanks, I'll look into it some more.
                I looked into it some more and worked out the magic line of code to near-enough replicate the example (no need for two shadows in the end):

                Code:
                box-shadow:5px 5px 15px 2px #444;
                In action:

                https://dl.dropbox.com/u/22444115/shadow.html
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                Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author dlkiefer
    I definitely like Andrew Gould's look better than what you currently have... Plus, I agree with Alex that the:

    3 FREE Traffic Sources The Internet Gurus Don't Want You To Discover is a bit stale and unfortunately, you still have it as your page title... I believe your page title should contain "searchable" keywords while your metadescription can contain similar verbiage as your Header...

    Page Title: Free Traffic Sources (Only 9 other pages globally have this exact phrase in their title and the exact phrase is searched about 38 times a month... Not so good)

    My suggestion would be:
    Title: Increase Traffic To Website (Only 16 other pages globally have this exact phrase in their title [LOW COMPETITION] and the exact phrase is searched about 420 times a month... much better eyes!!!)

    Unfortunately, your website domain INSIDERTRAFFICSECRET is NOT a searchable term at all... However, if you were to use INCREASETRAFFICTOWEBSITENOW.COM (available on Godaddy right now), it has a searchable term in it, your title page would be competitive and your meta description could contain the keywords: Increase Traffic to website now using 3 FREE Traffic Sources. (This action description would show up under the Title and be a reason for me to click)

    Plus, I would definitely add some additional keyword content... at least 250 words that explains the benefits of what I am about to give my information to you for... plus, content is after all KING and will help you in the search engine rankings.

    Just my suggestion :-)

    Best of luck...

    Donna
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve The Copywriter
    ...blimey, I wish Donna would teach me how do all this. And that Andrew was the designer... with their help I could get a grasp on all this inter web technology.

    Sebastian, they've just given you some extremely valuable information and a great design.

    If I was you, I would move quickly on it.


    Steve

    P.S. They are both great copywriters as well - they are truly gifted. If it's Ok I'll just keep writing the words on my typewriter...actually pen and paper, the ribbon needs changing and I haven't got a clue how to do it.
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  • Profile picture of the author ThomasOMalley
    You need some more meat on the bones.

    You need a powerful lead paragraph and some real bullets...it looks very weak.

    Check out Ray Edwards' book, Writing Riches, for an excellent chapter on powerful bullets

    Plus, you need a real headline...check out Vin Montello's excellent report on headlines and use one of them...you'll see a night and day difference.
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  • Profile picture of the author Best Article Writers
    Wow! Some first class input you're getting here!

    My 2 cents,

    I would decrease the width of your web page. It is over 1600 ,pretty wide. On a netbook it doesn't open up on center. As little as you have on this page I would drop the width to 750. It will look a lot better on smaller screens and on mobile it should look fine. There just isn't any reason to have your webpage as wide as this.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    I disagree about using a keyword-driven, bloated domain.

    Stay with a more branded approach.

    Don't do any SEO.

    If your 3 free traffic sources are real and actually work...

    ...use them.

    Mark
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    Do you want a 9 figure copywriter and biz owner to Write With You? I'll work with you, on zoom, to help write your copy or client copy... while you learn from one of the few copywriters to legit hit 9 figures in gross sales! Discover More

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  • Profile picture of the author dlkiefer
    Hi Sebastian,

    I hope it was you who bought the website domain I suggested... Because it is taken now :-(

    Again, I hope it was you!

    Regards,

    Donna
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  • Profile picture of the author Sebastian Alexander
    dlkiefer,

    I hadn't replied to the thread yet 'cause I was still putting all the suggestions into effect, but yes... the domain is indeed taken, and I'm the one who took it. Thank you for your help!
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    • Profile picture of the author dlkiefer
      Originally Posted by Sebastian Alexander View Post

      dlkiefer,

      I hadn't replied to the thread yet 'cause I was still putting all the suggestions into effect, but yes... the domain is indeed taken, and I'm the one who took it. Thank you for your help!
      My pleasure!!! I look forward to seeing how you design it!!!

      I truly believe that creating simple webpages with enough content to get your product sold will keep your product selling years to come... as long as it's a niche and a product worth investing time in :-)

      And if you do have 3 sources that work... all the better!! :-)

      Regards,

      Donna

      P.S. The site is really nice!!! I love it!! :-)

      Make sure your content description leads off with your Keyword Phrase such as - Increase Traffic to Website NOW using these 3 FREE Traffic Sources!
      This will show up under your Title when your keywords are searched... PLUS, it's a bonus to show it in your description... since you are using Wordpress, download the SEOpressor or SEO by Yoast... both will help to ensure you are optimizing each page based on your keyword choice... however, SEOpressor costs about $47 and SEO by Yoast is free: http://yoast.com/wordpress/seo/

      Hope these help :-)
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      • Profile picture of the author dlkiefer
        Just wanted to let you know that I made an update to my previous post above, however, was not sure if you would notice... SOOO, I am telling you in this post to look at the last post... :-)

        Regards,

        Donna

        PS... I would remove the "Welcome to" from your Title and let the Title lead off with your Keyword Phrase... Google likes titles most when they lead off with the keyword phrase :-)

        When you are ready for your site to go public and have some good relevant content on the homepage to support your keywords phrases, have added adsense, have added your Amazon and your own product... then make sure you submit your site to google so it can index it... if you wait for Google to find it, it will take a bit more time... so, make sure you manually submit it to google. :-)

        Cheers

        Oh... and I almost forgot... MAKE SURE you also keyword your Pictures!!! If you add pics or videos, be sure to describe them using your keywords for the page!! :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author dwoods
    Have you looked at it on a 1024x768 screen resolution?
    yucky scroll-bar
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  • Profile picture of the author NickC
    Eric Graham, a.k.a. The Conversion Doctor, tested different privacy statements and found that using the word "spam" near your optin form hurts response. So you might want to consider changing that.

    "We respect your privacy. We will NEVER sell, rent or share your email address." got the best response, with "We respect your privacy." a close second.

    (I don't have a high enough post count to link to his tests, but if you search for "we hate spam" on conversiondoctor.com you should find it.)
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  • Profile picture of the author Cormac L
    Have you considered putting all the info

    on the left hand side of the page

    Tests show that content is read more

    comfortably when the bulk of the content

    it is on the left hand side of a page.

    You can get more info related to that if you

    google it. Here is one example I found

    that demonstrates that the eye tends to

    look immediately on the left when arriving

    on a new page. It's just a small thing that can

    perhaps help you make your site a smoother

    experience for your visitors.

    Should Website Navigation Be On The Left Or Right Hand Side? « The Open Source MarketerThe Open Source Marketer
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  • Profile picture of the author Sebastian Alexander
    I'm going to remove the "spam" from there, thanks everyone for such helpful suggestions! I noticed when I type "www." before my URL, Chrome opens the browser and there's no "www" anymore. Is there a reason for this and could this hurt Google indexing?
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    • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
      Originally Posted by Sebastian Alexander View Post

      I noticed when I type "www." before my URL, Chrome opens the browser and there's no "www" anymore. Is there a reason for this and could this hurt Google indexing?
      This is more SEO than CRO, but here goes:

      The addresses www.mydomain.com and mydomain.com are viewed as different sites by the search engines (technically, without the www it's a root domain, with the www it's a sub-domain).

      This is usually invisible to the user, and even site owner, as most shared hosting automatically points both addresses at the same page.

      But it's still possible for the search engines to view them as two different sites (and possibly hit you with duplicate content penalties), so it's best to take manual control of the pointing.

      The first step is to decide if you want your address to start with www or not. It's almost entirely personal preference (for larger sites there can be issues with cookies and CDNs if you drop the www).

      Then you can go to Google's Webmaster Tools and tell it which one you want to use.

      For the rest of the web you want to use a 301 re-direct to send traffic to your preferred address and the canonical tag to let the other search engines know which one to index.
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