Sales Page Split Test

Hi Jeremy,

Yep, your test page is a step in the right direction.

But I'm not sure about your positioning. To me, you're coming off as a content writer who also writes copy, rather than a copywriter who can provide content. And I think that's the lower value position.

A few other thoughts:

Who are you targeting with this, who's your ideal client?

Your body copy font's a touch small.

Will your prospects know what "post-Penguin world" means, or will you have them cowering under their desks at the fear of a penguin takeover of the world?

I think the vertical bar on your "Build Your Traffic" subhead looks too much like the letter I.

"And I'm telling you that I can put together the right words to make you money." Urgh. Don't tell me, show me.

Switch your last bullet list from I, I, I to you, you, you.

If someone reads the whole page and gets to the bottom, the only option they've got is to go to a contact page. I'd either give more options or just put the contact form there (and on your contact page give more ways to contact you).

Get rid of the powered by Wordpress link, the link in your copyright info and the page title on your homepage - it doesn't add anything.

Start building a list.

On your services pages your prices are above the fold - I can see them before I read your pitch which means I'm going to be judging you on th price you charge rather than the value you offer.

You implemented some good ideas, like using your picture.

But you're still lacking in your presentation. Like I mentioned before... Your text is too small and its annoying to read being off to the left in such small font.

2. Your headline? If you call that a headline, Isn't easy to read. Make your headline text and not an image. Your headline is the first thing people are going to see. If you don't catch their attention with a strong headline they won't read the rest of your pitch.

Stop thinking like a graphic designer and start thinking about whats important. Your 'cool' designed site isn't going to sell anything for you. Only your words can convince someone to buy.

Either make your text more presentable and easier to read or ditch the design. It's not doing you any favors having all that crap on the right hand side. You should be including that into your pitch. Otherwise its a distraction. You don't want to break the flow of your pitch by having a bunch of nonsense begging people to look to see what this big red shiny image is on the right.

I'm not a fan of photos where the subject is touching, or blocking their face.

I developed this aversion from years doing stand-up and public speaking. Sometimes stand-ups or speakers will have a head shot where they look to be resting their chin on their fist, or sort of in between their thumb and forefingers. Really annoying and 1980s-ish.

It doesn't mean you have to be all smiley or fakey, but I'd change the photo.

Hi Jeremey,

The pages and graphics are much improved. The copy is better but still a bit bland and general.

You do give lots of features. "Riveting," 'Dynamic" and "Engaging" are great power verbs but where are the benefits? - you have to write them, even if they are blindingly obvious.

Don't leave it to your audience to work them out. Because the vast majority won't bother.

There's not enough emotional impact - making people say "Yes, yes yes, we need this and we must have it now!"

Essentially you're saying what everybody else is saying - "Excellent SEO writing" But you need to do lots more.

If not, I don't think you'll get you the response you want.

In an overcrowded marketplace you have to completely differentiate yourself from the hoards of competition by showing HOW you improve on all the ways that make SEO outstandingly good. And hammer those point across. Your people now see - you truly are leagues better than the rest.

This might be more difficult. But If you have a way of ensuring your writing is so much better - this is usually done by creating a new "mechanism" ** - a different and better way of doing it, then you need to REALLY emphasise it.

You'll stand out from the crowd and with the right traffic and lots of it, you'll start getting the clients you want.

Hope this helps a bit.

Steve


P.S. I know it's not easy particularly when you are very close to your copy.

Try this as an experiment -

Say we gave you this headline 'Why My SEO Articles Consistently Drive 67% More Qualified Visitors To My Clients' Websites" - could you prove how this is done?

If that's too much of a stretch. Assume you have a new client. The "client" wants an article proving why he is the best SEO writer on the planet. Now just write a spellbinding article.

What they do, how they do it and why they're better than the rest.

It's a lot simpler when it's not you isn't it?

So do it, then make it you.


** from "Breakthrough Advertising" - Eugene Schwartz

Now, now you mustn't reply before I've finished editing my post (lol).

The great thing is - you're listening to, taking in and implementing the suggestions people are giving.

Use the ones you most agree with and feel will work best for you.


Steve

Hi Jeremey,

Don't be afraid to call up any ESP/AR you are considering and ask questions! Feel free to drop me a note via Skype or Twitter if you have any about GetResponse or call or email our customer care team.

Good luck!

Regards,
jim

...Andrew it might be the OP prefers to go with the herd. Or maybe all the threads here have the right "copy" pheromones.


Steve