the first sentence in your copy - long or short?

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I'm curious to know what you guys do in reguards to the very first line in your sales copy. Do you take the sugarman approach and make it short, or are you more open about the length?
#copywriting #copy #long #sentence #short
  • I make all sentences short as possible while saying much.

    That includes the first.

    And last.
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  • Always start with a short sentence.

    Otherwise your poor reader is going to think "Oh no, this looks like hard work..."


    Steve
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    • Banned
      It depends entirely upon who the pitch is to and what the subject matter is.
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  • Thomas,

    Writing shorter lines at the beginning of sales copy or blog posts is definitely a good tactic for keeping your reader engaged and ensuring they will read further. Of course this assumes that the content you have written is compelling in the first place. Users of the web are in a hurry almost all the time and large blocks of text cause anxiety. If your content is good, you can keep your readers engaged by breaking up the first paragraph of text with an image.

    Check out this post on different ways to break up text,

    8 Incredibly Simple Ways to Get More People to Read Your Content | Copyblogger

    SEOMoz come up with 12 things that will kill your blog posts. Check out number 8,

    12 Things That Will Kill Your Blog Post Every Time | SEOmoz

    Best,

    Shawn
  • Know what you want to say to get your point across...

    ...and what you need to communicate to emotionally connect with the reader.

    That's it.

    Forget about length.

    Everyone is too preoccupied by size.

    Most women will tell you:

    Longer is not always better.

    But it doesn't always hurt either.

    Mark

    P.S. I assume you know I'm talking about sentences, right?
    • [2] replies
    • Heya

      I try to keep all the sentences within one breath,

      in other words -take a normal breath in...

      start to read the sentence

      if it you run out of breath before the end -you've run too long.

      time to cut that sucker down to size.
      • [ 1 ] Thanks
    • @Mark Pescetti RofLmAO! Ya, I get it...
  • A short first sentence is definitely better.

    You want your readers to slide down your copy like a greased chute.

    A short first sentence definitely helps with this important goal...see Joseph Sugarman's Adweek Copywriting Handbook or Advertising Secrets of the Written Word about this essential point.
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  • ...and the award for the longest headline and subheadline in the history of advertising...goes to the purveyor of "Social Mastery".

    Bloody hell Chris, I nearly expired, I tried to read it in one breath.

    Now cheer us up - proving you made this long copy work and tell us that the sales are excellent.

    Because there is a massive market for this kind of product.


    Steve



    P.S. It's not the end of the world (providing the sales are good), but there are a few typo's, and bumps that stop the flow which you might want to sort out
    • [1] reply
    • Wow... just a few posts and I've already won two awards!

      I know there's typos... and statistically trying to read my headlines in one breath can be dangerous to your health, so I don't recommend it =)

      I fix them as people point them out to me, but if someone wants results I figure they'll look past a few typos (just from my experience when I've needed products in the past).

      I mean, my best advice in the end would be try both, and whatever works for you keep doing that... I guess long or short being better could also be heavily contingent on the market, and how specific the need is that the individual is looking for.
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  • Have you read any of the masters? Or any course at all?

    Anything where you might have actually seen stuff that's been tested over decades.

    Not opinions.
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  • This is the way the most popular book in the world begins:

    "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."

    -Ray Edwards
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    • Calling something "The Bible of [insert your subject here]..." is still a powerful marketing tactic in itself :p
  • I think you should focus less about how long the sentence is, and more on what the sentence is saying. A short sentence that is uninteresting to the prospect, might as well be a long sentence that is uninteresting. Either way, its going to be tossed.
  • It is critical to catch your readers attention, and it doesn't matter how long the sentence is if you do so. <--- perfect example, length irrelevant.
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    • You said it perfectly. You do whatever works.

      Niches are different, and have different needs; there is no "hard and fast" rule for every situation... just do whatever you need to in order to communicate to your readers that you've got the solution to their specific problem.
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