ANY help whatsoever will be greatly appreciated! Need some extra tips for improving page conversions

Hi Vitaliy,

-Your headline is super weak and vague. When I read it, I thought, "Half of what information?"

-Your copy contains no benefits.

-It's not a good idea to say you've only been in the game for a few months, unless you can position yourself as the "anti-internet marketer." I mean, you kind of go there, but it's not enough to convince people to listen to you.

Say what kind of results you've had and how your methods are different -- and better -- than the normal IMer's.

-Also, the voice over for your video needs to be cleaner.

I too first read the title and thought I don't get it...

The first word of the title is tired and the video makes me feel tired because I don't really know what's going on. Ideally rather than spending time showing me how to use the address bar and type in the website, I would get straight to the point and cover the benefits and what solutions you can solve in order to draw in those sign-ups.

I agree with Nick again about the few months thing, although you could say your doing well and you have only just started... I would still value experience over achieving well in such a little time, because of the massive perception of scams etc or the "pfft yeah right" motive that people might get, so steer clear from the few months experience role in my opinion.


"On this site I’ll be covering all topics of I.M such as:" Unless the title is about a course, I would be a lot more direct and tell them what solutions or benefits people can gain by signing up to your site as opposed to what you have to talk about.


"I don’t care whether you have made millions or you haven’t even made a penny yet," I would probably change this into something like:

"Whether you have been successful with an online business or whether you haven't even made a penny yet"

Personal opinion but I think it's more open and accepting to say this as opposed to "I don't care".


Hope some of this helps Vit!

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I am useless at creating headlines. That is just what I needed!

Ok, here is my humble 2 cents.
1. Who is the audience? The headline should define and speak to them. Is it all internet marketers, or a specific category of marketer?

2. What is their problem? What pain are they trying to avoid? Put the problem in your headline and use your copy to convince them that you are offering the solution to that problem.

3. Your audience does not care about anything but themselves. Remove I, We, and Me from your copy and use You, Your, and You're. It should be all about them and their problem. They want to know that you understand the problem and whether your product offers the solution that they are seeking. Tell them not only that you have the solution, but how it will solve their problem.

Best,
George

Headline helper - from #1 Clickbank copywriter Vin Montello -

http://www.marketingclambake.com/pdfs/Headlibs-vol1.pdf

Don't just copy them - use them as inspiration. Opt-in to Vin's list to get the pdf.

I agree with Nick again about the few months thing, although you could say your doing well and you have only just started... I would still value experience over achieving well in such a little time, because of the massive perception of scams etc or the "pfft yeah right" motive that people might get, so steer clear from the few months experience role in my opinion.

I'd say focus less on the personal touch, its read more like a Bio than a sales piece.