What do you think of my new sales page? FREE EBOOK

12 years ago

Hey there Seph,

Would you buy a non-fiction book (in a very fast moving market) based on the cover, the author telling you it's a "MUST-HAVE", a chapter list, and nothing more?

Could you be sure it was even suitable for your device and operating system?

Thanks
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Andrew Gould

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Build Discipline 12 years ago

Hey Andrew,

Good point.
So I should explain that this is for every iPhone user, whether you have the first version or the lastest iPhone5.
The operating system is iOS 6, unless you're planning to jailbreak your iPhone.

Would that be enough?
I didn't want to get too technical, but I think you're right with the points you made.
- Thanks
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0oo0

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Andrew Gould

Hey there Seph,

Would you buy a non-fiction book (in a very fast moving market) based on the cover, the author telling you it's a "MUST-HAVE", a chapter list, and nothing more?

Could you be sure it was even suitable for your device and operating system?

Do you know how many people DO buy these books and there is a HUGE market for them...

Thanks
1 reply

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Andrew Gould 11 years ago

Originally Posted by 0oo0

Do you know how many people DO buy these books and there is a HUGE market for them...

?

I don't know what this has got to do with what my comment.

The OP asked for feedback on his sales page, I gave him a couple of questions to hopefully make him think about what it was lacking.

Nowhere did I comment on his product or market choice.
- Thanks
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Andrew Gould
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CharismaticMannequin

12 years ago

Hey there!

Thanks for your kind offer, but I unfortunately don't have an iPhone.

As for your copy...one big piece of advice.

Intrigue your customers, by serving up unanswered questions.

Try questions like: "Did you know that you can do X with your iPhone?" "Would you like to find out how to do X with your iPhone?"

I have an iPod touch 3rd Gen, and I actually bought an app on this kind of thing, and those type of questions are exactly what sold me on it. Also things like "Find out how to permanently enable Capital Letters on your iPhone" (little things make the big difference!) .

The little things people don't really know about that will make the iPhone experience faster, easier and cooler. Things they can show their friends and family and say "Hey! Betcha didn't know my iPhone could do THIS!"

Trust me - focus on those little details and intrigue your prospects. They'll lap it up.

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Build Discipline

12 years ago

Originally Posted by CharismaticMannequin

Hey there!

Thanks for your kind offer, but I unfortunately don't have an iPhone.

As for your copy...one big piece of advice.

Intrigue your customers, by serving up unanswered questions.

Try questions like: "Did you know that you can do X with your iPhone?" "Would you like to find out how to do X with your iPhone?"

I have an iPod touch 3rd Gen, and I actually bought an app on this kind of thing, and those type of questions are exactly what sold me on it. Also things like "Find out how to permanently enable Capital Letters on your iPhone" (little things make the big difference!) .

The little things people don't really know about that will make the iPhone experience faster, easier and cooler. Things they can show their friends and family and say "Hey! Betcha didn't know my iPhone could do THIS!"

Trust me - focus on those little details and intrigue your prospects. They'll lap it up.

This was big for me CM, thank you so much!
I changed it completely: The Ultimate iPhone Book | Five Free Apps
Got to admit that I completely forget to entice people, to make them curious.
Instead I threw all my cards face-up on the table.

If you have any more suggestions: I'm all ears.

Thanks again

Thanks

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masterz

12 years ago

these few questions should help:
where is the hook?
why should someone who wants to buy trust you? ie what makes you an expert?
why are you charging the amount you are charging?
add the answers to the above to your salespage
it should help

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Build Discipline

12 years ago

Originally Posted by masterz

these few questions should help:
where is the hook?
why should someone who wants to buy trust you? ie what makes you an expert?
why are you charging the amount you are charging?
add the answers to the above to your salespage
it should help

Thanks for your take on this.
The comparison that I'm making is that people are spending hundreds of dollars on an iPhone...so why not spend $19 on knowing what to do with it?
I think the price sounds fair when you put it like that.

I added a part about 'expert knowledge', which should make it a bit more convincing.

Any other tips?

Thanks

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Mark Andrews

Banned 12 years ago

Originally Posted by Build Discipline

PS: Could anyone write a testimonial for my sales page?

Well done for offering something in change, that's the spirit!

Alas, I don't have an iPhone either so not much use to me.

As regards your P.S. point, only buyers or reviewers of the product in question can provide you with a testimonial. Soliciting for them (fake testimonials for credibility sake) is a big no-no.

Smoking hot,

Mark Andrews

Thanks
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Build Discipline

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Mark Andrews

Well done for offering something in change, that's the spirit!

Alas, I don't have an iPhone either so not much use to me.

As regards your P.S. point, only buyers or reviewers of the product in question can provide you with a testimonial. Soliciting for them (fake testimonials for credibility sake) is a big no-no.

Smoking hot,

Mark Andrews

I offered to send the book...
Of course it wasn't my intention to have someone write a testimonial for the book who hasn't read it.
That never happens:p

Thanks

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KingOfContentMarketing

12 years ago

Sell, it my man! Sell it! Get into it. You wrote the friggin book on it! You are a real dealio EXPERT.

Lure me in with some enticing stuff. How to protect my iPhone against everything? Like what? What should I be afraid of?

What can I get excited about? What will make me gasp? This is one of the most in-demand tech gadgets in history. Romance it!

Give me some nuggets of what's in that book so I gotta have it. Right now!

Maybe some crapola like:

* Five little known ways to extend your battery--WITHOUT a charger! One of these methods could be used in the forest, miles from ANY power.

* How to jailbreak your phone without voiding the warranty. And completely restore it to its original state--undetected!

* The technology that makes sure you never lose your phone again! It called Zomm and warns you immediately if you've left your phone behind by flashing a light on your car keys. Lose your keys? Your iPhone can tell you exactly where they are!

OK, those aren't the best bullets (although Zomm is real haha). But you get the idea. You spent all the time writing the book. Now let's get people lathered up!

(Well, not really lathered like a head full of shampoo in the shower, more like excited and ready to buy. At their computer. At the desk. Not in the shower. Not even near a sink. Or a garden hose.)

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Build Discipline

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Joe Ditzel

Sell, it my man! Sell it! Get into it. You wrote the friggin book on it! You are a real dealio EXPERT.

Lure me in with some enticing stuff. How to protect my iPhone against everything? Like what? What should I be afraid of?

What can I get excited about? What will make me gasp? This is one of the most in-demand tech gadgets in history. Romance it!

Give me some nuggets of what's in that book so I gotta have it. Right now!

Maybe some crapola like:

* Five little known ways to extend your battery--WITHOUT a charger! One of these methods could be used in the forest, miles from ANY power.

* How to jailbreak your phone without voiding the warranty. And completely restore it to its original state--undetected!

* The technology that makes sure you never lose your phone again! It called Zomm and warns you immediately if you've left your phone behind by flashing a light on your car keys. Lose your keys? Your iPhone can tell you exactly where they are!

OK, those aren't the best bullets (although Zomm is real haha). But you get the idea. You spent all the time writing the book. Now let's get people lathered up!

(Well, not really lathered like a head full of shampoo in the shower, more like excited and ready to buy. At their computer. At the desk. Not in the shower. Not even near a sink. Or a garden hose.)

Hi Joe,

Thanks for the expert advice and putting a smile on my face

Please have a look at the sales page again and see whether I've understood what you were saying.

How to Extend Your Battery Life?
WITHOUT A CHARGER! In a forest.
How to Never Lose Signal Again?
Have reception even at you hillbilly grandma.
Unlocking & Jailbreaking Your iPhone
Without voiding the warrenty...
How to Protect Your iPhone against:
Earth, Water, Wind, Fire & Virusses!
and Exclusive Insider Knowledge
that will Astound you and your Friends!

Thanks again.
Any other tips?

Thanks
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KingOfContentMarketing

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Build Discipline

Hi Joe,

Thanks for the expert advice and putting a smile on my face

Please have a look at the sales page again and see whether I've understood what you were saying.

How to Extend Your Battery Life?
WITHOUT A CHARGER! In a forest.
How to Never Lose Signal Again?
Have reception even at you hillbilly grandma.
Unlocking & Jailbreaking Your iPhone
Without voiding the warrenty...
How to Protect Your iPhone against:
Earth, Water, Wind, Fire & Virusses!
and Exclusive Insider Knowledge
that will Astound you and your Friends!

Thanks again.
Any other tips?

Well, I would avoid humor in your copy (hillbilly grandma). I just do it to keep myself entertained on the forum, and sometimes to get a point across. For now I would just list the features of the book, then go back and add benefits to those features. Make it simple like

"Inside you'll discover:

- How to blah blah blah.
- Why this happens and what to do about it.
- Where to go to find 123.
- 5 Ways to abc.
- 2 little known iPhone functions that do xyz."

Mel Martin was one of the best bullet writers of all time. Here is an ad he did for a cookbook. Notice how the bullets don't seem overhyped, but entice you down the page:

http://www.infomarketingblog.com/ima..._Cook_Book.jpg

Here's a simple ad he did for a NYC Bicycling Guide:

http://www.infomarketingblog.com/ima..._Martin_Ad.jpg

Even the paragraphs are made up of bullets strung together.

Simple, right. "How to make it difficult for even the most expert thief to steal your bike." If you've ever had a bike in Manhattan, you would DEFINITELY be interested in that. (Excuse me while I take out a legal pad and make a note: A local bicycling guide would be a great product. Easy to get into local stores, and can get you plenty of media coverage.)

So ask, "What in my book would my readers REALLY want to know about the iPhone?" and then list those items as bullets. Things that make themselves say, "Hey, I want to know more about that."

Now you are seducing. And selling.

You don't need to say, "...will Astound You and Your Friends!"
It sounds hollow.

Just list the powerful, useful information you have in the book without revealing what it is. Get 15 of those down and you'll have much better copy than you have now.

Here is more info on bullets:
http://www.warriorforum.com/copywrit...hese-4-us.html

Here is a quick copy test checklist:
http://perrybelcher.com/21-step-salesletter-formula/
Eight-part copy test
1. Did you grab your readers by the throat your readers with your headline?
2. Did you clearly explain that you understand the problem?
3. Did you show them so much proof that they can’t possibly doubt what
you had to say?
4. Did you show features and benefits to your offer that included the word
so in each line?
5. Did you ensure your prospects that your product will be very very easy
to use?
6. Did you ensure to your prospects that your product would work very
quickly to solve the problem?
7. Did you clearly explain the pain of the experience by not accepting your
offer?
8. Did you demonstrate incredible value in your offer so much so that your
prospect would feel stupid by not buying your product?

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Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
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Build Discipline

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Ken_Caudill

You need an editor --badly. Have it edited and test. Sometimes minimalism sells.

An editor for what exactly? The sales page?
Where can I get one?

Thanks

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masterpaintingnow

12 years ago

Here are some things that work for me, but they might not work for you. All my sales copies have a 3 percent, steady, conversion rate. I'm doing something right.

The iPhone offers Unlimited Possibilities
On which you’re MISSING OUT right now!

Cut the grammatically correct talk. Talk real.

The iPhone offers unlimited possibilities you're missing out on right now.

I would reword the next bullet points to be more about their wants and desires. Extending your battery life without a charger is cool, but can you word it to meet their desires, wants?

A more primal want.

Ever get stuck in the woods and your phone dies? Well no more. Extend that battery life without a charger.

Something like that.

Every in the middle of a text with a hotty and your phone dies? Well no more.

Every on the phone with your husband and the phone dies? I'll show you how to prevent that.

What if you dropped your phone in the sink? I'll teach you how to protect your phone from all damages.

IMO, even for 19.95 you want a longer sales copy. You need to address the buyers concerns. The doubts in their mind that keeps them from buying. Build rapor, etc.

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Build Discipline

12 years ago

Originally Posted by masterpaintingnow

Here are some things that work for me, but they might not work for you. All my sales copies have a 3 percent, steady, conversion rate. I'm doing something right.

Cut the grammatically correct talk. Talk real.

The iPhone offers unlimited possibilities you're missing out on right now.

I would reword the next bullet points to be more about their wants and desires. Extending your battery life without a charger is cool, but can you word it to meet their desires, wants?

A more primal want.

Ever get stuck in the woods and your phone dies? Well no more. Extend that battery life without a charger.

Something like that.

Every in the middle of a text with a hotty and your phone dies? Well no more.

Every on the phone with your husband and the phone dies? I'll show you how to prevent that.

What if you dropped your phone in the sink? I'll teach you how to protect your phone from all damages.

IMO, even for 19.95 you want a longer sales copy. You need to address the buyers concerns. The doubts in their mind that keeps them from buying. Build rapor, etc.

Sounds like you know what you're talking about. 3% is pretty amazing.
Can I see one of your copy's?

Thanks man!

Thanks

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sethczerepak

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Build Discipline

Hey there Warriors,

I just finished my first sales page after having finished my first eBook yesterday.
You can find it here: The Ultimate iPhone Book

Feedback on the sales page, the book cover or anything else is highly appreciated.
Since you guys have always been such a great help to me, I would like to offer this eBook to you for free.
Just send me a PM or post your email address and I'll gladly send it to you.

Thanks guys.

Cheers,
Seph

PS: Could anyone write a testimonial for my sales page?

Everything looks great...except the copy. It needs an overhaul my man. First, it needs to be moved up to where the person can see it without scrolling down. Then, the intro needs to create a "where you are now, where you will be" experience int he person's mind.

For example "Did you know you're MISSING OUT on 40% of the coolest features your iphone has to offer?"

Then, create a list of the most common missing features, and have something like this...

"Imagine being able to..."

Followed by a bulleted list of what they'll learn to do.

Thanks

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TheSalesBooster

12 years ago

It's really bad. Hire a copywriter.

Thanks
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NickN 12 years ago

So many spelling mistakes... yet so little copy.

That gives the impression your e-book contains a bunch of grammatical errors, too.

And this line?

"Have reception even at you hillbilly grandma."

I did laugh at this line... for the wrong reasons.
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Build Discipline

12 years ago

I sincerely appereciate all your advice!
Especially your last reply Joe, has been very helpful to me.
I went through all the resources you sent. I learned a lot.

Since I'm not a native speaker please tell me where I make some grammatical mistakes in my sales copy. It's unprofessional.

This is what I came up with after taking all of your advice under consideration:
The Ultimate iPhone Book | Five Free Apps

Thanks!

Thanks
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TheSalesBooster

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Build Discipline

I sincerely appereciate all your advice!
Especially your last reply Joe, has been very helpful to me.
I went through all the resources you sent. I learned a lot.

Since I'm not a native speaker please tell me where I make some grammatical mistakes in my sales copy. It's unprofessional.

This is what I came up with after taking all of your advice under consideration:
The Ultimate iPhone Book | Five Free Apps

Thanks!

It still sucks. You're not putting in any real effort into making it better. Your just moving things around and throwing in extra text hoping it makes it better.

You're lucky you even got the advice you were given. A month ago these guys would of told you to get a copywriter. Its nice of them to help you by giving you the advice, but its pretty clear you don't know what you're doing. If you want to make money anytime soon with your ebook, hire someone. Otherwise I hope you have a few months to learn the basics of copywriting.

Thanks

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Nauman K

12 years ago

Hey Buddy,
I am not a writer so can't comment on your sales letter, however as A design I would say your ebook cover is very basic.
You need to improve it, try to use soft ecover type, hard cover design will not work with this product.
Also Sales letter design need to be more professional Just suggestion.

Thanks
Nauman K

Thanks

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masterpaintingnow

12 years ago

Build here is my recent copy. How to Draw anything | MasterPaintingNow

Thanks

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What do you think of my new sales page? FREE EBOOK

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