Einstein Copywriting (I just electrocuted myself)

by Mark Andrews Banned
9 replies
Now I'm the first to admit...

...there's a very good reason why I'm not an electrician - merely a humble copywriter.

Do we have any electricians in the house?

For I could do with a spot of advice, if you would be so kind.

So last week I found a stray dog walking on top of the cliffs.

Thankfully, someone nearby, the day before, had lost their dog lead which I picked up and put in the motor home (because well, you never know when a dog lead might come in useful) and truth be told it was a very nice dog lead, so in the van it went.

So this dog, a lovely dog it was too, eventually I caught up with it after it had me running ragged trying to catch up with it as it bounded across the cliffs. Attached the lead to her collar and promptly walked back to my motor home a mile or so away.

After two hours eventually found the owners farmhouse and returned the dog to them for which they were most thankful and offered me a free pitch for the night on their campsite should I need it anytime in the near future. Normal cost £11 ($17.62) including electric hookup.

Been a bit cloudy lately, so decided to take them up on the offer this afternoon for tonight to recharge at least one of my bank of 12v batteries which I rely on to power the laptop via a pure sine wave inverter.

Now, here I am and a wonderfully quirky campsite it is too, down on The Lizard.

Palm trees all around me, all I need now is a beautiful woman in a grass skirt and I'm all made for the night. Red haired Kate from The Lizard Lighthouse might have to do instead (Charlie Dimmock lookalike). Though I hear she has a bit of a fiery spirit in her belly - nothing that I can't handle of course.

So I pitch up for the night and go to plug in my electric hookup cable into their electricity supply. Buggers! The connection on the plug end is the wrong one, in other words it's gay not straight, if you get my drift. No? Well male to male connection plugs don't fit, let's just put it that way shall we?

Never mind I think to myself, I'll unplug it again and cut the cable to expose the wires and do the same on the plug connector the other end.

Gaffa tape the 3x wires together separately, colour coded of course, then gaffa tape the whole lot into a firm wedge.

Go back and plug the other end in to the main supply, so far so good. Walk back round to the van and daft old me, what do I do but grab hold of the plug pin side up.

Now, if I had hair like my good friend Einstein, well the picture below looked just like me 10 minutes ago.


Sh!t man! 240 volts of live current shot through my body making me leap about 6' off the ground.

Hmmm, maybe not such a good idea.

Unplugged a second time round and plopped the plug into an electrical four socket bar, unplugged the inverter and gaffa taped up the 3 pins separately, went back, plugged it in again to the main supply - voila! Electricity is working.

Now powering the laptop, a 12v battery on charge, LED lights, the other plug (well and truly gaffa taped up) in the 4th socket giving 'lekky' to the other 3 plug sockets.

Long story short, would anyone know please if this represents a fire risk?

Smoking hot,

Mark Andrews

#copywriting #einstein #einstein copywriting #electrocuted #electrocution
  • Profile picture of the author Marvin Johnston
    Is that copy the new pitch for hiring an electrician, 'cause I think it might work LOL.

    I do what you did ... well not with the added bonus of trying to kill myself ... and it works on a temporary basis if there is no moisture involved or anything to physically pull the connection apart.

    I wish I could write this up like a friend of mine did, but the basic story line was a line crew was doing some wiring in his neighborhood when he lived in India. After digging a four foot trench and using electrical tape to insulate the connections, they dropped it in the trench and filled it in.

    The next day it rained. A few hours later the power went out.

    A call to the power company got the response they can't fix it for several days.

    A generator to supply power was obtained and put in the (very narrow) street thus blocking traffic.

    The next day, the connection was repaired.

    Ah, the stories he related about life there .

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  • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
    This scared the crap out of me. If there is something I fear more than heights, its wires. On saturday, I was helping my brother blow insulation in his attic.

    Well. The tube I was blowing from hit a wire on the ceiling. The staple came out, wire fell off and swung right at me. Even though it was sealed in rubber, I retracted my body so fast I slipped off the ladder and fell on my ass. Had I landed just a few inches to the left, I would have certainly cracked the sheetrock cieling.

    I HATE ELECTRICITY. It scares the bejesus out of me.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    I just wish a good jolt of electricity can grow hair...

    ...not just fro what ya got!


    You're in the flow my man!

    Keep 'em coming!
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
      Aye, I'm spitting fire lately. On the quiet. And I'm just warming up too.

      Can feel the energy inside me stirring. It's agitated. In a good way. Explosive even.

      Thanks for recognizing this Mark. You've seen it. A part of it in action. Like a volcano waiting to explode.

      Just wait until I do explode into words and they'll be no stopping me. I've sat on this energy patiently for decades, soon it will be time...

      ...time for release.

      And all fury will be let loose.

      Smoking hot,

      Mark Andrews
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  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    There you go Mark, that's some good writing.

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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
      Originally Posted by max5ty View Post

      There you go Mark, that's some good writing.

      I don't need you to tell me what's good writing.

      I know what is good writing ya ruddy great goofball.

      What do you take me for... a bleedin' idiot? :rolleyes:

      Good grief man, you're something else.

      Good Gog! I hope I meet up with you one day.

      Smoking hot,

      Mark Andrews
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  • Profile picture of the author Paul Hancox
    I'm not sure about all this electricity thing...but if Red haired Kate comes available any time soon, let me know.

    Though I hear she has a bit of a fiery spirit in her belly
    Wait a minute... is that a euphemism for "alcoholic"?
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
      Originally Posted by Paul Hancox View Post

      I'm not sure about all this electricity thing...but if Red haired Kate comes available any time soon, let me know.

      Wait a minute... is that a euphemism for "alcoholic"?
      Well, she did appear at the sliding side door in the dead of night, well 7pm lol with the light from the lighthouse behind her, it's light making her red hair look rather electric.

      Like a mad eccentric witch from times gone by, at first glance I thought she might be a long time ago ship wrecked sailor from the 1700's come back to haunt me. (Chance would be a fine thing).

      Glass of red wine in hand, smoking a roly she asked me, "Are you Dennis?"

      "Errr no." I replied sitting in the van on my bed, laptop on my lap writing at 90mph.

      "You look just like Dennis." She says.

      "Oh?" Says I looking up from the keyboard inquisitively.

      "Dennis, he has a green van just like yours." She goes.

      "Really?" Says I. "You sound a little bit angsty with him?"

      "Hmmm I am, furious actually, I was going to tear him off a strip."

      "Pray may I inquire why? Actually, never mind, who the blazing dickens are you anyway?" With a twinkle in my eye.

      "Oh, I'm Kate, I live in the lighthouse. Penis Cottage."

      "Pardon?!" lol

      "Pennance Cottage."

      "Hmmm, I see, well jolly good meeting you, I'm Mark blah blah blah."

      Now afterwards, I wasn't quite sure about it. Was this some very strange come on line, a chat up line I've not heard before? Dennis Penis? Pennance Cottage?

      Hmmmm... what do you reckon Paul?

      'Course, if she sees this post, she's going to kill me anyway lol. Mind you, I wouldn't mind a good spanking from her - could be rather good fun. Kinky goings on at the Lizard Lighthouse. If you ever see the light flashing red... you'll know what's going on. If the lighthouse a rockin' don't come a knockin'! Puts a new meaning on Cornish knockers.

      She's definitely going to have my guts for garters now.

      Smoking hot,

      Mark Andrews
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