What do you think about my sales copy?

12 replies
I just found this forum and I am very glad that I did, it looks like to be the most useful forum I have registered to. So, I have had the website for my first business which will be in writing different kinds of content for a while now, but didn't do much work over it and few days ago I wrote the sales copy. Can you let me know what do you think about it? The link to my website is Article Writing Service, Content Writing Service, Press Release Writing
Sorry if this is the wrong section for this. Thanks!
#copy #sales
  • Profile picture of the author daddykool
    Welcome to the WF Dimitar!

    Nice to have some new members who are keen to learn and be advised on their new ventures!

    If you DO post in the wrong section, you will be informed, just remember that you cannot sell or provide a direct link to sell any service, product or otherwise in your posts, then you will be fine!

    Have a REALLY good look and read for a few weeks and you will be amazed at what you can learn here.

    As for your sales copy, a tad dull, jizz it up with some bolder fonts and colors, make it feel like your visitors need to know more!
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  • Profile picture of the author StefanPaulGeorgi
    I'll second what the previous person said both in terms of jazzing up your site, and in a big welcome to WF.

    I would work on making it easier to read/more reader friendly. Throwing some bullet points in would be a nice touch, and some headers to break up the sections. In general, you want to make the copy good for scanners, so that they can spend a few seconds, and know what you offer and why it's a tremendous benefit to them.

    - Stefan
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  • Profile picture of the author ThomasOMalley
    I think your site needs some serious work...too little info. and no sales power. Get a copy of Dan Furman's book, Do the Web Write. It's an excellent resource on how to write copy for a services website.

    Best,

    Thomas O'Malley
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  • Profile picture of the author The Dead Guy
    I would also take a look at your order page. It seems a little confusing and the pricing doesn't seem consistent.

    3 articles (300 words each) = $30
    5 articles (500 words) = $50
    7 articles (700 words) = $100

    It doesn't look like there is any incentive for the 7 article package. You can double up on the 5 articles for the same price as 7 articles.

    Also, are those total words or words per article? Either way, it doesn't seem to make sense.
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  • Profile picture of the author asha91
    On your main page, there are several errors, and as you are a content writing service, this should be avoided. I'll point out a few here.

    - What we attempt to offer you is a service, that is tailored for your website needs...(remove comma)
    - If you happen to want a content writing service that is not listed (seems a little odd, why not change it to "a certain type of content"?"
    - If you happen to want a content writing service that is not listed, you CAN always contact us to discuss your needs. (you missed the word "can")
    - it will be checked and edited, if necessary, (putting a comma here sort of means if will both be checked when necessary and edited when necessary. Obviously you have to check all the time, and not just when necessary )

    On your Order page:

    -3 Unique Article @30 USD (Articles!)
    - a customized Service (no "a", and I feel service is best replaced with "content")

    Also, I agree your main page is a little dull, and chances are most people won't read it through. Try and make it sound more interesting

    I hope these pointers helped... Good luck!
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  • Profile picture of the author margaritovbg
    Thanks, all! Will do some work on that and post again soon
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  • Profile picture of the author Ray Wilson
    First, I would get a better template. The stock photos are usually horrible. If you don't want a basic long form sales letter design, then you absolutely have to spend more time searching for a better template.

    Then, there is the other side, which deals with words. Only after you have the design, you can play with words. But make it interesting. Right now, it looks like a sample, downloaded template. Dull, doesn't grab attention and shows no sign of its basic purpose even. Get specific, what do you want your customers to do?

    -Ray Wilson
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  • Profile picture of the author mariabogarthy
    Hi, I took a look at your site. Why not set it up to have individual articles for sale?
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  • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
    I own a content marketing firm so I can tell you exactly why this isn't going to convert.

    1) Flash banner is distracting
    2) No niche. If you want higher paying clients, you need to pick a niche to specialize in, no exceptions.
    3) The site has no personality or unique brand, sounds generic.
    4) The writing is horrible. Sorry, but it's the truth. Clunky, wordy, unclear in places and sounds like it might have been written by a "semi-English" speaker.

    You need to hire a real writer to take care of this...which kind of makes me wonder why you're selling writing services in the first place.
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  • Profile picture of the author Austin80ss
    There are big problems with updates of content, i won't buy from this copy(
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  • Profile picture of the author margaritovbg
    I made some updates on the index page and the pricing, and removed the images until I find more suitable ones.

    sethczerepak, thanks for the post. I was looking at different websites on flippa with easy enough business model for a first business experiment. The websites which I saw there didnt have a niche either. What I was thinking of is the following: a customer comes to the website, orders the package wanted and gives the order details via paypal. Then I go to the freelance websites and find freelance with good rating and paying them 50% of the package value after the order is complete. The other half is for me. Then I send back the complete articles to the customer. Also, you are right, I am not native english speaker, but I have about 6 years of speaking and writing english almost daily in the UK, maybe the creative writing field is not for me.
    As for the website design, I paid about 200$ for it, was it too much? I will also update the order page with the new stuff, I go to lectures now. Thanks again for all your posts, they are very helpful.
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    • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
      Originally Posted by margaritovbg View Post

      I made some updates on the index page and the pricing, and removed the images until I find more suitable ones.

      sethczerepak, thanks for the post. I was looking at different websites on flippa with easy enough business model for a first business experiment. The websites which I saw there didnt have a niche either.
      And that means what exactly? That not having a niche is okay? I'd be careful about judging the success of a site that's trying to sell on flippa...why are they selling it in the first place? Probably someone trying out the website flipping niche who knows exactly squat about the copywriting business.

      Originally Posted by margaritovbg View Post

      What I was thinking of is the following: a customer comes to the website, orders the package wanted and gives the order details via paypal. Then I go to the freelance websites and find freelance with good rating and paying them 50% of the package value after the order is complete. The other half is for me.
      First off, that's a bad idea. You're basically talking about a content outsourcing mill instead of a quality content writing business. It's VERY easy to hire a poor writer on those sites, especially at the prices you're suggesting. What happens if you miss the mark on your hire? You then miss the customer deadline or get crap back and your reputation is ruined.

      You need to start by writing yourself and build a solid team who you know you can depend on to deliver quality work on time. Of course, if you're only mediocre at writing English (and based on what I just read, sorry but you've got a long way to go), how are you going to know a good writer when you see one?

      Originally Posted by margaritovbg View Post

      As for the website design, I paid about 200$ for it, was it too much? I will also update the order page with the new stuff, I go to lectures now. Thanks again for all your posts, they are very helpful.
      Price is irrelevant, what IS relevant are results. Is it making you money? A site you pay $200 that makes you zero dollars is a waste. A site you pay $200,000 for that makes you millions is a good investment.

      I'm really curious as to why you're in this niche at all. It's an uphill battle for a non-native English speaker. Who cares how long you've been doing it, the results (the writing) speaks for itself.

      Listen, not trying to be mean but you should pick a niche you're strong in if you want to succeed. This niche is already crammed with people who don't belong there and you're facing an uphill battle. For God's sake, pick something that you're:

      1) Passionate about
      2) VERY good at
      3) People will pay for

      Stop thinking about the money, just do these three things ^ and don't give up and you'll succeed.
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