What do you think of this sales page?

13 replies
Created this splash page and would like to get any and all feedback on it:

http://www.truth-about-antioxidants....herbal-secrets

This is a revision.

Thanks.
#page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    1. Your "big idea" that prescription drugs eliminate the symptoms, while herbal cures eliminate the disease is a good one.

    However, all the work your copy does to establish that idea is undone with this statement,
    But thanks to a few physicians who understood the benefits of using herbal remedies they've been able to help patients control their psoriasis.
    Doesn't sound like a cure to me.

    2. I don't see any differentiation in the headline. There's tons of books on the subject of herbal remedies. What makes yours any different?

    Perhaps if you used "Newest" instead of "Best" in the headline, that would help some.

    3. I found the copy difficult to read. The font is too small, and you could use more subheads to break up the text.

    Alex
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7296764].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Ray Wilson
    Headers usually decrease the conversion rate. But you have to test this. The reason is, again, they distract the eyes away from the headline - which you want them to read first.

    Also, you can add a pre-headline and sub-headlines, and tweak the headline a bit.

    Why did you make the width of the page so large? To make it look expensive, as Kennedy does it? In my opinion, it makes it harder to read. And you're selling only an ebook.

    -Ray Wilson
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7297957].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    A "folksy" book of home remedies and herbal secrets should look "folksy" not like an I.M. pitch. The headline is a dud. There's no "hook". The page is laid out like a typical Clickwank scam product.

    You ask
    Wouldn’t You Like To Know The Key To Unlock The Secrets To Cure Even The Most Troublesome Symptoms – All In A Single Source?

    No. I'd run a mile. And those crappy-looking "Bonuses" would do nothing to change my mind.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7298189].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    i'd say this page is really 'off'
    Signature

    “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7298574].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Martinsee
    Color is not suitable.
    Try this : Blue -> white -> Deep Read -> Grey
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7298585].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author OliverRealize
    Overall I like the sales page. I however don't like all the Big Red Text it screams scam site. Try adding some motion to your buy links to make them stand out. You've got a lot of really great content and information it just needs a little life.
    Signature

    Oliver
    Realize Internet Marketing
    San Diego SEO Company

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7302423].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author asha91
    I feel you should get a better background color, instead of pure white (always thought white looked very textbook and boring). Or maybe the border should have a floral design or a design with kitchen spices on it. This adds to the feel of "herbal"ness.

    Also, I feel you are repeating too much about how prescription medication is evil, and not how herbal remedies help. Talking about a few studies which showed the effectiveness of herbal remedies may help may help convince the buyer further. I know you are going for the whole "bigger picture" thing, but people still trust science more than some unproven nonsense, especially in first world countries. So when in Rome... you know.

    Hope this helped. Good luck
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7302964].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ThomasOMalley
    You have the basics of a good salesletter.

    However, your headline is weak...you must write a number of stronger headlines and test them.

    Your subheading, A Quick Story I Must Share With You, provides no benefit to the reader. It should be a subheading with a benefit.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7303576].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Innovator3
    I don't think I can change the gray sides to a prettier, more herbal-y as asha91 suggested. And I updated the copy with some studies included.

    Here is the updated version:
    http://truth-about-antioxidants.com/...erbal-secrets/

    Next I'm thinking about changing the headline.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7312184].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
    I think the biggest issue with the site is the headline and subhead are pretty vague and non-descript.

    Most people, when suffering an ailment or illness, go to Google and type in that specific ailment. In other words... they are looking for solutions to a specific issue, not a general, blanket, one-size-fits-all cure for everything.

    Again, that's just too vague.

    Guys like Kevin Trudeau can make it work because they have million dollar ad budgets to saturate the airwaves... getting their message across in large numbers.

    I think what I would do in this case is use more of an "umbrella headline" or multiple benefit headline which then gives a few specifics you can help with.

    For example, even if you decided to keep your headline.... you could then immediately offer some specific benefits right below it, to catch the eye of those who are looking for SPECIFICS.

    So....

    "Finally Revealed, The Newest Home And Herbal Remedies
    Proven To Cure Even The Toughest Illnesses"

    ** Below... you'll find answers to cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, and more!

    ** Find out the single biggest way to prevent heart disease... and all it takes is a little-known ingredient that costs a penny a day!

    ** Stop joint discomfort in one easy step with a proven all natural ingredient that's sitting right in your kitchen!

    ---------------------------------------

    Anyways, this is just an example... but notice how you can take a vague and general headline... and make it more specific by immediately adding some bullet points right below to address specific conditions.

    So maybe you'll want to take the 3 or 4 biggest conditions you can help with, and weave them either into your headline or right below in the subhead, to catch those folks who are looking for specific remedies for specific ailments.

    Right now, you're just too vague to really catch the attention of EACH person who is dealing with a specific ailment.

    It's the difference between yelling "Hey John Smith" in a crowded room and yelling "Hey everyone"

    Also, maybe test out a headline that plays the "us against the medical establishment" card that works well.

    "Finally Revealed, The Newest Home And Herbal Remedies
    The Medical Establishment Will NEVER Give You (or They'd
    Lose 95% of their Patients!)

    Again.... just an example off the top of my head, but maybe
    play that slant a bit more...

    Hope this helps.

    S.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7314689].message }}

Trending Topics