Suggestions incorporated, still not there...

Hi David,

A quick glance has shown me that what you have buried below the fold
here==>
Do you want your company to rank #1 in Maryland? Want to be in the top ten?

Should be the first things your local visitors see...

ABOVE the FOLD

Making that one small change will get more attention which
means more of your visitors will read your offer of what you
can do for them which translates into more visitors
taking you up on your offer because they got to see
the benefits as soon as you grabbed their attention
with the headline.

The only other thing I would suggest to test at this point
would be to add the extra letter "g" to the braging rights.

Aside from that, I believe you're on the right track,

but make sure you put your killer headline above the fold

where it can actually work for you.

I guarantee you'll increase your sales once you do.

Keep us updated. :-)

Doug

Hi David,

Write a personal, one on one letter to your ideal client. The exact words don't matter, I'm just giving you something to think about.

"Dear Maryland small business owner,"

Tell them what you will do for them - the benefit, not the feature.

"If your business doesn't yet have an ongoing flow of customers - forever and for free - from Google, then you are missing out on the greatest marketing revolution of a lifetime."

Give some examples of how many more customers, how much % increase in sales, the % increase in # of client inquiries, etc., some Maryland businesses got from using Google.

Then point out the problem: just making a website isn't enough. You also need to do a very specialized type of promotion of that website, called Search Engine Optimization.

Introduce yourself and explain that the results you mentioned above came from your SEO work for Maryland businesses.

Then have the testimonials.

Mention that not all businesses are guaranteed success from SEO - just as not all businesses can assume they'll get lots of sales calls just because they have a telephone. Or whatever better analogy you can come up with.

However, most businesses can benefit greatly from SEO. And for only $150, you can help business owners learn about SEO and get a custom report of the potential that SEO offers to them. Depending on the company's needs, implementing SEO costs... not $100 per month, but a single flat fee of no more than $700... and in some cases, even less than that.

[Don't include the details of your features and pricing at this point. What you should sell is your expertise, and an initial consultation. I think you'd be better off doing the initial consultation for free.]

For a graphics & layout model, consider this site: AtlasPROfilax. Change from their one-time medical intervention to your one-time Internet intervention.

How about offering an autoresponder for a free ebook from David about how SEO works, then a 5 part series of messages outlining the steps necessary, then a monthly newsletter with both tips and pitches... until eventually, some subscribers realize that there is a boatload of stuff to do and they might as well hire the expert to do it for them!

Question: Why limit yourself to SEO for Maryland? Do you really need to drive out to clients and chat with them in person?

Regards,
Allen

I would move all the contact info at the top to the bottom - make your headline the first thing they see. Center it. Grab their attention and don't let go.

On the pricing - are you trying to get them to sign up for 6 months at a time?