Copywriters in Training - How would you sell this?

by Mark Andrews Banned
21 replies
Want to learn copywriting?

Here's a little exercise for you new copywriters...

Sell this down below...


*


Look at it.

What is it?

What does it do?

What are it's benefits?

How can this make your life better?

Now pitch us...

...and we'll collectively critique your work to make your copy stronger.

So who wants to go first?

Only one who risks is free to be.

Smoking hot,


Mark Andrews
#copy cub #copywriters #copywriting coach #copywriting coaching #copywriting mentor #copywriting training #sell #training
  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    I can't write a full sales letter...

    ...but how about a Bob Marley lyric for the headline:

    "The stone that the builder refused
    will always be the head cornerstone."
    Signature

    Do You Want To Make 5 and 6-Figures A Month As A Freelance Copywriter? My Copywriting System Has Made Over 600 Million Dollars. Discover More

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7414642].message }}
  • {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7414680].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
      Banned
      That's exactly what I'm talking about Rezbi and thank you. Sincerely. For posting up this link to this Youtube video. Fantastic stuff. You got it in 1.

      For this, despite everything - I love you to bits. You're one in a million. I respect you massively. (Even if at times you do drive me up the bloody wall).


      Not that I'd actually come across this video before. Nor heard of the single red brick story line. It is what it is. My loss. Hmmm.


      To the point of this thread...


      Newbies... you all need some copywriting coaching and since today, the 1st day of winter - today the 1st of December 2012 -- I'm now 46 years old, I thought I'd extend a gift to you. A little present if you will.


      For as one gets older and hopefully somewhat a little wiser, in this case, lil ole moi, I wanted to give to all of you a gift. A
      free gift. No catches. No holds barred.

      A chance to write your very own sales letter to sell a concrete block. Generous aren't I? (You can thank me later).


      Yes, I know the product may seem boring. Pointless even. However...


      ...there a reason behind my eccentric 'madness'.


      You see, when you write copy, it's important for you to get into the
      story of the product on offer. And I mean...

      ...
      really get inside it.

      To extract from it the
      best benefits you can uncover.

      For in this way, you highlight and instantly transfer your creative thought processes into a one and only magical chance to connect your wording, your salesmanship with your clients intended target market. Exciting stuff huh?


      Would you believe it? All from a 'boring' lump of concrete.


      Let's drill down...


      So how about I start your sales letter off for you?


      Lead from the front even...


      By example.


      For better or for worse. (Max5ty shut it lol).


      Okay, so what do I have here?


      A block of concrete. Hmmmm...


      "What are
      YOU block of concrete?"

      Here, I enter into a
      conversation with the product in question...

      ...in this case a block of concrete.


      Yes as insane as it sounds, I'm now talking to the product in question. I'm in conversation with it. The block of concrete pictured above.


      I poke it. It doesn't respond. Git!


      I walk around it.


      I measure it.


      I ponder.


      I incubate...


      I process data.


      "I like you piece of concrete." I say to it, " I respect you."


      It opens up. As only a concrete block can.


      "I am that which your dreams are made of," it replies.


      "I know." Say's I, "thank you."


      So let me start you off...


      I start off and you newbies, you contribute. You start off where I finish okay? Got it? Good.


      Let's get started. I know one or two other copywriters here, who upon being in the game for a good while, will be more than happy to help you, just as I want to help you now.


      In other words,
      take advantage of this thread.

      Why?


      Because I'm weaving a little copywriting exercise for you.


      Unusual? Yes.


      Thinking well outside the box? Most definitely.


      For your benefit I might add.


      Mark Pescetti, Arfa Saira, Mike Humphreys, Vin Montello, Rick Duris, Daniel Scott, Malcolm Lambe, Scott Bowring, Gordon Alexander, Harlan Kilstein, Scott Murdaugh, Andrew Gould, Thomas O'Malley, Steve Hill, Collette, John_S, Dean Dhulli, Steve The Copywriter, Rezbi, Ewen, and anyone else I've left out...

      ...you guys of whom I'm in constant awe, amongst others, please
      do contribute.

      You know I welcome your personal insights.


      FAO newbies...


      I may be just a humble concrete block to you but I bet...

      "I am that which your dreams are made of...

      ...believe it or not."


      You see...

      ...I maybe just be a simple concrete block to the average eye. Please, don't be mad at me.

      For I am all which you ultimately desire.

      Place me alongside, on top of, below of, a part of a greater whole...

      ...than the sum of my parts and I...

      I - I will will help to make all your dreams come true.

      For between our walls... I'll help you to feel safe, warm, and secure. Free. Forever.

      There are many benefits to being a humble concrete block.

      For within my walls you will find...

      ...total happiness. Contentment. Fulfillment. Satisfaction at reaching the pinnacle of your dreams.

      A base...

      ...a home... to call your own.

      For 100 years or more...

      I will look after you. And your children. And your children's children. I'll keep you safe. Feeling secure.

      I may be a boring shade of gray yes...

      ...but within my walls, I will will fill your life with more happiness and color than you can possibly imagine.

      A humble lump of concrete I may be but...

      ...what I can do for you, if you'd just buy into me...

      I'll make all your dreams come true.

      When you drink wine...

      When in bed, tucked up cosy and warm...

      When you lie down next to her...

      When you look adoringly into her eyes...

      When you cuddle her, cherish her, kiss her and ultimately...

      Make love to her. Beautiful huh?

      Remember this...

      ...it's within my walls, this one simple hunk of concrete which will make it all happen for you.

      "I am stories untold.

      What's your story?"

      So now...

      ...how would you position this lump of concrete?

      Or...

      ...feel welcome to add your own storyline.

      Now pitch us!...

      Smoking hot,


      Mark Andrews


      P.S. Over to you guys...

      ...what have you got?
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7415704].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
        Originally Posted by Mark Andrews View Post

        today the 1st of December 2012 -- I'm now 46 years old
        Happy Birthday, old geezer.

        I turn 43 in February...

        We're both half past maximum shelf life.

        Brian
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7415818].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
        Too hard to resist Mr Andrews!

        ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
        Ladies and Gentlemen,

        I offer for auction this piece of Rock N' Roll history today.

        For Pink Floyd fans and memorabilia collectors,
        this is worthy of your full and undivided attention.

        On January the 11th 1979 the stage was set for what has become known
        as Pink Floyd's The Wall album and the single, A Brick In The Wall.

        There were 54 bricks used to build the wall which became the
        cover photo on all the albums and singles.

        53 were dumped after the photo shoot, 1 saved by a stage hand by the name
        Mark Andrews.

        Fortunately for you he had the foresight to keep one and have
        all the band members on that day autograph it. Roger Waters, David Gilmour,
        Nick Mason and Richard Wright.

        You'll find their names on the back and underneath.

        With the passing of Mark Andrews, his Estate have given us instructions to dispose
        of this rare piece of history.

        Comes with certificate of authenticity of the signature date.

        Floyds of London
        Fine arts auction house
        -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        There ya go.

        Best,
        Ewen
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7415822].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author copyassassin
          Multi Use Stone:
          You Can Drop it on Your Monster-in-Law
          (and then use it as her headstone)



          Signature

          The Most Bad-Ass Tax Reduction Strategist for Internet Marketers who HATE paying taxes. See my happy clients

          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7415866].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
            Having in-law problems are we Adam?

            Best,
            Ewen

            Originally Posted by copyassassin View Post

            Multi Use Stone:
            You Can Drop it on Your Monster-in-Law
            (and then use it as her headstone)



            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7415870].message }}
            • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
              Banned
              Fcukin' A!

              Keep em comin'...

              You make me smile!

              Smokin' hot,


              Mark Andrews
              {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7415937].message }}
            • Profile picture of the author copyassassin
              Originally Posted by ewenmack View Post

              Having in-law problems are we Adam?

              Best,
              Ewen
              Ewen,

              Actually, I really love my in-laws.

              It's my wife who has issues with my mom.

              Adam

              p.s. no amount of money, conversions, of whatever magically heals family issues. gotta love life.
              Signature

              The Most Bad-Ass Tax Reduction Strategist for Internet Marketers who HATE paying taxes. See my happy clients

              {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7418843].message }}
              • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
                Just joking Adam.

                Best,
                Ewen

                Originally Posted by copyassassin View Post

                Ewen,

                Actually, I really love my in-laws.

                It's my wife who has issues with my mom.

                Adam

                p.s. no amount of money, conversions, of whatever magically heals family issues. gotta love life.
                {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7418872].message }}
                • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
                  Here's an idea...

                  Send the brick and the ad which sells it,
                  to potential clients, with a note saying...

                  "If I can sell this brick, then selling what
                  you've got is going to be easy."

                  Best,
                  Ewen
                  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7419012].message }}
                  • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
                    Banned
                    Funny thing is, I can't even recall posting this up last night lol.

                    That's what you get when you drink two bottles of 13.5% red wine on your birthday. Just woken up after sleeping solid for 18 hours straight through. Not a bad post since I was completely smashed when I wrote it out.

                    Thanks for all the contributions, keep 'em coming and I'll stay true to my word, give you a hand where I can.

                    Cheers!

                    Smoking hot,


                    Mark Andrews
                    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7419430].message }}
  • {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7415796].message }}
  • Now introduce us to Ross' brother Scott. jk Happy Birthday, Mark!

    Originally Posted by Mark Andrews View Post



    Mark Pescetti, Arfa Saira, Mike Humphreys, Vin Montello, Daniel Scott, Malcolm Lambe, Scott Bowring, Gordon Alexander, Harlan Kilstein, Scott Murdaugh, Andrew Gould, Thomas O'Malley, Steve Hill, Collette, John_S, Dean Dhulli, Steve The Copywriter, Rezbi, Ewen, and anyone else I've left out...


    Signature
    Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
    - Jack Trout
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7416070].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author arfasaira

    Attention Property Geeks, Interior Designers And Home Lovers In Need Of Fresh Ideas!

    Discover The Fastest, Easiest Way To Update Your Home Decor Instantly WITHOUT Spending A Fortune!


    Learn how the humble concrete block can easily double as a cool bed base, table base, planter or anything else you can imagine!



    Unconventional Uses: Concrete Blocks as a Bed Base | Care2 Healthy Living
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7416837].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author BrainCopy
    Wow this really inspired me. Great idea!
    and Happy Birthday.

    I'm actually going to get started on writing
    this.

    Best Regards,
    Anthony La Tour
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7416949].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author max5ty


    Thought I'd think "outside the box" and use the brick as a free bonus to sell a booklet
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7417191].message }}
  • {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7417278].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Rezbi
      *
      Brick



      M16

      If you truly believe they're the same, buy the brick and save a ton of cash.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7417902].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Originally Posted by Mark Andrews View Post

    Copywriters in Training - How would you sell this?
    We could sell it as a pet brick.

    Worked 37 years ago for the pet rock. Who knows... lightning might strike in the same place twice.

    Nah...

    Maybe we could imprint the brick with the Transylvania coat of arms, call it a Vampire Brick, and claim it was taken from Dracula's tomb.

    Nah...

    Alex
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7420453].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    Happy Birthday Mark. Mine is in 7 days and I will be 49 so a tad older than you.
    I love the idea of this challenge and will put on my thinking cap (after I plug it in of course) and will soon post something that hopefully will spark some sort of humour or life into the thread.
    Signature

    Cheers, Laurence. Writer/Editor/Proofreader.
    Visit my site for more info

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7421018].message }}

Trending Topics