Help please (a critique needed)

by 15 replies
18
Hi guys,

I'm new to the forum and I would like to get my homepage reviewed by seasoned copywriters.

We have conversion rate of 20%+ on our AdWords campaign (I am relatively good with AdWords) but I would like to hear an expert opinion on what can be improved in terms of copy and call-to-action.

The page is here: www.webiny.com

Thanks!
#copywriting #critique #needed
  • Who are your target prospects? What are they searching for?

    The first thing I see when I visit your page is a general offer for a free website.

    There's nothing specific about why I should use your service to build a free website...Nothing that tells me anything special or unique about your business.

    And there's a disconnect, because you list several corporate clients that are using your product...But my first thought was..."Well, Bayer sure doesn't use 'free website' services, do they?" How are your services being used by these larger clients to solve their problems?

    It wasn't until I clicked around your website that I saw other potentially valuable services that may be of interest to me as a business owner...things like your booking service, your email marketing, your banner management services...

    All of these things may be of valuable use to your prospects, if you're driving hot traffic from AdWords for specific services...But then when they arrive at your website...it looks like you're just offering a free website.

    If you can be more specific about the traffic you are targeting, then we can all help a bit more in tailoring your message towards the results you are looking for.
  • ...Yes as Jeremey said there is a bit of a "disconnect."

    Powerful headline - Perfect free website - which is good.

    Then - Extra's and costs to make it perfect - which is not so good.

    The audience (i.e. me) isn't quite sure what's happening.

    I would rather it said - Free Website - plus if you want have (this that and the other) to make it even more powerful.

    Always try to be clear and transparent so there is absolutely no confusion.


    Steve
  • Jeremy, Steve,

    Thanks a lot.

    So I am thinking of changing a copy a bit:

    > Headline stays (it's the claim)
    > With Webiny you will be able to (or: With Webiny you will get to --->and repeat the bullet points

    Who uses Webiny?
    > Even these big companies use Webiny to build their website
    > If it's good for them, it will be good for you (plus the basic service is free!)

    You will love Webiny's features that come out-of-the-box:
    > Repeat

    I'm not sure for the lower part?

    Our goal is to build a bigger marketplace for web services using our technology, but our go-to market strategy is to acquire free users (and upsell a %) and then contact designers and developers to service those clients (this is a context of the website). We're just re-launched (3 weeks) and already have 1200 free users.

    Your comments were very helpful and if there's anything else you'd like to add, I would be grateful.

    Thanks
    • [1] reply
    • I'm still not understanding your business model.

      Who is your target customer? And what services are you offering to them?

      Where is your traffic being generated from?

      I don't think anyone can help you without understanding who or what it is you are trying to sell...Did those big corporate companies hire you to build their website?

      Is that the same service you are offering for free?

      Where do the "designers and developers" you mention above come into the business model?

      Sorry for all the questions...and if I'm missing something painfully obvious, my apologies
      • [1] reply
  • Hi Jeremy, you are not.

    This is the obvious problem since our business model is "two-sided" market - similar to Google - they offer search for free, but charge b2b for advertising.

    Our market model is similar:
    - build large enough audience for free services, upsell few with paid packages
    - tell to designers that we have 1m users
    - tell to designers to build templates for those users and use marketplace to offer custom designs etc

    At this moment we are just building an user base - so we focus on them. In phase 2 we will introduce a service for designers.

    We did these clients sites while we were developing the technology that will enable us to scale without problems.

    Hope I have answered your questions. SO the main goal (at the moment) is to get as many users as possible with lowest acquisition cost possible

    Underlying technology is great, we are able to scale the service as much as we want without high costs due to specifically developed PHP framework.

    Thanks for the comment.
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
  • I recall vaguely there was a split test done on another free website builder.
    The test was done by Marketing Experiments...you would benefit searching there,
    and the winning headline, again I think, was...

    Get Your Business Online For Free

    Now where you will lose the reader is what to do next.

    I just see the Facebook button.

    The call to action at the bottom of that panel needs to be clearer,
    both in words and a big orange or blue button.

    Would look at split testing Start Here

    Those 2 points jumped out to me.

    Didn't read the bullet points,
    for improvement.

    Best,
    Ewen
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
    • [1] reply
    • If your target prospect is just someone looking to build a free website, then I think Ewen is making some good points there...I would make multiple sliders on your page and dedicate each slider to no more than one or two bullet points, and spell out the benefit of the bullet point to your traffic...

      IE, Slider one, graphic of a slick looking website:
      Create and host your own website in less than 30 minutes!
      > Professional templates
      > Control Panel/Dashboard for simple navigation
      > Use your own personal domain
      > Easy maintenance and CMS management...

      Slider Two, graphic of a slick looking mobile site on a smartphone, next to a smartphone with a horribly configured site...
      How will mobile customers view YOUR site?
      >Did you know 91% of mobile searches result in direct action?
      >Optimize your business for mobility with Webiny's mobile-friendly templates
      >Three easy steps to creating professional mobile-friendly sites!

      Slider Three, graphic of screenshot showing email/newsletter:
      Create brilliant newsletters, manage email and more!
      >Never leave your dashboard to manage your email lists
      >Another benefit
      >Even more benefits...

      "Find out WHY companies like Bayer, Maritime Connector, and Adriatic Luxury Hotels use Webiny for their web solutions..." - Link to a case study...

      But then your big problem is you need more than what you have to sell the service. The bullet points down below ("You will love Webiny") just don't really seem like reasons to love Webiny...Why would I love free hosting? Why is it so important that my website loads quickly...And how will Webiny load my pages more quickly than my current hosting company?

      And I'm just not a fan of the "sign up through Facebook" approach. It doesn't require any commitment. It's easy...But there's no investment from your prospects to really get involved in your business model. Which will be essential for you to move forward with your NEXT business model, as you attract that third component...the revenue generation phase...

      Those are just some thoughts off the top of my head, and I hope I didn't complicate things too much for you.

      Jeremey
  • Hi and thank you all!

    You've been very helpful. I will let you know once I change/upgrade the copy of the site.

    Goran
  • Hi Ken,

    Thanks for the reply. I have 8 years of experience in AdWords with big campaigns, so it's really optimized in terms of keywords, QS and traffic.

    Here's the screenshot for last 7 days: http://twitpic.com/bj4zcc CPA is some $0.30 when you calculate it.

    On the other hand, referral traffic, direct and SEO traffic are converting at some 5-6%

    Also, other members have pointed out some really good questions/concerns and I will split-test the page soon.

    Thanks again
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
    • [1] reply
    • Here are my thoughts when I land on your page.

      If whatever's working is working keep doing it, these are just my thoughts:

      How are you different? You can increase your success emphasizing, for example, the top 5 benefits you offer that no one else in your niche does.

      The word "wonderful" seems ambiguous... I don't know anyone who wants "wonderful" newsletters... people want powerful newsletters they can create fast and easy.

      Saying stuff like, "It's super fast: your pages will load instantly, and your visitors will be happy"... your visitors know what a super fast page does; it's just paraphrasing.

      Also, under the "you will love Webiny" section, remove the icons and just make bullets... the icons don't really seem to clearly communicate anything extra, and just kind of get in the way of reading the benefits.

      I mean there's a few things, as a consumer, looking at it that can be improved, but I love your customer-centric focus, and I can feel your passion and love of creating great products for your customers.

      Also, under your features section, create section anchors (like Wikipedia has to drop down to each section), and also, you're putting up a LOT of features, which can make customers not feel like reading them all; find the top features all your customers want to create a beautifully simple page that is easy to read, and focuses on the things your customers are most looking for.

      Those are just a few of my thoughts... hope that helps!
      • [1] reply
  • Hi i think you've done a great job with your site! especially its good you've connected with facebook!!!
  • Joshua, thanks for your kind words!
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