I cannot truly know without seeing how you generate traffic. It needs to be the exact people looking for your offer. Super targeted traffic. Also I would need to see your preselling process as well as the sales page for this website. This is the final order screen.

That's a busy signup page. You have the signup form up top, then more content below it. By the time I get to the bottom, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Have you received any conversions at all? What's the rate?

Have you split tested this page against a simpler design?

IMO, the page is too complicated.

How do you presell?(if at all?)

This page needs preselling.

the page is busy but it's ok, this is NOT the problem.

It also depends how targeted is your traffic?

the most targeted traffic you can have is traffic you pre conditioned to buy from you.

Your page is breaking about every rule in the book of
landing page design. You need to get rid of 90%
of what you already have on this page. In landing
page design less is more.

You're asking for too much information, your page
is far too busy, there is no obvious "trail" to follow.
Where do I start reading? The black background
makes the text hard to read. You are simply
punishing the visitors who come to your page.

-Ray Edwards

Hi musicmuseman!

Are you ranking well for your major keywords or do you use pay per click ads in generating traffic? It is hard to tell when not knowing your off-page optimisation details. There seems to be a problem on how you target your keywords or market.

In terms of off-page factors, your call to action buttons are placed way below your web page which is not a good practice for sales page marketing. My advice would be to place it on top or position it beside the video. Also take note spacing within your webpage. Too much content are distracting in the eyes of a searcher.

Hope this helps.

In a nutshell...

You have a 33 second video that says little more than "buy me" and then you're taking the viewer directly to an order page.

That simply won't work.

You need to lead prospects to:

1) A sales page to explain WHY they should buy.

2) A squeeze page to get them signed up for a pre-sell autoresponder sequence. Or...

3) BOTH... a sales page that also has an opt-in box built in.

Any of those 3 options will improve your conversions.

Once you get to that point, you need to test, track, and tweak for optimal results.

John

Fully agree with Raydal.

First I will criticize the sales page, then I will criticize your positioning which is the real issue here.

WAY TOO MUCH TEXT. It is literally everywhere. There is no flow or balance. To me it looks like you took a "text machine gun" and started firing off everywhere.

Also, I found this one part specifically horrendous.

The part about "Drum Instructor Fail", that completely obliterates your credibility.
Take all that garbage out. You have no idea where that guy bought his Berkeley shirt and even if you did, it still makes you look bad. Thats not how a competent saleswoman/musician makes sales (by any means neccessary that is). So first and foremost, learn some sales etiquette.

Furthermore, I hate to sound so sexist, but the music industry is a male dominated industry. I've been in it for 12 years. There are a lot of men with big egos in this industry. So much so that I can't imagine any of them wanting to take lessons from a female. Especially when they have no idea who that female is. From what I can see, she's never played in a band, and all she does is covers on youtube. Kinda like every other starving artist I've ever known before.

I was also taken to this page, which basically proves that she has no real credibility:

Vater Artist // Jacqueline Cassell

Read - "all while seeking her next big break". I'm sorry, but I seemed to have missed her FIRST big break lol. Was her endorsement of a drum set a "big break"? Most musicians wouldn't consider that a "big break". I have no idea if you wrote that page too, but its far better to not even frame that as a break of any sort. Humility will take your mission a lot farther than fake credibility will. It may seem picky that I'm going around trying to find out who this girl is, but I imagine a lot of your traffic doing the same thing once they leave your page.

I also see videos on youtube where she's missing beats. I'd delete those top ranking comments that are criticizing her for that reason.

I feel the real issue here is you didn't test your market enough to realize that there is very little demand for drumming lessons from a female. Since 98% of drummers are male. Seeing it from a realistic perspective, traffic is going to be highly critical of this woman when coming to the page. And thats important considering your entire page is positioned like a fake celebrity endorsement.

If you want my real opinion. I'd take out everything. I would stop trying to position this girl like some famous drummer. Position her as a normal, passionate girl who's been playing drums her whole life. AKA raise the humility factor X1000 here. I would do 1 video, a lot longer, and have her show some drumming tricks. Like how to do a flam, how to mix a flam into a loop, how to add tension and groove to that loop.

Something needs to be shown to the traffic that conveys undisputable value. Give a lesson away for free if you need. Talk about how ORGANIZED everything is and how it will save people lots of time.

My main overall criticism is that the current positioning is not going to work. Drumming lessons are available for FREE ALL OVER YOUTUBE. And many people realize intuitively, that drumming is less about lessons, and more about practice. So you have A LOT to overcome here.

Knowing this beforehand, while you're trying to sell drumming lessons based on the recommendation a young female college student... who noone knows... well no wonder you're not getting conversions. From what I can see, she has no credibility. So either build that credibility for HER, or build the credibility for what she has to OFFER. Real celebrity endorsements work because they have "presold" credibility. If that was a real famous drummer on that page, you'd definitely be getting conversions. But they still wouldn't be impressive based on the design of the page.

I hate to sound so critical about this but the music industry is the HARDEST INDUSTRY to profit in. This is why investors rarely invest in bands or musicians. They know they're better off just burning their money.

So if you want any real chance here, create an IRRESISTABLE OFFER. Instead of trying to get money up front, you might be better off giving away 1 high quality lesson for free. Get people on a list, build a relationship, then sell them a full set.

Focus more on the value thats being offered here, less on the girl, and make the entire sales page look more like a real business.

Good luck -Red

ps. One more thing about proper flow. You offer a free assessment, then directly afterwards you attempt to get peoples credit card information for a $19.99/month trial. Thats bad form imo. If you want to put a small red sign up button in that area, go ahead. Then move the credit card form much lower. You need to explain in full what you're offering people FIRST (thats why its called the "offer" and it needs to be the strongest part of your page), BEFORE you ask for credit card information. The video does NOT do that. She basically just says, "we're offering lessons for x & y genres, and as a college student I know what its like to be broke, so buy my shit because I really need the $$". lol. You can pitch some type of offer in the video, or write the offer out in text and move the credit form lower.

Yes, I agree with everybody else.

And... the only benefits that seized me (the others are hidden away and difficult to read) - are drummers will be "assessed and improved" get a $10.00 discount and there's a "community" they can join. To be fair it's an "inspirational*" community - * good word.

But it's not exactly enticingly enthralling is it? (and do people really want 100's of lessons? - I did manage to see that "benefit" lurking much further down the page).

So...

What is the major USP you can highlight?

What is so utterly irresistible?

How good a drummer will they be?

How quickly will they achieve it?

What makes your course leagues better than anyone else's?


Steve

Lacks clarity. Just write a simple message that is in tune with your market.

Hard to say. Off the top,if I were to start optimizing the page I would look to move the signup to the very center of the page. My eyes certainly did not get drawn to the signup. First the top banner of pictures of Jacqueline caught my eye. Then the video. THEN I saw the arrow.

Also, the way that you have the "Email" "Username" "Password" and "Confirm Password" faded into the back of the text boxes is hard to read. It took me a minute to even notice there was writing in there. Market to the lowest common denominator. Make it very, very easy to understand where people need to be putting their information.

Your giving the traffic 3 options above the fold (Youtube/Facebook/Optin), what the heck is the goal?

Pick .

The entire page needs an overhaul.

I agree with a lot of the assessments in this thread. I'll take it further. You need either a simple video sales letter or a simple short copy sales letter with a strong call to action. The page has too much going on, too many images, too many pictures, it comes across almost like a myspace page circa 2005. It's not going to convert. Simplify it and make everything on the simple page about the call to action and you'll see your results improve tenfold!

I do believe Big whacked the nail right on the head.

The big dream is, "I Wanna Be A Rock Star!"

That's the promise you want to make.*


Steve


P.S. * terms, conditions and disclaimers may apply (lol) but you get the idea.

So, maybe don't promise but you can infer it could well happen.