Results of My Split Tests Defy Common Sense

@CopyAssassin: A win is an opt-in. I've reworked my autoresponder series, so I'm going to measure sales from that next, but for now I want to improve my optin rate from paid traffic, mostly PPC.

@OutofThisWord: Yeah, I never thought of it like that.

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

5x Your Focus: Exactly How a Busy Father of 3, With a Full-Time Job, and a Grueling 2 Hour Commute Makes an Extra $500 to $2000 per Month... on Autopilot

-->Click Here for Free Access<--

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7550310].message }}

rimam1

11 years ago

@Maxty Yeah, I'm seeing that focusing on the reader leads to higher conversions.

I'm split testing my ads: one version says "how I did it" and the other says "how YOU can..." and the "you" ad is performing better too. So focusing on the reader consistently performs better: both in my ads and on my squeeze page. So that's a good lesson I learned...

Not sure how I can improve the second headline yet, but I figured I would just run my own tests, rather than beg for help on this forum.

We've got some good copywriters here, but I keep seeing newbies get ripped to shreds because they expect free advice from top copywriters here on the WF.

I'm no copywriter, but I CAN improve my copy by simply testing. And I can learn a thing or two by seeing how the market responds to my copy.

Raza

[ 3 ] Thanks
2 replies

Signature

5x Your Focus: Exactly How a Busy Father of 3, With a Full-Time Job, and a Grueling 2 Hour Commute Makes an Extra $500 to $2000 per Month... on Autopilot

-->Click Here for Free Access<--

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7550332].message }}

DavidG 11 years ago

Originally Posted by rimam1

...

I'm no copywriter, but I CAN improve my copy by simply testing. And I can learn a thing or two by seeing how the market responds to my copy....

That's all that really matters.

BTW - if you can test something about new years. Something that tells your prospects how they can change and actually commit to their resolution.
- Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7550401].message }}

ERPLeadsWriter

11 years ago

Originally Posted by rimam1

I'm split testing my ads: one version says "how I did it" and the other says "how YOU can..." and the "you" ad is performing better too. So focusing on the reader consistently performs better: both in my ads and on my squeeze page. So that's a good lesson I learned...

In my opinion, your second one seems to be better because it's milder compared to the first. It think it's because of a single word choice. You've got "ultimate" spelled in all caps. From online ads I've seen, this one is a little too 'loud' and would definitely raise a flag if I just happened to pass by it while surfing. Using the word 'scientific' (toned down as well) feels less intimidating.

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

ERP Software Leads
We Bring Business to Business

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7551634].message }}

Dennis Gaskill

11 years ago

Originally Posted by max5ty

YOU thought version 1 would win because it was all about YOU?

How YOU did it?

Nobody wants to read YOUR life story.

Version 2 is better because it's about them. How THEY can get ripped etc.

Even the second one is weak and could be made to pull instantly better, but that's something you'll have to test.

Excellent point. In addition to that, I would have guessed the 2nd one because it seems more believeable. From flabby to muscular in 15 days? Sounds "to good to be true" to me. I'd click away as soon as I saw that.

Thanks

Signature

Just when you think you've got it all figured out, someone changes the rules.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7552061].message }}

Thecostofexperience 11 years ago

Originally Posted by OutOfThisWord

No one is dreaming about 'ultimate workout for busy guys'...

...but they do want to 'get lean and ripped in 15 days."

Its Pretty Obvious when you put it in that sense :rolleyes:
- Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7686452].message }}

max5ty

11 years ago

YOU thought version 1 would win because it was all about YOU?

How YOU did it?

Nobody wants to read YOUR life story.

Version 2 is better because it's about them. How THEY can get ripped etc.

Even the second one is weak and could be made to pull instantly better, but that's something you'll have to test.

Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7550294].message }}

UKCopyKing

11 years ago

Originally Posted by max5ty

YOU thought version 1 would win because it was all about YOU?

How YOU did it?

Nobody wants to read YOUR life story.

Version 2 is better because it's about them. How THEY can get ripped etc.

Even the second one is weak and could be made to pull instantly better, but that's something you'll have to test.

I largely agree with this - version 2 is more relevant to me as a reader.

That said, if I were you I'd test without the "muscular within 15-days" promise. For me as a reader (and also somebody who's lost 100 pounds in the last year or so) it's just not believable, and you lose credibility.

Hope that helps.

Trev

Thanks

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7690708].message }}

max5ty

11 years ago

Think about this...

Your first headline part says you went from flabby to muscular in 15 days. If that's true, it's a miracle and you should be jumping up and down in the lobby of the nearest bank.

We all know it's not true.

Second headline at least says your customer can do it in 15 days...frankly I'm having a hard time understanding where you find these gullible people, but hey, I'm not an internet marketer.

I'm thinking you're just talking about an opt in page where they get something free? I've seen loads of these around here that attract all the freebie seekers, but I doubt they sell anything.

I'd suggest you get more honest with your claim. You can actually sell a barge load of stuff by just being honest.

Your potential customer can smell a scam right through their Apple II.

Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7550407].message }}

rimam1 11 years ago

@Maxty I have a ton of respect for you and love your "To All The ___ People" posts. So thanks for taking the time to respond.

I will say this: I was never overweight, just a skinny guy (maybe a tiny bit flabby) but I wanted to get a firmer physique. So I followed this workout program. And yes, in 15 days I did get a firmer physique.

The pictures are accurate. They do tell the truth. And

Will this work if you're severely overweight? Of course not.

Will it work if you don't put in the effort? Nope.

But if you're a busy guy (I have a full-time job, have 2 young kids, an internet business I run on the side) that wants to get a muscular athletic body, you will get results if you put in the effort.

That's the audience I'm talking to. Busy guys who want to get fit fast. As far as being freebie seekers, you're probably right.

But my goal is to get a tight market-to-message match so my prospects trust that I understand their problem and are confident that my solution will help them get what they want.

Granted, maybe I'm not being clear enough in my headline who my target market is. I'm not expert copywriter, so I'm trying to balance brevity with a clear, benefit-laden headline.

But let's be clear, I have made every effort to be honest, accurate, and factual.

I'm no expert copywriter, and I am stumbling my way through this process, and making improvements as I go.

I do suspect that you could help me balance brevity, honesty, and a powerful benefit statement, but of course, I wouldn't expect you to do that for free.

Either way, I love your posts and have a lot of respect for your writing style.

Best,
Raza
- [ 1 ] Thanks
Signature
5x Your Focus: Exactly How a Busy Father of 3, With a Full-Time Job, and a Grueling 2 Hour Commute Makes an Extra $500 to $2000 per Month... on Autopilot

-->Click Here for Free Access<--
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7550498].message }}

The Marketeer

11 years ago

You might want to change your Pre-headline from:

"Don't Buy Another Gym Membership of Fitness Product Until You Read This"

To:

Don't Buy Another Gym Membership or Fitness Product Until You Read This

Thanks

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7552848].message }}

Rezbi

11 years ago

Results of My Split Tests Defy Common Sense

Hence why advertising needs testing. It's not based on common sense.

[ 1 ] Thanks

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7553243].message }}

MaxTheMarketer

11 years ago

Originally Posted by rimam1

Hey guys,

Rather than asking for help with a headline (again) I decided to create two landing pages and tweak the headlines. I'm pretty shocked by the results:

Version 1:

PreHeadline: Don't Buy Another Gym Membership of Fitness Product Until You Read This
Headline: Free Report - The ULTIMATE Workout for Busy Guys
Subheadline: Here's How I Went from Flabby to Muscular in 15 Days... Working Out Just 25 Mins/3x's a Week

Version 2:

Preheadline: Don't Buy Another Gym Membership of Fitness Product Until You Read This
Headline: Discover the Scientific Workout to Get You Lean and Ripped in 15 Days...
Subheadline: Working Out 25 Mins/3x's a Week

I've only been testing for a week, and have less than 600 visitors worth of data to track, but it looks like Version 2 is winning...

It's crazy because I thought version 1 would have won.

I'm going to test a different preheadline next. Something like "WARNING: Avoid the #1 Workout Mistake Most Guys Make"

To be completely honest with you; to me it actually "makes common sense" that the second one wins.

Your second headline is MORE specific (e.g. in 15 days) uses powerful words (e.g. scientific, discover, lean and ripped) and is results-oriented (e.g. lean and ripped in 15 days).

I think you have done great service for all of us here by showing preliminarily results of what a powerful headline is all about:

* Specific
* Emotionally charged
* Results-oriented

For example, if you look at your version 1 again, the headline that is, you will see that it is NOT specific enough, it is NOT really results-oriented (just a guide, not specifically mentioning any muscle groups or gains in muscle weight) and NOT emotionally charged enough (you used ultimate, but in your second headline you used scientific, discover and lean and ripped).

This is actually awesome results you provide us with, although preliminarily of course, version 2 is the way to go for all headlines: specific, results-oriented and emotionally charged!

Well done, sir! ^^,

Take Care & Have An Awesome Day! / Max "MaxTheMarketer" K.

Thanks

Signature

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7687315].message }}

CharismaticMannequin

11 years ago

Rimam, let's see the squeeze page. I'm interested in your product!

I do P90x, and I'm always looking for more info.

Cheers,

Ben.

Thanks

Signature

50% converting squeeze pages, 12% converting WSO's, and more...
BenPalmerWilson Copywriting

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7687448].message }}

ASCW

11 years ago

The real meat of the first option is found in the subheadline.

"Here's How I Went from Flabby to Muscular in 15 Days... Working Out Just 25 Mins/3x's a Week"

You basically take that claim and that appeal and put it into the actual headline of option 2.

Then you flip the claim so it's about your reader instead of you.

Then you inject authority with the scientific claim.

Yep... It's winning.

Thanks

Signature

Site being revamped.

If you want help with copy stuff, pm me.

Cool.

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7687559].message }}

Steve Hill

11 years ago

I'm not a health copywriter, but consider this:

Preheadline: Are You a Busy Guy Who Wants to Get Fit Fast?
Headline: Discover the Scientific Workout to Get You Lean and Ripped in 30 Days...
Subheadline: By Working Out Just 25 Mins/3x's a Week!

The preheader directly appeals to your target demographic (which you clearly know, since you came up with it). It's entering the conversation already in their minds, so it should catch their attention. They are likely to be somewhat in shape already, so lines 2 and 3 sound believable to them.

There is a credibility issue with 3x a week and 15 days, since that is just 5 workouts, which is why I said 30 days. It's either that, or change the headline to:

Headline: Discover the Scientific Workout to Lean and Ripped...See Results in Just 15 Days!

Heck, just 15 days to see results? That sounds believeable and promising.

Thanks

Signature

Learn more - earn more: Books for Copywriters

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7690147].message }}

Results of My Split Tests Defy Common Sense

Trending Topics

A healthy fascination for Hollywood...

How did you turn it all around?

Any thoughts on golf's latest phenom...Scottie Scheffler??

best high quality crypto traffic.

What's the Best IM-Related Skill to Learn Today That Can Help in the Future?