Well, for starters, nothing really catches my eye about it right away. And I didn't even realize most of your sales copy wasn't visible until you scroll down a bit. Things like the benefits don't even come into view before I'm ready to click away somewhere else.

Nothing *grabs* me. Stronger? Wiser? Kinder? Sure, fine. But these are incredibly generic goals that don't set you apart at all from any other warm fuzzy self-help book or program out there.

It's all...bland. And it's not going to connect with someone who is in enough trouble with their anger that they're going to be driven to this kind of program as a desperate way to solve their problem. When I think anger management, I think people who constantly lose their cool in public. More than that, though. They've come this close (or even passed the boundaries of) physical violence against people they love, even. Their anger is disrupting the very foundation of their lives, their mental and emotional selves.

This is, instead, coming across as a generic "feel good" program. And that's not enough. It's not even really your target market. You're not connecting with any emotional trigger or situation that people would have...and this is for an issue that is entirely wrapped up in EMOTION.

And even if I don't immediately click away and actually scroll a bit through your longer sales copy...meh. It's bland. There are no specifics. Even when you try to share your story...

"For many years of my life I had lived with chronic anger problems. The best way to describe the level of anger I’m talking about is to say I used to feel like my very being was an ocean of ferocious anger."

Can't get much more generic than that. You don't sound like someone who struggled with real anger issues. You sound like any other person who was once a pissed off teenager when their parents grounded them for some minor infraction.

I want to hear about the fact that you went to the hospital after you punched a brick wall because your toilet backed up. That you lost a marriage because you couldn't control your anger. That you went to court and barely escaped jail because of an anger-driven event. And that's when you knew you had to turn your life around...

Because that's the point the people need to be at if they're going to want to invest in this kind of program.

I'm not sure how this sales page will improve your conversations.

But if you're looking to improve your conversions then there's certainly room for improvement.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Headline - It's too generic and vague. Needs to include your USP and biggest benefit/s. It should be interesting enough to make the reader want to read the rest of your copy.

2. 1st Buy Now Button - It's not worth putting a buy now button so early on in the copy as people are very unlikely to buy something they don't know much about yet.

3. Benefits - Too short. Need to include features and more detailed benefits in the form of bullets.

4. Testimonials - Need to include user testimonials as well as endorsements.

5. Story - Personal pain is not detailed enough. You need to connect with the pain of your reader early on in the copy.

6. Hook - What is it?

7. Product - What will they get in each week/part of the programme.

8. Call to Action - Assume the sale. don't use words like "if you're ready".

To understand the reason why you're conversion rate is so low have a look at the top sellers in your niche in clickbank or elsewhere.

A Video Sales Letter with you narrating the sales copy might be appropriate for a product like this.

Hi Craig,

Your copy is making me angry!

I'm joking, but as Mr Vogt and The Marketeer accurately pointed out, unfortunately it is bland, generic and vague.

You've got to fire up the emotions. Yes, I know, with "angry" people you have to be a touch careful.

Now, although extensive research is crucial - here's a little guesswork on the psychology of people who are chronically angry and desperately need to "manage" it.

It may be they've always felt -

"It's NOT my f****** fault. Everybody and everything else is plainly and clearly WRONG!!! - It's so OBVIOUS. Any imbecile can see it. AND it's killing me to see so SUCH utter stupidity!!!" (and they bang on and on and on...).

So...

Here's a suggestion.

Tell them, you know it's not their fault - they'll appreciate this and it stops them getting angry at you.

Be real to them - agree that other people and situations are "stupid", "senseless" and would drive anyone up the wall. But they'll always be these people and situations. You can't fight them because that won't change them (it hasn't worked so far) so they need a much better way to deal with them.

Also tell them you understand that many things have happened in the prospects life that made them angry.

Then - point out the cataclysmic effects it has on your prospects if they keep getting "angry."

The severe damage to their health. The breakdown and destruction in relationships. The never ending problems, risks and dangers it causes at work. The turmoil and furores it creates in social situations.

Every part of every day is ruined, from driving, shopping, the weather, the news, virtually every conversation - it all leads to uncontrollable frustrations and furious reactions.

And although from their point of view anger is justified - again it just doesn't and never will handle the situations.

And that it causes them to always lose control - nobody likes this, it's like giving away their full "power of attorney" to everyone and everything. And they now want and need to stop it from happening.

Then...

Give them your solution... telling them how and why everything that causes the fury are quickly and permanently sorted out. Proving beyond doubt that life actually becomes a breeze. Because they can now "fix" things the way they want them to be. But without the anger. It just melts away and vanishing completely. Bringing them absolute control (without ever losing the control) over their emotions creating a wonderful utopia and nirvana.

Write this using all the best copywriting tactics and persuasion techniques.

With of course a rock solid guarantee ("if you find you don't easily handle your "anger" - rest assured you will - but if not - you won't get get angry - because you'll get your money back").


Steve

There's certainly no need to provoke your audience to anger in this situation. They'd be dealing enough with that on their own! You're not looking for ANGER. You're looking for EMPATHY.

It's more making your message actually speak to their situation. Showing that you truly understand what they're going through--you've come through the same fire they're burning in, survived, and can help them pass through it too. This would validate the offer itself and make it more appealing.

You want them thinking things along the lines of, "Yes, that's exactly the sort of situation I've found myself in. Yes, that's the sort of pain I've felt and caused others, and I'm exhausted by it. Yes, this guy obviously has dealt with the same issue. YES, MY GOD it's so frustrating and I WANT IT TO STOP RUINING MY LIFE like it almost did his. I can't bear the thought of it getting WORSE. Wait...he found a way to do it? Wow, he really became like a whole different person. Holy crap, I need to know how he made such a drastic change."

Right now, people driven to your site through the "anger management" keyword are going to take one glance and think..."What does this have anything to do with the huge struggles I'm having?" and they'll leave without giving you a chance to even explain.

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