Need Help Writing Copy for Screenwriting Analysis

10 replies
Hey Guys,

I'm currently trying to write copy for a screenwriting analysis service. I will be taking people's screenplays or scripts and reading them and providing "notes" or "coverage" on them.

I'm working my way through John Carlton's Simple Writing System and Clayton Makepeace's Ultimate Desktop Copy Coach, but I'm really getting stuck on the "features" part of things.

Everybody's screenplay is different, and so everyone's notes end up being different depending on what parts of their script need to be critiqued. I have 5 major areas that I review (hero, opponent, premise, plot, dialogue) and then some extras depending on what's needed. But what's wrong with each of those areas is different for every script. And that's making it hard for me to get the "features" of my notes down, because it's kinda like it changes every time I do them.

For example, in one story the Hero might not have any goals or desire, while in another script he doesn't learn anything or have a "character arc", etc.

I can think of a million ways how my coverage will benefit the writer and make the script better, but am having trouble communicating the exact method of how I'll do it without giving the whole process away. And NO ONE else in this industry uses any real sales copy and so I have inspiration or examples to draw from. I can tell you how many pages you'll get, what I'll review, etc. but not what the exact outcome will be. If your Hero isn't the problem, the notes will be more focused on another area instead.

Maybe I could just say "I'll make sure (this area) of your script does (these things) which will benefit you in (these ways)" for each of the 5 areas?" :confused: Because if I get into detail about what exactly I'm looking for it becomes a checklist that the customer could use themselves to analyze their screenplay, and then it's like I'm not even needed.

Anywho, I don't want to go on too long but, basically I can't figure out how to communicate more in depth about what I'm doing without spilling the beans about the entire process...

Does anyone have any recommendations? Or perhaps links to other pages about consulting or analysis where they communicate the benefits of their analysis / consulting without giving away how they're doing it. Much appreciated.
#analysis #copy #screenwriting #writing
  • Profile picture of the author Robert_Rand
    Hey Tim,

    I wouldn't be too concerned about giving away your secret sauce.

    Anyone could easily find some kind of "checklist" as you mention... Actually, I think the more you give away in terms of how you'll evaluate their screenplay... the more credibility and authority you establish.

    I do understand your point... and you don't have to go into extreme detail if you think you might lose some potential clients over it...

    Just keep in mind though... the real value of your offer is the personal attention you will give to their script, not general information that they could apply themselves.

    If you establish your credibility, and have a good offer... I think you'll be fine.

    You mention John Carlton... so I'll use him as an example. Even after someone purchases his course and discovers all the details of how to write copy... many will still elect to purchase a critique (if there was an offer for one) because there is value in having his personal attention and expertise. Make sense?
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Axelrod
    Hey Tim,

    I'm a screenwriter myself (as well as a copywriter), so it's great to see someone else in the industry here.

    I would guess you're drastically overestimating how much you can "give away" about your process.

    Have you ever seen a long VSL or sales-based webinar? In most of those, they give the general method away but hold back the special nuts and bolts that make it "work."

    They might even add at the end "You could try to wing this on your own, which I can respect, but be very careful because if you do Step 3 the wrong way, your screenplay may be literally broken by the time a studio executive reads it."

    And even if you could give the whole process away, people want things done for them, so you still have value to offer.

    If you'd like to share some features you have, maybe we could help dress them up as bullets. For example, if you have a module on how to make your hero relatable...

    "3 ways to make your main character so likeable that the Hollywood exec reading your script will have his heart pounding through his chest every time your hero's in danger (Add this one characteristic and your audience will forgive ALL your hero's flaws...)"

    If you feel like you can't share more on here without "giving stuff away," feel free to PM me.

    --Dan

    dan [at] realsalescopy.com

    P.S. - Check out Philip Gladwin's copy for his screenwriting ebook. Very solid stuff.
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    • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
      I also worked in the industry - the big plusses for coverage are 1) that they find holes and/or good stories for 2) overworked execs who don't have time to read. Often the assistants or coverage writers read the scripts and make notes, the exec reads and decides whether or not to take the pitch.

      It sounds to me like you're selling this to aspiring screenwriters as a way to help strengthen materials? Or are you targeting production companies that need reliable readers? If you're selling to aspiring writers, I'd lean toward giving it all away because if you have insider info (trends - Scoggins report, industry trade papers, etc.) you'll still have information they don't have. I think you'd have better luck with production companies and studios though, except those that contract with union readers.
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  • Wow, those are some amazing resources guys! And great advice too! Exactly what I was looking for!

    Most people offering the service are just boring and drab, and I needed some examples of how to use copywriting for consulting for writers. Both Gladwin's and Brook's site were really good examples.

    And Dan that was a great bullet! Killer Stuff!

    This whole venture started as a way to make a living while I write. Everyone else around either didn't have enough work for an extra reader (probably because their site sucked) or were paying burger flippin' wages.

    I planning to aim for individual writers looking for a personal connection with another writer rather than trying to land big accounts and massive amounts of scripts because I simply can't do all that work by myself.
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    • Profile picture of the author marciayudkin
      Tim,

      Sounds to me like you need to learn how to write "teaser" bullets. These hint at or describe the major benefit of your features in ways that make mouths water but without being specific enough to serve as a checklist.

      Here are a few examples from one of my own sales pages:

      * The best quick-start product formats (teleclasses? printed anthologies? tips? recorded seminars? - you'll find out which I most recommend!)

      * Eager to help your target market learn precisely what they need to know for success? Discover the hidden pitfall in this urge that can lead to products no one wants

      * The tricky business of perceived value: 16 factors that add value in the eyes of buyers, including reassurances about what might be the scariest item for you in that bunch

      * How ill-conceived product names and titles can kill potential and what to think about to select names and titles that sell

      * The psychology of "raving fans" and the little gestures that turn them into ultraloyal customers and referral sources

      * What no one tells you about merchant credit card accounts and what you must know to avoid business-killing disasters

      Etc.

      I have a low-priced yet detailed Kindle product on how to write bullets that takes you through the process of creating bullets that sell.

      Gary Halbert has some great tips on writing bullets, too, but I don't have the reference handy at the moment.

      Good luck,
      Marcia Yudkin
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    • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
      Originally Posted by Tim Clay Marketing View Post


      I planning to aim for individual writers looking for a personal connection with another writer rather than trying to land big accounts and massive amounts of scripts because I simply can't do all that work by myself.
      I'm going to let you know right now that's a tough market to crack. You're going to get new, inexperienced writers who may well have never written a script before, or you're going to get a lot of wary, suspicious writers who have paid for a similar service and been ripped off. There are a million and one screenplay critique services/workshops/deals with the devil.

      Defining value and establishing credibility will be crucial for you.

      And consider this - targeting individual writers will have you constantly trawling for new clients. Whereas targeting companies with a high volume of scripts will allow you to tap into repeat buyers. Many companies are already doing business with several readers, so odds are if you get overloaded they'll simply hand off the excess.

      For the life of me, I can't remember the script readers guild, or else I'd link it.
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      • Originally Posted by angiecolee View Post

        For the life of me, I can't remember the script readers guild, or else I'd link it.
        Try here:

        The Story Analysts Guild (part of the Motion Picture Editors Guild, West Coast) is the union representing script readers: Local #700 of IATSE
        7715 Sunset Blvd. #200
        Los Angeles, CA 90046
        323.876.4770
        www.editorsguild.com
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  • Profile picture of the author ERPLeadsWriter
    I've critiqued some stories before and have been critiqued myself. From my experience, what always got me wanting to learn more is whenever my mentors would just point out the most obvious flaw as well as the most obvious strength in what I wrote. After that, it is just a matter of them having too little time to tell me everything that will get me to go for a full lesson at their own time.
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  • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
    Thanks Joe! I was stuck on the editors part of the URL and just could not think of what it was. I know a lot of the studios I worked with (WB, CBS Films, etc.) used union readers.
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