Can YOU Figure Out Why This Copy Is Not Converting?

68 replies
Hi Warriors,

I have a site that is doing very, very poorly (under .05% conversion). I have tried to mercilessly tweak the copy so it works but there's obviously something important I'm missing.

First of all, some statistics. The reader spends an average of 4:30 on the page, and about 8% click the order link.

You can check out my copy at:

.iscover the Secrets to Giving Your Partner Multiple, Mind Blowing Orgasms, and Have Her Beg You For Sex:.

Anyone have any ideas?

-Dan
#converting #copy #figure
  • Profile picture of the author cheeze69
    I'm no copywriting expert, so I'll avoid commenting on that, but I might think that will be a tough subject to sell to. As someone who's interested in the secrets your product claims to offer, I'm exceptionally skeptical of things like that in the sex field. The deck is stacked against you selling such a product to me and no matter how good the copy, you may never succeed simply because I feel it's a "probably scam" type subject (I'm sure it isn't - I'm just extolling my thoughts).

    I'll probably read the entire letter hoping to gain some ideas, or imagine how awesome I could be with a woman (hence the 4:30 attention span) and then click to see the price, but after that, I'm most likely out of there because it's not a subject I really trust. There are too many sex-related scams filling my inbox/etc. and I've become almost immune to persuasion in that subject after chugging dozens of bottles of enlargement pills and still not dragging on the ground

    Just my 2 cents. Other more experienced people may provide contrasting viewpoints, but that's just my honest opinion from a non-marketing/potential customer type viewpoint.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Lam
    Daniel, your copy isn't the problem - it's your visual interest to the audience. It's SOOOOO boring. After a brief skim of your page, the content isn't that bad, but specific parts of your page needs to be emphasized better. Nothing really jumps out.

    Think about this question, is the integrity of your website professional?

    This is important, because the appearance triggers the visitor's interest and the content keeps the visitor's attention.

    Let me say that again, "the appearance triggers the visitor's interest and the content keeps the visitor's attention."

    If people aren't interested in the first place, why would they care what is being said on your page? There's nothing on your page that would make a reader want to actually read. So spruce up your site a bit. What do you have to lose?
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    • Profile picture of the author MontelloMarketing
      Kevin... no offense... but you're not right on the whole "get interest" thing.

      Sure... you need to catch their eye. And graphics help with that. But you need the words. It's ALL about the words. And I'm not saying this because I write words for a living.

      You get the interest by putting interesting things on the page. This is why high paid copywriters are high paid.

      And the truth is the copy isn't horrible... needs work, but not horrible. It's not the problem. Graphics could be helpful, but they're not the problem either.

      I said it earlier and I'll say it again...

      One of the biggest (probably THE biggest) problem is positioning. Trying to get people to buy a pamphlet from a virtually unknown, untested entity for 25 bucks is nearly impossible.

      You have to position your product differently.
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      • Profile picture of the author Kevin Lam
        Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing View Post

        Kevin... no offense... but you're not right on the whole "get interest" thing.

        Sure... you need to catch their eye. And graphics help with that. But you need the words. It's ALL about the words. And I'm not saying this because I write words for a living.

        You get the interest by putting interesting things on the page. This is why high paid copywriters are high paid.

        And the truth is the copy isn't horrible... needs work, but not horrible. It's not the problem. Graphics could be helpful, but they're not the problem either.

        I said it earlier and I'll say it again...

        One of the biggest (probably THE biggest) problem is positioning. Trying to get people to buy a pamphlet from a virtually unknown, untested entity for 25 bucks is nearly impossible.

        You have to position your product differently.
        Vin,

        I agree, I never said his copy is horrible. I also indicated that it could be improved and also pointed out it's not the problem. I'm not saying graphics alone will fix his problems, I am simply stating that his overall look and appeal needs to be more professional quality.

        You're saying positioning is the problem and "selling a pamphlet from a virtually unknown, untested entity for 25 bucks is nearly impossible," but it's being done everyday. I've done it before when I first got started 8 years ago.

        To me, the problem is that the content that SHOULD be emphasized isn't and not at the right time. As a copywriter, you know that a prospect's "buying mode" must be built up to. To do that, we must emphasize specific words and phrases at specific intervals.

        I hardly agree that his "position" is the problem. And now that you've got him to drop his price simply because he's an unknown, I'd like to see how much of a difference that would make for him.
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        • Profile picture of the author MontelloMarketing
          Kevin... an unknown selling a pamphlet is a tough sell. An "expert" selling a pamphlet is easier. An unknown selling a "system" rather than a pamphlet is easier. Now...

          An expert selling a system is even easier. And this is all about positioning. Build up credibility to attain expert status... and take the same 25 page book and reframe what it's perceived as in the eye of the buyer. That's the quick fix here.

          This is the last I'll say on the topic. Others can disagree all they want.
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          • Profile picture of the author Kevin Lam
            Hey Vin,

            I agree that an "expert" selling anything would do better than an unknown, there's no argument there. What I didn't get was that you were basically saying the man had no shot at it because he's an unknown and therefore should drop his prices.

            I don't know how many pages are in his book and I don't know the quality of the book. These 2 data can make a huge difference in pricing. Until then, I can't tell the guy that his prices are off.

            Price isn't the largest factor in making sales - it contributes, but not the deciding factor. It's the ability to convey a message to the prospect and get them to understand that the product will resolve their agonizing issues. If someone truly needs to have "better" sex, you can't put a price on the joy and happiness they'll have when they can have that over and over again.

            Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing View Post

            Kevin... an unknown selling a pamphlet is a tough sell. An "expert" selling a pamphlet is easier. An unknown selling a "system" rather than a pamphlet is easier. Now...

            An expert selling a system is even easier. And this is all about positioning. Build up credibility to attain expert status... and take the same 25 page book and reframe what it's perceived as in the eye of the buyer. That's the quick fix here.

            This is the last I'll say on the topic. Others can disagree all they want.
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            • Profile picture of the author MontelloMarketing
              Originally Posted by netdebut View Post

              What I didn't get was that you were basically saying the man had no shot at it because he's an unknown.
              Wow... not even close to what I was saying (basically or otherwise). My point was (and this is for the umpteenth time now)

              REPOSITION YOURSELF AND YOUR PRODUCT!!!
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          • Profile picture of the author Ron Herman
            Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing View Post

            Kevin... an unknown selling a pamphlet is a tough sell. An "expert" selling a pamphlet is easier. An unknown selling a "system" rather than a pamphlet is easier. Now...

            An expert selling a system is even easier. And this is all about positioning. Build up credibility to attain expert status... and take the same 25 page book and reframe what it's perceived as in the eye of the buyer. That's the quick fix here.

            This is the last I'll say on the topic. Others can disagree all they want.

            Kevin, I will say that I agree with Vin here, though he presents you with a problem, but only one real solution.

            I do also agree that you should focus on getting optins with a good ethical bribe, and that the product should be billed as a "secret formula" (or something like that) instead of a report.

            There is no way to build your own personal expert status or credibility overnight... BUT, you can interview an expert or five and use their credibility.

            Why not seek out some known "sexperts" and do interviews with them? Make the interviews part of the "Secret Orgasmic Formula" you're selling.

            I mean, if you had a photo of Dr. Ruth, for example, with a blurb about your interview with her, think how would that would change the scenery of the sales letter.

            Besides, everyone will want to get the product just to hear Dr. Ruth say "penis" again.
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  • Profile picture of the author Adaptive
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Vin,

    I appreciate your advice.

    It's nice that my copy isn't horrible. That may sound sarcastic, but I'm serious here. I'm trying to learn to write better copy, but it's a pretty slow process.

    Would you be able to impart any wisdom or advice you have on "positioning", or resources that can explain this is a little more detail? Or any advice you may have in this specific instance?

    Do you think a simple price drop (and then using the product to essentially create a "list" of buyers and then work on upsells etc) is the way to go, and increase the price when I am more "known" in this niche? I'm just thinking out loud here, essentially; I'm not to knowledgable about how to actually go about this. I'm happy to buy any resources you may have on the subject, though (if you do produce any; I don't know).

    Incidentally, do you have any specific comments about the copy?

    Thanks again for taking the time to look over it.

    -Dan
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    • Profile picture of the author MontelloMarketing
      Dan,

      build credibility in the author... stop calling it a report (reports are usually free). No book... no report... It's a "system," a "program" or something like that.

      Test prices. And then consider using it as a freebie. I'm not sure we're at the point where you have to do that. First try repositioning. And that's done with credibility and word choices.

      Sorry... that's all I can give you. My paying clients would be pissed.

      Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

      Vin,

      I appreciate your advice.

      It's nice that my copy isn't horrible. That may sound sarcastic, but I'm serious here. I'm trying to learn to write better copy, but it's a pretty slow process.

      Would you be able to impart any wisdom or advice you have on "positioning", or resources that can explain this is a little more detail? Or any advice you may have in this specific instance?

      Do you think a simple price drop (and then using the product to essentially create a "list" of buyers and then work on upsells etc) is the way to go, and increase the price when I am more "known" in this niche? I'm just thinking out loud here, essentially; I'm not to knowledgable about how to actually go about this. I'm happy to buy any resources you may have on the subject, though (if you do produce any; I don't know).

      Incidentally, do you have any specific comments about the copy?

      Thanks again for taking the time to look over it.

      -Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author Robert_Rand
    Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

    Hi Warriors,

    I have a site that is doing very, very poorly (under .05% conversion). I have tried to mercilessly tweak the copy so it works but there's obviously something important I'm missing.

    First of all, some statistics. The reader spends an average of 4:30 on the page, and about 8% click the order link.

    You can check out my copy at:

    .iscover the Secrets to Giving Your Partner Multiple, Mind Blowing Orgasms, and Have Her Beg You For Sex:.

    Anyone have any ideas?

    -Dan
    8% click the order link and only .05% order?

    I find that a little bit shocking but if that really is the case then I'd test different text on the Clickbank order page.

    Try changing "Incredible In Bed Electronic Book" to something like "Ultimate Sex Secrets Revealed - Complete System With Bonuses"
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    • Profile picture of the author Ken Strong
      Originally Posted by Robert_Rand View Post

      8% click the order link and only .05% order?

      I find that a little bit shocking
      Maybe... but shopping cart abandonment rates can be amazingly high... although not usually this high.

      but if that really is the case then I'd test different text on the Clickbank order page.

      Try changing "Incredible In Bed Electronic Book" to something like "Ultimate Sex Secrets Revealed - Complete System With Bonuses"
      This is a shot in the dark, but maybe change the product name on the order page to something totally innocuous, like "Scott Enterprises" or whatever... just in case some people are embarassed about having that show up on their credit card statement?
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      • Profile picture of the author briancassingena
        Originally Posted by KenStrong View Post

        Maybe... but shopping cart abandonment rates can be amazingly high... although not usually this high.


        This is a shot in the dark, but maybe change the product name on the order page to something totally innocuous, like "Scott Enterprises" or whatever... just in case some people are embarassed about having that show up on their credit card statement?
        Great point, most of the advice here is good but here's one tiny feature which may be blowing your results out of the water.

        I'm not sure how Clickbank can help you with this, but you need to find out if you can have an anonymous name of some kind appear on their credit card, while still retaining your product name on the order page. (Or adopting a new one...there are some good suggestions here)

        The most important part is to make sure you tell the reader they will be anonymous! They used to deliver adult videos in brown paper bags and bill you with an anonymous name, the same thing is needed here, even if it is to create a better sex life for both people, the buyer still doesn't want their spouse to know they bought something like this. The order page isn't that bad.

        So 8% of people check out the order page, and a good chunk of them would buy without any obstacles, however only a fraction of them do go ahead and buy becuase of what I've been talking about. Make sure they know their statement won't show a potentially embarrasing product name.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Robert,

    I know, it seems kind of weird. My guess would be that I'm just not creating that "MUST HAVE" drive there or something else is going on. But I don't know (hence why I'm asking you guys for help).

    I might try your suggestion though - thanks!

    -Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Hi Ken,

    Good points.

    I another good idea.

    This is why I love this forum!

    -Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    How about focus on Opt-ins with a free report about
    "3 Mindblowing TurnOns You can Put To Work in the
    Bedroom Tonight!"

    Then you've automatically moved it out of the seduction
    niche for many dudes and into the relationship-improvement
    niche. That's part of positioning - shoot for a target you
    can hit. Then upgrade as you go with email.

    Like probably 50% of the adults out there have at least
    perused a book or two on better sex - so assuming people
    are clueless or haven't heard about what works is
    not accurate.
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    By the way - your copy brings to mind images of hardbodies -
    like a bodice-ripper novel. the truth is a lot of people don't see
    themselves that way but they would like to have better sex -
    so I feel your copy basically excludes people who don't
    see themselves as young, athletic and full of sexual energy.

    It's the FEELING of the thing, see?
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Loren,

    Thanks for your thoughts. Those are some good ideas.

    Vin,

    I appreciate your advice. When you say "paying clients", do you mean the people who hire you to write for them? Or do you sell a course on this kind of information?

    Can anyone recommend some good books I can read (or courses to buy etc) to get me more into this kind of thing?

    -Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author Christie Love
    Well, it seems as though you've lowered the price. That's a good start.

    As for copywriting books... I would suggest going to Amazon and buying them ALL!
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  • Profile picture of the author I Write Junk Mail
    Daniel,

    I've learned, though much trial and error, that you've got to make every word of a sales letter work for you. Excess verbiage wears the reader down. So let's trim your headline so there's nothing left but lean muscle.

    But before we change even one word, let's be honest here about how we guys view sex. In its simplest terms, more is better than less, sooner is better than later. Okay? So there's an immediacy here that needs to be addressed (I want it now) and a quantity issue (I want lots of it).

    Now let me ask you a question. Do you know the ratio of men to women who've bought your product? I ask only because in my experience, women will buy something like this for their men far more often than men will buy it for themselves. Why? Men have egos. We all think we're galloping stallions. We'd never admit to needing a course on being better in bed.

    We're also a little selfish. We tend to be more concerned about getting our own rocks off than satisfying our women. So even though you're selling a product for men, chances are women will be the primary buyers. I notice you don't have one testimonial from a woman, which makes all your testimonials suspect. Be careful.

    Now, finally, to the headline ...

    "Give Me Five Minutes, and I'll Reveal How You Can"

    You just lost half your audience. We're talking about sex here. Forget the "how to" stuff. I don't want to learn. I want o experience.

    I can replace those first nine words (and a conjunction) with a single word that'll set the stage both emotionally and practically.

    "Tonight ..."

    Can you sense the expectation?

    Now let's nix that word "partner." It's a business word. It's a public word. It's everything but a bedroom word. "Baby" would work well, but it's too early to introduce that one. You've got to establish some intimacy first. I like "woman" as in "she's my woman." Very posesive. Almost neanderthal. Okay so far? Let's move on ...

    "That Are So Good"

    Why not simply "So Good" or "So Powerful" or "So Mind Blowing" or "So Devastating". Pick up a thesaurus and put it to good use. Just nix the "That Are." Extra baggage.

    Here's what we have so far ...

    "Tonight ... Give Your Woman Wild, Uncontrollable Orgasms, So Powerful ..."

    Okay. Not bad. Now ... just how powerful are those orgasms?

    "So Powerful ... She'll Literally Be BEGGING You For Sex The Next Day"

    Has a woman ever begged a man figuratively or metaphorically? Ummm ... no! So we don't need that word "literally." All begging is literal.

    And now for a quick change of tense. Turn "be begging" into simply "beg." Now you have an action verb. Much more powerful.

    One more change ...

    Remember what I said earlier about immediacy? Guys want sex now. Guys don't want to hear about "Sex the Next Day" even if his woman will be begging for it. The neanderthal mind says, "heck, she can beg me right now!"

    So we'll turn "the Next Day" into "All Night Long."

    The final product ...

    "Tonight ... Give Your Woman Wild, Uncontrollable Orgasms ... So Powerful ... and She'll Beg You For Sex All Night Long"

    Here's a slightly different version ...

    "Tonight ... Give Your Woman Multiple Orgasms, Each More Earth Shattering Than the Last ... and She'll Beg You to Do It All Night Long"

    Now you have a headline loaded with benefits and you're building anticipation that these benefits can be realized tonight. And the best part is you haven't even hinted that you're selling something.

    Do you see why the little details count so much? And all this was just for the headline.

    Change your perspective. Be less technical. Get more emotional. More sensual. Reading the first few sentences in your sales letter is like taking a survey. Imagine being stopped on a street corner by a college student holding a clipboard. Know what I mean?

    Hit the ground running with something like this ...

    When was the last time your woman breathlessly pleaded with you: "please baby, just one more time!"

    Tell these guys there's this untapped storehouse of boiling testosterone waiting to be unleashed ... and their women want it! Cut the negative crap out of your letter. Focus on the positives and the end result.

    Take care,
    Roger
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    • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
      Originally Posted by I Write Junk Mail View Post

      Now you have a headline loaded with benefits and you're building anticipation that these benefits can be realized tonight. And the best part is you haven't even hinted that you're selling something.

      Do you see why the little details count so much? And all this was just for the headline.

      Change your perspective. Be less technical. Get more emotional. More sensual. Reading the first few sentences in your sales letter is like taking a survey. Imagine being stopped on a street corner by a college student holding a clipboard. Know what I mean?
      Hot damn, Roger...

      That was one hell of a first post to WF. Welcome!

      Nice work.

      Best,

      Brian
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      • Profile picture of the author barnsng
        A few observations

        You copy started of with questions. Nothing wrong with that but your questions are too draggy to hold my attention. It looks complicated at a glance.

        In fact, as I read your questions I got drifted off and have to start reading it a few times.

        I would suggest short and simple questions that the reader wants to know and the only place for answer is somewhere in your copy.

        Your copy have a lot of "they", "other people" but lack of "me, myself and I" issue. It didn't address the reader's deepest concern about pleasing his partner. The reader's hot button.

        Some of your questions are asking your reader about what a third person will thinks. Ask questions that relates to him.
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  • Profile picture of the author vistad
    Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

    Hi Warriors,

    I have a site that is doing very, very poorly (under .05% conversion).

    Anyone have any ideas?

    -Dan
    I went through the copy. The text is relentless, it hammers the message at you. As pointed out visitors would look for hints of the secret that's why they are there for 4:30.
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  • Profile picture of the author AnarchyAds
    Banned
    If you do a two-question, six answer survey ( put dot in one of three buttons )
    to get access to a FREE VIDEO ( which will be testimonials from women and men - scrape it from anywhere ) and the questions are:

    You are:
    x A man
    x A woman
    x A woman looking to read this with your man

    x Under 25
    x 26 - 40
    x Over 41


    You you will find you need 9 pages to get the conversions WAY up.
    Use photos and videos of people IN THE DEMOGRAPHIC they indicate.



    If this is not your product, you can SCRAPE the publisher's page and spin it.
    If this IS your product, put an ad in your local college newspaper:

    Seeking women 18 -35 for clinical study.
    We provide you a brochure with instructions
    to increase your orgasmic response and you
    return in a week to provide a report of your
    results. No pay but learning this will give you
    A gift that keeps on giving!

    You can then get your video testimonials
    You can offer to hide their identities if they
    wish. Expect an 80% flake rate.
    ( That is, 80% of the women who agree to
    come for the brochure ( no pun ) will not
    show up and 80% who take the brochure
    will not return to provide testimonial )

    Get a contract signed
    Mak it non-disclosure - they are legally
    not allowed to share the information.
    They are compelled to return in a week
    ( or two ) to provide a report by filling
    out a questionaire in exchane for the
    info received which is valued at over
    $500.

    Some may say "just give the fom now
    and I'll take it back" - but tell them that
    you need an interactive interview so
    you can expand on certain questions.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Wow.

    A lot of passionate debates here, seems like everyone has a different idea. That's awesome, and I'm glad to see it happen.

    Regarding dropping the price, it is one factor that I have not tested yet, so I thought I would see if it would make any difference, primarily because it was a two-minute change and I had nothing to lose. I am taking steps to try and better understand how I can apply some of the advice mentioned here, but I'm pretty dopey, and sometimes things have to percolate for me.

    I happen to agree with a lot of what has been said here; although, having said that, exactly WHICH factor is the one that will have the hugest impact, I'm not sure on. I SUSPECT that the biggest issue at the moment is making the prospect understand how much value this will add to their life, and positioning and credibility would, perhaps, be a big part of that.

    I think that almost everyone who has contributed to this thread, however, has stated tips which will increase conversions.

    Some info on my target market:

    Primarily this is a product that is targeted at guys in long-term relationships who have understood there's a problem with their sex life, usually because they're not getting it anymore. I know one guy, actually, who even caught his wife WATCHING TV out of the corner of her eye while they were in the middle of it. So that's the hot buttons I've tried to hit here. Going from advice in this thread, I've made at least some progress with that.

    Again, I want to thank EVERYONE who participated in this thread very, very much. A lot of this advice is invaluable and has given me a lot of specific points to go and work on, and that's priceless.

    Having said that, if anyone has anything else to add, I'd love to hear it.

    Kind regards,

    -Dan
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    • Profile picture of the author writergirlk
      Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

      Wow.

      Primarily this is a product that is targeted at guys in long-term relationships who have understood there's a problem with their sex life, usually because they're not getting it anymore. I know one guy, actually, who even caught his wife WATCHING TV out of the corner of her eye while they were in the middle of it. So that's the hot buttons I've tried to hit here. Going from advice in this thread, I've made at least some progress with that.

      -Dan
      So knowing that, my advice doesn't change. I'd take the following approach:

      Static site or blog with helpful articles related to the target audience's problem. Short articles of around 300 words that don't give much away. The site should have an opt in giving something away for free - like a short report.

      Use standard list tactics to get people to click back to the site and to your landing page.

      Site should have links to the landing page as well.

      Make the landing page visual. Depict pictures of happy, satisfied couples who look like they want each other. Tell the person what will happen once they use your product as well but the pics should convey that.
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  • Profile picture of the author DougHughes
    A couple of things run through my mind when I read the page.

    1. I wonder...do I really care if she orgasms or not?

    2. Do I really want her begging for more?

    3. That's great, she's going to have multiple orgasms, but what about me? What's in it for me. To make this offer more compelling I would need something more than giving her orgasms. In my mind that is more of a feature than a benefit (but I am a male).

    4. Something else you say is that "A whopping TWO THIRDS of women said they regularly faked having an orgasm, and that their man had absolutely NO CLUE that they HATED having sex with him." My question is, if we don't have a clue why would we buy a book? Why fix what isn't broken?

    5. "What kind of changes do I think will happen in my life..." Yikes...I think she'll be bothering me for sex all the time. Do I really want that?

    6. What if I turn her into an orgasm junkie and I can't keep up? Will she leave me for another guy?

    7. "Wouldn't it be good to know that you're a true alpha male?" Not sure, if I were an alpha male would I even care?

    8. I think it would be better if my lover could give me multiple mind-blowing orgasms.

    9. Better still would be something on how I could get multiple women in my bed giving me multiple mind-blowing orgasms, and then be out the door quicker than two shakes of a lambs tail.

    Someone asked a good question above. Do you know who buys this product? Women may be more open to buying this for their man.

    Prove your claims with something free. Here's what I would probably do. Take the absolute best one or two techniques from your book and give them away in your sales copy. Show them what they will get. This will help your credibility.

    Here is something else you could do. Opt them into a list that offers something like a free email course on improving their relationships, give them a bunch of good free stuff, and then every forth letter or so hit them with a sales pitch. This way you are giving them a lot of good free stuff and they are more likely to believe you when you tell them you have a product worth buying.

    The above method would also set you up for more opportunities for backend sales.

    On your current page, I don't get a sense of urgency. There is nothing that makes me want to get the product right now. After all, couldn't I just look around the internet or go to my local library and get this information for free?

    Look for ways to package this as something very special that must be taken advantage of now. One idea someone suggested was to package this as a system. That is another idea. You could add some video or audio to your package and add a lot of perceived value.

    To create immediacy you could say something like the author has negotiated higher royalties and you have to raise the price in x number of days. Or that you have been getting harassed by women's rights groups claiming that your product gives men an unfair power of persuasion over women and you don't know when you will have to yield to the pressure and stop selling the product. Maybe something like. Our web hosting company has threatened to close our account due to complaints by our competition claiming our product violates their acceptable use terms.

    Don't take those literally. I was just using them as examples. The point is, think of creative ways to create a sense of urgency.
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    • Profile picture of the author TimCastleman
      Dan -

      I am sorry to hear that you lowered your price instead of increasing your value.

      Think about it like this - if you are charging $25 a product what do you expect for that amount?

      Well lets see I could buy 2 music CD's
      I could buy one or two DVD's
      I could buy up to 3 books

      or I could just buy this single ebook?

      What if you increased the perceived value of your product?

      - Add an audio file or two (it could be nothing more than a recording of your ebook)

      - What about a video or a mind map

      - What about an "interview" with you the author going into some greater detail about this or that

      - What about a 30 minute consultation via the phone if they want to ask you some questions

      - What about a members only group where they can post questions, tips, tricks, etc

      Of course I only came up with these ideas off the top of my head so if you gave it more than the 5 minutes it took me to come up with them you could get even more.

      Hope that helps.

      Tim
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  • Profile picture of the author Bigsofty
    Who's your real audience?

    17 year old acne-riddled lads with Paypal

    They have the attention span of a newt. Make it half a page, put a pic of a hawt woman on there and thank me later.


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  • Profile picture of the author writergirlk
    Personally, I don't think this is a market that will respond to the standard sales letter. And it needs to be highly visual. Put a pic or two of attractive women, and a picture of a couple holding hands where they look VERY well satisfied. Think about the target audience and tailor the pics accordingly. And as far as copy goes - for this market, less is more AND give something away. Abandon the sales letter totally and try something different - maybe sell the product on a static site of around 10 articles all with various related topics.
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  • Profile picture of the author Adaptive
    AnarchyAds, I wanted to make a point to thank you for the tip about a mini-survey that branches off into multiple sales letters for each market segment. I think that's a brilliant idea and I'd love to see a thread just about that one concept.

    Daniel, think through the reasons why you might not buy something.
    • Don't understand what it is supposed to do
    • Understand what benefit it is supposed to result in, but don't believe it works
    • Understand the benefit and believe it could result, but don't believe it's relevant for me
    • Believe it could well work for other people, but not for me
    • Believe the benefit, that it could work and that it's for me, but don't believe I could afford it
    • Believe that I could afford something beneficial, but don't see that it's a good use of my money
    • Believe it's a valuable use of my money, but placing the order seems to difficult or embarrassing
    Could you take another look at your ad and figure out if your sales letter specifically addresses each of these concerns?

    Then, could you look at your order page and find out if it reinforces the feeling and logic of the decision, while relieving any fear of buyer's remorse?

    Regards,
    Allen
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  • Profile picture of the author Waterways2k8
    Hey Dan

    I thought I just check out your site and sale copy - like other fellow members have said, it's not a bad copy at all, and yes it does need some visual stimulation but if I say : let's look at it from the customers point of view and the current economic climate situation

    People are currently are more worried about financial difficulties, rather than about having better sex, and unfortunately I guess you're in a very competitive market which is why it may not convert as much.

    A possible idea is, maybe you could try out a squeeze page opt in form, where people can download a free preview chapter, or a preview report which will aid to entice them to buy your full ebook.

    Obviously, once they have entered their email address etc... you could take them to an page, where you tell them that their ebook is on their way, and present them with an upsell offer to your full ebook.

    If that is too much hassle, then maybe you could simply put a header on the page with the title of your eBook and see if that helps.

    Also I noticed that the text with bullet points, listing what your ebook contains, is in a different font and size.

    Some layout spacing would also be useful to break down some paragraphs, especially towards the latter half. The reason I mention this is that long paragraphs and sentences make it's very difficult for the reader to follow.

    I personally find that a good way to check whether my potential reader will get lost or not, is to read out what it exactly says on the screen.

    If you run out of breath, then you know your sentence is too long. This equates to a higher chance that your reader will get lost.

    Hope that helps and that I didn't offend you or anyone else.

    Best Regards
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Just to correct a mistake I made in my first post, it should be "under 0.5%" not "under .05%". Still terrible, but slightly less terrible

    -Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author ryanmacca
    Your sales page has no images.
    People purchase things because of emotions
    You need some pictures that will stir peoples emotions for the desire to have unbelievable sex
    Otherwise, your conversions will stay low no matter how good your content
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  • Profile picture of the author alexandervintii
    I have learned a lot to you guys. Thanks for the great tips
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    • Profile picture of the author Matt James
      You've absolutely no graphics and that's the worst part.

      I think you need a HOT video out there which shows them exactly a bit of what you mean!
      And you're supposed to be a copywriter?

      It ain't the lack of images folks, it's the words on the page. Words can create images in the reader's mind far more exciting than anything he puts on there.

      The trend these days is to have sales pages riddled with eye-popping gfx... that doesn't mean it's essential for every sales letter.

      On the other hand nice gfx do attract clueless affiliates who think great gfx = great sales page.
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  • Profile picture of the author JamesMSpacey
    Hi Daniel,

    First, I'd be interested to know how/if things have changed from the lower price point. Personally I wonder whether you shouldn't increase the price (assuming your product is of a high quality). It seems to me that if your product delivers what it promises then that would be something most men would pay a lot more for. Anyway, could be worth a test?

    Following on from the thought above about the potential value of your program, I don't think you're pushing the insecurity issue enough in your copy. Most men have massive performance anxieties and you could be targeting this with some real pressure so that it makes the reader feel the pain these insecurities cause them... People pay more and buy quicker when they feel desparate, urgent need. At the moment the copy seems to promise enhancement (i.e. improvement of already present confidence and skill..) You need to paint as wide a gap as possible between your product's outcome - confidence and skill - and the buyer's current situation - insecurity and failure. Does that make sense?
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    • Profile picture of the author MaskedMarketer
      I agree you'll need to position your offer differently and add some spice to it with images and even video. Are you capturing leads?

      Maybe using a live women to entice your audience may compel them to take action?

      Ex:

      Female Orgasm Techniques | Free Instant Access!
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  • Profile picture of the author lindgren
    Hi Daniel
    I have taken the time to check your salespage. Its actually NOt bad in terms of "what is needed in a salespage", and then again a lot is missing. the salespage doesn'ttell me WHO I am buying from (You)

    There are no contact info, no terms, No header, and the fonts are jumping around - and pictures - you need pictures !

    My best advice would be to spend the money on a copywriter - let them do what they do best - Make an apealing sales copy for you.

    I am dead sure you can find a copywiter in here, what will not charge you a lot. It seems like you have a very needed product ( She says as a woman :-) so invest in the salespage and be proud afterwards.
    good Luck :-)
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Hi guys,

    Again, thank you all so much for your comments and input. I never expected to get this much amazing advice, and I am sincerely grateful to each and every one of you for it.

    In regards to some questions:

    James - the price drop has not helped with sales, although to be honest I didn't expect it to.

    Tina - I have links to contact info and a privacy statement at the bottom of the page.

    MaskedMarketer brought up the "Female Orgasm Revealed" site, which is actually my strongest competitor (I'm not sure if I can even USE that word when I'm doing this badly, but indulge me here). Their affiliate manager says their site is converting at ~3% - whether that's 3% of ALL VISITORS or just 3% of those that hit the actual sales page after passing through the squeeze page, I'm not sure. Just thought I'd bring that up so that there's a point of comparison of how it "should be done" here

    On a slightly different note, I think this is a really interesting (secondary) study on receiving advice. In this thread alone I have heard several people say that graphics are the major problem and several others say it is not. Some believe the major issue is the benefits, some believe it is positioning. Interestingly one poster mentioned that I should remove all pain and focus on the positives; another suggested focusing MORE heavily on the pain.

    I'm just bringing this up to point out how wildly advice can vary from person to person. Not all these people can be right about everything (given some that views are diametrically opposed) but I still find it fascinating that there are so many different answers to such a complex problem.

    That point alone was a bit of a major realization for me this year, and hopefully it will help others understand that often, there is no clear "right answer"; at least, if there is, I'm having trouble finding it!

    Having said that, although it will obviously take a lot of time, I'm going to do my best to test out some of these changes to see if it does or does not help. I'll ensure that I keep this thread updated (unless anyone is opposed to it) to let you all know what exactly the problem was. Maybe it would make a really useful case study for some of you who teach copywriting (or even for your own personal perusal).

    Having said all that, I do hope that, if you feel so inclined, you continue to offer your views on this subject; this thread has certainly already given me heaps to think about and act on, and I'm eternally grateful for that.

    -Dan
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    • Profile picture of the author JamesMSpacey
      Great observation about advice! I've always though you've got to invite as much as you can get and then in the end go with what YOU feel you should do. I look forward to catching any follow up posts you make. JMS
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      • Profile picture of the author MontelloMarketing
        Dan,

        The reason the advice varies so widely is due to the advice givers.

        If I were you I'd check around a little to see who in this thread actually make money doing this. I can tell you it's barely a handful.

        Do some digging... and you'll be able to spot the worthless... counter productive advice.
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        • Profile picture of the author Robert_Rand
          I find it very interesting how everyone keeps saying "Add pictures!"

          Ummm ok, fine... but it's also important to know that one very well known company in the same niche (or at least a VERY similar one) does millions every year with NO PICTURES.

          I actually do agree - images can help; but that's hardly "the answer"

          Also, to anyone who's never sold anything on Clickbank before...

          The charge always shows as "Clickbank*com" regardless of what the product is...

          Of course, it's definitely a good idea to mention that privacy is assured (as you did)
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          • Profile picture of the author dadeon
            I think you need a bit of Frank Kern on your website.

            You got to create a desire for your product by not focusing on the product. You are obviously trying to sell the product and not the outcome.

            For heaven's sake - you are selling sex mate. Make it exciting and sell the sex and forget about selling the product. that happens automatically once you've created enough desire.
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    • Profile picture of the author MaskedMarketer
      Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

      MaskedMarketer brought up the "Female Orgasm Revealed" site, which is actually my strongest competitor (I'm not sure if I can even USE that word when I'm doing this badly, but indulge me here). Their affiliate manager says their site is converting at ~3% - whether that's 3% of ALL VISITORS or just 3% of those that hit the actual sales page after passing through the squeeze page, I'm not sure. Just thought I'd bring that up so that there's a point of comparison of how it "should be done" here
      Daniel,

      If your competitor is getting 3% conversion and the testing has already been done- then you can model what is already out there, but also put your own twist on it (differentiate yourself).

      Your sales page has no authority and is not credible. How is your audience going to trust you when they dont know who you are? Whats your story? Who are you? What makes you an expert/authority on this subject?

      Notice in the example I give, this lady has a story behind the reason shes selling her report/book ect. She has positioned herself as an "expert", to a degree.

      Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

      On a slightly different note, I think this is a really interesting (secondary) study on receiving advice. In this thread alone I have heard several people say that graphics are the major problem and several others say it is not. Some believe the major issue is the benefits, some believe it is positioning. Interestingly one poster mentioned that I should remove all pain and focus on the positives; another suggested focusing MORE heavily on the pain.
      I didnt read your letter entirely, but if your not converting at all you may need to make changes and tests in all these areas. (or maybe your traffic sucks?)

      Graphics, images, and colors do matter. Words can create visuals within a persons mind, but the way the brain processes a visual image is different than if a person reads a letter and creates pictures in there mind. Selling a product to attain more and greater sex with out using pictures is pretty lame and boring. The right pictures can create a postive emotional response in your prospect.

      The positioning is part of your problem.. and positioning is very important when it comes to marketing and branding.

      You should always focus on a specific pain of your target audience (there problem). The positives and pleasures come from the solution and from using your product. If the prospect isn't aware of the problem (there pain) then they may not understand why or how important your solution is (the pleasure and positives associated with your product).
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      • Profile picture of the author Naysie78
        Originally Posted by MaskedMarketer View Post

        Daniel,

        Graphics, images, and colors do matter.

        Indeed. But considering the subject matter, try not to have Traci Lords on the page!
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Vin,

    I appreciate your advice. Thankfully, I've been around long enough (read: heard enough bullshit) to have somewhat of an idea whether or not I can take advice from a specific person. I'm still not one of those people who can instantly tell, of course, but I can usually spot a fake. Usually.

    For what it's worth, I'm taking your advice very, very seriously, and in fact it is the first change I am going to make, and to be honest, the one that I believe will make the most difference.

    Essentially I think what you put in your last post was what I was trying to say in a "nicer" way.

    For the benefit of those reading this thread, who are perhaps a little less experienced with liars and con artists as I am, I thought I'd mention my thoughts on the subject (since the discussion seems to be heading this way):

    It's pretty obvious that some people in this thread are speaking from experience, and others are just taking a stab, and others are just reciting what they think they should be saying, or presenting a possibility as a fact.

    Obviously speaking from experience is often the best (although this can be an issue if these experiences have not been conclusions that have been logically reached with evidence or a thought process behind them). However, for most "successful" people, their experience is usually a good knowledge base.

    There's nothing wrong with taking a shot, though, so long as you acknowledge it as such. Ideas have to come from somewhere and dreaming up new and interesting ways of doing things helps keep things fresh and energetic. Obviously there are a lot of different levels of risk on an idea, here, but I believe that even "crazy" ideas can be worth a shot, depending on circumstances, of course.

    In this specific instance, I think some of the people "taking a shot" may have provided useful advice. I'm not sure if it will make a difference, or not, but to my mind you never really know until you test (although if you're good you can probably have a fair idea). Obviously I'm not one of those people who "just know", so testing is more important to me than it probably is for someone who is better at this game. Even if those changes don't have positive results, I think they'd be worth testing.

    Then we have the people who "fake it until they make it" which is an unfortunate but ever-present part of the internet marketing community. I've taken advice from more of these people than I really want to think about, and a lot of them have a little bit of money off me (though I never invested too heavily in them, and maybe that contributed to the calibre of person I used to get?) Even their "free" advice can cost you a lot of money.

    The only reason I'm writing this is because I think that this thread is a great case study of this kind of dynamic, and it's something I wish I would have known earlier. So I'm just sharing my thoughts. Some of you may find it useful, some of you no doubt will not, but I thought it would be better to put my thoughts here than to not say it at all.

    -Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    By the way, Vin, is there a reason you have two pages with the same content in your signature? I thought the "Godfather" one was pretty cool, but obviously my opinion should be taken with a grain of salt!

    -Dan
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    • Profile picture of the author MontelloMarketing
      Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

      By the way, Vin, is there a reason you have two pages with the same content in your signature? I thought the "Godfather" one was pretty cool, but obviously my opinion should be taken with a grain of salt!

      -Dan
      lol... actually yes and no. It began as a split test around a year ago... then it became a forgotten element. Now it's going to soon reemerge as an alternate brand/biz model.

      Big news on it soon.
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  • Profile picture of the author barnsng
    Dan,

    Many people have given their suggestions to you. What you need to do is add...change some stuff in your copy. Do some testing on it.

    (I am assuming you have the right traffic coming to your sales copy.)

    Whether the advice are worthless or counter productive, just take it with a pinch of salt until you have tested it.

    Some advice are from a copywriter's point of view while others could see the copy from a reader's perspective.

    Test.
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  • Profile picture of the author BigBenForCanton
    Look, can all you fake wannabe marketers stop writing 'HOW-TO BREAKTHROUGHS' with elementary-school level spelling and grammar errors. Please, it's absolutely mind-numbing. Yet another person who can't grasp the incredible than/then concept. THAN IS COMPARING. THEN IS FOR TIME. You'd be better off beating your head against a wall THAN pretending you know how to write. THEN, you get on with your life's work.

    Your sales copy blows partially because you can't spell. One sentence starts with the word with what 'affects' one, won't 'effect' another person. You can't even get continuity in a two-sentence sequence. Yeah, I just can't wait to buy from you. What else do you sell?
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Ben,

    Firstly, you obviously have some issues you need to work through with a therapist. Seriously.

    Second of all, Mike Filsaime makes millions every year, and his spelling is terrible. I remember reading at one point that he actually has stopped proof-reading his emails now because it's his "thing" (not sure whether he said he thought it helped his efforts or not).

    Everyone makes typos dude. Maybe you should spend your time in anger management as opposed to yelling and screaming.

    Also, assuming someone doesn't know what they're talking about because of a few spelling or grammar errors, well, that's just plain stupid.

    Ironic that you edited your post for spelling, though, when you're complaining about other people's spelling.

    And if you're such a grammar perfectionist, why don't you edit all the unnecessary capitals and missing punctuation etc in your signature?

    There are some people in this thread whose advice I'm going to safely ignore. I'm pretty sure you go into that category.

    -Dan
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    • Profile picture of the author BigBenForCanton
      Originally Posted by Daniel Scott View Post

      Ben,

      Firstly, you obviously have some issues you need to work through with a therapist. Seriously.

      Second of all, Mike Filsaime makes millions every year, and his spelling is terrible. I remember reading at one point that he actually has stopped proof-reading his emails now because it's his "thing" (not sure whether he said he thought it helped his efforts or not).

      Everyone makes typos dude. Maybe you should spend your time in anger management as opposed to yelling and screaming.

      Also, assuming someone doesn't know what they're talking about because of a few spelling or grammar errors, well, that's just plain stupid.

      Ironic that you edited your post for spelling, though, when you're complaining about other people's spelling.

      And if you're such a grammar perfectionist, why don't you edit all the unnecessary capitals and missing punctuation etc in your signature?

      There are some people in this thread whose advice I'm going to safely ignore. I'm pretty sure you go into that category.

      -Dan
      First of all, the signature area has limited space, so you have to be aware of that. Just because other people have horrid grammar and 'make money' doesn't mean you should model yourself after that insane logic.

      Nothing 'ironic' about editing a post. I made an error, and after reading over the post, had to go back and change something. That's called revising and editing, no 'irony' at play there.

      If you think how you speak and spell has no bearing on how you're received by your audience, then you need to have your head examined. It kills your credibility and credibility is paramount in sales and marketing. And if that's news to you, then notice what Mr. Montello wrote about credibility.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Lam
    You go, Dan.
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  • Profile picture of the author CPA For Food
    Banned
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    • Profile picture of the author TimCastleman
      You guys are so right.

      It is all about images and video.

      Forget about deciding if there is even a market or need/want for the product.

      Forget about branding yourself as a trusted adviser or expert in the category.

      Forget about spending an extra hour or two and offering your clients something more than just a ebook.

      Forget all that - put a photo of some hot ladies and the world will be yours

      :-(
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  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Lam
    I don't think everyone is saying it in that much of an extreme instance. We're saying that as in ADDITION to what could help contribute to increasing conversion. No one here is stupid enough (at least I hope not) think that it's the ONLY reason products sell. There are MANY elements involved to make a product sell.

    Dan pointed out that there is a huge array of advice that actually contradict each other. Here's the thing, copywriting isn't just ONE WAY. There are multiple avenues and combination of many different things at different times for different situations for different products and market.

    You can't promote "how to have better sex" the same way you sell a "red diamond grape fruit." The desire and want is different. The market is different. The position is different. There are many specific things that WORK, but it doesn't mean that it's the only way.

    "Can't we all just get along?" LOL.
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  • Profile picture of the author blythebabe
    In my humble opinion, the headline alignment is hard to read. And the font type is also difficult to read.

    Change each variable at a time and then test. That's the best way to find out if your change is helping your conversion.
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  • Profile picture of the author RichardBravo
    ok daniel...
    I did some quick research on this.
    First, you've chosen a bit of a controversial topic so that may be hurdle #1 in and of itself.

    Secondly, based on the trending data, the product itself sucks in regards to conversions. Sorry to be so blunt, but as an affiliate marketer myself, I wouldn't have touched this product in the first place, simply based on the data; which clearly paints a picture of a product that has all but stalled, nose dived, crashed and burned. Hurdle #2 and probably your primary issue.

    As for the sales page itself, it's pretty weak. An absolutely bleak canvas of monotonous verbiage. You would think with such a "hot" topic a little spice could have been sprinkled in to the mix here or there to help keep the reader awake. Hurdle #3

    If this was baseball, you'd be out! Which sounds like that call has already been made in this inning.

    I would trash the campaign and stop bashing yourself in the head with your bat... you're gonna need that noggin for the next inning.

    In the words of a great song writer...

    "You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em. Know when to walk away and know when to run."

    My suggestion... walk away. There are way more profitable campaigns to be had. Never get stuck on one campaign or another. Find what works and do more of that.

    Good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author tf8252
    8% of Visitors click the buy now button (80 out of 1000)
    but only .05% Check Out??

    So 75 out of 80 bail?

    Can't be right.

    I recommend you add click-tracking to this sales page (crazyegg.com)
    because you probably have people clicking on the BOOK IMAGE hoping for some
    "revealing demo images". You are taking people who click on the book
    to your shopping cart.
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  • Profile picture of the author Christie Love
    Well, it sounds like you've gotten plenty of comments regarding your sales copy. My question is what are you doing to get targeted traffic to your site? How many unique visitors are you getting a day?
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  • Profile picture of the author freefor15.com
    I would say that it is partly due to with the subject matter. I feel (in my opinion remeber) that many people won't buy a product that isn't physical. They will read ablog and buy a product or something indirectly related to the subject matter. I say get a blog going and have a few side products to sell

    they might have a higher conversion rate
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  • Profile picture of the author Jon Steel
    I would agree with comments above stating your copy is air tight. However, your page isn't graphically pleasing. You could drop a couple seductive images in there to hold your prospect's interest. Anything more than just words.

    Another thing I noticed about myself. I am not the fastest reader in the world, but it takes me longer than 4:30 to read your entire sales message. How long does it take you? I would say that people read so far then maybe get bored (no seductive images). It is a VERY long sales message for a $25 dollar product. I'm willing to bet some people only read so much, then scroll all the way to the bottom to see how much it costs - its what i did.

    However, when they do this, they aren't hit with the powerful call to action and your message loses its effect. Personally - I would say your message is way to long to hold your prospects attention without "thought provoking images." After all - your target audience is men.

    However, this is just my take...

    js
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  • Profile picture of the author BillOliver
    Ken mentioned:
    1) "Maybe... but shopping cart abandonment rates can be amazingly high... although not usually this high." Can you check with others in the sex industry? My gut feeling that it just COULD have extraordinarily high shopping cart abandonment.

    2) Motivationally, I think there are are only two approaches you can take which work
    a) medical/clinical ... in which case you need to be a sex therapist/doctor etc. You need confirmation from an authority plus diagram etc
    b) almost soft porn ... with barely clothed raunchy women etc.
    I hate to say it, but a percentage of your clients would be married adulterers.
    In this case the LAST thing they want may be follow up e-mails!
    That bonus is a complete turn off!

    SOLUTION: Find a respectable sex therapist without an online presence and get them to endorse you. Can bump up the price so they get a cut too.
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    Bill Oliver (B.Bus. Banking & Finance, Computing)
    Sales Writer/Marketing Coach, Resume: www.billoliver.net
    NICHES: Financial Sector, Sales & Services, Brick & Mortar SMEs.
    btw I'm an Australian living in Malaysia & a 1978 Fiat X1/9 owner.
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  • Profile picture of the author WCA
    Here is my input, and hopefully this helps.

    There are two psychological factors that are going to effect your conversion rate when it comes to a product/sales page like this, especially yours.

    1. The man doesn't feel his sexual partner doesn't enjoy sex. The majority of men already believe, at least in their own minds, that they are great in bed sexually. This means they don't want your product, care about your product, etc.... but are probably reading your sales copy to see if there are any tips you can offer to make them just a little bit better. Then they click and aren't willing or don't believe the money is worth it for just a tip or two they already probably know because they are so awesome.

    2. They are afraid that if she wants it all night, or if it is that good for her, he won't be able to keep up and perform in order to keep her happy. So why waste the money on something that will only make him look bad in bed.

    This is a touchy subject for men because they want to be great, believe they are, and don't want anyone or anything that tells them otherwise.

    Also, as mentioned above, it's just not appealing in terms of imagery. The black background does nothing emotionally to get men involved with the sales copy and excited about what you offer and wanting to have what you offer.

    In addition, there are other factors that could seriously be effecting your conversion rates.

    1. What is your target market? Our experience with this type of market is that it usually consists of men on the fringes of society so to speak. Computer nerds, tech geeks, gothic looking types. Those that can't pick up women very easily and are willing to admit it, but are also willing to look for solutions to solve it.

    2. Are you attracting your target market? I don't know what your advertising strategy and overall tactics are, but if your not using the right methods to attract the right men, you aren't going to convert. An article on how to blow her mind will attract a different mindset and market than an article on 3 tips to go from geek to chic.

    My guess is that you aren't hitting and attracting the right market first of all, so the sales copy isn't the problem, it's the lead generation methods you are using.
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  • Profile picture of the author MyOnlineSuccess
    How much testing have you done on this page?

    It definitely does not "grab me by the eyeballs" when I first see it. You really need to work on that first impression. Maybe a wild picture of a woman having an orgasm with a headline saying "This could be your girlfriend" or something like that.

    You really have to focus more on the PROBLEMS that your prospcts have. Why would someone want to buy your product?

    Surely it's not to pleasure their girlfriend. What it really is is that fear that most guys have that they are not "good enough" in bed.

    You need to camp out in their worse nightmare. Play with things like "you are probably not the best sex she's ever had" or "why is she probably faking every orgasm".

    Also, you need to test a simple landing page with a free report. These kinds of ebooks usually sell much better on the back end via email. You need to proof that you know what you are talking about before they will trust you enogh with solving their very intimate problem
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