Can YOU Figure Out Why This Copy Is Not Converting?

I'm no copywriting expert, so I'll avoid commenting on that, but I might think that will be a tough subject to sell to. As someone who's interested in the secrets your product claims to offer, I'm exceptionally skeptical of things like that in the sex field. The deck is stacked against you selling such a product to me and no matter how good the copy, you may never succeed simply because I feel it's a "probably scam" type subject (I'm sure it isn't - I'm just extolling my thoughts).

I'll probably read the entire letter hoping to gain some ideas, or imagine how awesome I could be with a woman (hence the 4:30 attention span) and then click to see the price, but after that, I'm most likely out of there because it's not a subject I really trust. There are too many sex-related scams filling my inbox/etc. and I've become almost immune to persuasion in that subject after chugging dozens of bottles of enlargement pills and still not dragging on the ground

Just my 2 cents. Other more experienced people may provide contrasting viewpoints, but that's just my honest opinion from a non-marketing/potential customer type viewpoint.

Daniel, your copy isn't the problem - it's your visual interest to the audience. It's SOOOOO boring. After a brief skim of your page, the content isn't that bad, but specific parts of your page needs to be emphasized better. Nothing really jumps out.

Think about this question, is the integrity of your website professional?

This is important, because the appearance triggers the visitor's interest and the content keeps the visitor's attention.

Let me say that again, "the appearance triggers the visitor's interest and the content keeps the visitor's attention."

If people aren't interested in the first place, why would they care what is being said on your page? There's nothing on your page that would make a reader want to actually read. So spruce up your site a bit. What do you have to lose?

Vin,

I appreciate your advice.

It's nice that my copy isn't horrible. That may sound sarcastic, but I'm serious here. I'm trying to learn to write better copy, but it's a pretty slow process.

Would you be able to impart any wisdom or advice you have on "positioning", or resources that can explain this is a little more detail? Or any advice you may have in this specific instance?

Do you think a simple price drop (and then using the product to essentially create a "list" of buyers and then work on upsells etc) is the way to go, and increase the price when I am more "known" in this niche? I'm just thinking out loud here, essentially; I'm not to knowledgable about how to actually go about this. I'm happy to buy any resources you may have on the subject, though (if you do produce any; I don't know).

Incidentally, do you have any specific comments about the copy?

Thanks again for taking the time to look over it.

-Dan

8% click the order link and only .05% order?

I find that a little bit shocking but if that really is the case then I'd test different text on the Clickbank order page.

Try changing "Incredible In Bed Electronic Book" to something like "Ultimate Sex Secrets Revealed - Complete System With Bonuses"

Robert,

I know, it seems kind of weird. My guess would be that I'm just not creating that "MUST HAVE" drive there or something else is going on. But I don't know (hence why I'm asking you guys for help).

I might try your suggestion though - thanks!

-Dan

Hi Ken,

Good points.

I another good idea.

This is why I love this forum!

-Dan

How about focus on Opt-ins with a free report about
"3 Mindblowing TurnOns You can Put To Work in the
Bedroom Tonight!"

Then you've automatically moved it out of the seduction
niche for many dudes and into the relationship-improvement
niche. That's part of positioning - shoot for a target you
can hit. Then upgrade as you go with email.

Like probably 50% of the adults out there have at least
perused a book or two on better sex - so assuming people
are clueless or haven't heard about what works is
not accurate.

By the way - your copy brings to mind images of hardbodies -
like a bodice-ripper novel. the truth is a lot of people don't see
themselves that way but they would like to have better sex -
so I feel your copy basically excludes people who don't
see themselves as young, athletic and full of sexual energy.

It's the FEELING of the thing, see?

Loren,

Thanks for your thoughts. Those are some good ideas.

Vin,

I appreciate your advice. When you say "paying clients", do you mean the people who hire you to write for them? Or do you sell a course on this kind of information?

Can anyone recommend some good books I can read (or courses to buy etc) to get me more into this kind of thing?

-Dan

Well, it seems as though you've lowered the price. That's a good start.

As for copywriting books... I would suggest going to Amazon and buying them ALL!

Daniel,

I've learned, though much trial and error, that you've got to make every word of a sales letter work for you. Excess verbiage wears the reader down. So let's trim your headline so there's nothing left but lean muscle.

But before we change even one word, let's be honest here about how we guys view sex. In its simplest terms, more is better than less, sooner is better than later. Okay? So there's an immediacy here that needs to be addressed (I want it now) and a quantity issue (I want lots of it).

Now let me ask you a question. Do you know the ratio of men to women who've bought your product? I ask only because in my experience, women will buy something like this for their men far more often than men will buy it for themselves. Why? Men have egos. We all think we're galloping stallions. We'd never admit to needing a course on being better in bed.

We're also a little selfish. We tend to be more concerned about getting our own rocks off than satisfying our women. So even though you're selling a product for men, chances are women will be the primary buyers. I notice you don't have one testimonial from a woman, which makes all your testimonials suspect. Be careful.

Now, finally, to the headline ...

"Give Me Five Minutes, and I'll Reveal How You Can"

You just lost half your audience. We're talking about sex here. Forget the "how to" stuff. I don't want to learn. I want o experience.

I can replace those first nine words (and a conjunction) with a single word that'll set the stage both emotionally and practically.

"Tonight ..."

Can you sense the expectation?

Now let's nix that word "partner." It's a business word. It's a public word. It's everything but a bedroom word. "Baby" would work well, but it's too early to introduce that one. You've got to establish some intimacy first. I like "woman" as in "she's my woman." Very posesive. Almost neanderthal. Okay so far? Let's move on ...

"That Are So Good"

Why not simply "So Good" or "So Powerful" or "So Mind Blowing" or "So Devastating". Pick up a thesaurus and put it to good use. Just nix the "That Are." Extra baggage.

Here's what we have so far ...

"Tonight ... Give Your Woman Wild, Uncontrollable Orgasms, So Powerful ..."

Okay. Not bad. Now ... just how powerful are those orgasms?

"So Powerful ... She'll Literally Be BEGGING You For Sex The Next Day"

Has a woman ever begged a man figuratively or metaphorically? Ummm ... no! So we don't need that word "literally." All begging is literal.

And now for a quick change of tense. Turn "be begging" into simply "beg." Now you have an action verb. Much more powerful.

One more change ...

Remember what I said earlier about immediacy? Guys want sex now. Guys don't want to hear about "Sex the Next Day" even if his woman will be begging for it. The neanderthal mind says, "heck, she can beg me right now!"

So we'll turn "the Next Day" into "All Night Long."

The final product ...

"Tonight ... Give Your Woman Wild, Uncontrollable Orgasms ... So Powerful ... and She'll Beg You For Sex All Night Long"

Here's a slightly different version ...

"Tonight ... Give Your Woman Multiple Orgasms, Each More Earth Shattering Than the Last ... and She'll Beg You to Do It All Night Long"

Now you have a headline loaded with benefits and you're building anticipation that these benefits can be realized tonight. And the best part is you haven't even hinted that you're selling something.

Do you see why the little details count so much? And all this was just for the headline.

Change your perspective. Be less technical. Get more emotional. More sensual. Reading the first few sentences in your sales letter is like taking a survey. Imagine being stopped on a street corner by a college student holding a clipboard. Know what I mean?

Hit the ground running with something like this ...

When was the last time your woman breathlessly pleaded with you: "please baby, just one more time!"

Tell these guys there's this untapped storehouse of boiling testosterone waiting to be unleashed ... and their women want it! Cut the negative crap out of your letter. Focus on the positives and the end result.

Take care,
Roger

I went through the copy. The text is relentless, it hammers the message at you. As pointed out visitors would look for hints of the secret that's why they are there for 4:30.

If you do a two-question, six answer survey ( put dot in one of three buttons )
to get access to a FREE VIDEO ( which will be testimonials from women and men - scrape it from anywhere ) and the questions are:

You are:
x A man
x A woman
x A woman looking to read this with your man

x Under 25
x 26 - 40
x Over 41


You you will find you need 9 pages to get the conversions WAY up.
Use photos and videos of people IN THE DEMOGRAPHIC they indicate.



If this is not your product, you can SCRAPE the publisher's page and spin it.
If this IS your product, put an ad in your local college newspaper:

Seeking women 18 -35 for clinical study.
We provide you a brochure with instructions
to increase your orgasmic response and you
return in a week to provide a report of your
results. No pay but learning this will give you
A gift that keeps on giving!

You can then get your video testimonials
You can offer to hide their identities if they
wish. Expect an 80% flake rate.
( That is, 80% of the women who agree to
come for the brochure ( no pun ) will not
show up and 80% who take the brochure
will not return to provide testimonial )

Get a contract signed
Mak it non-disclosure - they are legally
not allowed to share the information.
They are compelled to return in a week
( or two ) to provide a report by filling
out a questionaire in exchane for the
info received which is valued at over
$500.

Some may say "just give the fom now
and I'll take it back" - but tell them that
you need an interactive interview so
you can expand on certain questions.

Wow.

A lot of passionate debates here, seems like everyone has a different idea. That's awesome, and I'm glad to see it happen.

Regarding dropping the price, it is one factor that I have not tested yet, so I thought I would see if it would make any difference, primarily because it was a two-minute change and I had nothing to lose. I am taking steps to try and better understand how I can apply some of the advice mentioned here, but I'm pretty dopey, and sometimes things have to percolate for me.

I happen to agree with a lot of what has been said here; although, having said that, exactly WHICH factor is the one that will have the hugest impact, I'm not sure on. I SUSPECT that the biggest issue at the moment is making the prospect understand how much value this will add to their life, and positioning and credibility would, perhaps, be a big part of that.

I think that almost everyone who has contributed to this thread, however, has stated tips which will increase conversions.

Some info on my target market:

Primarily this is a product that is targeted at guys in long-term relationships who have understood there's a problem with their sex life, usually because they're not getting it anymore. I know one guy, actually, who even caught his wife WATCHING TV out of the corner of her eye while they were in the middle of it. So that's the hot buttons I've tried to hit here. Going from advice in this thread, I've made at least some progress with that.

Again, I want to thank EVERYONE who participated in this thread very, very much. A lot of this advice is invaluable and has given me a lot of specific points to go and work on, and that's priceless.

Having said that, if anyone has anything else to add, I'd love to hear it.

Kind regards,

-Dan

A couple of things run through my mind when I read the page.

1. I wonder...do I really care if she orgasms or not?

2. Do I really want her begging for more?

3. That's great, she's going to have multiple orgasms, but what about me? What's in it for me. To make this offer more compelling I would need something more than giving her orgasms. In my mind that is more of a feature than a benefit (but I am a male).

4. Something else you say is that "A whopping TWO THIRDS of women said they regularly faked having an orgasm, and that their man had absolutely NO CLUE that they HATED having sex with him." My question is, if we don't have a clue why would we buy a book? Why fix what isn't broken?

5. "What kind of changes do I think will happen in my life..." Yikes...I think she'll be bothering me for sex all the time. Do I really want that?

6. What if I turn her into an orgasm junkie and I can't keep up? Will she leave me for another guy?

7. "Wouldn't it be good to know that you're a true alpha male?" Not sure, if I were an alpha male would I even care?

8. I think it would be better if my lover could give me multiple mind-blowing orgasms.

9. Better still would be something on how I could get multiple women in my bed giving me multiple mind-blowing orgasms, and then be out the door quicker than two shakes of a lambs tail.

Someone asked a good question above. Do you know who buys this product? Women may be more open to buying this for their man.

Prove your claims with something free. Here's what I would probably do. Take the absolute best one or two techniques from your book and give them away in your sales copy. Show them what they will get. This will help your credibility.

Here is something else you could do. Opt them into a list that offers something like a free email course on improving their relationships, give them a bunch of good free stuff, and then every forth letter or so hit them with a sales pitch. This way you are giving them a lot of good free stuff and they are more likely to believe you when you tell them you have a product worth buying.

The above method would also set you up for more opportunities for backend sales.

On your current page, I don't get a sense of urgency. There is nothing that makes me want to get the product right now. After all, couldn't I just look around the internet or go to my local library and get this information for free?

Look for ways to package this as something very special that must be taken advantage of now. One idea someone suggested was to package this as a system. That is another idea. You could add some video or audio to your package and add a lot of perceived value.

To create immediacy you could say something like the author has negotiated higher royalties and you have to raise the price in x number of days. Or that you have been getting harassed by women's rights groups claiming that your product gives men an unfair power of persuasion over women and you don't know when you will have to yield to the pressure and stop selling the product. Maybe something like. Our web hosting company has threatened to close our account due to complaints by our competition claiming our product violates their acceptable use terms.

Don't take those literally. I was just using them as examples. The point is, think of creative ways to create a sense of urgency.

Who's your real audience?

17 year old acne-riddled lads with Paypal

They have the attention span of a newt. Make it half a page, put a pic of a hawt woman on there and thank me later.


B.

Personally, I don't think this is a market that will respond to the standard sales letter. And it needs to be highly visual. Put a pic or two of attractive women, and a picture of a couple holding hands where they look VERY well satisfied. Think about the target audience and tailor the pics accordingly. And as far as copy goes - for this market, less is more AND give something away. Abandon the sales letter totally and try something different - maybe sell the product on a static site of around 10 articles all with various related topics.

AnarchyAds, I wanted to make a point to thank you for the tip about a mini-survey that branches off into multiple sales letters for each market segment. I think that's a brilliant idea and I'd love to see a thread just about that one concept.

Daniel, think through the reasons why you might not buy something.

• Don't understand what it is supposed to do
• Understand what benefit it is supposed to result in, but don't believe it works
• Understand the benefit and believe it could result, but don't believe it's relevant for me
• Believe it could well work for other people, but not for me
• Believe the benefit, that it could work and that it's for me, but don't believe I could afford it
• Believe that I could afford something beneficial, but don't see that it's a good use of my money
• Believe it's a valuable use of my money, but placing the order seems to difficult or embarrassing

Could you take another look at your ad and figure out if your sales letter specifically addresses each of these concerns?

Then, could you look at your order page and find out if it reinforces the feeling and logic of the decision, while relieving any fear of buyer's remorse?

Regards,
Allen

Hey Dan

I thought I just check out your site and sale copy - like other fellow members have said, it's not a bad copy at all, and yes it does need some visual stimulation but if I say : let's look at it from the customers point of view and the current economic climate situation

People are currently are more worried about financial difficulties, rather than about having better sex, and unfortunately I guess you're in a very competitive market which is why it may not convert as much.

A possible idea is, maybe you could try out a squeeze page opt in form, where people can download a free preview chapter, or a preview report which will aid to entice them to buy your full ebook.

Obviously, once they have entered their email address etc... you could take them to an page, where you tell them that their ebook is on their way, and present them with an upsell offer to your full ebook.

If that is too much hassle, then maybe you could simply put a header on the page with the title of your eBook and see if that helps.

Also I noticed that the text with bullet points, listing what your ebook contains, is in a different font and size.

Some layout spacing would also be useful to break down some paragraphs, especially towards the latter half. The reason I mention this is that long paragraphs and sentences make it's very difficult for the reader to follow.

I personally find that a good way to check whether my potential reader will get lost or not, is to read out what it exactly says on the screen.

If you run out of breath, then you know your sentence is too long. This equates to a higher chance that your reader will get lost.

Hope that helps and that I didn't offend you or anyone else.

Best Regards

Just to correct a mistake I made in my first post, it should be "under 0.5%" not "under .05%". Still terrible, but slightly less terrible

-Dan

Your sales page has no images.
People purchase things because of emotions
You need some pictures that will stir peoples emotions for the desire to have unbelievable sex
Otherwise, your conversions will stay low no matter how good your content

I have learned a lot to you guys. Thanks for the great tips

Hi Daniel,

First, I'd be interested to know how/if things have changed from the lower price point. Personally I wonder whether you shouldn't increase the price (assuming your product is of a high quality). It seems to me that if your product delivers what it promises then that would be something most men would pay a lot more for. Anyway, could be worth a test?

Following on from the thought above about the potential value of your program, I don't think you're pushing the insecurity issue enough in your copy. Most men have massive performance anxieties and you could be targeting this with some real pressure so that it makes the reader feel the pain these insecurities cause them... People pay more and buy quicker when they feel desparate, urgent need. At the moment the copy seems to promise enhancement (i.e. improvement of already present confidence and skill..) You need to paint as wide a gap as possible between your product's outcome - confidence and skill - and the buyer's current situation - insecurity and failure. Does that make sense?

Hi Daniel
I have taken the time to check your salespage. Its actually NOt bad in terms of "what is needed in a salespage", and then again a lot is missing. the salespage doesn'ttell me WHO I am buying from (You)

There are no contact info, no terms, No header, and the fonts are jumping around - and pictures - you need pictures !

My best advice would be to spend the money on a copywriter - let them do what they do best - Make an apealing sales copy for you.

I am dead sure you can find a copywiter in here, what will not charge you a lot. It seems like you have a very needed product ( She says as a woman :-) so invest in the salespage and be proud afterwards.
good Luck :-)

Hi guys,

Again, thank you all so much for your comments and input. I never expected to get this much amazing advice, and I am sincerely grateful to each and every one of you for it.

In regards to some questions:

James - the price drop has not helped with sales, although to be honest I didn't expect it to.

Tina - I have links to contact info and a privacy statement at the bottom of the page.

MaskedMarketer brought up the "Female Orgasm Revealed" site, which is actually my strongest competitor (I'm not sure if I can even USE that word when I'm doing this badly, but indulge me here). Their affiliate manager says their site is converting at ~3% - whether that's 3% of ALL VISITORS or just 3% of those that hit the actual sales page after passing through the squeeze page, I'm not sure. Just thought I'd bring that up so that there's a point of comparison of how it "should be done" here

On a slightly different note, I think this is a really interesting (secondary) study on receiving advice. In this thread alone I have heard several people say that graphics are the major problem and several others say it is not. Some believe the major issue is the benefits, some believe it is positioning. Interestingly one poster mentioned that I should remove all pain and focus on the positives; another suggested focusing MORE heavily on the pain.

I'm just bringing this up to point out how wildly advice can vary from person to person. Not all these people can be right about everything (given some that views are diametrically opposed) but I still find it fascinating that there are so many different answers to such a complex problem.

That point alone was a bit of a major realization for me this year, and hopefully it will help others understand that often, there is no clear "right answer"; at least, if there is, I'm having trouble finding it!

Having said that, although it will obviously take a lot of time, I'm going to do my best to test out some of these changes to see if it does or does not help. I'll ensure that I keep this thread updated (unless anyone is opposed to it) to let you all know what exactly the problem was. Maybe it would make a really useful case study for some of you who teach copywriting (or even for your own personal perusal).

Having said all that, I do hope that, if you feel so inclined, you continue to offer your views on this subject; this thread has certainly already given me heaps to think about and act on, and I'm eternally grateful for that.

-Dan

Vin,

I appreciate your advice. Thankfully, I've been around long enough (read: heard enough bullshit) to have somewhat of an idea whether or not I can take advice from a specific person. I'm still not one of those people who can instantly tell, of course, but I can usually spot a fake. Usually.

For what it's worth, I'm taking your advice very, very seriously, and in fact it is the first change I am going to make, and to be honest, the one that I believe will make the most difference.

Essentially I think what you put in your last post was what I was trying to say in a "nicer" way.

For the benefit of those reading this thread, who are perhaps a little less experienced with liars and con artists as I am, I thought I'd mention my thoughts on the subject (since the discussion seems to be heading this way):

It's pretty obvious that some people in this thread are speaking from experience, and others are just taking a stab, and others are just reciting what they think they should be saying, or presenting a possibility as a fact.

Obviously speaking from experience is often the best (although this can be an issue if these experiences have not been conclusions that have been logically reached with evidence or a thought process behind them). However, for most "successful" people, their experience is usually a good knowledge base.

There's nothing wrong with taking a shot, though, so long as you acknowledge it as such. Ideas have to come from somewhere and dreaming up new and interesting ways of doing things helps keep things fresh and energetic. Obviously there are a lot of different levels of risk on an idea, here, but I believe that even "crazy" ideas can be worth a shot, depending on circumstances, of course.

In this specific instance, I think some of the people "taking a shot" may have provided useful advice. I'm not sure if it will make a difference, or not, but to my mind you never really know until you test (although if you're good you can probably have a fair idea). Obviously I'm not one of those people who "just know", so testing is more important to me than it probably is for someone who is better at this game. Even if those changes don't have positive results, I think they'd be worth testing.

Then we have the people who "fake it until they make it" which is an unfortunate but ever-present part of the internet marketing community. I've taken advice from more of these people than I really want to think about, and a lot of them have a little bit of money off me (though I never invested too heavily in them, and maybe that contributed to the calibre of person I used to get?) Even their "free" advice can cost you a lot of money.

The only reason I'm writing this is because I think that this thread is a great case study of this kind of dynamic, and it's something I wish I would have known earlier. So I'm just sharing my thoughts. Some of you may find it useful, some of you no doubt will not, but I thought it would be better to put my thoughts here than to not say it at all.

-Dan

By the way, Vin, is there a reason you have two pages with the same content in your signature? I thought the "Godfather" one was pretty cool, but obviously my opinion should be taken with a grain of salt!

-Dan

Dan,

Many people have given their suggestions to you. What you need to do is add...change some stuff in your copy. Do some testing on it.

(I am assuming you have the right traffic coming to your sales copy.)

Whether the advice are worthless or counter productive, just take it with a pinch of salt until you have tested it.

Some advice are from a copywriter's point of view while others could see the copy from a reader's perspective.

Test.

Look, can all you fake wannabe marketers stop writing 'HOW-TO BREAKTHROUGHS' with elementary-school level spelling and grammar errors. Please, it's absolutely mind-numbing. Yet another person who can't grasp the incredible than/then concept. THAN IS COMPARING. THEN IS FOR TIME. You'd be better off beating your head against a wall THAN pretending you know how to write. THEN, you get on with your life's work.

Your sales copy blows partially because you can't spell. One sentence starts with the word with what 'affects' one, won't 'effect' another person. You can't even get continuity in a two-sentence sequence. Yeah, I just can't wait to buy from you. What else do you sell?

Ben,

Firstly, you obviously have some issues you need to work through with a therapist. Seriously.

Second of all, Mike Filsaime makes millions every year, and his spelling is terrible. I remember reading at one point that he actually has stopped proof-reading his emails now because it's his "thing" (not sure whether he said he thought it helped his efforts or not).

Everyone makes typos dude. Maybe you should spend your time in anger management as opposed to yelling and screaming.

Also, assuming someone doesn't know what they're talking about because of a few spelling or grammar errors, well, that's just plain stupid.

Ironic that you edited your post for spelling, though, when you're complaining about other people's spelling.

And if you're such a grammar perfectionist, why don't you edit all the unnecessary capitals and missing punctuation etc in your signature?

There are some people in this thread whose advice I'm going to safely ignore. I'm pretty sure you go into that category.

-Dan

You go, Dan.

I don't think everyone is saying it in that much of an extreme instance. We're saying that as in ADDITION to what could help contribute to increasing conversion. No one here is stupid enough (at least I hope not) think that it's the ONLY reason products sell. There are MANY elements involved to make a product sell.

Dan pointed out that there is a huge array of advice that actually contradict each other. Here's the thing, copywriting isn't just ONE WAY. There are multiple avenues and combination of many different things at different times for different situations for different products and market.

You can't promote "how to have better sex" the same way you sell a "red diamond grape fruit." The desire and want is different. The market is different. The position is different. There are many specific things that WORK, but it doesn't mean that it's the only way.

"Can't we all just get along?" LOL.

In my humble opinion, the headline alignment is hard to read. And the font type is also difficult to read.

Change each variable at a time and then test. That's the best way to find out if your change is helping your conversion.

ok daniel...
I did some quick research on this.
First, you've chosen a bit of a controversial topic so that may be hurdle #1 in and of itself.

Secondly, based on the trending data, the product itself sucks in regards to conversions. Sorry to be so blunt, but as an affiliate marketer myself, I wouldn't have touched this product in the first place, simply based on the data; which clearly paints a picture of a product that has all but stalled, nose dived, crashed and burned. Hurdle #2 and probably your primary issue.

As for the sales page itself, it's pretty weak. An absolutely bleak canvas of monotonous verbiage. You would think with such a "hot" topic a little spice could have been sprinkled in to the mix here or there to help keep the reader awake. Hurdle #3

If this was baseball, you'd be out! Which sounds like that call has already been made in this inning.

I would trash the campaign and stop bashing yourself in the head with your bat... you're gonna need that noggin for the next inning.

In the words of a great song writer...

"You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em. Know when to walk away and know when to run."

My suggestion... walk away. There are way more profitable campaigns to be had. Never get stuck on one campaign or another. Find what works and do more of that.

Good luck.

8% of Visitors click the buy now button (80 out of 1000)
but only .05% Check Out??

So 75 out of 80 bail?

Can't be right.

I recommend you add click-tracking to this sales page (crazyegg.com)
because you probably have people clicking on the BOOK IMAGE hoping for some
"revealing demo images". You are taking people who click on the book
to your shopping cart.

Well, it sounds like you've gotten plenty of comments regarding your sales copy. My question is what are you doing to get targeted traffic to your site? How many unique visitors are you getting a day?

I would say that it is partly due to with the subject matter. I feel (in my opinion remeber) that many people won't buy a product that isn't physical. They will read ablog and buy a product or something indirectly related to the subject matter. I say get a blog going and have a few side products to sell

they might have a higher conversion rate

I would agree with comments above stating your copy is air tight. However, your page isn't graphically pleasing. You could drop a couple seductive images in there to hold your prospect's interest. Anything more than just words.

Another thing I noticed about myself. I am not the fastest reader in the world, but it takes me longer than 4:30 to read your entire sales message. How long does it take you? I would say that people read so far then maybe get bored (no seductive images). It is a VERY long sales message for a $25 dollar product. I'm willing to bet some people only read so much, then scroll all the way to the bottom to see how much it costs - its what i did.

However, when they do this, they aren't hit with the powerful call to action and your message loses its effect. Personally - I would say your message is way to long to hold your prospects attention without "thought provoking images." After all - your target audience is men.

However, this is just my take...

js

Ken mentioned:
1) "Maybe... but shopping cart abandonment rates can be amazingly high... although not usually this high." Can you check with others in the sex industry? My gut feeling that it just COULD have extraordinarily high shopping cart abandonment.

2) Motivationally, I think there are are only two approaches you can take which work
a) medical/clinical ... in which case you need to be a sex therapist/doctor etc. You need confirmation from an authority plus diagram etc
b) almost soft porn ... with barely clothed raunchy women etc.
I hate to say it, but a percentage of your clients would be married adulterers.
In this case the LAST thing they want may be follow up e-mails!
That bonus is a complete turn off!

SOLUTION: Find a respectable sex therapist without an online presence and get them to endorse you. Can bump up the price so they get a cut too.

Here is my input, and hopefully this helps.

There are two psychological factors that are going to effect your conversion rate when it comes to a product/sales page like this, especially yours.

1. The man doesn't feel his sexual partner doesn't enjoy sex. The majority of men already believe, at least in their own minds, that they are great in bed sexually. This means they don't want your product, care about your product, etc.... but are probably reading your sales copy to see if there are any tips you can offer to make them just a little bit better. Then they click and aren't willing or don't believe the money is worth it for just a tip or two they already probably know because they are so awesome.

2. They are afraid that if she wants it all night, or if it is that good for her, he won't be able to keep up and perform in order to keep her happy. So why waste the money on something that will only make him look bad in bed.

This is a touchy subject for men because they want to be great, believe they are, and don't want anyone or anything that tells them otherwise.

Also, as mentioned above, it's just not appealing in terms of imagery. The black background does nothing emotionally to get men involved with the sales copy and excited about what you offer and wanting to have what you offer.

In addition, there are other factors that could seriously be effecting your conversion rates.

1. What is your target market? Our experience with this type of market is that it usually consists of men on the fringes of society so to speak. Computer nerds, tech geeks, gothic looking types. Those that can't pick up women very easily and are willing to admit it, but are also willing to look for solutions to solve it.

2. Are you attracting your target market? I don't know what your advertising strategy and overall tactics are, but if your not using the right methods to attract the right men, you aren't going to convert. An article on how to blow her mind will attract a different mindset and market than an article on 3 tips to go from geek to chic.

My guess is that you aren't hitting and attracting the right market first of all, so the sales copy isn't the problem, it's the lead generation methods you are using.

How much testing have you done on this page?

It definitely does not "grab me by the eyeballs" when I first see it. You really need to work on that first impression. Maybe a wild picture of a woman having an orgasm with a headline saying "This could be your girlfriend" or something like that.

You really have to focus more on the PROBLEMS that your prospcts have. Why would someone want to buy your product?

Surely it's not to pleasure their girlfriend. What it really is is that fear that most guys have that they are not "good enough" in bed.

You need to camp out in their worse nightmare. Play with things like "you are probably not the best sex she's ever had" or "why is she probably faking every orgasm".

Also, you need to test a simple landing page with a free report. These kinds of ebooks usually sell much better on the back end via email. You need to proof that you know what you are talking about before they will trust you enogh with solving their very intimate problem