Can You Help Me With My Sales Page?

The order button is Kooky. Would maybe look better tilted the
other way because it points off the page. Don't do as I do
because my graphic design skills are spotty and sometimes ugly -
but try to add punch to your bullets with graphical check-marks
and things.

Go for 12 point or bigger. A lot of newbies are over 40 and have
a hard time with small fonts.

This is a generic sort of product so punch it up and make the letter
hyper-enthusiastic - and have loudish graphics too. An audio
or video could help.

You copy is dry. States the problems accurately but in terms which
are too general, making your product seem overly generic and dry
too. There is a rhythm factor to good copy - read some good writing,
poetry, pulp fiction or pop writing like Stephen King - it's crackling
rhythms that make prose engaging as much as what is said. Do try
to read good stuff and get inspired (not just good copy, good writing)
and then sit down and try to "feel" the rhythm.

I'm a musician and I sometimes read my copy and tap my foot
and feel the beats. It's just part of how I write now - but you
can develop this rhythmic sense and it makes your writing much
more fun and engaging, both to write and to read.

Wow,
Some really great tips already. I have written all of these down and will be making improvements to my page when I get the chance.

As I said I am a budding copywriter so all of this stuff is really helpful.
keep it coming

Hi Ryan,

It's gonna take more than a few tips to make this one compelling.

Take a step back. Let's start with the intended audience for your message. Internet Marketers, O.K. What's the mixture of men and women? What's the age range? What are these people hoping to accomplish - besides making money? Why does IM appeal to them? What are their hopes and dreams in life, not just in business? What are they afraid of? What keeps them up in night? What have they already tried? What are they willing to try next, and what will they never be willing to try?

How do you know this for sure, especially concerning the inner life of thoughts and feelings?

If they don't use your ebook approach, what else might they try? What are the competing strategies and tactics? Why is your approach better?

Now on to you. Without giving away your content, what makes you an ebook expert? Why is your experience important? What about your personality made it possible for you to discover what everyone else had overlooked?

Now, back to your audience. What will get their attention? Why choose that particular headline? How will you transition from the headline to your story? What will keep their desire active to stay with you through your explanation? What are ALL the benefits of your approach, including lifestyle and emotional benefits? What are the most important features of your offer and why do those really matter to your market?

What offers do your market members like to buy, over and over? What can you learn from those offers, and from the way they are successfully promoted?

With this homework done, you'll be ready to start writing a new letter.

Regards,
Allen

Get rid of the highlights and place your testimonial in a box. Plus your bullets are all over the place. they need to be aligned properly. Use spell check or a dictonary some words are misspelled. Copy is all about your customer not you. Get rid of the I's and make it all about your customer.

Headline is in the wrong place and so is your from and to.
Right now it looks like a cheesy squeze page that you would find on some traffic exchanges.
Better yet hire a web page designer