New Member Hello + Critique my offer

by adrian078 4 replies
Hi All,

I'll say sorry this is a bit long winded up front. Firstly, I've just joined this forum so hi all.

I'm rewriting my sales copy and trying to come up with a super offer and guarantee. Hopefully you marketing geniuses can help.

The product is a swimming pool cover & roller sold through an ecommerce store. Why customers buy it:

· Saves time in maintenance – prevents debris in the pool

· Extends the swimming season by warming the water

· Saves on water and chemicals evaporation

We’ve surveyed some customers and their main fears are:

· Bad quality and won't last – unable to see the product before buying

· Doesn’t fit, wrong size etc

· Unknown Company - doesn’t stand behind its product, bad service etc

One competitor offers a 3 year replacement warranty + a further 5 year pro-rata warranty (so essentially 8 years in total). This is a major brand and they charge about 3 times what we do. Our cover is a lower cost alternative and probably won’t last 8 years. A lot of competitors sell the high cost brand name. There aren’t that many that sell a lower cost alternative (except on eBay).

We’ve been selling the product for about 3 years and haven’t had many issues with it so far.

Our Previous Offer
60 Day Returns/1 Year warranty.

For the 60 day return, it’s only happened once and the customer measure incorrectly. The terms were the customer needed to return it at their expense & we’d only refund the item price (not the freight). The average freight cost is $40-$70. For the 1 year warranty, it was a replacement warranty and normally on seeing images, if there was an issue, we’d replace it for free. We don't get many claims at all.

So my idea for the offer/warranty are:
3 Year Replacement Warranty & 90 Day FREE returns (i.e we pay the freight both ways) – no one offers this.

I was trying to come up with some bonuses but I’m not sure what would be valuable but low cost. I thought maybe:

pool testing kit
chlorine tablets
maintenance guide

Any ideas or thoughts on bonuses or improving the offer would be great!


#copywriting #critique #member #offer
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  • Profile picture of the author BudaBrit
    I'll leave commenting on the product...

    Customers buy not because of features, which is what you've listed, but benefits. The first rule.

    So show them what they get from it first.

    Saves time in maintenance – prevents debris in the pool

    So What?

    Spend more time in the pool and less time cleaning it.

    For instance. Though as I'm just a beginner and haven't researched that, don't take it as rote.

    After 3 years selling it, you must have some good feedback on the benefits you may have missed too. Any user reviews?
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    • Profile picture of the author Tim Bazley
      Yes I agree with BudaBrit...

      Focus on the benefits which will be largely the same as your higher priced competitor and the additional benefit of your lower price.

      'Same a fraction of the cost'.

      Your guarantee still seems quite generous and nobody's going to expect you to give the same guarantee as a product selling for 3 times your price.

      Would any kind of trial period be possible? 'Try it for 30 days and get your money back if not totally satisfied!'

      They would then be able to see it's not a cheap and nasty product as they might be thinking.

      Hope that helps.
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      • Profile picture of the author Tim Bazley

        I didn't see your 90 day free returns guarantee so disregard what I said in my last post about that!

        I think your guarantee will cover two of your prospects' main concerns. You'll need some 'social proof' to deal with the trust issue.

        Have you got any testimonials, case studies and other good feedback from previous clients? If not, get some and include them in your marketing.

        Then I think you'll have it all covered.
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        • Profile picture of the author adrian078
          Ok thanks for the comments. I'll get back to it and incorporate your comments.
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