critique my sales page?

14 replies
Im sorry to take up forum space. Mods can delete this at will. The product sucked and the sales page sucks. Maybe I'll try again later, maybe I wont. Again, sorry to take up space on the forum and sorry to waste anyone's time who opened the thread or responded to me.
#critique #page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author serryjw
    Your on the right track (LOL) BUT you need graphics and fun typography. Your target audience in young...be playful. Too serious.
    Forgot to welcome you. I feel like an old timer.
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    • Profile picture of the author New Comer
      Originally Posted by serryjw View Post

      Your on the right track (LOL) BUT you need graphics and fun typography. Your target audience in young...be playful. Too serious.
      Forgot to welcome you. I feel like an old timer.
      I was kinda playful in the video lol! I guess it would help if I made some "secret stash" themed picture of the "drum kit" to go with it, I guess that's what I can work on next
      Signature

      dope

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  • Profile picture of the author TheSalesBooster
    I have no idea about this niche, but one thing was missing that I couldn't find anywhere on your site.

    Why should I buy YOUR drum kit?

    What sets your offer apart from any other drum kit out there?

    Tell your customer why your drum kit is better than what's already out there. Help them understand the value your drum kit will bring them. You really need a unique selling point.

    I only watched 1-2 mins of your video, but you did an important thing that should be highlighted on your website. You start dropping names of people who used your kit. I don't know who those people are, but your targeted customer might. So highlight those testimonials on your page.

    On a side note I did like your idea of giving away your older drum kit for free with a signup at the bottom. How ever you might want to split test taking that off the sales page. It might derail your current pitch and have them reaching for the free offer instead. So here's an idea you could test...

    If a user decides to leave your sales page you can have an exit popup that says something like... "Wait! I don't want you to leave without experiencing the amazing quality of my drum kits for yourself. Click cancel to get my previous drum kit for FREE!"

    That will at least give you a chance to get the customer on your email list before they leave without showing your free offer until you want too.
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    • Profile picture of the author New Comer
      Originally Posted by TheSalesBooster View Post

      I have no idea about this niche, but one thing was missing that I couldn't find anywhere on your site.

      Why should I buy YOUR drum kit?

      What sets your offer apart from any other drum kit out there?

      Tell your customer why your drum kit is better than what's already out there. Help them understand the value your drum kit will bring them. You really need a unique selling point.

      I only watched 1-2 mins of your video, but you did an important thing that should be highlighted on your website. You start dropping names of people who used your kit. I don't know who those people are, but your targeted customer might. So highlight those testimonials on your page.

      On a side note I did like your idea of giving away your older drum kit for free with a signup at the bottom. How ever you might want to split test taking that off the sales page. It might derail your current pitch and have them reaching for the free offer instead. So here's an idea you could test...

      If a user decides to leave your sales page you can have an exit popup that says something like... "Wait! I don't want you to leave without experiencing the amazing quality of my drum kits for yourself. Click cancel to get my previous drum kit for FREE!"

      That will at least give you a chance to get the customer on your email list before they leave without showing your free offer until you want too.
      GREAT points, thank you so much!!!

      I use weebly as the template for my website, so any ideas on how to do the pop up like that? I really like that idea because I am trying to weed out freebie seekers lol.

      Also, great point on why should they buy MY kit. I really didn't touch on that. I'll probably redo that video tomorrow and talk a bit more about people who used the kit and why my kit stands out. One thing I'm gonna go into more is my guarantee. Im scared people will just cop it and ask for money back but Im gonna try it out. I always read that its such a small percent that it's worth eliminating the risk.

      Im also gonna pick some people off my list and send them this new kit in return for testimonials.
      Signature

      dope

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      • Profile picture of the author claytonkeirns
        Hello there, I'm actually a copywriter and I can help you out my friend.

        Here are a few things:

        1. This needs a headline...NOW.

        A headline that clearly benefits the reader. Whoever it is. I have never sold in this market before, but I can imagine something like this might work:

        For people who want to create kick-@$$ drum tracks for [insert something here], for less than $20.

        I'd have to research the market and know WHO you're selling to, but thats a start.

        2. Benefits, not features.

        Take each of those features you list, and give a correlating benefit. For example, "More than 30 cymbals, so you can blah blah blah"

        3. Urgency

        I see you added some sense of urgency with "the next 25 people will get it for only $15", but try to "beat it up more". Make it more real.

        4. Guarantee

        Guarantee whatever you're selling. People will feel more confortable buying. Make it a radical guarantee.

        5. Add a bonus

        Bonuses really drive the sale a lot of time. Maybe add in a free special report "how you can use this guide to create better tracks" or something like that. Put a retail value of $15 and give it away for free.

        You could also tie the bonuses to deadlines too. "This bonus is only available until March 3rd"

        6. Reasons why

        I think someone else mentioned this, but yes, you need to give reasons WHY they should buy your products. Make a list like :"The 10 reasons you should get this drum kit"

        7. CALL TO ACTION

        Make sure you are clear with what they need to do next. Picture your prospects as big, fat slugs who are incapable of ordering themselves. Give them SPECIFIC instructions on waht to do, then tell them what will happen once they order.
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        "Forget about plan B, it takes too much focus off of plan A" -Will Smith

        "What's the 'Magic Bullet' that you have figured out?....Okay, what I would like you to do now, is to make a commitment to yourself to just give it away. Give it away to as many people as possible" -Eben Pagan

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  • Profile picture of the author Matt Ausin
    30 cymbals so you can create songs so magical it'll be like fairies tickling asshair of rainbow colored unicorns.

    Yeah, right. (Although if you can keep that up for the whole page, it might be worth testing.)

    You're competing with professionals. Even more, your market isn't unfamiliar with the concept of downloading shit for free.

    So YOU have to be a MASSIVE professional about this.

    Dig deep. Uncover why they REALLY want another set of quality samples. (and by the way... in this market, always stress the quality. They know about the fairies. Give them bit depth. Give them "each sample was run through hi end tube outboard gear". Give them substance instead of "carnival-barkering" them.)

    I think every musician wants to sound unique and recognizable. Maybe that's an angle worth pursuing?

    Here's a page that WORKS in that market. I'm sure you'll find plenty of others.

    Reason - Complete music making, music production and recording studio software - Propellerhead

    I wouldn't ever do a good 'ole "insert-your-favorite-dead-copywriter" sales letter in that niche. But then again... Always split test and don't take forum advice too seriously.

    P.S. And right now, if you want to know what's next, start by implementing the advice by the guy above. It's a solid start.
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  • Profile picture of the author New Comer
    thank you guys so much for the advice. I'm going to do everything that was suggested (while of course putting my spin on it) and post an update tomorrow.

    You guys are REALLY helping me out, so thanks a shit ton.

    It kinda sucks because Matt Ausin is 100000% right, my market kind of sucks. They know about downloading free shit, and about pirating and all that lol and they don't see it as wrong at all. I also have a limited access to good equipment lol. But forget all the negative I just need to work with what I got right now! With the help I got from everyone here though I think by this time tomorrow I'll have one kick ass sales page.
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    dope

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  • Here are some of the things my clients have done that have sold a lot of beats and music production video training:

    --Give away some sounds from the new kit right off the bat. Not the old kit. Let them download some free wav files to get a taste. Something like 10 of the drum sounds or 15 of the snares. Or,
    a sample platter of one or two of each category.

    --Create songs that use the kit to show how they sound in a track. If possible, do this with different programs- FLStudio like you have in your current video, Reason, Ableton, Cubase, etc.

    --If the artist allows it, show videos of the tracks they created with beats you sold them.

    --Flesh out the sales page with plenty of information. Telling is selling. Really detail the little things you do to each sound to make them stand out. Do this even if the techniques are something everyone does. In other words, make a "preemptive claim" about key production methods. They will seem special because no one else talks about them.

    Here is more about preemptive claims
    Jeffrey S. Francis - Marketing School
    http://www.warriorforum.com/copywrit...uila-usps.html and
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    Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
    - Jack Trout
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  • Profile picture of the author New Comer
    im thinking about taking the whole page down. Im thinking about quitting everything and just going to college. and doing this for fun. But i don't even know what to go to college for. I think I hate everything. I think I hate how society is. I think I hate all this selling and psychology bullshit. I think Im just bitter and hating right now lol. Idk what to do with my life.........but Im not sure if this is it. Maybe I should just enroll my self in a psych ward I think Im crazy lol
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    dope

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  • Profile picture of the author TheSalesBooster
    This business isn't easy. You can't just throw up a website and expect everyone to buy what you have to sell. If it were that easy we'd all be rich.

    This product probably wasn't the best idea, but we all have bad ideas at one time or another. You live and learn from your mistakes. That's how you grow and become better.

    Don't beat yourself up for trying. Just pick your ass up and try again.
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  • Profile picture of the author New Comer
    i think i have some serious issues i need to work out before i try and sell anything at all. If I could sell a product on how to feel like crap and suck at life I could make a pretty good product for that lol
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    dope

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  • Profile picture of the author Pusateri
    Every business starts out as a dream. We dreamers have visions of how things are going to be. I'll be able to have this. I'll be able to do that.

    But too often it doesn't work, and instead of living a dream, we're left with a scar.

    When I get together with friends who are in business, we swap success stories, but when we really get to laughing is when we roll up our sleeves and show our scars.

    "Can you believe I thought that would work?"

    "Took me two years to crawl out of that hole."

    "And I still owed the IRS $200k!"

    Failure and success are both temporary conditions. Being in businesses, like life, is a journey.

    There are certain people who will mock you for failing. They laugh when you get that wound that becomes a scar. It's probably their voices playing in your head that's bothering you the most right now.

    Well, they don't count. They were never in the game, and deep down they know the ones with the scars are made of something better.

    Those scars are like stripes on a uniform. The doers of the world recognize them and know who to salute.

    So congratulations. You got your first scar. You're in the best of company.

    You learned a lot, whether you know it or not, and your chance of success will be higher the next time around.
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  • I wouldn't beat yourself up. Like you said, this is a notoriously tough market. Everybody and their brother makes kits and beats.
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    Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
    - Jack Trout
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  • Profile picture of the author New Comer
    yeah I just want to re-evaluate and come at it again. Thanks a whole bunch to everyone who answered here. It's tough. It really is lol. I get so discouraged and I know it's all in my head, and I supposedly have this divine power to attract to my self whatever I let dominate my mind, so I just gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong and eliminate those negative programs.

    At least Im spending all my money on WSO, hosting, domain names, etc, and trying to do something with myself instead of spending it on drugs and sitting around doing nothing going in circles lol
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    dope

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