My first copy for you to critique :)

I appreciate the effort and I wish you all the best.

However, there's some points you could improve. I'll leave aside the ~100 words lenght and focus only on what you've wrote.

* Who is this for? People who've made little money in IM? People who've made no money? People who are making a decent income? Big money can mean a lot of things and it's not my job to think for you. My job is to buy or to leave.
* You know why. Why? I mean, why are you qualified? What makes you the expert?
* Plus, you say that you know why. I've heard this a million times.
* One little thing, essentially ... ? Don't cut your idea mid sentence.
* Why it's a secret, why are you giving it to me for free, why should you pay me, why should I believe you when this is too good to be true?
* By this point, I'm thinking that you are giving me money, just to make a note.
* You can't say that you give me money and give me a product instead. It's an insult to my intelligence.
* It's a tip or a secret?

To make it short ... sorry, no. This isn't just following any real salesmanship principles, AT ALL but it defies most rules of communication and persuasion. This would actually unsell your prospecct instead of selling it. More effective than this would be "Here's Your Free Report "The Essential ... Click Here To Download It".

Razvan

Sorry, but don't expect any conversions without redoing it entirely.

If we were judging your potential to be a copywriter simply based on what you wrote here, no.

But let's step away from that idea for a second.

Wanna know something? Your first attempt is better than my first attempt years ago when I got the glint in my eye and decided I wanted to write copy.

The first thing I wrote was a spec ad for Cheetos.... (and it was more than a little cheesy.)

It was god-awful.

Then I studied books, I studied under other copywriters, I worked as an in house copywriter, and frankly, I'm still studying. The learning never stops.

But now, if Frito-Lay came to me and asked me to write up somethin' for Cheetos, I'd give their creative department a run for their money.

Every copywriter had to start somewhere. And this is your somewhere.

Forget just throwing something together for now.

Pick up some books on the topic - There's The Ultimate Sales Letter by Dan Kennedy (Only $11 on Amazon)

It will give you direction and a baseline to start from.

Best luck

Judging your talents for copy based on a 2-minute post would be like
saying you can judge whether or not you'd make it to the NBA based on
one free throw or the MLB based on taking a swing at a batting cage.

If you can read, write, and follow directions, you can learn the training and
skills.

Good sales people, whether in person or print, are NOT born, they are
taught.

Anyone can become a good copywriter if they have the motivation to
learn.

It's not the skill that is usually the thing that's lacking, it's the drive, determination,
and motivation to learn copy.

The skills can be taught. Heck, there are more free books on learning good copy out
there than you'll ever need.

It all comes down to having the drive and motivation within you, to stick with it for years and years, sharpening your skills.

Knowing whether or not you have what it takes to become
a great copywriter really has more to do with your attitude and
motivation.

If you have those, then of course you could. Those would tell us
more than a few words you scribble down in 2 minutes.

The first step should be to correct the grammar.

You might disappoint people when the "secret" is "take action" (they've heard it 100's of times - it's almost become a cliche of a cliche - and nobody will ever beat Nikes "Just Do It").

Create a new phrase. Or emphasise the type of actions people need to take.

Also there's a big disconnect from your first line Have you ever wondered why you didn't succeed in making big money online? and the rest of the piece.

Because they obviously did "take action" and bombed.

You need to change the line (you could point out the "wrong" actions they took that led to the catastrophe and how you'll fix them so they can't crash ever again).

And give more spellbinding reasons to convince them to take the action you want - which is opt in and download the free stuff.

Maybe a couple of breathtakingly good tasters of what's in store for them.

They have to be so compelling or intriguing that your audience can't help but punch in their email details.

Something like this - like you I only spend 2 minutes on them and believe me a good bullet takes a lot longer.

* one action you shouldn't take - if you do it leads straight to bankruptcy

* the most critical action you must take (it's also the easiest) but only 1 in 10,000 people know about it - and when they do it means virtually instant success. It's so vital because when you do it you can't possibly fail.

You get the idea.


Steve

You're screwed.

Not because you're writing is terrible, but because your strategic thinking sucks.

THIS seemed like a good idea to you?

Brian <-- prickly

LOL - thanks for all the answers guys!

I started using the sticky resources here and boy is there a lot of good free stuff here..

One question to all of you:

If I wanted to have success in becoming a copywriter and make some actual money with it but only online work... What would be the path t follow and what would be my options that are completely doable after I gained some more copywriting skills & experience?

Thanks