My updated "Learn Guitar" landing page... W/ BRAND SPANKIN NEW COPY!

9 replies
Hi,

A week or two ago I had started a thread asking you to review my copy. You guys gave me some great pointers and I thank you. I have a new landing page and I was wondering if you could review it and tell me if it's any better.

Old landing page -

Guitar Ebook - I'll Teach You Everything I Know For Less Than The Price Of One Lesson!

BRAND NEW landing page -

Guitar Made Easy - A complete step by step guide to learning guitar

Thanks guys and please let me know!

JT
#brand #copy #landing #learn guitar #page #spankin #updated #w or
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Originally Posted by jt47000 View Post

    I have a new landing page and I was wondering if you could review it and tell me if it's any better.
    No.

    Neither are good: the second's slightly better structured than the first but it feels artificial - the writer clearly did minimal, if any, research. And there's at least a couple of spelling errors.

    Hopefully you didn't spend too much on it.
    Signature

    Andrew Gould

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    • Profile picture of the author DanteRomero
      Here's a few things to think about:
      -Why stairway to heaven? If that doesn't click with the reader... there is no sale... no desire to even read. Being more specific than saying "top hits" does get you closer to those who identify with it... but you are cutting out a huge # of people, I'd rethink that.
      -Ditch the fancy graphics. I'd focus on writing killer copy... only text. If not done well, graphics just distract from the copy.
      -i'd avoid being cute. the graphic with the apes evolving is amusing, but being cute doesn't sell. Advertising is just salesmanship in print.
      -your headline assumes they see information overload as a problem. This is just one example of how you are coming from your frame of mind and expecting they'll come to you (There are far more in this letter). Unfortunately... They won't. No one is going to take the time to decode your message. You must do the extensive research to figure out where they are at... what they need to hear...

      I could probably fill a page before I got past the letter's headline, so i'll stop. Biggest thing I can tell you is to do more research. That is where all beginner's skimp, until eventually they finally learn to do it.

      Get every ad ever written that sells what you are selling. Then go through all of them and take notes. Highlight and take down every benefit. Every feature. Note how they are selling it. Anything that comes to your mind (things will jump out at you in proportion to how much you've learned and are therefore able to notice. If you lack in that area, start picking up more books on copywriting, psychology and influence as well) Take all these notes into a big pile.

      Then use those to figure out how to sell yours.
      Signature

      "Perfection isn't important. Improvement is."

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  • Profile picture of the author CyberSorcerer
    Copywriting is a very involved subject and takes both a lot of years and constant practice to become good at it.

    Let me throw down a few areas to hit on.

    First RESEARCH your target audience. Who's going to be the person to buy this and why do they want it?

    Your showing a lot of videos on what YOU can play but not telling me much on what ME personally is going to learn. Some things are covered but vaguely.

    Ok here are some things to cover in good detail:

    1. Determine the main reason why people buy your product, from both an emotional and a logical level and target your sales copy toward them. Make them feel you're talking to them and that you KNOW what their needs are and how your book can help them.

    2. Why "emotionally" would I buy your product? You need to get me interested and believing that your book is EXACTLY what I'm looking for to help me with the exact problem I have playing guitar.

    3. Justify the above "emotional" condition through logic. Remember that "emotion" sells and logic justifies. First make me want your product then reinforce it with a reason, logically, to tell my wife or girlfriend why this is a good purchase and how it will benefit me.

    4. I do have your book yet so why should I believe it will help me? What is your credibility in teaching guitar? Assume you're in a court of law and have to defend everything you say. Will I believe you or will the judgement be me hitting the back button?

    5. Tell me a good story about you, your product, anything. People love stories and if you go studying other sales letters you'll see a story in each and every one. The good ones that is.

    There you have 5 good areas. In total there are about 32 categories which would take a complete course to cover. That's why I said 'copywriting' is a big topic to cover.

    Hope this helps steer you in the right direction.

    If I had the time I would love to cover more but yes, I work 7 days a week so I am busy even on Saturday. LOL
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  • Profile picture of the author CopywritingTony
    PS –I know some of you get a little eager and skip down to the juicy PS section, and we aren't ones to disappoint, so here goes! For the price of a movie ticket where someone else tries to blow up the White House and your ass falls asleep, you can begin learning guitar and have the intro to Stairway to Heaven licked in a few hours. That’s a no-brainer!
    Who says that I want to know how to play Stairway to Heaven?

    And I don't understand the following: "For the price of a movie ticket where someone else tries to blow up the White House and your ass falls asleep"

    Do some more research on your target market. John Carlton has two really good guitar ads that you can swipe.

    I have it on my hard drive, but it'll come up if you search for it via Google. Read that ad a few times and pay attention to the benefits he notes. You'll learn a ton from just reading it.
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    • Profile picture of the author JohnRussell
      Your headline eliminates everybody in your target market who has no interest in learning how to play stairway to heaven. I'd like to learn how to play guitar but I'd puke if it meant learning how to play stairway to heaven.

      And you might rethink selling something like this through JVZoo. That banner at the bottom will definitely lower conversions.

      JR
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  • Profile picture of the author CyberSorcerer
    And here I though 'Stairway To Heaven' was the first song every guitar player learned first.

    Yes I play but mostly keyboards now. I played lead guitar back in high school but I've gotten into Electronica the last few years. I also played keyboards for a local band here in Vegas. Picks are on my FB page.

    Yes I'm familiar with John Carlton, have a couple of his courses and meet him in person. Great guy and awesome copywriter.

    I'll keep checking back on your site to see how you are progressing. Hopefully some professional copywriters will stop by and give some advice. I many just study copywriting to do my own sales pages, and I'm not where close to a professional copywriter.
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    • Profile picture of the author CopywritingTony
      Originally Posted by CyberSorcerer View Post

      And here I though 'Stairway To Heaven' was the first song every guitar player learned first.

      Yes I play but mostly keyboards now. I played lead guitar back in high school but I've gotten into Electronica the last few years. I also played keyboards for a local band here in Vegas. Picks are on my FB page.

      Yes I'm familiar with John Carlton, have a couple of his courses and meet him in person. Great guy and awesome copywriter.

      I'll keep checking back on your site to see how you are progressing. Hopefully some professional copywriters will stop by and give some advice. I many just study copywriting to do my own sales pages, and I'm not where close to a professional copywriter.
      Right on!

      I have a Yamaha Motif Es7 and a Korg Triton LE.
      I love playing the keys.
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  • Profile picture of the author galihkartiwa
    A great landing page, interactive and appealed to people to buy your product
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  • Profile picture of the author jt47000
    No.

    Neither are good: the second's slightly better structured than the first but it feels artificial - the writer clearly did minimal, if any, research. And there's at least a couple of spelling errors.

    Hopefully you didn't spend too much on it.
    25$, I can live with losing that.. Thank you for being honest.

    First RESEARCH your target audience. Who's going to be the person to buy this and why do they want it?

    Your showing a lot of videos on what YOU can play but not telling me much on what ME personally is going to learn. Some things are covered but vaguely.
    Thank you, I had no idea going into this that research was such a big part of it. I guess I just thought it was listing all the "amazing things that will happen if you buy my system" type of deal. Thank you and thank you for all the pointers you've given. You've given me a great starting point

    Who says that I want to know how to play Stairway to Heaven?

    And I don't understand the following: "For the price of a movie ticket where someone else tries to blow up the White House and your ass falls asleep"

    Do some more research on your target market. John Carlton has two really good guitar ads that you can swipe.

    I have it on my hard drive, but it'll come up if you search for it via Google. Read that ad a few times and pay attention to the benefits he notes. You'll learn a ton from just reading it.
    John Carlton, got it! Thanks Tony once again for your help. The stairway to heaven thing I totally understand. It makes sense. I'll take it out of there.

    And you might rethink selling something like this through JVZoo. That banner at the bottom will definitely lower conversions.

    JR
    Why do you think JVZOO would hurt my sales out of curiosity? Would you recommend Aweber instead or what service would you recommend? I previously used e-junkie but don't want to pay the 5$ fee. Aweber is crazy expensive but I've heard the best. Can you specify? Thanks JR for the input

    I'll keep checking back on your site to see how you are progressing. Hopefully some professional copywriters will stop by and give some advice. I many just study copywriting to do my own sales pages, and I'm not where close to a professional copywriter.
    Thanks, I'll def keep you posted

    A great landing page, interactive and appealed to people to buy your product
    Thank you, I appreciate the kind words

    Here's a few things to think about:
    -Why stairway to heaven? If that doesn't click with the reader... there is no sale... no desire to even read. Being more specific than saying "top hits" does get you closer to those who identify with it... but you are cutting out a huge # of people, I'd rethink that.
    -Ditch the fancy graphics. I'd focus on writing killer copy... only text. If not done well, graphics just distract from the copy.
    -i'd avoid being cute. the graphic with the apes evolving is amusing, but being cute doesn't sell. Advertising is just salesmanship in print.
    -your headline assumes they see information overload as a problem. This is just one example of how you are coming from your frame of mind and expecting they'll come to you (There are far more in this letter). Unfortunately... They won't. No one is going to take the time to decode your message. You must do the extensive research to figure out where they are at... what they need to hear...

    I could probably fill a page before I got past the letter's headline, so i'll stop. Biggest thing I can tell you is to do more research. That is where all beginner's skimp, until eventually they finally learn to do it.

    Get every ad ever written that sells what you are selling. Then go through all of them and take notes. Highlight and take down every benefit. Every feature. Note how they are selling it. Anything that comes to your mind (things will jump out at you in proportion to how much you've learned and are therefore able to notice. If you lack in that area, start picking up more books on copywriting, psychology and influence as well) Take all these notes into a big pile.

    Then use those to figure out how to sell yours.
    Thanks Dante,

    I realize especially now how important the research is to copy. I admit, I havent really done any thorough research on my demographic, The only thing I know is that my demographic is predominatetly 13-24, 45-60 male, us, that's it. I need to put myself in their shoes and figure out what they want... I got ya..

    Thank you Dante

    Ok guys, back to the drawing board for me, I want to tell all of you thank you and that I really appreciate the help. I've learned a ton from this. If you have anything else to add, please let me know, good or bad, would love to hear it. I'm also on skype - jt47000.

    Thanks friends

    JT
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