Looking for someone to give feedback on sales page please

16 replies
Hi there,

I am about to launch a new product on clickbank and want some feedback on my sales page, you can view it here: EasyAffiliateSites | Build Amazing Affiliate Websites In Minutes

I am not sure if it explains the product well enough or indeed excites the potential customer enough to hit that buy button.

Any feedback (as long as constructive) is greatfully received.

Thanks in advance
#feedback #give #page #sales
  • There is no real selling going on here.

    no real structure to the sale, no curiousity, no trust, no empathy, no real urgency, and no real value conveyed to the customer.

    Some tips for starters....

    I would just use one sub-head

    Your headline is not promising anything...promise something to the reader...you need to get them to read on.

    You introduce your product with no set up.

    I have no idea what makes it different or why i would need it.

    There is a book of mine that might give you some pointers as to where you're going wrong

    Just google "copywriting cash questions"

    it's number one on Google for that term.

    Best if luck with it.
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    "Peter Brennan is the real deal, In the first 12 hours we did $80k...and over $125k in the first week...if you want to be successful online, outsource your copywriting to Peter"
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    For 12 ways to sell more stuff to more people today...go to...www.peterbrennan.net
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  • Thanks for the feedback Peter,

    I am struggling with the sales page to be honest, I know I have a great product that is working really well (just added a video to the sales page to show my affiliate earnings) just don't know how to get it across.

    I will try to improve it, thanks again
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    • no worries...Structure and content are key here though.

      Most of the begining of the letter connects what you have to present with all the bad stuff in the industry.

      If you have a good product you believe in it's worth spending on sales copy.

      Othewise, it's all going to waste.
      Signature
      "Peter Brennan is the real deal, In the first 12 hours we did $80k...and over $125k in the first week...if you want to be successful online, outsource your copywriting to Peter"
      Adam Linkenauger

      For 12 ways to sell more stuff to more people today...go to...www.peterbrennan.net
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    What you're missing is brand continuity.

    You're missing the main ingredients (emotional triggers) that compel someone who is starting out in affiliate marketing to fully get the power of what you're offering.

    I just did a sales letter/VSL script for something similar.

    You need to articulate how this process is what top affiliates do to easily earn a consistent monthly income.

    Talk about financial freedom and what it buys you.

    If you use it in context with demonstrating how your automated, science of success methodology will get prospects to a place of making dependable sales, it'll have a fresh impact.

    Mark
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  • Thanks for the feedback Mark, it's frustrating for me as I know the product is great and really does work, just struggling to convey that in the sales pitch.

    Can you advise what you would charge to assist?
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
      Originally Posted by letsdothistogether View Post

      Thanks for the feedback Mark, it's frustrating for me as I know the product is great and really does work, just struggling to convey that in the sales pitch.

      Can you advise what you would charge to assist?
      $3000-$4000... Somewhere in there...
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      • Profile picture of the author Enfusia
        Originally Posted by Mark Pescetti View Post

        $3000-$4000... Somewhere in there...
        That's actually pretty inexpensive.

        What you may wish to consider is that; if you market this well and with great copy and sell 50 times (conservatively) more units with professional copy than you would with your existing copy you couldn't afford not to hire a really good copywriter.

        What people (not you or anyone in particular) need to realize is that a great copywriter is never without work and you have to convince us that we will make more money working with you than for ourselves.

        Just attempting to help with perspective is all.

        "Lousy copy will cost you a fortune & great copy will make you one" Patrick Shelley (aka Me).

        Patrick
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        • Profile picture of the author Enfusia
          No matter what you do please fix the sentence "turning fresh air into a pile of"

          My mind auto completes that and it's not nice.

          Patrick
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        • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
          Originally Posted by Enfusia View Post

          That's actually pretty inexpensive.

          What you may wish to consider is that; if you market this well and with great copy and sell 50 times (conservatively) more units with professional copy than you would with your existing copy you couldn't afford not to hire a really good copywriter.

          What people (not you or anyone in particular) need to realize is that a great copywriter is never without work and you have to convince us that we will make more money working with you than for ourselves.

          Just attempting to help with perspective is all.

          "Lousy copy will cost you a fortune & great copy will make you one" Patrick Shelley (aka Me).

          Patrick
          It is pretty inexpensive.

          Most copywriters on this board alone charge between $5,000 - $25,000 per letter + a backend %.

          I try to help out when I can, especially when I know I can nail the right brand, tone and copy in a day or two. But even a low quote is a lot for some people.

          Mark
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  • Profile picture of the author urban renewal
    Yeah, I think you need a stronger hook. All you've really got to grab people's attention right now is that you're NOT push-button scam.

    Unfortunately that doesn't really give people a lot to go on. At least not right out of the gate.

    Also, I'd consider using a different color other than pink as your accent color (unless of course your target market is women). I don't mean to generalize, but I'd venture that most people who end up buying this sort of thing will likely be men, and pink has a repelling effect on us

    Your screen shots look like they could fit will into a mechanism-based angle (I have no idea how your actual product works, for what it's worth though...). And you could probably use this to rework your headline, etc.

    And while I'm at it, I'd strongly encourage you to use a larger font. At least size 16. I know you're using Optimize Press, and if I remember correctly changing the font size isn't terribly easy with OP, but larger font makes your page more skim-able.

    Anyway, I hope this makes sense. And I hope this helps.

    Thanks for sharing your sales page up here (I know that probably takes a lot of courage to really put yourself up for review like this).
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    -Clayton

    http://www.ClaytonTerao.com

    I'm a conversion consultant who helps you make more money online with your business.

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  • Profile picture of the author urban renewal
    Letsdothistogether,

    Sent you a PM. Let me know what you think...
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    -Clayton

    http://www.ClaytonTerao.com

    I'm a conversion consultant who helps you make more money online with your business.

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  • Profile picture of the author urban renewal
    As to whether or not you should invest money in working on the copy...

    What kind of traffic do you plan on sending to this page? Do you have a list ready to go? Affiliate partners? At the end of the day, how many clicks do you think you could send to this sales page?

    I don't know specifically what your original copy would convert at. But if you could double that, what would that be worth to you?

    Obviously, no serious copywriter can guarantee you a certain conversion rate, but I guess what I'm driving at is, how serious are you about this offer?
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    -Clayton

    http://www.ClaytonTerao.com

    I'm a conversion consultant who helps you make more money online with your business.

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