Looking for feedback on mobile app landing page

5 replies
I am interested to find out what you think about this landing page that I did for a company that sells mobile apps:

EventMobileGuide.com
#app #feedback #landing #mobile #page
  • Profile picture of the author Peter Michaels
    The headline needs to be more striking... the one you have is pretty ordinary.

    And the offer isn't really clear. What exactly do I get when I fill in the form? One box says "get started" (doing what?) and the other says I'm requesting a free demo - but they're two different actions.

    After the subhead ("... every step of the way.") don't use one period. Either use none, or elipses (...) - periods are called full stops because they tell the reader to stop, whereas you want them to read on in the copy, right?

    Same with the bullets. Use a hyphen rather than a period after the lead sentence, so: "You're in complete control - you can update blah blah"

    Pull out a subhead for each of your testimonial quotes to make 'em stand out. They're kinda long and linear in this format. Both have a couple great points you could pull out and highlight.

    And no biggie, but I wouldn't use "Incredibly" at the start of bullet 1, it's an easy word to stumble over. Too many syllables. Try "Easy to use" or "Simple but effective".

    But that could be just me, I never like 4-syllable words at the start of a bullet or sentence. I'm odd like that ; )

    Best, Pete
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  • Profile picture of the author urban renewal
    First question that pops into my mind is: "Attendees for what?"

    And what does it mean to be "wowed"?

    "Stress free setup" for what?

    I don't know where your planning on getting traffic for this so maybe they already know what you're talking about, but maybe you could use a headline that is a little bit clearer... maybe the "if / then" headline...

    "If you're running a conference and want to keep your attendees informed and up to date, then Results at Hand could be the app that solves all of your problems with the least hassle."

    Bottom line is your prospect should never ever be confused or misunderstand you.
    Signature

    -Clayton

    http://www.ClaytonTerao.com

    I'm a conversion consultant who helps you make more money online with your business.

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    • Profile picture of the author OutOfThisWord
      Be more specific.

      I know you make apps, but why should I care?
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  • Profile picture of the author Kroncept
    I like it but you need to be more specific on the fact that this is for conferences. Other than the URL and something at the bottom I just see the word attendees. There should be a quick concise explanation "The Complete mobile app for Event Attendees!"
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  • Profile picture of the author tkhowse
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
      You haven't done the basic research who this is for.

      Clue...it's not for the attendees.

      Best,
      Ewen
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