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If companies had realistic slogans...

by angiecolee
10 replies
Ran across this Buzzfeed post from Copyranter and couldn't help but share.

Got any of your own to add?
#companies #realistic #slogans
  • Profile picture of the author Pusateri
    Apple - we make training wheels chic
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    Starbucks: What Republicans Drink

    Chrysler: Purposely Making Gas Gusslers

    Monsanto: You Have No Idea What You're Eating

    Benadryl: "What Happened?!?!"

    Patron: "Who's that Sleeping Next to Me?"

    Saab: Suckers!

    Disneyland: Waiting in Line Since 1955

    Playboy: You Know... for the Articles
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    • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
      Originally Posted by Mark Pescetti View Post


      Benadryl: "What Happened?!?!"
      LOL - never has that been more true for me than this week.
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      Aspiring copywriters: if you need 1:1 advice from an experienced copy chief, head over to my Phone a Friend page.

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    • Profile picture of the author Pusateri
      Originally Posted by Mark Pescetti View Post

      Saab: Suckers!
      You nailed that one.

      Actual conversation:

      Saab owner - "How can it cost $1500 to replace the alternator?"

      Mechanic - "We have to pull the engine."
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      • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
        Originally Posted by Pusateri View Post

        You nailed that one.

        Actual conversation:

        Saab owner - "How can it cost $1500 to replace the alternator?"

        Mechanic - "We have to pull the engine."
        11 years ago, I bought a used Saab from a dealership in Marin County and drove it back up to Mount Shasta (about 4 hours north of San Francisco.)

        I spent $4,500 on the car.

        And I'll tell you, I loved that frickin' car.

        About a week after buying it, it needed a new half axle.

        Because it's a Saab, nobody wanted to work on it in my sleepy little town.

        Finally found a guy. He did a good job. Problem solved.

        Whoops.

        The fuel pump went out.

        And accessing the fuel pump took a mechanic who really knew Saabs.

        Uh oh...

        The alternative was next. And yup, just because it's a Saab, everything costs more.

        Blimey...

        The power steering takes a fall.

        Cha-ching, cha-ching...

        A few more problems later (and well over $5,000 invested to fix the damn car,) I sold the bugger for a measily $750. (To a guy who, by the way, put in another $3,000 before getting rid of it himself.)

        Now, whenever I see a Saab on the road, I cringe. They are my kryptonite!

        So yeah, the tag works.

        Mark
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  • Profile picture of the author ECTally
    Originally Posted by angiecolee View Post

    Ran across this Buzzfeed post from Copyranter and couldn't help but share.

    Got any of your own to add?
    Google: Do no evil*
    *Except for predatory business practices, across-the-board data mining, and sharing of identifiable personal information with third-party marketers and the NSA.
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Microsoft: Eventually, we get it right...
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  • Profile picture of the author CopyMonster
    Wall Street* - We treat your cash like it's our own.

    *Yeah, it's not a company. But if it was...
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    Scary good...
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  • Profile picture of the author Igor Fridrihs
    Banks: Your money are safe with us since we use them like our own money
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    50-100 Clicks HQ Solo Ads

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    • Profile picture of the author MSMA
      Airlines: We're not happy 'til you're not happy!
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