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Critique wanted on my squeeze page

by sparkyboy
9 replies
Hi People,
I would like some critique on my squeeze page (in my signature below) im sending traffic via bing ads the ad goes like this :

Make money on your laptop
improveYourCashFlowNow.com
Enter Your Email Now For Our FREE
Step By Step System

Im getting traffic and only about 1% optin, so as you cana imagine its expensive...

How do i get better optin's ???
#critique #page #squeeze #wanted
  • Profile picture of the author lotsofsnow
    That Google Maps thingy in the background is for sure a bad idea.

    I am not exactly stupid but it took me about 20 seconds to figure out what you are up to. 20 seconds is a looooooong time. 99% of all visitors are gone by then.

    After the initial confusion was gone I started to read the text and before I finished I started to play with the Google map. I learned that I can move it around!!! wow!

    Anyhow, I still have no clue what your squeezer is about as I strated to read, then played and then went off to write this.

    Also: that "continue" button makes no sense at all. Continue what? do I have to enter more information then??? Or will you give me more tools to play with my map???

    I hope you get the point.
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    • Profile picture of the author lindee247
      Hi, I agree the Google Maps thing is bad, it's annoying and makes me want to get out of there!
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  • Profile picture of the author sparkyboy
    thanks guys, think il get back to the drawing board, what do you recommend ? optimize press ?
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    http://improveyourcashflownow.com/
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  • Profile picture of the author Quality Copywriter
    I'd be more specific than "quickly and easily"

    How about "today" next 2 hours?

    Also not clear what I'm getting?

    No reason why my country is getting it free...or is it everyone? lol
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    "Peter Brennan is the real deal, In the first 12 hours we did $80k...and over $125k in the first week...if you want to be successful online, outsource your copywriting to Peter"
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    For 12 ways to sell more stuff to more people today...go to...www.peterbrennan.net
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  • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
    Biggest problem.... prospect most likely thinking "what the hell am I getting here"

    Vagueness= no opt in
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    • Profile picture of the author Quality Copywriter
      Too right

      Confusion kills sales
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      "Peter Brennan is the real deal, In the first 12 hours we did $80k...and over $125k in the first week...if you want to be successful online, outsource your copywriting to Peter"
      Adam Linkenauger

      For 12 ways to sell more stuff to more people today...go to...www.peterbrennan.net
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  • Profile picture of the author rbates
    I do agree with the "Ditch the Map" idea. The map only draws attention away from whatever your offer is - and I still do not know. State to your reader in a few words what they are going to get if they give you their email. You don't need optimize press, or anything fancy to do an effective squeeze page. Keep it simple and clear.
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    >>> Perform and stay focused! - Make cents with your business. <<<
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris Douglas
    I am NOT the person you should be taking advice from. I am just a beginner looking for some pointers on how to build a squeeze page.

    However I do have a suggestion. It seems like you want to give the user a sense that he can get a free version of your product (which is ?). Instead of giving him a sense of priority based on location, create a countdown timer and give the user some 1 minute and arbitrary seconds to enter his name and email. This usually builds up some amount of pressure to click.

    I hope that helps.
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  • Profile picture of the author DustonMcGroarty
    Honestly, I think most people are smart enough to know that it's NOT location specific. Trust is huge here. If you lose trust, you're done. They have to believe they can do it.

    Why should they opt-in? How are you different?

    Also, I'd question WHO you're sending to that page. Take a close look at the keywords you're targeting. Are they really good prospects for your offer or are you bidding on vague keywords? Be sure you're bidding on a 'Broad Match' basis.
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