Copy went live any last minute tweaks you can think of?

"Are You Single, Ready To Have Fun And Meet New People?" would be better.

The headline reads awkwardly the way it is now.

Alex

The site is a bit hard to read right now. The width is a bit wide even on my monitor which is large.

Also, I'd bet you a dollar that the subhead's current formatting is not as effective as it could be as it makes it harder to read.

Third, I'd suggest adding subheads as a) nobody likes seeing a brick of text and b) it makes it easier to make a point to the "scanners".

Very hard to read. Maybe bold or highlight some of the text. Also trying writing less. Or at least make the margins narrower so it's easier to read through without my eyes drifting so far to the left and right. The organization feels a bit confusing. I can't tell where the story begins and ends...and the whole thing feels like a list of one-liners (quotes/jokes/etc).

I like the "Single in Minneapolis?" approach discussed above? Then subhead it with something like "Meet 500 Local Singles who [and add benefit here]!"

The copy is tough to read. Narrow the margins. Use bullets, some red highlights, maybe one of those hand-written circles that draw attention to a certain part of your message.

Any photos of past events? Any testimonials from people who have gone to something like this in the past? What about anyone going to this one?

Also, I usually don't like to see the word "we" anywhere in the top half of the letter where you should be talking about them ("you") and what's going on in their heads.

$0.02

-d3

Experiment with other headlines that point out the frustrations of being single that you mention in the body copy. "If you're single" doesn't point to a reason as to why someone should continue reading or go to the event.
The tricky part would be putting some of those frustrations of being single into a relatively short headline.

"How you can put those lonesome, come-home-to-the-couch days behind you, Minneapolis!"
"If you are single and tired of coming home to sit on the couch every day..."

Something like that... it just points out what's unpleasant about being single in the first place.

Not actionable enough, in my opinion. "Meet fellow singles in Minneapolis!" would be better.

It's also too draggy and convoluted. Lay out the benefits more succinctly. Look for lines where you repeat yourself (there are quite a few) and eliminate.

That's what I'd do, at least. Good luck.

Where are you advertising this?

The whole approach most likely isn't going to work. Especially with women.

Pay $50 just to go to a bar and hope to find someone? People already do that and it doesn't cost $50 upfront.

You have no specific demographic you're targeting. You have no incentive or benefits for anyone to do it.

What happens if you get people to reserve (if you're lucky) and it turns out to be 50 guys and 5 females? You're going to have a lot of pissed off people wanting their money back.

The copy isn't good and you would be better suited in creating separate pages for both men and women.

I just don't see this working at all. You need to do more research before you try something like this because not only do you have to sell the idea, but you have to overcome a huge social stigma of getting someone to actually pay to go to singles meetup. If it was free, it would be a different matter entirely.

I'm not saying this kind of thing isn't possible. I think that your copy is lacking and it doesn't have enough punch to it to get the results you want.

60 hits and 2 sales isn't bad, but this event is in 30 days right? If you're doing 2 sales per day that's only 60 tickets sold.

I don't know if you're spending money to get traffic to this website, but you can always improve on your results by split testing new copy. It's far from ideal.

What makes your party any different than clubbing on any day of the week anywhere in the U.S.?

Perhaps if you could of come up with some kind of theme party of some sort it would have made your event different and stand out. Plus you really only needed a large (eye-catching) "flyer" on your webpage to get your message across (quickly).

Hi Thomas, it sounds like a great event but your ad needs work. It reads like a generic scammy sales ad instead of the announcement of an awesome event.

Your event poster is good and should be used as the basis for the info page.

I don't think you really have to sell singles so hard... they are single and looking for opportunities. All you have to do is inform them of the event and make it look like a credible party where they might meet someone.

Things to mention:

Singles Party - explain it is not a structured dating event - say it is basically like a big night out at the club but it will be packed with single people - equal guy to girl ratio too
Bar Address
Mention details from the About section
Click to reserve a spot (do not mention remaining number - just that tickets are limited)

If people are finding your poster in the city and checking out the website, you do not really have to sell them. Just tell them the details and provide a way to sign up - that's it.

Finally, mention a target age range to make it more appealing to people in your target age range. I'm guessing 21 - 35.