Copywriting + Infographics = You tell me! :-)

39 replies
UPDATE:

Based on feedback on this forum, as well as test results, I went back to the drawing board (so to speak) and revamped the sales page with a mixture of text and graphics.

Please let me know if this works better:

ReAction - Automate Successful Behaviors

Thanks!

Derek


------------------------------------------------------

Hey Everyone,

I'm doing an experiment, and I'd like to get your thoughts/feedback.

I've just posted a version of my sales page that combines copywriting with a heavy (but simple) visual approach:

ReAction - Automate Successful Behaviors

Please let me know what you think.

Thanks!

Derek
#copywriting #infographics
  • When I clicked on the link Mcafee popped up with a Warning! Suspsicious Site page.... So I didn't visit.
    Signature

    I write funny, informative, and sad blog posts that could easily be emails or ebooks. Come look me up at http://thecontentangel.com/

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8323915].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Derek_Franklin
      Hey Angela,

      Did it give a reason?

      If so, please let me know what it was.

      I tell you, I've been selling stuff online for the better part of 10 years, and McAfee has been a pain in my side ever since. :-(

      Thanks for trying.

      Derek
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8323928].message }}
      • It just said that when it visited the site made Mcafee suspicious. Maybe something on there set off one of it's caution algorithims or something. It wasn't specific.

        Also it was a yellow caution and not a red warning. So I might have been okay to visit, but my computer is extremely important to me, so I tend to listen to it's warnings, even if it sometimes a bit over cautious.

        Lost too many computers before Mcaffee and I became friends.
        Signature

        I write funny, informative, and sad blog posts that could easily be emails or ebooks. Come look me up at http://thecontentangel.com/

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8324033].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author ECTally
        Originally Posted by Derek_Franklin View Post

        Hey Angela,

        Did it give a reason?

        If so, please let me know what it was.

        I tell you, I've been selling stuff online for the better part of 10 years, and McAfee has been a pain in my side ever since. :-(

        Thanks for trying.

        Derek
        Here it is.

        If I have to guess, I would say the heavy image content triggered an automatic "alarm" with SiteAdvisor. Ironic, because most would be alarmed at the mention of McAfee.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8325915].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Subtle
    I would tighten up the spacing a bit so people don't get a finger cramp while doing all that scrolling...

    Signature

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8324242].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author blackli0n
    I think it looks nice. It feels really really salesy and turns me off but hey, it might work for others.
    Signature
    wpjohnny.com - Make Money with Wordpress
    Passive income since 2007. Trying to consistently crack 5-figures/month. find what you love - dream big - work hard
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8324352].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author James Fame
    This looks pretty interesting. The lead seems pretty interesting - it starts from awareness of the problem into breaking it down... leading to the problem, the solution then the product. I really like it from a copy perspective, but how does it convert on cold traffic?

    James Fame
    Signature

    Fire me a pm if you have a question. I build businesses and provide consulting. I do not do finance/money/internet marketing niches. Fitness, self-improvement and various others are welcome.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8324376].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Johnny12345
    Hi Derek,

    It's an interesting example. I like it. My only objection is your use of repetition.

    For example, the "100's" graphic is repeated 3 times. I don't think that works. It's as if you were too lazy to create a new graphic!

    In addition, your pay button is repeated 4 times. Once is probably enough. Twice, at most. But, in any case, 4 times (separated by only a small about of text) is too much.

    People have been trained over time to know where the buy button is located (at the end). Using it 4 times makes it seem like you are pressuring them to buy... instead of enticing them to buy. Big difference.

    Other than those two small points, I really like the extreme simplicity of the layout. There's no background tile or excessive design to get in the way of the message. Nice.

    John
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8324578].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author praveenshkgp
    I think macafee has black listed your ip as a hacker or something of same kind try somehow telling them your are grenuine I dont know how to do it but i am sure check google you will get result
    Signature

    Hi guys

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8326101].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author praveenshkgp
    And your sale page is pretty interesting and good I enjoyed it
    Signature

    Hi guys

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8326105].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author DanSharp
    Brilliant implementation.

    I'd love to see the results of this split tested against traditional long-form copy.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8327155].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author wrcato2
    I would consider adding an eCourse with a subscribe form above the fold. It is very confusing to me. I understand your message but it took me a couple of times scrolling up and down, up and down, to figure it out.

    If I were you I would write it out as a sales letter and mix in the photo's.
    Think outside the box, just don't change it
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8327382].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Derek_Franklin
    Hey Everyone,

    I just updated the look of the page, so that it looks a bit cleaner, and less sales-y!

    Check it out and let me know what you think.

    ReAction - Automate Successful Behaviors

    Thanks!

    Derek
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8331196].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Curtis2011
    Personally I don't like the sales page. The pictures in this case don't grab my attention, in fact they are rather annoying because they are so large that 2/3 of the page is taken up by images that are not actually conveying any part of the message of the sales page.

    Is there really any value added when you create a big "25" yardstick after saying you've been in the business for 25 years? Or a big picture of a cheeseburger after the word "hungry"? I wonder if this even helps capture visitor attention, or just wastes space on the page where you could be communicating a stronger message with words.

    Originally Posted by wrcato2 View Post

    If I were you I would write it out as a sales letter and mix in the photo's.
    I would do this, except leave out the photos altogether

    Also to OP: I just realized that your main headline is pretty much the most vague, non benefit-related headline I've ever seen.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8332265].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Derek_Franklin
      Hey Curtis,

      There IS a reason I took this approach.

      Here's what's becoming more apparent to me as time goes by...

      People's attention spans are getting shorter
      People have less time to read anything of length
      Images capture peoples attention and help clarify ideas

      I know that I read VERY few long sales letters these days, especially if they're nothing but big blocks of text.

      I wanted to visually convey the benefits of my product in less than 5 minutes - that was the goal.

      With that in mind, I'm experimenting a bit with my approach.

      I appreciate your feedback, but I didn't expect it to appeal to 100% of everyone.

      As for the headline, I'm all ears to hear any better ideas you have - please be specific with your suggestions.

      Derek
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8332374].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Derek,

    I'd be interested to hear about your results once you've run some traffic to the page.

    Here's a more copy-centric but similarly graphic-rich layout from Andre Chaperon that I've always liked:

    Affiliate Bully

    Best,

    Brian
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8332467].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Enfusia
      IMHO: you may want to work on the opening line/title a bit, it made me stop to read it a second time to get what you were saying.

      No, I'm not a tard.

      Just sayin...

      Patrick
      Signature
      Free eBook =>
      The Secret To Success In Any Business
      Yes, Any Business!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8332507].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Derek_Franklin
    @Brian - When I get something tangible to share, I will. Initial results look promising!

    @Patrick - Agreed! I changed it - let me know if it works better

    Thanks!

    Derek
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8334234].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Arovax
    Just a few questions about information I would be looking for: what about the references to your experience, study cases or testimonials? what makes you an expert in what you are selling and how many people have benefitted from it? are there proven results?

    You do mention that you are an author of 5 bestselling books, but are they related to the topic being sold?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8335021].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Derek_Franklin
      Originally Posted by Arovax View Post

      Just a few questions about information I would be looking for: what about the references to your experience, study cases or testimonials? what makes you an expert in what you are selling and how many people have benefitted from it? are there proven results?

      You do mention that you are an author of 5 bestselling books, but are they related to the topic being sold?
      All great points!

      I'm updating the sales page accordingly, as time goes by, with some additional elements - like those you describe.

      Thanks for the feedback!

      Derek
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8338196].message }}
  • Cut the page into slides and make a sales video with voice over - do a a/b spit test to see what works best...
    Signature
    Offline Coach - Programmer since 1995 - Over 40 Projects In 10 Countries
    WSO:

    [Offline Coaching] Will Teach You How to Get To $500 | [Offline Leads] Not Death Yet Icelandic Way To 5k Paydays...
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8335341].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh
    Hey Derek,

    I've bought stuff from you a few times. The Action Machine and some great PLR/MRR stuff. I got your email the other day, scanned the letter and didn't buy.

    I'm kind of on an "information diet" so that may be part of it. I'm always asking myself if I think a product is going to help me grow faster or distract me.

    But really, nothing grabbed me about it that made me think "okay, I gotta have this right now".

    I'm all for testing new things. I like the minimal approach in some ways.

    But I really think that for info-products you really need to lay it on thick with bullets. The graphical flow is cool but it doesn't leave me thinking "I HAVE to know more".

    With bullets (and I've read yours before) there's usually one or two that will catch me and get me to pull the trigger.

    But that's me.

    And this is by no means a critique of your page, just giving you my personal thoughts having looked at it as a potential customer a few days ago.

    I'd be curious to hear how it does for you.

    Good luck!

    -Scott
    Signature

    Over $30 Million In Marketing Data And A Decade Of Consistently Generating Breakthrough Results - Ask How My Unique Approach To Copy Typically Outsells Traditional Ads By Up To 29x Or More...

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8344466].message }}
  • The approach you've come up with is a good one. I might try it out some day. But I doubt this particular page will convert. it's not tight and focused enough. It relies on the graphics to tell the story, instead of having the graphics supplement the copy. And the graphics aren't really great themselves either.

    Sorry if this comes off as overly critical, but I might as well tell it like it is.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8344640].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Derek_Franklin
    @Scott - Thanks for being a great customer, and for your thorough feedback.

    @The Copy Warriors - Thanks for your honest feedback - it's what I asked for.

    Now, in response...

    The general idea with taking this approach was to take the elements of a typical sales video, and lay it all out on a page.

    Think of each section of the page as like a slide in a video.

    The reason I wanted to try this is because I love the simplicity of most sales videos, but I didn't like that the content can't be easily scanned, either forward or backward. I'm not sure a lot of people do - sometimes you want to get right to the benefits, without all the 'warnings' or 'mistakes I've made in life' kind of stuff.

    What I'm discovering is that I need a bit more of a hybrid - and I think I know what I want to do (based on all the great feedback).

    Yes, I know there's the old adage about not reinventing the wheel, but peoples' attention spans, as well as their entire way of consuming information is changing, and I'm looking for ways to present ideas and content to them in a way that caters to this new mindset.

    Some success, some failure, but always a learning experience! ;-)

    Thanks again for all the great feedback!

    Derek
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8346009].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author swontario
    I notice you switched to using a video, how is it performing compared to the previous implementations?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8374742].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Derek_Franklin
    UPDATE:

    Based on feedback on this forum, as well as test results, I went back to the drawing board (so to speak) and revamped the sales page with a mixture of text and graphics.

    Please let me know if this works better:

    Reaction

    Thanks!

    Derek
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8379987].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
      Originally Posted by Derek_Franklin View Post

      UPDATE:

      Based on feedback on this forum, as well as test results, I went back to the drawing board (so to speak) and revamped the sales page with a mixture of text and graphics.

      Please let me know if this works better:

      Reaction

      Thanks!

      Derek
      Muchly much better, Derek.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8380045].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author adamprattler
    pretty good sales page but definitely I think too much text and needs more sub headers to properly seperate and make it more skimmable
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8380080].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ago
    "It's impact is Huge"?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8380120].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Derek_Franklin
    @BrainMcLeod - Awesomely, awesome feedback! :-)

    @adamprattler - Thanks- I'll keep testing with your feedback in mind

    @ago - Good eye, my friend! Thank you!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8380137].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author appreviewsubmit
    Derek_Franklin thank you for the job
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10605097].message }}

Trending Topics