What Do You Guys Think?

Banned 11 years ago

Sigh. Business is serious - not a joke. A dentist...who went crazy at Vegas? I'm not buying any of it. This is more like a Saturday Night Live sketch.

"Use our risk-free money to bail your ass out". Uh - no. Ditto the dancing dentist.

BTW...I can see you put a lot into this. And I appreciate that it's "different". But I think you've gone too far with it.

Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8383507].message }}

TheBigBee

11 years ago

Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi

Sigh. Business is serious - not a joke. A dentist...who went crazy at Vegas? I'm not buying any of it. This is more like a Saturday Night Live sketch.

"Use our risk-free money to bail your ass out". Uh - no. Ditto the dancing dentist.

BTW...I can see you put a lot into this. And I appreciate that it's "different". But I think you've gone too far with it.

You were not supposed to buy any of it.

You were supposed to laugh at it. Anyone who believes that's real... Well let me sell them the BK bridge. It was simply meant to generate a phone call and a laugh.

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

FILL IN THE BLANKS!

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8383869].message }}

The Copy Nazi Banned 11 years ago

Originally Posted by TheBigBee

It was simply meant to generate a phone call and a laugh.

Then it's a massive FAIL. Makes your company look like a bunch of idiots.
- Thanks
- 1 reply
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8383922].message }}
- TheBigBee 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi
  
  Then it's a massive FAIL. Makes your company look like a bunch of idiots.
  
  I actually wrote a script (this is one of 6 I produced) where we called ourselves idiots. :-)
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  FILL IN THE BLANKS!
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8388229].message }}

stewane

11 years ago

Hi,

The start IMO was painful! there were good points from 34sec-1:04..(these are the parts that can be salvaged.

Thanks

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8387898].message }}

TheSalesBooster

11 years ago

Don't get defensive. You asked for opinions... and the truth is the approach is terrible.

Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8388183].message }}

TheBigBee

11 years ago

Originally Posted by TheSalesBooster

Don't get defensive. You asked for opinions... and the truth is the approach is terrible.

I would never have showed this to WF without getting validation from customers. That validation came in two forms.

1. Retention views. People are watching the whole thing.

2. I listen to every call recorded through that number attached - its great to hear "that was funny!"

This company lent $120M last year to business owners with an average FICO score of 550. No other company does or is able to do that. This is the truth - if your credit is great - we have ZERO interest in lending you money.

My specific challenge was to go after this group (business owners with extremely poor credit) while NOT saying:

"Bad credit..."

"Less than perfect credit..."

Here is a challenge: come up with a way to say "if your credit stinks call us" without saying it?

The goal is to have a ton of videos ranking in Google. There will be competition - how do we make it tough for them now? How do we make it so people have to compare "apples to oranges" instead of Apples to Apples?

We simply did not want the guy with a 3 minute doodle video, or some guy from his home office to have a chance.

Also here is the part that you guys may have missed. The MOST important part is the title structure.

I had a bunch of stock and standard scripts written based on the formula that has been working for my animated video clients.

There were going to be these "professional testimonials."

I went to my client with it all and I said "lets TRY to make the guy with a 500 FICO score laugh a bit to set the relationship."

Most people don't make moves for fear of failure. I was and will never be afraid to push the envelope because Internet video will grow and grow.

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

FILL IN THE BLANKS!

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8388221].message }}

KingOfContentMarketing

11 years ago

Originally Posted by TheBigBee

That validation came in two forms.

1. Retention views. People are watching the whole thing.

2. I listen to every call recorded through that number attached - its great to hear "that was funny!"

Curious what the control was for this marketer. What were they doing before, and what metric are you measuring against that? Retention? Sales? Click-throughs?

Thanks

Signature

Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
- Jack Trout

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8392864].message }}

Steve The Copywriter

11 years ago

I'm all for using a bit of humor in ads.

I kind of liked yours - it took the "sting" out of bad credit and needing a loan.

People might think "OK, if you helped the "gambling" dentist then you should be able to help me."

And there was a huge promise at the end - making the "offer" almost irresistible.

"Giving out money to any business owner with a pulse"

But...

It was all a touch over the top, as you say, it got laughs and calls but a lot of people may not have called because...

They don't want to appear as "stupid" as the dentist.

They may feel the Ad was too frivolous and not serious enough.

Debt and bad credit is very emotive.

Some people may have been reckless and more or less blew their money like the dentist did.

But they are not likely to admit it.

Most others had range a of hellish problems out of their control, causing real heartache and won't relate to the dentist or the loan company.

So, it's always safer to go with the theme "Whatever happened it's not your fault you have bad credit - the good news is we are here to help you"

Use that approach, if you like with a dash a humor, and you could boost the response.

Steve

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

http://www.warriorforum.com/warriors...right-now.html

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8388512].message }}

TheBigBee

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter

I'm all for using a bit of humor in ads.

I kind of liked yours - it took the "sting" out of bad credit and needing a loan.

People might think "OK, if you helped the "gambling" dentist then you should be able to help me."

And there was a huge promise at the end - making the "offer" almost irresistible.

"Giving out money to any business owner with a pulse"

But...

It was all a touch over the top, as you say, it got laughs and calls but a lot of people may not have called because...

They don't want to appear as "stupid" as the dentist.

They may feel the Ad was too frivolous and not serious enough.

Debt and bad credit is very emotive.

Some people may have been reckless and more or less blew their money like the dentist did.

But they are not likely to admit it.

Most others had range a of hellish problems out of their control, causing real heartache and won't relate to the dentist or the loan company.

So, it's always safer to go with the theme "Whatever happened it's not your fault you have bad credit - the good news is we are here to help you"

Use that approach, if you like with a dash a humor, and you could boost the response.

Steve

Steve,

I think Ray nailed it in his reply. Your reply was equally helpful. Then add to it that it's not exactly guaranteed that your video will rank, so you have to TRY to get some organic social shares, likes, comments, and tweets.

So it's like how do you walk that line between not telling people; "you suck" and also standing out in SERP's....

This is only my first ever swing at this.

Thanks

Signature

FILL IN THE BLANKS!

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8392743].message }}

The Copy Nazi

Banned 11 years ago

Most people don't make moves for fear of failure. I was and will never be afraid to push the envelope because Internet video will grow and grow.

Bully for you. Why post if you won't accept criticism? Your post title is "What do you guys think?". We've told you. Then you get all precious about your work. You say people think it "funny" and they're watching it all the way through. Uh huh. But is it working?

Talking about "pushing the envelope"...I love this -

DollarShaveClub.com - Our Blades Are F***ing...

and this -

Epic and Honest Mobile Home Commercial - YouTube

Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8388758].message }}

TheBigBee

11 years ago

Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi

Bully for you. Why post if you won't accept criticism? Your post title is "What do you guys think?". We've told you. Then you get all precious about your work. You say people think it "funny" and they're watching it all the way through. Uh huh. But is it working?

Talking about "pushing the envelope"...I love this -

DollarShaveClub.com - Our Blades Are F***ing Great - YouTube

and this -

Epic and Honest Mobile Home Commercial - YouTube

These are dope...

My talents lie in making something out of nothing... Imagine if I had the budget those folks had!! With like... UNION ACTORS!!

See this post: http://www.warriorforum.com/offline-...asso-baby.html

SOLD

Thanks
2 replies

Signature

FILL IN THE BLANKS!

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8392739].message }}

Mr. Subtle 11 years ago

Originally Posted by TheBigBee

... Imagine if I had the budget those folks had!! With like... UNION ACTORS!!

And shot the same commercial?... you'd just end up with a more expensive turd. Consider yourself (and your client) lucky it was done on a small budget.
- Thanks
- 1 reply
Signature
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8392884].message }}
- TheBigBee 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Mr. Subtle
  
  And shot the same commercial?... you'd just end up with a more expensive turd. Consider yourself (and your client) lucky it was done on a small budget.
  
  No silly! :-)
  
  See my post: "Picasso Baby"
  
  That idea is now a storyboard I cannot wait to execute on!
  
  Thanks
  
  Signature
  
  FILL IN THE BLANKS!
  
  {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8392973].message }}

The Copy Nazi

Banned 11 years ago

Originally Posted by TheBigBee

These are dope...

My talents lie in making something out of nothing... Imagine if I had the budget those folks had!! With like... UNION ACTORS!!

See this post: http://www.warriorforum.com/offline-...asso-baby.html

SOLD

You don't need a big budget to produce vids like these. And what "union actors"? They use the clients and their employees. I shoot just as good as this - using a $1k Canon HD videocam and a $400 GoPro.

What you do need (vital) is a decent mic and a tight script. People will tolerate lousy vision but they won't tolerate lousy sound.

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8392909].message }}

TheBigBee

11 years ago

Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi

You don't need a big budget to produce vids like these. And what "union actors"? They use the clients and their employees. I shoot just as good as this - using a $1k Canon HD videocam and a $400 GoPro.

What you do need (vital) is a decent mic and a tight script. People will tolerate lousy vision but they won't tolerate lousy sound.

The original idea was to shoot these earnest commercials on site using real clients. That was too costly due to many factors (the fact that folks have to run a business notwithstanding). Then we figured we would stage at a bar during AM hours and hire an actor. then we realized that was too costly...

We only had enough to pay people to talk into a camera over a white background for one hour each...

I worked with ChristopherCamp.com on this...

You see his work? Have you seen mine? Rest assured that with a MARGINALLY larger budget we'll be able to do more.

The thing is the simple on site "owner story" commercials would have been enough to stand out if you used the right thumbnail. We were just fortunate enough our client through his many years of experience understands his customers. When we pitched comedy - he was all in.

Our client was really happy with our work. One happy client leads to the next as you know...

If he hated it, you folks would have never seen it!

Thanks

Signature

FILL IN THE BLANKS!

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8393000].message }}

The Copy Nazi

Banned 11 years ago

Boy does somebody have an attitude problem? http://www.warriorforum.com/offline-...net-video.html

[ 1 ] Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8388805].message }}

TheSalesBooster 11 years ago

Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi

Boy does somebody have an attitude problem? http://www.warriorforum.com/offline-...net-video.html

That explains a whole lot.

OP's been PMing me back and forth about why his video is so great and how he's basically a big deal in video marketing. I read that thread and find out he basically started doing this in the past few days.

OP even though I think you're a little off your rocker, I can't hate on the determination and will to succeed. You might not get there with this video, but keep the fire burning and take the time to learn a thing or two from the people offering you advice and you could go far.
- Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8389020].message }}

Steve The Copywriter

11 years ago

Mal my good friend,

You may have noticed there's a new trend of critiquees.

It used to be they ignored any advice, wouldn't use it if we paid them to, and we never heard from them again.

Now many post their stuff and argue like hell at any suggestions, call us all the names under the sun, and rant and rage if we don't say "it's the best promo we've ever seen!"

Steve

P.S. Note to all critiqueers. The above doesn't apply to everyone. But here's the thing - never get "precious" about your Ad.

Yes, you may have spent weeks writing and designing it. Put your heart and soul into it. But it doesn't matter a dot what you think, or what we think (all we try and do is help you make you more money).

What really matters is what your audience thinks. They're the ones who always decide if it's good or bad.

[ 1 ] Thanks

Signature

http://www.warriorforum.com/warriors...right-now.html

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8388887].message }}

Raydal

11 years ago

I'm not big on using humor because it is so tricky, but in a crowded
market sometimes getting ATTENTION is the real winning strategy.
If the video gets attention that's a great first step.

-Ray Edwards

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8389381].message }}

TheBigBee

11 years ago

Originally Posted by Raydal

I'm not big on using humor because it is so tricky, but in a crowded
market sometimes getting ATTENTION is the real winning strategy.
If the video gets attention that's a great first step.

-Ray Edwards

Ray,

You nailed it!

Here's the problem. In about a year or so, you will go on Google and lets say you are searching for: "berries."

Let's pretend that "berries" is a hyper competitive term. Guys (B2B) are paying lots and lots of cash for that term in PPC.

Then you - everyday Ray, Google the term "berries" one day and you see not one, not two, but three videos on Page one!! You see ads on the top, and on the right. You are a typical internet user - you're fickle with your time, you just want the info. What do you do? Where do you click?

You made a sub conscious decision to watch a video, now you have to just pick which one... WHICH ONE STANDS OUT TO YOU??

Thanks
2 replies

Signature

FILL IN THE BLANKS!

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8392724].message }}

The Copy Nazi

Banned 11 years ago

Originally Posted by TheBigBee

Ray,

You nailed it!

Here's the problem. In about a year or so, you will go on Google and lets say you are searching for: "berries."

Let's pretend that "berries" is a hyper competitive term. Guys (B2B) are paying lots and lots of cash for that term in PPC.

Then you - everyday Ray, Google the term "berries" one day and you see not one, not two, but three videos on Page one!! You see ads on the top, and on the right. You are a typical internet user - you're fickle with your time, you just want the info. What do you do? Where do you click?

You made a sub conscious decision to watch a video, now you have to just pick which one... WHICH ONE STANDS OUT TO YOU??

Dude, that's been happening for some time - videos getting highly ranked. In fact a few years back I was able to manipulate rankings in SERPS using video quite easily. I once had 9 of the first 10 results. Admittedly for a relatively easy search term - "Sydney Harbour Cruises". They stayed there for a few weeks too - before Google yanked most of them. So it's nothing new. What is new is that Google's algorithms won't allow you to take over with video. If it were that easy we'd all be doing it.

BTW your YouTube a/c is "EZ Business Loans". Is this the same EZ Business Loans of Sacramento, California that the FCC hit with a $1.6M forfeiture last year for unsolicited fax marketing? Are they now trading as "Yellowstone Capital"? http://www.fcc.gov/document/sabrina-...ness-loans-nal

Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8392832].message }}

TheBigBee

11 years ago

Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi

Dude, that's been happening for some time - videos getting highly ranked. In fact a few years back I was able to manipulate rankings in SERPS using video quite easily. I once had 9 of the first 10 results. Admittedly for a relatively easy search term - "Sydney Harbour Cruises". They stayed there for a few weeks too - before Google yanked most of them. So it's nothing new. What is new is that Google's algorithms won't allow you to take over with video. If it were that easy we'd all be doing it.

BTW your YouTube a/c is "EZ Business Loans". Is this the same EZ Business Loans of Sacramento, California that the FCC hit with a $1.6M forfeiture last year for unsolicited fax marketing? Are they now trading as "Yellowstone Capital"? Sabrina Javani d/b/a EZ Business Loans NAL | FCC.gov

Please be careful in how you use names of companies.

There is PLENTY of info publicly available info online so as to answer your own question.

You will find that they are now a licensed lender in CA. Such licenses would not have been granted pending due diligence.

I very humbly and respectfully ask you to remove all reference.

The channel name came to be because the term "business loans" HAS to be a part of your channel title if you want to successfully rank videos. Also, there is a character limit on channel names so we couldn't say "(company name) business loans"

Thanks
1 reply

Signature

FILL IN THE BLANKS!

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8392986].message }}

The Copy Nazi

Banned 11 years ago

Originally Posted by TheBigBee

Please be careful in how you use names of companies.

There is PLENTY of info publicly available info online so as to answer your own question.

You will find that they are now a licensed lender in CA. Such licenses would not have been granted pending due diligence.

I very humbly and respectfully ask you to remove all reference.

The channel name came to be because the term "business loans" HAS to be a part of your channel title if you want to successfully rank videos. Also, there is a character limit on channel names so we couldn't say "(company name) business loans"

So you're saying that EZ Business Loans (an unregistered business that was slammed by the FCC) has now morphed into Yellowstone Capital?

Thanks
1 reply

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8393462].message }}

TheBigBee 11 years ago

Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi

So you're saying that EZ Business Loans (an unregistered business that was slammed by the FCC) has now morphed into Yellowstone Capital?

Nope. I am saying thats the name of the channel.
- Thanks
Signature

FILL IN THE BLANKS!
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8393876].message }}

Raydal

11 years ago

Originally Posted by TheBigBee

Ray,

You nailed it!

Here's the problem. In about a year or so, you will go on Google and lets say you are searching for: "berries."

Let's pretend that "berries" is a hyper competitive term. Guys (B2B) are paying lots and lots of cash for that term in PPC.

Then you - everyday Ray, Google the term "berries" one day and you see not one, not two, but three videos on Page one!! You see ads on the top, and on the right. You are a typical internet user - you're fickle with your time, you just want the info. What do you do? Where do you click?

You made a sub conscious decision to watch a video, now you have to just pick which one... WHICH ONE STANDS OUT TO YOU??

I sympathize with the views given about using humor in copy
but in advertising when everybody else is good then bad is better.

It has to do with what Schwartz refers to as states of prospect awareness
and sophistication. When you are a dealing with a very crowded market
then you have to think outside of the box--and many times inside the box
works very well in less crowded markets.

-Ray Edwards

[ 2 ] Thanks
1 reply

Signature

The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS

{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8393374].message }}

TheBigBee 11 years ago

Originally Posted by Raydal

I sympathize with the views given about using humor in copy
but in advertising when everybody else is good then bad is better.

Wow... Is all I have to say about that. What a great piece of word construction.
- Thanks
Signature

FILL IN THE BLANKS!
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8394605].message }}

What Do You Guys Think?

Trending Topics

Google Ads, landing pages, and Clickbank links

Carry out better target audience research

YouTube gets shopping display tools and affiliate partnership updates

Membership area with multiple income streams

A Very Strange Internet Problem