My Website Gift For Wife - Copy Advice - Thanks In Advance

18 replies
Hey guys,

I recently created a website for my wifes cleaning company (its a surprise she doesn't know about it yet).

Basically I would like to know if there is anything you would change about the copy (probably everything lol) i just want it to get people calling her.

I just got it up there for now and will start tweaking it accordingly until it's good.

Anyway the address is Domestic Cleaning St Helens - Call Us Today 01744 520 205

If any.of you could offer any tips or advice please feel free to share your thoughts good or bad.

Kind regards,
#advance #advice #copy #gift #website #wife
  • Profile picture of the author Mr Squeeze
    I was thinking about changing the content below the picture slides to a mini sales page but do you think that would help generate more leads given it would be the complete opposite of what all of her competitors do on their sites?
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  • Profile picture of the author ThomasOMalley
    You should add an "About Us" page and do a soft sell on that page. The "About Us" page is a frequently visited page on a local business website.

    You need to create a unique selling proposition. What distinguishes your wife's cleaning businesses from other local cleaning services?

    Add a powerful guarantee to your website.

    Add testimonials with clients' full names.

    At some point, add a short 30 second to one minute video to sell your wife's cleaning services.

    I also recommend you read Dan Furman's book, Do the Web Write.


    Thomas O'Malley
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  • Profile picture of the author AnneE
    A couple thoughts:

    1) Google 'cleaning service' any_city -- and look at the results that are smaller businesses, see if there are any phrases or visuals on those other websites that would appeal to you if you were a customer.

    2) Right now, most of what you have "above the fold" (what I see without scrolling) feels impersonal -- the form for someone to contact you. I'd rather see a photo of either the people who do the cleaning or even of a very clean room.

    3) A minor typo, you have: After working as domestic cleaners in St Helens for over 5 Laura and Jan decided to set upon their own.

    and you meant: After working as domestic cleaners in St Helens for over 5 years, Laura and Jan decided to set up on their own.
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Sigh. What a dud. Look dude...forget about doing it yourself. You have no idea. Bite the bullet and get someone who knows what they are doing to write this. Even if it costs you $1000. It will be money well spent. Cut a deal with your writer. To give you a clue - there are a million house cleaners out there - what makes you different?
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    • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
      You probably don't like the advice above but Copy Nazi is correct.

      Just the colours would have people clicking off irrespective of what you have written.

      Why spend months until you get something half decent when a proper person could get you to a higher level in a fraction of the time?

      If you haven't got an eye for colour or sales copy it is a false economy to do it yourself.

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  • Stephen,

    It's a nice idea to "give" your wife her very own inter web site.

    Most businesses have one because - everybody else does - it's all the rage.

    And zillions of sites sit in cyberspace all lonely and forlorn.

    Of course you, your wife and family will enjoy it.

    But unless you know how to drive traffic to it (which is a living nightmare) hardly anybody else will ever see it.

    Now, if you want to boost the business for your good lady - print her some Postcards or Flyers (they will need to be well written).

    Give them out to the target audience - and you'll see an almost immediate increase in customers.


    P.S. Chances are you'll insist on doing a website after it's much more glamorous than ink on pieces of card.

    But do Postcards/Flyers as well with the website details.

    And you'll have a double impact on the customers.
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  • Profile picture of the author garywarner
    Website is not things which is belongs to gift and all, you may create tension to her... Just remove this idea and give her another things..
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  • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
    It's too generic to do anything but attract price shoppers. If someone beats you on price, you're done...even if you reach Google page one or spend a fortune getting eyeballs on the page.

    You need a positioning strategy, not a laundry list of services that dozens of people in your area are already offering and certainly not vague statements that anyone can make.

    For example (your copy in italics, my responses follow ---->)

    Are you looking for a a reliable St Helens House Cleaner at an affordable cost?

    ----> Who isn't? This would be the place to position yourself AGAINST the competitors who are all saying the exact same thing.

    Here at St Helens Cleaning we take great pride in knowing that every customer we serve absolutely loves the service they’ve received.

    ----> Can your competitors say the same thing? You bet. But can you tell me the process you use to make sure that this happens? Can you say: "No other house cleaner in (location) has a quality assurance system that (list of policies and ACTIONS, not philosophies and promises, which demonstrate that you value customer satisfaction)

    We know that every house is different and each of you have different needs which is why…

    Every single service we provide is completely tailored to your individual needs. Before we take on any new customers one of our friendly team will come and visit you in your home to discuss your exact requirements.

    ----> Again, promises made by advertisements don't mean #$&*. As a consumer, I've heard these before. HOW do you do it? What's business practices and procedures do you have in place to make sure you deliver on these promises? Is there a personal story behind why you developed such a business? Why are those practices important to you? For example: "Before we started (business name), we were frustrated an appalled at how few businesses could deliver on their promises to customers. We decided to be different...." then tell them how."

    Once we’ve devised a plan and know exactly what needs to be done you’ll receive an on the spot, no hidden charges, price locked, no obligation quote.
    Cleaning Services St Helens

    Home Cleaning St Helens

    St Helens House Cleaning

    St Helens Domestic Cleaners

    St Helens Domestic Cleaning

    Domestic Cleaners In St Helens

    House Cleaners In St Helens

    Home Cleaners In St Helens

    Cleaning Services In St Helens

    Office Cleaners St Helens

    St Helens Office Cleaning

    Office Cleaning St Helens

    You name it, we clean it, no job is too big or too small and absolutely every house cleaning task is taken care of, we’ll even deep clean your carpets for you if you want.


    What are you waiting for, simply submit the form above or give us a call today!

    ----> What do they get if they call you? How about a "while supplies last" promotion for every month. Give something away that your customers will really want IF they complete a consultation of course. Consider it an advertising cost, like pay for leads.

    Also, claiming that you do any kind of job for any kind of house and that you'll even clean the carpets raises a red flag for modern consumers. It's the "jack of all trades, specialists at nothing" flag. Okay, maybe the General Store was a great place to go back in the 1800s. You could get your horse shoed, get a new pair of clothes, 1 sack of wheat, 3 lbs of cheese and a new pair of spurs...but those days are gone.

    Today, there are dozens of options within one category and consumers demand customization and specialization....don't you do that when you're shopping for the best value?

    Of course, SOME consumers aren't looking for specialization...and can you guess what they want? Right...they want the best price. And that's how you end up competing based ONLY on price and you become a slave to low profit margins and to customers who will leave you the second someone else offers them a better price. No good.

    Pick ONE type of service and ONE demographic to start with. I suggest you pick an upscale neighborhood in your home town. Get some flyers or direct mailers out there and send out an ad offering a free coupon (for someone else's services) if they try out your house cleaning services. Offer to refund 100% of their money if they're unhappy. Once you get ONE customer, get a testimonial and ask if you can use it for your ads. That's your foot in the door.

    The smaller your niche, the faster word of mouth will cause your reputation to spread. Once you get in a customer's house and they fall in love with your unique service and personality, your unique customer satisfaction practices, THEN you can start pitching them extra services. But trying to walk through all doors from the beginning isn't going to get you very far.
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  • I've done a lot of work for Domestic and Commercial Cleaners over the years.

    On the domestic side here's the key emotions customers have -

    Reliability - Will you turn up on time? (say that all your staff are meticulous about being on time and about cleaning your home perfectly, they check the traffic for any delays and always arrive 5 minutes early and they don't mind waiting on the doorstep if you're not ready)

    Trust - Prove to me that you won't steal anything? (all our staff have been checked for criminal records. CRB check in the UK. And have provided you with glowing references. They are fully insured in case anything gets broken - we've never had to make a claim. We know they are all careful, honest good people)

    Effort - Will you really clean everything well? (they take great pride in their work. You should see their houses they are absolutely spotless. And they must pass our stringent 27 "cleaning tests")

    Care - Cleaning is no fun how do I know you care? (you only employ people who actually enjoy cleaning - it may sound odd but they get great pleasure in doing it. And will treat your home like a palace. You'll notice they put protective covers over their shoes or wear slippers so they won't leave any marks on your beautifully cleaned carpets and floors)

    Guarantee - What happens if you let me down? (if your not happy, we'll clean everything all over again for free. And give you 50% off your next clean. Or give you back your money plus £20.00)

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  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    We're talking about a website here for house cleaning for gawd sake.

    Don't get too bent out of shape over the details.

    Keep it simple.

    Why are we turning this into a frickin million dollar issue?
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  • Max,

    Because it's a billion dollar industry (with masses of competition).

    And people are very, very "precious" about their homes.

    They need lots and lots of reassurance if people they don't really know go in them.

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    • Profile picture of the author max5ty
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post


      Because people are very, very "precious" about their homes.

      And having strangers go in them.

      Then just say that.

      Heck, I'm trying to figure out what all the fuss is about hiring a maid.

      How rich can you get as a house cleaner?

      Seems to me you have a ceiling.

      How fancy or cute can you get?
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  • That's one of the issues - cleaners (or if you prefer) maids are not well paid.

    And sadly not highly regarded.

    The irony is - the people hiring them need to know they are exemplary, trustworthy and will do an outstanding job at cleaning up the mess.

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    • Profile picture of the author max5ty
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      That's one of the issues - cleaners (or if you prefer) maids are not well paid.

      And sadly not highly regarded.

      The irony is - the people hiring them need to know they are exemplary, trustworthy and will do an outstanding job at cleaning up the mess.

      Ok, great, let's say that.

      Jeezus all mighty, I just can't see why we're making a big fuss over a simple website.

      Even read a post where one guy was saying he should scrap the website idea and give her something else...
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      • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
        Or just follow the lead from the website I linked to
        because the owner of it is making more money out of it
        than the other one of his which pulled in $50,000
        for a part week.

        Go in read and listen to the reasons why the clients bought.

        You'll hear their hot buttons.

        The answers are in customers head,
        not in a copywriters.

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  • Profile picture of the author canniffch
    You just need to build the website with proper format to make it stand out of hundreds of cleaning companies’ websites. Make proper content, keep it brief but appropriate with information. Add testimonials which will be useful. Include attractive features in the website.
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