Anything you would tweak??

by 8 replies
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Okay, at the risk of someone saying I'm hogging this sub-forum, since I made the 2 most recent posts before this one, I'm starting this thread and asking for tweaks you might suggest -- No, I don't want you to rip to shreds or tell me to start all over -- to this WSO thread:

http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-...ve-doubts.html
#copywriting #copywriting advice #sales page #tweak
  • Whose voice is on the audio... a narrator or the legends themselves?

    I didn't see that explained in the SL.

    Alex
    • [1] reply
    • It's a narrator, I suppose I could clarify that. Thanks.
      • [1] reply
  • Banned
    AnneE, AnneE, AnneE,

    you need to apply the "does anybody give a shit?" to your offer. And, sadly, I think you'll find that the answer is "No".

    But if you were to offer the WSO crowd "How to make a million dollars overnight...in your pyjamas" that would work.

    But really...nobody gives a shit about this.
  • I'm finding a complete disconnect between the headline

    "Do you wonder if any of these WSO’s will live up to its claims?"

    and then you're selling motivational quotes?

    Complete disconnect.

    And looking at the responses on the WSO... you got
    a lot of "wow, that's nice"

    but that means nothing. have you sold many of these?

    if not, it could very well be what Mal said, no one really
    wants to part with even $5.00 if they feel they can get all
    of this stuff online, for free.

    I'm more realistic than most, maybe, and probably agree with Mal,
    in the sense that most of my best selling products have been
    ones in which I just channeled desire and the urge to solve a big
    problem.

    here, there's not a lot of "I need this product to solve a problem
    or fulfill a desire"

    If it were me, I'd cut ties and move on, but that's me.

    If you continue, you'll want to find a REALLY fast way,
    right in the lead, to show how investing $5.00 in quotes will
    help them ______?

    I don't know... stay motivated, keep moving along so you take
    action, which in turn makes money? you gotta line it up real
    fast to how it helps make money... since that's what most
    are here for.
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
    • [1] reply
    • Ha ha.... do you really think someone consuming a steady diet of perserverance-trumps-talent messages is quitting THIS early in the going?? Wow.... you guys really DON'T understand what a difference the right mindset will do for you.

      BUT.... I did see your point that I wasn't making the connection to WSO buyers of what this might mean to them. So I made some changes.

      If you are interested, here is the revised version:

      http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-...ml#post8397415

      Thanks for the feedback!!
      • [1] reply
  • Anne,

    Believe me, I completely understand how big it is... I was listening to Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins, and others when I was 18, so I couldn't agree with you more about mindset. It's everything.

    BUT... the "cut" ties part was on this specific copy piece targeted to the market you were targeting.

    I like the newer lead much better... where you're getting right to the "mindset = money" part.

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  • 10

    Okay, at the risk of someone saying I'm hogging this sub-forum, since I made the 2 most recent posts before this one, I'm starting this thread and asking for tweaks you might suggest -- No, I don't want you to rip to shreds or tell me to start all over -- to this WSO thread: http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-...ve-doubts.html