Best Salesletter I've Ever Read...

by rimam1
36 replies
I not an expert copywriter, so my opinion may not be worth much, but this sales letter definitely built instant credibility with me.

It's more of an infographic than a sales letter. I'm learning so much and seeing so much proof, that the sale is pretty much guaranteed. He's not even selling hard, but I want to buy his product.

www.TurbulenceTraining.com

He just redid it. It's awesome to read and amazing to look at.

Raza
#read #salesletter
  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
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    • Profile picture of the author Cool Hand Luke
      Good eye Raza, I noticed the new copy for T.T. yesterday too and it's solid. Considering it more than doubled the product's gravity within a matter of days, it's got to be doing pretty well for them.
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      • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
        Clickbank gravity is based on the number of affiliates who have made one or more sales.

        A gravity point does not take into account the number of sales.

        So increased gravity could simply be a matter of more new affiliates coming on board.

        Alex
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        • Profile picture of the author Cool Hand Luke
          Originally Posted by Alex Cohen View Post

          Clickbank gravity is based on the number of affiliates who have made one or more sales.

          A gravity point does not take into account the number of sales.

          So increased gravity could simply be a matter of more new affiliates coming on board.

          Alex
          Yeah, I understand that. However, when gravity goes from the 40s to the 90s in a matter of days (without any JV contests or promos) it's generally a good sign that something has improved in their sales process. Considering this new copy is a improvement over what they had before, I'd venture it has a great deal to do with it.
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          • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
            Originally Posted by Cool Hand Luke View Post

            Yeah, I understand that. However, when gravity goes from the 40s to the 90s in a matter of days (without any JV contests or promos) it's generally a good sign that something has improved in their sales process. Considering this new copy is a improvement over what they had before, I'd venture it has a great deal to do with it.
            The only thing we know for sure is that more affiliates have jumped on, right?

            For example, the new copy could be converting lower.

            Unless of course you have insider information.

            Alex
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            • Profile picture of the author HeadlessRoland
              With all due respect Raza...I'm not impressed. At all.

              Seems like the copywriter just wanted to make it look pretty and didn't spend enough time SELLING. It's stuff like this that really p*sses me off.

              It's like a bunch of brand advertisers getting together, singing Koombaya, sipping kool-aid, and talking about their "creativity" and brand awareness.

              Where's the KILLER copy that actually sells products?

              In my humble opinion this is another copywriter who doesn't have the eye of the tiger necessary to sell. Just another "artist."
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              • Profile picture of the author Ross Bowring
                Originally Posted by HeadlessRoland View Post

                With all due respect Raza...I'm not impressed. At all.

                Seems like the copywriter just wanted to make it look pretty and didn't spend enough time SELLING. It's stuff like this that really p*sses me off.

                It's like a bunch of brand advertisers getting together, singing Koombaya, sipping kool-aid, and talking about their "creativity" and brand awareness.

                Where's the KILLER copy that actually sells products?

                In my humble opinion this is another copywriter who doesn't have the eye of the tiger necessary to sell. Just another "artist."
                It might not be the best sales letter ever, but it's a page that obviously was not thrown together overnight. Dave Miz will tell ya it at least deserves a test!

                --- Ross
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                • Profile picture of the author HeadlessRoland
                  I don't follow your inside joke Ross. Are you talking about the internet dating dude?

                  But I think you're confused about what I'm saying. I think it's well written enough if you use a paint by the numbers criteria but where's the big promise? Where's the stuff that makes people stand up and hand over a fistful of dollars?

                  I just think you're trying to be diplomatic and you're not taking a stand either way which is fine...I guess.

                  Still think it's rubbish though. I'd probably axe the copywriter for spending too much time making a fancy design instead of writing killer copy
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                  • Profile picture of the author Ross Bowring
                    Originally Posted by HeadlessRoland View Post

                    I don't follow your inside joke Ross. Are you talking about the internet dating dude?

                    But I think you're confused about what I'm saying. I think it's well written enough if you use a paint by the numbers criteria but where's the big promise? Where's the stuff that makes people stand up and hand over a fistful of dollars?

                    I just think you're trying to be diplomatic and you're not taking a stand either way which is fine...I guess.

                    Still think it's rubbish though. I'd probably axe the copywriter for spending too much time making a fancy design instead of writing killer copy
                    Yeah, I'm being diplomatic. Proudly so, 100%.

                    I don't know how it's performing. You don't either. Is the best way to judge its potency to test and assess the results? Or is the best way to judge before letting the market give their verdict?

                    And my inside joke, if you can call it that, is that Dave Miz who is a frequent poster and generally good dude on this forum is always coming into threads to tell people to test (and rightly so...) he's obviously a heavy tester of his stuff and it seems to be working out well for him.

                    I try not to get too emotional one way or the other about sales letters, even my own. The market decides whether it hits the target, not me.

                    --- Ross
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  • Profile picture of the author Vanilla Gorilla
    Crazy Craig Ballantyne. I signed up on one of his squeeze pages a long time ago to get an idea of what his auto response emails were like. I get like 5 emails from that guy a day. I like his sales page, but his approach via email is very off putting.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rod Cortez
    Love the headline! (As i bite into a triple-patty cheeseburger, with grilled onions and triple the cheese!).

    RoD
    Signature
    "Your personal philosophy is the greatest determining factor in how your life works out."
    - Jim Rohn
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    Bizarre. They talk about The Wall Street Journal in the head - and then don't back it up with reference to the original article - which is just a fluff piece saying that EXTREME exercise - like marathon running - can be bad for your heart and joints. It doesn't say that cardio per se is bad for you at all. The original piece says -


    Endurance athletes have long enjoyed a made-of-iron image. But amid mounting evidence that extraordinary doses of exercise may diminish the benefits of modest amounts, that image is being smudged. That extra six years of longevity running has been shown to confer? That benefit may disappear beyond 30 miles of running a week, suggest recent research.
    The improved blood pressure, cholesterol levels and robust cardiac health that exercise has been proven to bestow? Among extreme exercisers, those blessings may be offset partially by an increased vulnerability to atrial fibrillation and coronary-artery plaque, suggest other recent studies.
    The Exercise Equivalent of a Cheeseburger? - WSJ.com

    Best salesletter you've ever read? You need to read more.

    BTW notice they're hitting on the old "a weird trick" BS?
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    • Profile picture of the author Ross Bowring
      Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi View Post

      Bizarre. They talk about The Wall Street Journal in the head - and then don't back it up with reference to the original article - which is just a fluff piece saying that EXTREME exercise - like marathon running - can be bad for your heart and joints. It doesn't say that cardio per se is bad for you at all. The original piece says -


      The Exercise Equivalent of a Cheeseburger? - WSJ.com
      Nice spot.

      --- Ross
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  • Profile picture of the author ronrule
    Nothing impressive about this at all... comes across just like every other "lies and misdirection" style of selling weight loss products. Cardio makes you gain weight? lol... seriously, who will believe this crap?
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    • Profile picture of the author Sean Fry
      It is actually a pretty good letter. It's also one of the most disingenuous letters I've read in a while. Very clever. He's telling people what they want to hear (cardio sucks, it's actually "bad for you, eating hamburgers is "better" than cardio) while citing very carefully picked scientific studies to back up his argument.

      The bit about sprinters vs. distance runners is interesting. Compelling when you read it, but I happen to know that sprinters do crazy amounts of distance training as well as HIIT, since I used to actually be a sprinter in high school. Sprinters also lift weights where distance runners are too busy running 10k's to spend much time in the gym. Bulky muscles are a hindrance to long distance runners.

      The stuff about cardio is mostly horseshit, for anyone who knows anything about fitness. Cardio DOES burn fat, but it's true that you don't want to do it in excess. Pro bodybuilders do truckloads of cardio to get down to 3% and 4% bodyfat levels before contests. Yes, cardio works and no it does not "make you fat," lol Jesus. One of the best ways to burn fat is fasted cardio, do cardio first thing in the morning before eating anything and you'll get long lasting "afterburn" effects all day as well. But HIIT works really well also.

      The bit about cardio making you look "older" is funny.

      Personally I think that the combination of weight training with cardio and HIIT will give the best results for anyone, of course your diet is the biggest factor.

      Anyone know why it isn't a VSL?
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  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Don't worry, Ross. You've still got the eye of the tiger.
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    • Profile picture of the author Ross Bowring
      Originally Posted by BrianMcLeod View Post

      Don't worry, Ross. You've still got the eye of the tiger.
      Thank you my brother. :-)

      Thought I'd lost my mojo for a moment back there.

      --- Ross
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      • Profile picture of the author rimam1
        I guess judging "good" sales copy is 100% subjective. One person will think the copy is great while another will see the tricks (scarcity, facts to establish credibility, free info to prompt reciprocity from the customer, social proof, and the other "influence" principles established by Rob Cialdini) and say it's crap.

        Only the market decides. And for a guy with a 7 figure business, that's the only opinion he should heed.

        I'm easily impressed by it... but that's because I'm not a seasoned copywriter with decades of experience. All I know is that he shows tons of proof in the way of before/after pictures.

        Here's another AMAZING salesletter that makes me want to buy the product:

        Inversion Table Therapy - Best Selling Inversion Table

        Again, I'm no expert, but both of these sales letters lay out a lot of good information and prove why their product is so helpful at solving a particular problem (one you didn't even know you had).

        So for me the "is this copy good?" question is irrelevant. All I know is that the copy in those salesletters speaks directly to me. So in that sense, it's "good" because it connected with me.

        Though I didn't buy the products, I would refer people to those salesletters (not as an affiliate) if I knew they had backpain or wanted to lose weight.

        Raza
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        • Profile picture of the author HeadlessRoland
          Ross - good point.

          Copy Nazi - you're misunderstanding my critique. Don't get me wrong...this is better writing than anything I've seen you do. But it's still not killer copy.

          But I'd love for somebody to come in and settle this argument...

          Does anybody know how this is performing? Please enlighten us.
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          • Profile picture of the author HeadlessRoland
            Come on now Malcolm...are we really going to degenerate into name-calling?

            I wasn't attacking you as a person...I was merely commenting on the shortcomings in your work.

            I'm sure that you are swell - when you're not provoked.
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            • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
              Originally Posted by HeadlessRoland View Post

              Come on now Malcolm...are we really going to degenerate into name-calling?

              I wasn't attacking you as a person...I was merely commenting on the shortcomings in your work.

              I'm sure that you are swell - when you're not provoked.
              Ummm.... in all fairness, coming on this board with 4 posts and shitting all over the work of a guy who makes millions with Turbulence training... I don't see the logic?

              As with copywriting... show us proof that you can kick this copy's ass.

              Words mean nothing without proof to back up your claims that this copy sucks. Show us a letter that you've done that has sold 7 figures like Craig did.

              And sure, Mal and I may not see eye to eye on some stuff... but he's been here helping folks a hell of a lot longer than you have. Telling him that his writing is no good... once again without showing anything of yours, is B.S.

              If you're gonna shit on another writer, at least be bold enough to show us your work, your results, your name, etc....
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              • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
                Banned
                Originally Posted by shawnlebrun View Post

                Ummm.... in all fairness, coming on this board with 4 posts and shitting all over the work of a guy who makes millions with Turbulence training... I don't see the logic?

                As with copywriting... show us proof that you can kick this copy's ass.

                Words mean nothing without proof to back up your claims that this copy sucks. Show us a letter that you've done that has sold 7 figures like Craig did.

                And sure, Mal and I may not see eye to eye on some stuff... but he's been here helping folks a hell of a lot longer than you have. Telling him that his writing is no good... once again without showing anything of yours, is B.S.

                If you're gonna shit on another writer, at least be bold enough to show us your work, your results, your name, etc....
                Ah it's probably another of Mark Andrew's shonky accounts - along with "Bob Teller". There again it has Max5ty all over it. Who knows. Some dreamer who thinks he knows what the feck he's talking about.

                Coming back to this salespage...I think the head could be a LOT better... and the pitch. Could I do better? Sure of it. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it whoever-the-hell you are.

                BTW Shawn - thanks.
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  • Profile picture of the author ronrule
    This thread brings up an entirely different debate that I've always found fascinating ... what, specifically makes something "good" or "bad". I know it's subjective, but using this piece as an example:

    The quality of the WRITING is good and drives the point home ... except the MESSAGE ITSELF is nothing but lies and garbage.

    Does that make it "good copy" simply because a lot of people were dumb enough to fall for it? That's the real question for me, and it's not one I'm sure I have the right answer to. If I just made up statistics and convinced people they were real, does being a snake oil salesman selling a dream to unsuspecting idiots really mean I'm a good marketer? I don't think you have to be "good" to sell things to dumb people.
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    • Profile picture of the author Matt James
      Far as I can tell, that's not the sales page for TT. It's more of a pre-sell page or 'article lander'. Lot of people using those now and all with a very similar formula.

      This is the sales page -- Homepage Sales 2-Page-b | Turbulence Training
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      • Profile picture of the author HeadlessRoland
        Malcolm - why don't we put it to the test? I'm a sporting gentleman - I'll pay your WSO rate to have you try to beat this copy. I see you do sales pages for $497.

        Even though I've decried this copy enough...I STILL don't think you have the chops to beat it. And unlike some - I'm not afraid to put my money where my (admittedly) big mouth is.

        Why don't we do that? Sounds like fun and pipe tobacco is delicious.
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        • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
          Banned
          Originally Posted by HeadlessRoland View Post

          Malcolm - why don't we put it to the test? I'm a sporting gentleman - I'll pay your WSO rate to have you try to beat this copy. I see you do sales pages for $497.

          Even though I've decried this copy enough...I STILL don't think you have the chops to beat it. And unlike some - I'm not afraid to put my money where my (admittedly) big mouth is.

          Why don't we do that? Sounds like fun and pipe tobacco is delicious.
          Sure dude - go right ahead. $497 for a re-write of this page. Take me about an hour. Or two. Dunno. But - not long. Capisce?
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      • Profile picture of the author swontario
        I find this version much more convincing.. longer than i was willing to read but better if anyone like me was his target. Sounds like HIIT packaged as if it's a brand new discovery?

        Originally Posted by Matt James View Post

        Far as I can tell, that's not the sales page for TT. It's more of a pre-sell page or 'article lander'. Lot of people using those now and all with a very similar formula.

        This is the sales page -- Homepage Sales 2-Page-b | Turbulence Training
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  • ...I missed out on the furore of this thread.

    It looked like a fuss over people liking and others disliking some copy.

    And a wager on how to improve it.

    But I noticed that Mal now has the infamous "banned" sign under his name.

    Was it a kamikaze dive or did he upset the powers that be?


    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author Bill Jeffels
    He opens with a big benefit.

    Throws in a Open Loop and some curiosity to keep you reading.

    Skimming the copy I see some big promises and asking some questions and answers.
    The objections are answered with some authority figures.

    More big claims and information to back it up.

    And the PS. Great PS and PPS. Restating everything the prospect is going to get and achieve.

    Also, how their going to lose out if they don't take action right now.


    Bill


    .
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  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    Ross.... its not me... its me channeling Reese.

    its like I hear his voice in my head.... "man... you gotta test"....

    he's definitely testing... he uses optimizely (which is awesome btw)

    still think its kinda ugly at times (hey, I AM a designer), but craig is an amazing marketer, copywriter and kills it in the fitness niche.

    no doubt this offer does well. :-)
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    “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

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  • Profile picture of the author swontario
    Doesn't appeal to me, the exaggeration and fallacies are a big turn off.
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  • Profile picture of the author MDJonesCopy
    Been browsing the forum for a few months. This thread compelled me to sign up.

    In my opinion (which doesn't count for much) from a purely technical perspective the copy is good. There's no denying that, and clearly it's performing. Which is what really counts.

    But...

    It's full of shit.

    As someone with a keen interest in fitness, it totally turns me off. I know, I know, I'm not the target audience. But seriously...

    In most cases the runners who have cardiac arrests had underlying medical conditions (Kelly Barrett for instance).

    The negative effects of running don't really start until you're consistently notching up 30 miles a week.

    Anyone running marathon distances to just 'get in shape' is an idiot. No one does that.

    It tells us we don't need infomercial gimmicks, yet one of the most successful fitness infomercials currently is for Shaun T's Insanity. A program designed around HIIT -- which I am 99% sure Turbulence Training will be (I wonder if the line "So stop the Insanity" is an intentional dig at this?).

    It raises the question, as others have pointed out, of what makes good copy if lies and scaremongering are all you need to rake in the suckers looking for a quick fix.

    Taking it a step further...why use a pro copywriter at all when you can just bullshit? There's no craft in that.

    *As a side note: the only part of the copy that resonated at all was the ageing claims. I run past a lot of 40+ joggers on my route and there is certainly some truth here. Though I suspect it has as much to do with being exposed to the elements as anything else.

    Nothing a balaclava wouldn't sort out...
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    • Profile picture of the author James Fame
      Originally Posted by MDJonesCopy View Post

      Been browsing the forum for a few months. This thread compelled me to sign up.

      In my opinion (which doesn't count for much) from a purely technical perspective the copy is good. There's no denying that, and clearly it's performing. Which is what really counts.

      But...

      It's full of shit.

      As someone with a keen interest in fitness, it totally turns me off. I know, I know, I'm not the target audience. But seriously...

      In most cases the runners who have cardiac arrests had underlying medical conditions (Kelly Barrett for instance).

      The negative effects of running don't really start until you're consistently notching up 30 miles a week.

      Anyone running marathon distances to just 'get in shape' is an idiot. No one does that.

      It tells us we don't need infomercial gimmicks, yet one of the most successful fitness infomercials currently is for Shaun T's Insanity. A program designed around HIIT -- which I am 99% sure Turbulence Training will be (I wonder if the line "So stop the Insanity" is an intentional dig at this?).

      It raises the question, as others have pointed out, of what makes good copy if lies and scaremongering are all you need to rake in the suckers looking for a quick fix.

      Taking it a step further...why use a pro copywriter at all when you can just bullshit? There's no craft in that.

      *As a side note: the only part of the copy that resonated at all was the ageing claims. I run past a lot of 40+ joggers on my route and there is certainly some truth here. Though I suspect it has as much to do with being exposed to the elements as anything else.

      Nothing a balaclava wouldn't sort out...
      I totally thought of Insanity Workout by Shaun T when I read this thread (which has one of the best uses of social proof in their commercial imo).

      Copy wise, the technical side seems pretty solid (the one Matt shows). I use article landers in my marketing as well... I think Truthaboutabs does it too, seen some of them. Sales pages lead to sales, while articles transition a person from an information-seeking phase to a navigational/transactional intent.

      Ah, that sucks. I would have loved to see TheCopyNazi beat it out with the OP. Seems like a good fight we could watch while grabbing some popcorn...

      James Fame
      Signature

      Fire me a pm if you have a question. I build businesses and provide consulting. I do not do finance/money/internet marketing niches. Fitness, self-improvement and various others are welcome.

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    • Profile picture of the author Kevin Williams
      Originally Posted by MDJonesCopy View Post

      It tells us we don't need infomercial gimmicks, yet one of the most successful fitness infomercials currently is for Shaun T's Insanity. A program designed around HIIT -- which I am 99% sure Turbulence Training will be (I wonder if the line "So stop the Insanity" is an intentional dig at this?).
      Having done Insanity, I'm not a fan. I find it more of straight-up cardio than most would like to admit. I do parkour and train almost exclusively with HIIT and am pro-strength training - but would never recommend Insanity.

      Uh...

      I don't really want to argue on the rest of it. It's a nice sales letter for its target audience.
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      • Profile picture of the author Chetr
        The reason this sales letter is so appealing, especially to the right target audience, is that it's a near-perfect blend of:
        1. A proven best-selling clickbank product sales letter concept
        2. It's "informational," why it hardly seems to be selling at all
        3. It's built on a multi-million sales letter foundation used by the liks of Boardroom, Agora, and Millionaire Maker Copywriter CLAYTON MAKEPEACE.
        These people, in my opinion, are very smart!

        Any IMer would benefit from a thorough examination of its content and structure....including copywriters....

        The reason it might seem a bit "strange," and or "funny" is only because it's a world-class piece and you don't often get to see one of these on the WF or Clickbank...

        But they work like gangbusters and in niches like the financial, or medical, and have created HUGE successes.

        Even though I know a lot of what's going on there..., and know it's missing a couple of layers of stuff, I for one am grabbing it for my "copy swipe" file....

        Pro Copywriter, CHET.
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