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Need A Good Headline

by oldschoolwarrior
11 replies
Hello Warriors,

Im writing up a new sales page, and am stuck on a good headline for this niche.

I have looked at the competition, but they all suck, imo.
This is for a membership script.

Im looking for something with some numbers like 400%

- Easy To Use
- Free Trial
Also, pushing on the fact you can make more money by using membership sites.

Can anyone throw a few ideas at me I can play with?
#good #headline
  • Profile picture of the author oldschoolwarrior
    Here is one I came up with ...

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  • Profile picture of the author Cam Connor
    Originally Posted by oldschoolwarrior View Post

    Hello Warriors,

    Im writing up a new sales page, and am stuck on a good headline for this niche.

    I have looked at the competition, but they all suck, imo.
    This is for a membership script.

    Im looking for something with some numbers like 400%

    - Easy To Use
    - Free Trial
    Also, pushing on the fact you can make more money by using membership sites.
    "Get This Software... It's 400% Easier To Use, 400% More Powerful, 400% More Software, and 400% More 400% Than All The Other Softwares Of Its Kind"
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    • Profile picture of the author oldschoolwarrior
      Originally Posted by Cam Connor View Post

      "Get This Software... It's 400% Easier To Use, 400% More Powerful, 400% More Software, and 400% More 400% Than All The Other Softwares Of Its Kind"
      HAHA, funny. I was more specifically referring to something like
      Membership Site Platforms Increase Sales Revenue by 400%!
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  • Profile picture of the author JamesBorg
    Attention: All cash-horny Internet marketers...

    "This Mom-Ready Software
    Sucks Fat Wads Of Hot Cash
    From Breathless Customers
    Screaming For More"

    Free 30-Day Trial
    Puts A Rubber On Your Enthusiasm
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve The Copywriter
    For membership sites a good hook might be - "people want to belong"

    Then tell them how your software lets this happen and brings the 400% increase in sales.


    Steve
    Signature
    http://www.warriorforum.com/warriors...right-now.html
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    @theOP: All the headlines suck because you haven't gotten at anything unique or different about your membership script.

    Easy to use, free trial...those are expectations buyers have.

    And this 400% number, what's the proof you have to support that number in any context?

    Until you figure out what's different about what you have, you don't have the raw materials to make a good headline with. Bland In = Bland Out. So you have a product; so what? Entice me.
    Signature
    >> How To Grow Your Online Business [FREE Training Video, No Opt-In, from 10+ Year Vet]

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    • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
      Jason's right.

      Without differentiation, you're just another fish swimming around in the sea of sameness.

      There's so much noise out there on the internet, you need uniqueness - that benefits the prospect - to be heard.

      Alex
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    • Profile picture of the author dnceluv
      Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan View Post

      @theOP: All the headlines suck because you haven't gotten at anything unique or different about your membership script.

      Easy to use, free trial...those are expectations buyers have.

      And this 400% number, what's the proof you have to support that number in any context?

      Until you figure out what's different about what you have, you don't have the raw materials to make a good headline with. Bland In = Bland Out. So you have a product; so what? Entice me.

      Very good point. It's the unique feature in the USP that's missing a bit.
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Warriors
    Your headline isn't bad, to be honest.

    As Alex said, it needs to be differentiated more. You need an angle that will get attention, not a headline that looks like every other sales letter headline out there. That's something that takes a lot of thought though. I don't think you're going to get anything decent thrown your way as a freebie.
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