Copy needs help with a sales pitch script

by RPVADS
12 replies
Hi.
I've been working as a web copy and recently I've had to tackle different projects. Today I landed a sales (phone) pitch script revision.
After some googling it's easy to see the "do"s and "do"s but I don't agree with some pointers.

For example, I don't like the idea of asking questions. It's supposed to engage the prospect but, to me, it sounds more like me forcing me someone into a script that the other person is very aware. He knows that I have something lined up for his answer so I don't like that approach.

Any general "pro tips" out there? This is an event planning company trying to sell Christmas parties to other companies.

Thanks guys!

PS: I'm Portuguese so my English might be far from perfect.
#copy #pitch #sales #script
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  • You don't have to ask questions - at least not until the end of the pitch.

    The script would go like this.

    Benefit

    Benefit

    Benefit

    "So there it is - how many would you like to order?" (or a milder approach) - "Would you like to buy it?" (either way the answer will always be - Yes, No or an Objection, Question or Concern).

    The "Yes" is easy to deal with. And believe or not with a touch of practise so are the others (but never spend endless time and energy on the people who just won't buy - politely move on, and find the good people who will).


    Your dilemma with questions may be you don't want to sound too aggressive or high pressured.

    The way to solve this is to use a "softener" before you ask the dreaded question.

    So that I make sure this is the right service for you - could I ask?...

    I don't want you to buy until you're absolutely positive you really need and want this service and of course you must thrilled and delighted to have it - so, could I ask you?...


    Steve


    P.S. The very thought of selling to people can make you anxious.

    Here you are barging in on their busy day, often completely uninvited trying to bombard them with details of the latest greatest thing on earth.

    But being a a dash fearful can be your greatest selling tool.

    You just say "It's very important to me to make a good impression and do the best I can to explain this service - so please forgive me if I am a little nervous..."

    Only the most hardcore bolshy prospect would demand that you stop, hang up or leave.

    Everyone else will usually be willing to listen to you. And appreciate your honesty.
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    • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      You just say "It's very important to me to make a good impression and do the best I can to explain this service - so please forgive me if I am a little nervous..."

      Only the most hardcore bolshy prospect would demand that you stop, hang up or leave.

      Everyone else will usually be willing to listen to you. And appreciate your honesty.
      That just might be the absolute weakest place to come from that I have ever heard. Only a total loser would let those words pass over their lips, but I doubt that will ever happen, since their boss would have pegged them as not cut out for sales long before that opportunity would ever arise.

      People will stand there and look at you, or not hang up on you out of a sense of good manners, but they won't hear a single word you are saying. What they'll be thinking is, "If you're well-trained and knowledgeable about your product or service, what do you have to be nervous about?"

      I understand that many won't agree with my opinion, but it's based on decades of selling and training, so I won't argue the point.

      Maybe I was too hard on my people, but I produced winners and if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't change a single thing. Nervous? Really??

      Thank you.
      Signature

      "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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  • Profile picture of the author David Maschke
    Steve nailed it.

    Jordan Befort, known as the "Wolf of Wall street" explains it...

    Signature

    I

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    • Profile picture of the author DigitalCopyWriter
      Hi,

      One of the best, if not the best resource on sales scripts (and in some ways, it is applicable to sales copy too) is from Jordan Belfort.

      To be more precise - The Straight Line Persuasion System.

      There are a few top notch examples in his course, a step by step strategy on how to create it and even templates from which you can take inspiration.

      I also suggest you take a good look on the tonality aspect, as the delivery of the script is as important as the script itself.

      Thank you,
      Razvan
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  • Profile picture of the author Len Bailey
    If you do ask questions, be careful to phrase your questions carefully and only ask ones that increase your prospect's interest. If your prospects feel the question(s) don't apply to them, you run the risk of losing them.

    Take the time to crawl inside your prospect's head. It's worth it.
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    Len Bailey
    Copywriter/Consultant
    Feel free to connect on LinkedIn or Twitter

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    • Originally Posted by Len Bailey View Post

      Take the time to crawl inside your prospect's head. It's worth it.
      Best deal vampires ever had was droppin' the irresistible invite.

      Tellya, Delisho Incisor Bunny shows up onya doorstep, he kinda glides in under your WANNA WANNA WANNA gaze.

      Gotta figure there is a difference between askin' questions an' providin' an opportoonity for answers to geyser up outta the whooshie.

      So I would want always to frame questions as answers an' collude with people's uncertainty in ways suggest we got sumthin' in common.

      But I would not ever recommend bitin' nowan, 'specially on the neck.

      I don't want you to buy until you're absolutely positive you really need and want this service and of course you must thrilled and delighted to have it - so, could I ask you ... would you be offended if I bit you on the neck till your blood ran down like ... my neck?

      Prolly there're only a few niche areas this baby gonna work.
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      Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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  • Profile picture of the author OptedIn
    He's coming on Fox business in a few minutes. Varney and Company.
    Signature

    "He not busy being born, is busy dying." - Bob Dylan • "I vibe with the light-dark point. Heavy." - Words that Bob Dylan wishes he had written.

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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    OK so I've been a sales trainer (as a "real job", first real job in the US, following many years of experience) since 2010 and a copywriter since the mid-90s. I used to offer a script writing offer here but it's closed now.

    What you need to do with the script is SORT.

    WHO is interested in talking with you, now or later?

    WHAT is the objective in the first call?

    Sort by these elements.

    That'll get you into conversations with the right people.

    Trying to convince everyone you can talk to is a recipe for exhaustion, spiritual and physical.

    There are several stages to a call. If you can't reach the decision maker, there's no "rest of the call." If you can't start a conversation well with them, there's no "rest of the call." If you don't know what you're doing, there's no "rest of the call." Each stage requires its own 'technology' or method.

    Recommendations for now:

    1. Get the book "One Call Closing" by Claude Whitacre. It's inexpensive and full of those steps you need.

    2. Develop an understanding of what a callfow should look like, so you can have more specific questions.

    3. Ask those questions.

    If you have a fast-approaching deadline for this project I'll be concerned for you as you have much to figure out in a short time.

    Yes, it could seem like this should be easy: call companies and ask them if they're planning on booking a party this year (late to be doing this for 2017, BTW; should have been on this 6+ months ago...but I *wink* would use this as part of the marketing message and sorting). But those steps need to be in there...reaching the DM...starting the conversation effectively...knowing your objectives and the next stages in the callflow process. Not to mention How Do I Make My List. Who you call is even more important than the script.

    As far as your worry about asking questions, yeah, YOU HAVE TO. I have run scripts for $5000 software products that sounded so robotic to me, but to the listener it was as if there wasn't one. Tonality is how you overcome this. You need to ask questions to qualify your prospect. Without questions you can't do that.

    Qualifying means finding out whether they're a fit for what you offer. Trying to shove your offer at everyone that breathes is a horrible idea as mentioned above. I could go on in detail, but you have the three steps to work on.
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    • Profile picture of the author helisell
      Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan View Post

      OK so I've been a sales trainer (as a "real job", first real job in the US, following many years of experience) since 2010 and a copywriter since the mid-90s. I used to offer a script writing offer here but it's closed now.

      What you need to do with the script is SORT.

      WHO is interested in talking with you, now or later?

      WHAT is the objective in the first call?

      Sort by these elements.

      That'll get you into conversations with the right people.

      Trying to convince everyone you can talk to is a recipe for exhaustion, spiritual and physical.

      There are several stages to a call. If you can't reach the decision maker, there's no "rest of the call." If you can't start a conversation well with them, there's no "rest of the call." If you don't know what you're doing, there's no "rest of the call." Each stage requires its own 'technology' or method.

      Recommendations for now:

      1. Get the book "One Call Closing" by Claude Whitacre. It's inexpensive and full of those steps you need.

      2. Develop an understanding of what a callfow should look like, so you can have more specific questions.

      3. Ask those questions.

      If you have a fast-approaching deadline for this project I'll be concerned for you as you have much to figure out in a short time.

      Yes, it could seem like this should be easy: call companies and ask them if they're planning on booking a party this year (late to be doing this for 2017, BTW; should have been on this 6+ months ago...but I *wink* would use this as part of the marketing message and sorting). But those steps need to be in there...reaching the DM...starting the conversation effectively...knowing your objectives and the next stages in the callflow process. Not to mention How Do I Make My List. Who you call is even more important than the script.

      As far as your worry about asking questions, yeah, YOU HAVE TO. I have run scripts for $5000 software products that sounded so robotic to me, but to the listener it was as if there wasn't one. Tonality is how you overcome this. You need to ask questions to qualify your prospect. Without questions you can't do that.

      Qualifying means finding out whether they're a fit for what you offer. Trying to shove your offer at everyone that breathes is a horrible idea as mentioned above. I could go on in detail, but you have the three steps to work on.
      This is a great post from Jason. I was shuffling in my seat to prepare an answer to the OP until I read this one.

      YOU HAVE TO ASK QUESTIONS.

      I use the doctor analogy a lot when I'm training people.
      Imagine going to the doctor with sever pains in the stomach and the doctor says 'Hi how are you today...listen I have a truly great remedy here that works in 30 seconds and will cure your migraine.......YOU migraine? I don't have migraine.

      Well no but this is a great solution for people who do. Why not give it a try blah blah blah.

      Doctors are the best salespeople on the planet and they don't even know it.

      The build trust [actually they don't because we usually trust them anyway]
      They Examine: [qualify]
      They Prognose [ask a few extra questions and do some thinking]
      They Diagnose [present their solution]
      They Prescribe [Close the deal]

      Whatever sales problem presents itself there is only ever ONE solution and that is 'asking questions' Even the wolf of wall street in the video above says so.

      Nice reply Jason
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      Making Calls To Sell Something? What are you actually saying?
      Is there any room for improvement? Want to find out?

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  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    Helisell is right when he says that you are coming to the party late for 2017.

    But there is a scenario where you could benefit from the fact.

    You could structure your script to sort for companies that have either had party plans fall through, or that for some reason are simply getting a late start.

    Maybe the party planner they booked quit or retired. Maybe the venue got blown away in a storm (see 'Hurricane, Irma or Harvey). Maybe the in-house person went into labor and went on maternity leave. Whatever.

    Your client could be the White Knight that saves the day.

    But to find out, the caller will have to ask questions.

    Do they put on events, like Customer Appreciation Days or company holiday parties?

    Yes, continue. No, thank them for their time and move on.

    Who handles the planning and coordination for these events?

    Do they have an upcoming event?

    Are they happy with the arrangements made?

    These are just sample question ideas to help you sort through your prospects looking for the warm possibles.

    I may be wrong (I know it's hard to believe, but it has happened ), but it seems like this isn't the kind of sale you close on the initial cold call. If I'm right, your objective is to "sell" a further conversation. And the best way to do that is by asking the right questions.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
      Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe View Post

      Helisell is right when he says that you are coming to the party late for 2017.

      But there is a scenario where you could benefit from the fact.

      You could structure your script to sort for companies that have either had party plans fall through, or that for some reason are simply getting a late start.

      Maybe the party planner they booked quit or retired. Maybe the venue got blown away in a storm (see 'Hurricane, Irma or Harvey). Maybe the in-house person went into labor and went on maternity leave. Whatever.

      Your client could be the White Knight that saves the day.

      But to find out, the caller will have to ask questions.

      Do they put on events, like Customer Appreciation Days or company holiday parties?

      Yes, continue. No, thank them for their time and move on.

      Who handles the planning and coordination for these events?

      Do they have an upcoming event?

      Are they happy with the arrangements made?

      These are just sample question ideas to help you sort through your prospects looking for the warm possibles.

      I may be wrong (I know it's hard to believe, but it has happened ), but it seems like this isn't the kind of sale you close on the initial cold call. If I'm right, your objective is to "sell" a further conversation. And the best way to do that is by asking the right questions.
      Actually it was me who mentioned it...and you went in the direction I was thinking.
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  • Profile picture of the author Zack Zeller
    Asking questions is incredibly powerful- I highly recommend you read Spin Selling for more information.

    The first step gets you through the door. You get their attention and build some rapport (so they know you have something interesting AND you're a cool person). That's all about the big benefit and how you talk/present yourself in person, on the phone, or through text.

    Next, since you have them talking or in front of you questions will be key. You'll want to find their WANTS by curiously asking about where they're at. For example, if someone has tried cutting carbs to lose fat they will tell you about their attempts.

    Get curious about the details. This way you can find out it didn't work because they missed eating ice cream, they had a crazy work schedule, and so on.

    NEXT you can pose the benefits as a question. It looks something like this: "So, if you could find a diet that allowed you to eat ice cream but still lose weight, that would seem to be better?" You enter into a conversation with them.

    With this it seems like you just get them and have the PERFECT solution for them. The simplest way is to show them how their wants line up with your benefits and pile on the social proof.

    Something like: Honestly, this new diet we came up with doesn't cut carbs at all. It's all about fasting. You can eat ice cream and don't have to make 6 small meals a day... There are 4 new customers I can think of off the top of my head that actually lost the same 25-35 pounds their first month... (I write for a lot of fitness businesses =P).

    For your niche you can simply swap out the specifics to guide a sales process.

    NOTE: When I write sales scripts I come up with a one-page loose script. We test and record some calls. Next, I revise the script based on the most common objections because sales scripts are more dynamic than a sales letter.

    Keep Killing It!
    -ZZ
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