Visitors Leave Video Sales Page within 10 seconds

by nik555
22 replies
I launched my first clickbank offer. I made a video sales letter, but according to google analytics like 90% of visitors leave site within 10 seconds.
i can't imagine that they don't stay at least 30sec-1min to see what is the video about.

website:basicinstinctformula(dot)com
any suggestions are appreciated
#leave #page #sales #seconds #video #visitors
  • Profile picture of the author Cool Hand Luke
    Just like the rest of your visitors, I left after a few seconds too. Why?

    Well, the audio clearly isn't even a real person; it was obviously one of those text-to-speech programs, really bland and robotic. There were also long pauses in between sentences for no apparent reason. There's no indication on the page about what the video is about or why I should care.

    Overall, no reason to watch or even spark my curiosity.

    I can just about guarantee that if you don't at least fix the voiceover, the product won't do well.
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    • Profile picture of the author Tim R
      I'm saying this to be helpful... your video is terrible. Really terrible. Why would people give you 30 seconds to watch that rubbish?

      You need a decent script and a way better animation, and an actual person to do the voice over. It sounds like Stephen Hawking is reading your sales script.

      You also need to have a compelling headline to tell people why they should watch the video and what's in it for them. The Basic Instinct Formula tells people nothing, and gives them a reason to click away.

      Where are you getting your traffic from at the moment? If you're paying for traffic, you are flushing your money down the toilet sending them to the page you've currently got.

      I think the best thing you can do is hire a professional to do all the work for you, as you don't seem to have a grasp on what an effective sales page looks like. Have you researched other sales pages in the same niche? Do you think yours fairs favourably?

      You need to scrap everything you have and start all over.

      Tim.
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    10 from me. Comedy Gold.
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    • Profile picture of the author nik555
      Thank you for honest answers.
      Can i find someone on the forum who can do voiceovers?
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  • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
    Man, I do miss my old "Speak and Spell" toy that I used to play with as a kid.

    "A cow goes Mooooo" Was that used on the video?

    But in all seriousness, I don't even think Morgan Freeman doing your voice over will help this increase sales, since the voice over is just one of the issues.

    For starters, and most importantly, the headline means zero when you land on the page. What does that even mean? What are you trying to say? to whom?
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Wow, you need to fix that immediately.

    If you can do nothing else, fix the voiceover. I'm not even going to talk about anything else. That's what turned me off in 5 seconds. Then it started mispronouncing things and putting emPHAsis on the wrong SYLlable. At that point, I closed the window with no regrets whatsoever.

    Your message is not even having the chance to be communicated. I heard the offer was about dating. That's it. I don't know who your target market is, what this is about, the price, etc. Get ANYONE to do a voiceover, no matter how cheap--viewing times will increase, guaranteed. Go to a freelancing site. Is your target men or women? What age? Find talent that matches.

    Also, put controls back into the player. People HATE it when there aren't any controls. They want to rewind to catch something they miss. They want to know how long this is going to take. They want to be able to pause it for a moment.

    But they don't want to pause your video as it is. They want to get out of there as fast as they can, because it's awful.
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    • Profile picture of the author Memetics
      Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan View Post

      Wow, you need to fix that immediately.

      If you can do nothing else, fix the voiceover. I'm not even going to talk about anything else. That's what turned me off in 5 seconds. Then it started mispronouncing things and putting emPHAsis on the wrong SYLlable. At that point, I closed the window with no regrets whatsoever.

      Your message is not even having the chance to be communicated. I heard the offer was about dating. That's it. I don't know who your target market is, what this is about, the price, etc. Get ANYONE to do a voiceover, no matter how cheap--viewing times will increase, guaranteed. Go to a freelancing site. Is your target men or women? What age? Find talent that matches.

      Also, put controls back into the player. People HATE it when there aren't any controls. They want to rewind to catch something they miss. They want to know how long this is going to take. They want to be able to pause it for a moment.

      But they don't want to pause your video as it is. They want to get out of there as fast as they can, because it's awful.
      Good advice there. I came out of a 10 year coma just to turn it off...
      Signature

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    • Profile picture of the author Sean Fry
      Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan View Post

      Also, put controls back into the player. People HATE it when there aren't any controls. They want to rewind to catch something they miss. They want to know how long this is going to take. They want to be able to pause it for a moment.
      Here's an idea: Post some evidence that this advice results in higher conversions. I'll wait.
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  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    cant polish a turd.
    Signature

    “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

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  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    learned it from one of my teachers at miami ad school back in the day...

    you can take a turd and polish it, make it look real shiny, but its still a turd.

    turd = a bad idea
    Signature

    “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

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  • Profile picture of the author Don Grace
    LOL!! Sorry, can't help it, this could be a good upsell...

    DR Porkenhiemer Boner Juice on Vimeo
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  • Profile picture of the author Paleruby
    Hope you didn't pay anyone to make that.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark 99
    Wow, that was really weird good for a laugh. Apart from the voice over the script is not good at all. It doesn't follow any sort of formula. It has no emotion and even with the best voice over in the world won't convert.

    I would start from the drawing board. Go back and look at other VSL's that do well in a similar niche and take notes. Sorry if this sounds harsh but this video really is the worst I have seen. But it's all about learning from mistakes. Good luck
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  • Profile picture of the author franergy
    nik55,

    I agree with the valuable input Jason Kanigan gave you and would add these quick "to dos"

    1) you can hire a voiceover person for $5 - $15 at fiverr.com
    2) you can also hire a copywriter there who'll improve your script (do this first)
    3) watch other sales videos on Clickbank so you can see what that community is used to seeing in sales videos/pages (search weight loss category)
    3a) watch other sales videos and read other sales pages for products like yours
    4) hire someone on fiverr to redo your whiteboard video
    5) ask someone who's good at sales videos/pages to look at your new vids
    6) use the current video as your BEFORE in a future product :-)

    Best,
    Franergy
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  • Profile picture of the author Don Grace
    1) you can hire a voiceover person for $5 - $15 at fiverr.com
    2) you can also hire a copywriter there who'll improve your script (do this first)
    4) hire someone on fiverr to redo your whiteboard video
    Are you kidding me!?

    To do this the RIGHT way and make a ton of dough you're looking right around the 10K range for everything. And that's a drop in the bucket compared to the potential you have in that market.

    Nobody, I mean NOBODY that can deliver the goods will be on Fiverr pimping their goods for a few lousy bucks.

    Seriously, think about it... Why in the world would a copywriter capable and proven to generate millions whip you up a script for five bucks? Why would a kick ass voice over person take five bucks to do it when they normally make $100 PER MINUTE.
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  • Profile picture of the author ChrisDH
    Yeah as everyone said above.... Fix the video....

    Your first few seconds of every video has got to grab the attention of the viewer and make them want to watch more.

    Videos have got to be the full deal. You need a good script, a good voice over and a good video. If you miss out on any of those components it will fail.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sandycmy
    I'm one of those who dislike a video sales letters as long as there is a real person solving a real solution.
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    • Profile picture of the author Cool Hand Luke
      Originally Posted by Sandycmy View Post

      I'm one of those who dislike a video sales letters as long as there is a real person solving a real solution.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sean Fry
    Originally Posted by nik555 View Post

    i can't imagine that they don't stay at least 30sec-1min to see what is the video about.
    Why can't you imagine that? Do you honestly think your video is any good?

    You already started another thread where a bunch of people gave you advice on your video, but you completely ignored everything and started this thread to see if you would get responses you want to hear. To me you come off as delusional, which is a 100% guarantee for failure in direct response marketing.
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  • Profile picture of the author Ghoster
    i can't imagine that they don't stay at least 30sec-1min to see what is the video about.
    This assumption is likely your problem. People have 100 things that they want to do when they're online. They don't have time to sit and watch a sale's pitch...unless they do.

    The first thing you have to do is sell them on your site itself. Why should they stay if all you're doing is trying to sell them something?
    Signature

    On the whole, you get what you pay for.

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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Warriors
    I would LIKE to give you some feedback on the copy, but honestly, the robot voice in your video is such a turn off I can't keep paying attention to it.

    You need to get that changed ASAP. Either hire a real human being to do it or use a HIGH END voiceover technology service.
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