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What do you think of my call to action?

by Martin Pupke
8 replies
Warriors I don't have any copywriting skills so I turn to you for help. I built a website where I give away a freebie, and the call to action bit is on the left of the opt in form as you can see by visiting my website at: http://fitnesstips4everyone.com/

My questions are do you think the call to action section is any good? Would it make you download the freebie? And if any what changes would you make to improve the call to action section.

Thanks
#action #call
  • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
    Get rid of all the other links on the site, so that they're only option is to optin to get the report, or not. other links will just invite people to go off onto something else.

    also, you'll want to make your optin form more noticeable.

    Take a look at Frank's optin... see how yours is different...

    http://unbouncepages.com/frankkernoctober-1/
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    MILLION Dollar Copywriter Offering Written Sales Letter or VSL Script Worth $5,000 - Just $500!
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  • Profile picture of the author urban renewal
    People don't want a "free ebook."

    They want to know what to do so they don't feel embarrassed when they take their shirt off.

    Tell them the 3 foods that will melt belly fat. Tell them the 5 dangerous "healthy foods" that secretly keep them fat. Tell them the simple exercise they can do today that only takes 5 minutes that will burn more calories than an hour of bouncing on a treadmill.

    ... but for god's sake, don't promise them a "free ebook."

    Also, put a CTA at the bottom of the page. You're losing people there too.

    Hope this helps.
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    -Clayton

    http://www.ClaytonTerao.com

    I'm a conversion consultant who helps you make more money online with your business.

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    • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
      Originally Posted by urban renewal View Post

      People don't want a "free ebook."

      They want to know what to do so they don't feel embarrassed when they take their shirt off.

      Tell them the 3 foods that will melt belly fat. Tell them the 5 dangerous "healthy foods" that secretly keep them fat. Tell them the simple exercise they can do today that only takes 5 minutes that will burn more calories than an hour of bouncing on a treadmill.

      ... but for god's sake, don't promise them a "free ebook."

      Also, put a CTA at the bottom of the page. You're losing people there too.

      Hope this helps.
      Clayton hit the nail right on the head... take what he wrote and run with it.

      I've been in the fitness niche for 13 years and couldn't have said it better.
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  • Profile picture of the author urban renewal
    Thanks Shawn. Good to get a nod of approval from a long time veteran.
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    -Clayton

    http://www.ClaytonTerao.com

    I'm a conversion consultant who helps you make more money online with your business.

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    • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
      Originally Posted by urban renewal View Post

      Thanks Shawn. Good to get a nod of approval from a long time veteran.
      Clayton.

      It took me all of about 30 seconds of reading your site that I could just tell you "get it" and that you're a VERY good copywriter.

      Those who know copy can spot it... and you, my friend, know how to write.

      I spent some time on your blog, because quite frankly, I like your writing style.

      I just like giving props where props are due... and it's due here. Whatever you're doing... keep doing it, because it's good.
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      • Profile picture of the author GlenH
        If you want more of your prospects to download your 'free' report, then let them do it with...no string attached.

        Instead of having the optin form on your web page, put the optin form right inside the PDF report itself.

        Your prospects opens the pdf report and starts reading it, then after a couple of minutes an optin form appears with a personalized message from you.

        The prospect then has to optin if they want to keep reading the rest of your report.

        It's a simple but powerful twist on the standard style of 'squeeze page' everyone is using
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        • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
          Martin,

          Your call to action is...

          "Interested in a FREE E-BOOK that solves some common weight loss puzzles?"

          Not only is the e-book wrong as already mentioned,
          it's far too wimpy.

          It needs to be more along the lines of...

          "Do X and you'll get this and this, now!"

          Therefore you need to boil down your offer into as
          few words as possible so they fit into that one sentence.

          Forcing yourself to bring the offer into 1 sentence cuts out the fat
          and leaves you with a buff mind grabber.

          What's the BIG idea that is news and only you have which gets a flabby guy to sit up to take notice?

          Best,
          Ewen
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  • Profile picture of the author max5ty
    I may be off base here with my thinking...but I'm going off what I perceive.

    It appears as though you're trying to do a soft sell by doing a blog on fitness, etc.

    By doing your blog it appears as though you're trying to promote your ebook.

    If I'm correct...I'd suggest an ad on the side like you have...only spruce it up to make it captivating...

    then set aside it's own page to promote the ebook that clickers are taken to.

    Trying to promote the ebook on the same page as a blog entry is confusing.
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