Writing Copy For My New Web Site (Fitness)

Hey Guys,

I'm a weight loss coach and body transformation expert. Here is my personal training site Ottawa Personal Trainer | Ottawa Weight Loss | Ottawa Fat Loss | Fat Loss Solutions Inc.

I'm not expanding my services in order to impact more lives and help more people along the way. I will be running 'boot camps' but since I hate boot camps i'm calling mine a 'fit camp'. I'm in the process of writing copy for it. I'm stuck right now, I guess I don't have a template that I'm following, just writing as I go. I'm trying to hit on the pain trigger poitns, as well as connect with the reader on a personal/emotional level by sharing with them my personal story. I'm also using a bit of a story behind why i'm offering these fit camps now (trying to make it all about them, which is true). It was either hire a trainer to take on more one on one clients or I can continue coching people myself (which I love) but in a different format.

Can someone please help guide me, let me know if what I have right now is total crap or is decent for a first draft! Keep in mind I'm half way through. I want to finish the first draft by tonight. Here is what I have so far (half way there). Need some input/motivation to help me wrap it up don't be too mean now...

Ps. I have a few offers, I'll be offering a 'skinny jeans' guaranteed (once you hit your weight loss goal (must be a minimum of 20lbs drop) I will buy you your first pair of skinny jeans (up to $200). I will also be offering Cash prize on body transformation challenges, as well as a full money back guarantee! Targeting Females 25-35 who want to lose 20-50lbs.

I'm not a writer, I do my best, i do enjoy the process but need some encouragement right now and help.
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YES YOU CAN lose it and keep it off for good, but you must believe it in order to achieve it!
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Believing it is an important step but you also need to have a coherent system in place that guarantees success! Transformation Fit Camps has one of the most successful track records in Ottawa for helping people just like you lose weight and feel great!

Here is how you can burn fat fast, lose weight and inches and get your sexy back without Wasting Anymore of your precious Time On Impossible Diet Plans and Painful/Boring Workout routines!
Watch this video to get the 3 week special $197 $47

Video

Warning: Many of my female clients complain about having to spend too much money on new clothes, since everything’s just too big on them now and they’re looking so good and feeling sexy they end up holding themselves to a higher standard and end up buying expensive clothes that reflect their new earned self-esteem and self worth.

Here is how it works Graphic:
First session totally free à after your first session you can take advantage of our web special of 3 weeks for $47 à then once you love it, and see how much .. you can stay on board for just 197/month (equivalent to 2 personal training sessions with me)

All you have to do to get started is click the ‘Transform Now’ Button and you’re on your way to making the transformation of your life!

Here is our schedule graphic:
Pictures of facility

Hi, I’m Ruslan

I want you to know that I get exactly what you’re going through!

Struggling with weight sucks as it takes away from you living your life to the fullest! I’ve been there myself where you’re constantly consumed by it, and it feels as if your entire life has been put on a pause, because you’re waiting for your body to change in order to change your life. At my heaviest I was tipping the scales at nearly 300lbs, I was in a dark place at that time, depressed, unmotivated and discouraged. I missed out on an entire decade, knowing that I’ll never get my 20’s back I had to change and so I discovered a way out and so can you! I do relate to what you’re going through and I understand what it takes to truly transform your body and your life for good!
My personal Before/After shots
Not only have I had success myself in this area but I’ve also helped many folks Just Like You do the same!

A Few client before/afters in a row


Bad News!
Up until now my coaching services where only available in a privet one-on-one coaching setting. Since I only take on 8-10 private coaching clients a year on 12-month agreements I’m always booked solid.

Over the last 4 years I’ve had to turn away a lot of folks (you may have been one of them) I either didn’t have the availability to take them on as private coaching clients or some just couldn’t afford my services at ($95-$135/h).

I’ll be honest with you. Looking back and knowing that I could have been helping more people along the way but didn’t (because they couldn’t afford my expertise or our scheduling didn’t work out) breaks my heart and keeps me up at night!
So here we are!

Since my ULTIMATE goal in life is to help more people reach their weight loss goals for the sole purpose so that they can live out their dreams (where their weight is no longer holding them back in life) I’ve put together another world class coaching service that will help MORE people Just Like You burn fat, trim inches, feel and look amazing in a fun, supportive, innovative, inspirational way which is also cost effective!

Good News! (here i want to get into what the program offers, all the perks and now they can afford me and get the result that they want).

Transformation Fit Camps will help you get into your skinny jeans!

I’m calling it the anti-boot camp FIT CAMP! To be honest with you I’m not a fan of boot camps and what they’re all about. For the most part they made big promises but delivered no results, they beat people up and left them sore for days in some cases even injured.

Pictures of unhappy people working out at a boot camp and drill sergeant!

That’s not what I’m about and that’s not what the TFC coaching model is about either!
It’s not about beating you up in the gym, it’s not about depriving you of foods that spice up your life and it’s not about shaming you for being overweight.

All that is about to change!

A transformation must be a self empowering experience rather then a self punishing and self depriving one.
..... i'll continue writing after an hour break need some coffee