Sales Page Review

Aside from how you can improve the actual copy, include some testimonials. Ideally before and after pictures if you've got them.

I know I don't have any before and after pictures. That's b/c no users have given me any yet.

Wasn't the worst piece I've seen posted here...you had some good things going on.

Was trying to figure out if you're focused on a prevention or a cure. Prevention is usually a sales loss. I think you need to be a little clearer in your marketing.

Didn't think you came out of the gate swinging. The whole thing started out kind of bland...not enough ducking on my part to take your message as something I thought I should pay attention to.

Thought your headline and sub headline were terrible. Didn't like the word "conventional"...too long and caused me to pause too long to consider it's use.

Sub-headline made me think this was something that wasn't useful...read further and decided that actually it wasn't true. Most celebrities and doctors know this stuff.

Thought you should have started with some killer bullet points.

The part where you tell whats in the book was bland. You need to excite that up...also I'd list a page number.

Story should be made more exciting...

make me part of the pain, not knowing, etc. Bring me more into the story.

Kind of liked the part where you only charge $5, then bill full amount after 30 days. You don't make it clear in your letter though. Could be a selling point. Wouldn't ask for $5 though...just send it free and bill them in 30 days. You need to offer some type of ongoing follow up though to keep them the 30 days. A second report, etc.?

Some very quick thoughts.

Good luck in your marketing.

This is helpful. Time to start editing and testing.