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Which is more effective and have I got it right?

by Michael Nguyen
2 replies
Hi all

I'm want to targer offline clients with the following samples and wanted
to know which is more effective. I know the simple answer is to test each one but I still want to make sure I have a good foundation to work on.

My offer is a report to reveal why SEO is risky and xyz.

I have 2 landing pages I could use:

Don't Buy SEO Until You Read This | - Is my head line good enough and the sub heading?

Free Report (I've yet to create video)

Where can I improve with the current message?


Thank you for the replies.

Michael Nguyen
#effective
  • Profile picture of the author Tim R
    Without going into too much detail, I think you've got some problems here. The headline is weak - isn't specific enough and doesn't convey any kind of benefit. Very vanilla and nothing to differentiate it from anything else on the topic.

    All of your copy for the free report is only focused on the negative aspects. A lot of people simply won't respond to this. You'd do better to swap your bullet points for ones that actually focus on the benefits I'll gain from reading your report. If the report only contains info on what you've listed in your current bullet points, you might need to come up with a stronger product.

    Tim.
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    • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
      Are you talking to businesses or are you talking to retards?

      I'm not saying do this, but spot the difference.

      Pretend just the middle bit was the landing page.

      Reasonably interesting so I get the report just by clicking.

      None of this wasting my time with give me your e-mail etc etc.

      The 10% profit opportunity | KPMG | UK

      Professionals talking to Professionals.

      That is how you get businesses to be your clients.

      Now KPMG could make some effort but they rely on their name so you can probably see what can be done to improve this middle bit I refer to, but can you see how you can adapt this?

      Dan
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