My Opt In Rate Sucks, Pls Critique My squeeze Page

by 4q
34 replies
Hi all, need some advice pls!

I'm sending targeted paid PPC traffic to my squeeze page, but no matter how I re-word it, change the layout, design etc, I cant achieve a better opt in rate (singe opt in) of 15%

Any ideas where I'm going wrong? This is my best version so far:

Diabetes Beaten

All suggestions greatly appreciated. Thanks.
#critique #opt #page #pls #rate #squeeze #sucks
  • Profile picture of the author Sarevok
    Way too much text.

    My squeeze pages are like this:

    1) ONE headline.
    2) ONE sub headline.
    3) CALL TO ACTION / Opt-in box.

    That's it.
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    • Profile picture of the author ooND
      Originally Posted by Sarevok View Post

      Way too much text.

      My squeeze pages are like this:

      1) ONE headline.
      2) ONE sub headline.
      3) CALL TO ACTION / Opt-in box.

      That's it.
      thanks you
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  • Profile picture of the author Jeff Lenney
    I'm PRETTY sure posts like this go in the copywriting section

    At any rate though, I closed it right away - it was WAYYYYYYY too much info

    Try something like this: Make Passive income with Kindle Publishing - that's one I built using WP Lead Rocket and the opt-in rate is AMAZING

    Simplicity is Key
    Signature

    Too lazy to write something clever here, so check out my marketing blog and learn from a REAL Super Affiliate at JeffLenney.com

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    • Profile picture of the author vinniebiu
      Is this your site? I think its brilliant. How much traffic do you get from it?
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      • Profile picture of the author Jeff Lenney
        Originally Posted by vinniebiu View Post

        Is this your site? I think its brilliant. How much traffic do you get from it?
        Did you even read his post?
        Signature

        Too lazy to write something clever here, so check out my marketing blog and learn from a REAL Super Affiliate at JeffLenney.com

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  • Profile picture of the author gcbmark20
    Hi,

    1. Possibly too much information on a single page.

    2. Try to mention the word FREE as many times as you can.

    3. Nice short to the point headlines seem to work really well.

    4. Ask ONLY for the email not the name also.

    5. Make it EASY for people to quickly look over the page and say yes.

    6. Adding a very short to the point video could see an increase also.

    7. TEST, TEST & TEST AGAIN - different variations of squeeze
    pages to see which one wins.

    Allow your results to dictate your next move.

    All the best
    Gavin
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  • Profile picture of the author Horacioplus
    When i do paid advertising! I always make 2-3 different landing pages to test my results.
    To be honest i don't like your Landing page!
    Here is why! Too much information! and the red box doesnt help.
    When i create new landing page! I ask my self this questions. Would i put my email on this?

    Now take a look a one of my landing pages! Just click my signature!
    It a simple and clean! and it gets an average between 55% -60%
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  • Profile picture of the author gibs
    people have extremely short attention spans, limit the text to like a few short important words. People wont read it all if not and then wont even bother to hit submit
    Signature

    Gibs ~ 15 years in IM and Web/SEO Development
    www.gibsonline.com

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  • Profile picture of the author Chriswrighto
    As most people have said...

    Too much text.

    If you want that much text, then you need to give something away to add value.

    Perhaps cover a small point and then ask for the subscription for more.
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    Wealthcopywriter.com :)

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    • Profile picture of the author PaulSolid
      Banned
      May be someone else should suggest a good simple squeeze page for him to see how it looks like.
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    • Profile picture of the author David Burnett
      Lol looks like some pre sale copy!

      Shorten the text as everyone has said. If you know your audience you should be able to write something that makes them "tick" with a few short lines.

      No body likes to read. They need to know it's what they want in the first few seconds of being on the page.
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  • Profile picture of the author onSubie
    The sales copy says:

    (Medical experts finally CRACKED THE CODE....I was one of the first diabetes sufferer's to trial this!)

    Dear Friend, my name is Brian Palin and like you, I suffered terribly with diabetes for many years. The fear, embarrassment and health worries this illness brought upon me blighted my life and destroyed my self confidence.

    I was desperate for a solution....

    Out of the blue, I was invited to trial a secret diabetes treatment program.


    But when I Google "Brian Palin Diabetes" I get zero results. The only 'Palin' who shows up in the results is Sarah Palin.

    It may be that your sales copy looks like a sales pitch and not at "true story".

    For things like Diabetes Cures (which don't really exist) credibility is a huge issue.

    If none of the claims in a sales letter can be verified with Google (names, studies, patient results, news items) then many customers may balk.

    Talking about participating studies and treatments for a medical condition is different than saying "I made $7,312 in 8 days".

    You would expect that legitimate medical studies and results would be independently verifiable.

    It would be better if you stated who the "Medical Experts" were who ran the trial you participated in, what the results were and where people can find more information about the trial.

    You also do not distinguish between Type I and Type II diabetes. There is a huge difference and Type I diabetes cannot be prevented or reversed with diet/execise like Type II.

    Seeing as your username is 4q and you do not sign your posts, can you confirm that your name is actually "Brian Palin" and you are the diabetic in the sales letter who participated in medical trials?

    Compare that with Googling "Paul Dolby Diabetes". A UK man who tried an experimental low-calorie diet to treat diabetes.

    I think the whole page and sales copy looks scammy and people with a real medical condition may be put off.

    Mahlon
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  • Profile picture of the author Bruce NewMedia
    It's looks like the beginning of sales letter, not a squeeze page.
    So, I agree with the other posters, its too long and does not seem
    like an authentic testimony...

    I'll give you another example of a problem;

    One bullet point says, "You'll discover the 7 lifestyle secrets that
    will effectively eradicate your diabetes."


    That is the kind of statement that a diabetic says to themself,
    'Oh, I know what that is, like lose weight, reduce carbs, exercise et
    c"
    ...and they assume its all common knowledge.

    Hence they don't sign up.

    One copy tip is to imply in your page, things they've never heard, or things
    that sound completely contrary to the accepted norms.
    _____
    Bruce

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    • Profile picture of the author GlenH
      I'd also be getting rid of all that copy. It's way too much

      For a tough market like diabetes, I'd be setting up a simple 'survey squeeze page' where you get the visitor involved immediately they land on your page.

      Ask them a few simple relevant questions which will demonstrate to them that you have interest in their problem, and that you know what you're talking about.

      Your visitor will then start to feel much more comfortable about you, and so will be much more prepared to give you their contact details
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  • Profile picture of the author loaf1011
    When people think about conversion rates they almost always blame the squeeze page. Everyone is giving great feedback regarding your squeeze page, so I'll ask the other extremely important question: are your visitors targeted enough?

    Maybe it would convert extremely well if all diabetes-sufferers landed on it. Who knows, you may be attracting people without diabetes, in which case their conversion rate will be 0%.
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    • Why would anyone believe IM sales hype over their doctor?
    • Why do you have a single squeeze page instead of split testing?
    • Why is the optin form below the fold?
    • Why do you need a name on the optin form (don't say because of GetResponse)? When a subject is personal (health), people don't like to hand out personal details (ex: name).

    You make bold health claims so obviously your not doing any PPC on Adwords, you've most likely settled for a low quality PPC network that doesn't care who advertises as long as they have money. That usually ends up as low quality traffic, or even bot traffic.

    Scrap the squeeze page & head on over to Keywordspy, search your keyword on Keywordspy & review PPC advertiser ads from Google Adwords (SERPs) where they have a long history of advertising, next research those advertisers sales pages.

    I hope the finished product is better than the sales claims/copy, otherwise you'll be getting a lot of refunds.
    Signature
    Hi
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  • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
    How well are the leads converting into sales?

    You can have a 35% conversion rate but poor profits because the leads aren't converting. Have you thought about that?
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott McKinstry
    It's also not clear what you get when you opt-in. Pdf report? Ebook? Email course? By making it specific, you give subscribers something tangible they can wrap their heads around.

    Let them know exactly what they're getting, like eljeffe77's linked example (above) does.
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  • Profile picture of the author JonMills
    Originally Posted by 4q View Post

    Hi all, need some advice pls!

    I'm sending targeted paid PPC traffic to my squeeze page, but no matter how I re-word it, change the layout, design etc, I cant achieve a better opt in rate (singe opt in) of 15%

    Any ideas where I'm going wrong? This is my best version so far:

    Diabetes Beaten

    All suggestions greatly appreciated. Thanks.
    Headline is weak. It wreaks... Let me spam the crap out of you and sell you a scammy product. AKA I'm not really a Diabetes sufferer.

    The rest is missing CREDIBILITY, wording that let's diabetes sufferers know without a shadow of a doubt that you are an ex-diabetes sufferer.

    Think about what DIABETES does. How does it effect the body?

    Then how will your information change/solve that?

    What will be the result of them spending time going through it?
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  • Profile picture of the author tehdellguy22
    tooooo much text
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    • Profile picture of the author Mikesweeney
      15% for PPC traffic (depending on the market) is not horrific. Are you using double opt-in or single opt-in? If you're using double opt-in and switch to single opt-in you may see your numbers almost double. However, your list may not be as responsive.

      I would trim it down a bit though like others have said. Or split test it against your standard above the fold squeeze page with about 3-5 bullets.
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  • Profile picture of the author 0898
    There's no opt-in form on the page. I'm 3 mins into the video and it's still not there. Am I missing something?
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    • Profile picture of the author raywarrior1978
      Hey guys, well now that we are on this topic, i didn't want to open a new thread for this same subject, so i was wondering if you guys can also critic my squeeze as well

      here it is: www.youcan.earncashbyuploadingvideos.com

      I used a free squeeze page creator, the only thing I don't like is at the bottom it says:
      Want a free squeeze page too? Click here to use our free squeeze page creator!

      I guess since is a free version that has to show up.

      Anyways, let me know what you guys think.

      I have never purchase any solo ads and I am a bit scare to spend the little bit of money I have and get no opt ins, so let me know what I can do to improve it and also if someone can test out my sales funnel

      thanks guys!
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      • Profile picture of the author srh41
        Originally Posted by raywarrior1978 View Post

        Hey guys, well now that we are on this topic, i didn't want to open a new thread for this same subject, so i was wondering if you guys can also critic my squeeze as well

        here it is: www.youcan.earncashbyuploadingvideos.com

        I used a free squeeze page creator, the only thing I don't like is at the bottom it says:
        Want a free squeeze page too? Click here to use our free squeeze page creator!

        I guess since is a free version that has to show up.

        Anyways, let me know what you guys think.

        I have never purchase any solo ads and I am a bit scare to spend the little bit of money I have and get no opt ins, so let me know what I can do to improve it and also if someone can test out my sales funnel

        thanks guys!

        I would say use different font, a little more eye catching. I like the simplicity of the page. the mail is not active as well. best thing to do is use get response or Aweber for email, you can create this entire thing from their.
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        Strike where their is lots of Competition!!!!.....If you don't........... it's like opening a business in the country.....
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    • Profile picture of the author Geni758
      Originally Posted by 0898 View Post

      There's no opt-in form on the page. I'm 3 mins into the video and it's still not there. Am I missing something?
      Same here. I didn't even get a squeeze page, just straight to the sales video. :confused:
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      Geni
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  • Profile picture of the author Xiqual
    Title:
    * People don't want to learn, as it implies effort & changes
    * Erasing?

    Thinks “Unveil an Almost Banned But 100% Scientifically-Backed Way To Releasing From Diabetes in Only 21 Days... ” will work better, you could as well do some split-tests.

    The sales funnel is also opt-in killing: better to make, for example, first a written version of the video page, then the diabetes healing recipe ebook think... but, for lead capturing sake, remplace "click here" with autoresponder form... and then, do the sale via email.
    Back 2 basics.

    Just mine 2 cents.
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  • Profile picture of the author srh41
    Originally Posted by 4q View Post

    Hi all, need some advice pls!

    I'm sending targeted paid PPC traffic to my squeeze page, but no matter how I re-word it, change the layout, design etc, I cant achieve a better opt in rate (singe opt in) of 15%

    Any ideas where I'm going wrong? This is my best version so far:

    Diabetes Beaten

    All suggestions greatly appreciated. Thanks.


    This is an affiliate link. your actually - jhw03
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    Strike where their is lots of Competition!!!!.....If you don't........... it's like opening a business in the country.....
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  • Profile picture of the author srh41
    Originally Posted by 4q View Post

    Hi all, need some advice pls!

    I'm sending targeted paid PPC traffic to my squeeze page, but no matter how I re-word it, change the layout, design etc, I cant achieve a better opt in rate (singe opt in) of 15%

    Any ideas where I'm going wrong? This is my best version so far:

    Diabetes Beaten

    All suggestions greatly appreciated. Thanks.


    any way ppc traffic the way you describe it at 15% is probably not targeted enough. try exact match for good key words and don't forget negative keywords. if you don't know what I'm talking about don't use ppc until you learn more. You will just burn your budget up.
    Also try 7search.com ( not an affiliate) to test your ppc. Google will kill you, it's way to hard to compete with a small budget, which you should have to do testing anyway. after you have sales you can then scale it up.

    pm me if you want direction
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    Strike where their is lots of Competition!!!!.....If you don't........... it's like opening a business in the country.....
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  • Profile picture of the author srh41
    Originally Posted by 4q View Post

    Hi all, need some advice pls!

    I'm sending targeted paid PPC traffic to my squeeze page, but no matter how I re-word it, change the layout, design etc, I cant achieve a better opt in rate (singe opt in) of 15%

    Any ideas where I'm going wrong? This is my best version so far:

    Diabetes Beaten

    All suggestions greatly appreciated. Thanks.
    what exactly did you change from the original creator? Reverse-Your-Diabetes-Today.com - Official Website
    Signature
    Strike where their is lots of Competition!!!!.....If you don't........... it's like opening a business in the country.....
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  • Profile picture of the author Sam Streubel
    All I see when I click the link to Diabetes Beaten is a boiler plate video pitch. What gives?
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  • Profile picture of the author rsinanan
    Hello,

    I noticed you are not offering anything free.

    Currently I am working a PDF entitled "A Quick Guide to Understanding Diabetes Mellitus".

    I am a medical doctor and I work in the ICU & Anaesthesia department at my hospital.

    I can give you full re-seller rights to the document and I will make it re-brandable. Sell it or give it away for free. Your choice.

    Maybe asking for emails in exchange for a free guide might help your opt in rate.

    Let me know if you want to collaborate.

    By the way, I am REALLY turned off by the type of video on your page. At least give people the option to stop it or do a full text page.

    I am posting this without seeing the end of your video. Sorry.

    Thanks.

    Dr. Ravi Sinanan
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  • Profile picture of the author troy23
    I don't think there is too much text there at all.
    One of my squeeze pages reads like an encyclopdia and I get around 20 opt ins a day for years.
    It might be your choice of keywords or this product is being promoted by too many others.
    PPC is very hard to crack.
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  • You have no real headline, nothing to hook me in.
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  • Dude,

    This is mega-overkill for a squeeze page.

    The reason you're not getting many opt-ins (I suspect) is because a lot of people are closing the pop up opt in form to watch the video. It's confusing seeing the two side by side.
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