Need critique of my stock pick site

Well, to be honest... I'm not so sure that stocks are as popular right now as they used to be, which may very well be effecting your conversions.

One thing I did notice is you used the words, "we" and "our" many times throughout the letter. In copy, you always want to focus on the reader by using the word, "you" as much as possible.

I also wasn't too fond of the headline. It didn't grab my attention, so work on that a bit. You can review other sales letters, in the same niche for examples.

The actual graphics of the site is easy on the eyes and well-developed for your targeted market, so great job there.

I hope this helps!

What you need is SOLID PROOF staring us in the face when we open that page - verifiable facts and figures - without having to click a link. You say it yourself - " At the same time I also know that analytical stock traders don't respond as well to "hard sales" or hype." So cut to the chase.

And lose the videos from the three bozos - totally unbelievable as they read their scripted "testimonials".

Before you go and change the copy, I'd take a good look at your design elements and ask yourself if you think the design is working for your product?

Too often copywriters get stuck on the words, and while words matter, the way they are visually presented to us matters as well.

I'm not a designer, but I can tell you straight away that my eyes are not sure where to begin looking.

The part of your site that is "above the fold" does not tell me very quickly why I should stay on your website. In a salesletter, the part that keeps me on the page is usually a very strong headline. But headlines aren't the only way to keep people on a website.

A strong, unique visual component works wonders. All the pictures on your website are stock footage. They are, as you pointed out "boring".

You can also use a more powerful tag-line that speaks directly to the reader, rather than to some "active investor". I don't know if I'm an active investor. I don't know if I meet that criteria.

A more compelling tagline might be "Stellar Profits- Whatever the Market!"

Also, the banner at the top of your website is far too big. It takes me too long to get to the information, and by that time I'm already gone.

Your text is also bunched too closely together, and feature extremely long sentences. While I'm aware that the investment niche can generally get away with using a higher grade level of vocabulary, on a website it can be difficult to read giant blocks of text as in your "How It Works" tab.

You might also want to look into your email newsletter and pull out some of the subject lines to provide examples of what kind of information you provide. You could say things like

"In May alone, our members learned..." and then list some of the headlines, or rephrase them so that you reveal the "what", without saying exactly "how". So for example, if you list exactly what stock to invest in, you might say: "In May, our members discovered three little-known stocks in the ____ industry that wound up increasing by more than ____%!"

These specifics can go a long way to convincing your visitors to subscribe.

Anyway, hope some of that helps!

Hi searchnology,

Omar Khafagy is onto something.

I don't know specifically what's "broke" on the page that's causing abandonment.

It could be so many things, as others have pointed out.

But let me share one resource that will let you find out for certain:

Heatmaps, Visitor Movies, Web Analytics | Customer Experience Analytics by ClickTale

Sign-up and you'll see two things:

1. The actual session recordings of every prospect reviewing your site. Mouse movement, clicks, scrolling, etc.

2. Heatmaps of where they are spending their time overall.

Basically, you'll be spying on your visitors consumption of your page. That will give you a big clue...

- Rick Duris

PS: On a personal note, my OPINION (not fact) is you might want to try a more personal approach. The top stock pickers are a personality and have a reputation. In other words, come out from behind the curtain or find someone who can if you aren't up for it.

To my mind, the design of the site is rather good and wellcoming. As it was already noticed, you have used the words "we" and "our" many times. And that's a problem. You should show the benefits for your readers, grab their attantion with what they will receive and how bad their lives will be without your product.
If you are interested in market psychology I can recommend you a perfect book: "Emotionally Hot Buttons". I don't remember the author, but suppose you'll find it easily, as its not just a book but a work of art.
Besides, visit www.safe-swaps.com and receive reliable partners for swaps and thus for perfect conversions.

Good Luck!

When it comes to stocks & investment, Clayton Makepeace takes the cup. From the promotions I’ve read about, it always boils down to three elements:

a)Credibility, credibility, credibility. Everyone can pick stocks. Only stars can pick winners. Show what you’ve did for others, who you are and why he should trust you.
b)Admit your mistakes. If you say that your stocks are always winners, you’ll get a lot of skepticism. But if you say that people who followed your advices through the last 24 months achieved a 61% increase in portfolio value, then you’ve hooked me.
c)Romance the hell out of stocks. It may seem weird at first, but your niche is not after numbers. Instead, they are after stories, opportunities, a way to get rich. Now, don’t get me wrong, this is not a stupid niche. But in the same time, you are targeting a certain segment of the market – the one which is just starting out or can’t afford for other stock picking solutions.
I hope this helps. I’ve already contacted you through your website on a few ways you could improve your conversion and I’m looking forward to hear from you soon.

Best regards,
Razvan Rogoz
CEO of Razvan Rogoz Marketing Solutions

On a side note it's interesting to see a thread resurrected exactly a year after the
original post. I thought I was seeing double with the date.

On topic: I think that the site is wasting the top part with the flash slide show.
This should be the place for your headline and not just a banner type ad.

And it's really distracting to read he text below while the flash 'movie'
is playing above. I would try a simpler design--more text heavy or
use an intro video.

-Ray Edwards

In Firefox, the layout is a huge tangled mess with headlines and text randomly heaped up on top of each other.

Just switched to IE and got the same result.

I can't even tell what the site says.

I do have ad and script blockers turned up high.

Chris

Searchnology, let’s have a talk on Skype or through email.
You know how to contact me.
At least what I can do is give you a swipe file of related mailings to a fellow warrior.
(The one from Makepeace)

Best regards,
Razvan