What am I missing? Direct Mail

14 replies
-Service We are Providing: Website Re-design (to businesses who currently have a website)

-Initial # test: Sending 100 white #10 envelopes to Lawyers (w/ handwritten address)

-Unique Selling Proposition (USP): We Guarantee to beat the amount of "conversions" you are receiving on your current website with our new re-design, or they will receive their money back if we can't create a design that will convert more of their already incoming traffic to their site.

-Cost for our services: $10,000+ (depending)

-Bonus to create response: Those who receive and read this sales letter, if they call by (specific date) they will receive a press release for their newly designed site, guaranteed to drive new visitors to their site.

So, in the past I have sent out letters and received 0 responses which is pretty freaking bad with direct mail (handwritten letters). So, I have added this USP + bonus in order for them to call and make a phone appointment in order for us to close them. I am hoping this newly made sales letter will create a better response.

So, what am I missing? What can I add that might create a better response?
#direct #mail #missing
  • Originally Posted by TakenAction View Post

    -Service We are Providing: Website Re-design (to businesses who currently have a website)

    -Initial # test: Sending 100 white #10 envelopes to Lawyers (w/ handwritten address)

    -Unique Selling Proposition (USP): We Guarantee to beat the amount of "conversions" you are receiving on your current website with our new re-design, or they will receive their money back if we can't create a design that will convert more of their already incoming traffic to their site.

    -Cost for our services: $10,000+ (depending)

    -Bonus to create response: Those who receive and read this sales letter, if they call by (specific date) they will receive a press release for their newly designed site, guaranteed to drive new visitors to their site.

    So, in the past I have sent out letters and received 0 responses which is pretty freaking bad with direct mail (handwritten letters). So, I have added this USP + bonus in order for them to call and make a phone appointment in order for us to close them. I am hoping this newly made sales letter will create a better response.

    So, what am I missing? What can I add that might create a better response?
    Do you include any proof that you have improved conversions for Lawyers, if so you MUST use this in your copy...

    "John Doe Lawyers Doubled Their Website Sales With Our Strategies"

    Your price of 10k + is high so you need to justify it, people will be reluctant... so you build me a website, I give you 10k + and if it doesn't improve my conversions you give me 10k + back!!! would you believe that?

    How about (if you don't have any proof of results or testimonials to use)...

    'We only work with one Lawyer in each city to ensure we deliver results, we have a slot in XXX [enter city name here] and its on a first-come, first-served basis. We are so confident you only pay half up front and you don't pay the balance until we have overdelivered on our promises."

    Maybe not exactly that but hopefully you get the gist!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9108603].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author TakenAction
      Originally Posted by Affiliate Expertise View Post

      Do you include any proof that you have improved conversions for Lawyers, if so you MUST use this in your copy...

      "John Doe Lawyers Doubled Their Website Sales With Our Strategies"

      Your price of 10k + is high so you need to justify it, people will be reluctant... so you build me a website, I give you 10k + and if it doesn't improve my conversions you give me 10k + back!!! would you believe that?

      How about (if you don't have any proof of results or testimonials to use)...

      'We only work with one Lawyer in each city to ensure we deliver results, we have a slot in XXX [enter city name here] and its on a first-come, first-served basis. We are so confident you only pay half up front and you don't pay the balance until we have overdelivered on our promises."

      Maybe not exactly that but hopefully you get the gist!
      Thanks for your reply! Very helpful! As for the price. It is not said in the letter but will be said when we get them on the phone appointment. As for the Guarantee, we do 50% before and 50% after. We currently have one testimonial on the letter. Also, I love the "we only work with one lawyer in each city" etc. I am going to add something along that!
      Signature

      The best thing you can do is put yourself out there.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9108813].message }}
      • Originally Posted by TakenAction View Post

        Thanks for your reply! Very helpful! As for the price. It is not said in the letter but will be said when we get them on the phone appointment. As for the Guarantee, we do 50% before and 50% after. We currently have one testimonial on the letter. Also, I love the "we only work with one lawyer in each city" etc. I am going to add something along that!
        Happy to help

        If you can get it working really well for one Lawyer (or have already) offering City exclusivity would give you MASSIVE leverage. I know of a company that offers marketing exclusivity by city to car dealers and they turn over tens of millions of dollars a year (maybe more now). The fear factor of NOT being the lawyer you work with in XXX city is a really powerful marketing hook!
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9108839].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author AmericanMuscleTA
    Get a better call-to-action.

    Direct the prospects to a website, or video of what you're doing. When prospects call the number you give does it go to a live person or is it a recording? If a recording, be sure to say that. Lots of people are afford to call because they don't want to be "sold."

    Get some testimonials on there!!

    Also, did you do any follow up? Send out more letters that bounce off the previous ones. Pick up the phone and call the prospects.

    If you just sent out one round of letters, you're doomed. FOLLOW UP, FOLLOW UP, FOLLOW UP!
    Signature

    David Hunter | Duke of Marketing
    www.DukeOfMarketing.com
    www.BibleAndFriends.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9108684].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author TakenAction
      Originally Posted by AmericanMuscleTA View Post

      Get a better call-to-action.

      Direct the prospects to a website, or video of what you're doing. When prospects call the number you give does it go to a live person or is it a recording? If a recording, be sure to say that. Lots of people are afford to call because they don't want to be "sold."

      Get some testimonials on there!!

      Also, did you do any follow up? Send out more letters that bounce off the previous ones. Pick up the phone and call the prospects.

      If you just sent out one round of letters, you're doomed. FOLLOW UP, FOLLOW UP, FOLLOW UP!
      The call to action will be a # for them to call which goes to a recording asking them to give the best times to set up a phone appointment for them. And we currently have one testimonial on there. As for the follow up I am working on a script and finding someone to call them back after the letters are sent. Any idea when we should call them after we send the letters?

      Thanks for your comments!
      Signature

      The best thing you can do is put yourself out there.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9108819].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author AmericanMuscleTA
        Originally Posted by TakenAction View Post

        The call to action will be a # for them to call which goes to a recording asking them to give the best times to set up a phone appointment for them. And we currently have one testimonial on there. As for the follow up I am working on a script and finding someone to call them back after the letters are sent. Any idea when we should call them after we send the letters?

        Thanks for your comments!
        I would also direct them to a squeeze page for a free report, book, website audit, etc.

        Rock on!
        Signature

        David Hunter | Duke of Marketing
        www.DukeOfMarketing.com
        www.BibleAndFriends.com

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9109155].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ThomasOMalley
    You need a sequence of carefully-crafted lead generation letters that you send to your targeted list.

    I highly recommend you read Bob Bly's book, Power-Packed Direct Mail, and Jeffrey Dobkin's book, How To Market A Product for Under $500.

    And definitely don't mention the price in the letters...much too soon in the selling process for an expensive service.

    Best regards,

    Thomas O'Malley
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9110230].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author OutOfThisWord
      TakA...

      ...put yourself in the place of the prospect.

      If they have a website, then they are getting spammed by the min. by just about everyone overseas, offering to make their site better.

      Then there's the Web Dev guys in your area, all thinking the same thing - "hey, lawyas have moolah - lets get us one."

      On top of that there are Wed Dev folks nationally, some with even experience in the legal arena, and they are all pounding your prospect with unwanted phone calls and more spam email scrapes.

      So why should they listen to you?

      To get leads you may want to offer a FREE critique and this allows anyone at the office to take you up on your offer.

      Often the admin. person will be charged with finding who the good vendors are and making recommendations to the main players.

      You aren't going to get a lawya on the phone otherwise. Hell, folks that hire them can't get them on the phone.

      And since you are in the Web Dev biz, why are you limiting yourself only to this one, over marketed niche?
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9111194].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
    Without reading the letter, can't really say much of value.

    The follow-up is also important - if you're not following up, you might as well be screaming into the void.

    Conventional marketing wisdom says it takes 5-7 impressions (or more) before people start recognizing/trusting your brand. Don't put everything into the first one without giving thought to the next 6 or more as well.

    Remember: it's building a relationship, not JUST landing a client. If you just land a client, you'll constantly be fishing for new biz. Building a relationship will keep your nets overflowing.
    Signature

    Aspiring copywriters: if you need 1:1 advice from an experienced copy chief, head over to my Phone a Friend page.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9112270].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
      You're not opening up with a problem
      that is glaringly obvious.

      Start with that then go into saying it's easily fixed,
      you've done it for others, mention 3 names
      then your call to action is that you've got 10 minutes next week to
      show how that problem can be easily fixed.

      That's the sequence and the limit of the first contact.

      3 paragraphs is all is needed.

      Best,
      Ewen
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9112457].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    I'm struggling to understand if you can solve this problem for lawyers, why you can't solve it for yourself? You're asking for $10K. You guarantee more new clients. And you can't do this for yourself?

    Something ain't right.

    The challenge you have is simple. It's not easy, but it's simple. You've got to generate leads. Don't even try to sell people on using your services until you're talking with them.

    The question is what can you offer that will get the phone to ring? Then, once you have them on the phone, you can work your sales magic.

    - Rick Duris
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9113217].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author TakenAction
      Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

      I'm struggling to understand if you can solve this problem for lawyers, why you can't solve it for yourself? You're asking for $10K. You guarantee more new clients. And you can't do this for yourself?

      Something ain't right.

      The challenge you have is simple. It's not easy, but it's simple. You've got to generate leads. Don't even try to sell people on using your services until you're talking with them.

      The question is what can you offer that will get the phone to ring? Then, once you have them on the phone, you can work your sales magic.

      - Rick Duris
      The guarantee is better explained in the letter my apology. We are creating a re-design for them that will convert more of their already incoming traffic to their current website.

      So the point is to go after industries that make a lot of $$ per sale (such as lawyers) because if they con convert more of visitors then that = big bucks for them.

      Although, we are re-thinking going after lawyers.
      Signature

      The best thing you can do is put yourself out there.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9113228].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
        Originally Posted by TakenAction View Post

        The guarantee is better explained in the letter my apology. We are creating a re-design for them that will convert more of their already incoming traffic to their current website.

        So the point is to go after industries that make a lot of $$ per sale (such as lawyers) because if they con convert more of visitors then that = big bucks for them.

        Although, we are re-thinking going after lawyers.
        You're not getting it. You shouldn't have a sales letter in the first place.

        Trying to sell a $10K website re-design via a DM sales letter to people who never heard of you before is a waste of time.

        Again, the job before you is to get the phone to ring.

        ----

        Let me give you an example.

        There's a firm around here that does SEO and social media for local companies. How do they get clients?

        They put on little half-day seminars that teach people how do SEO themselves. Free.

        So people call to register. Then people come. Then the firm follows up with them afterwards.

        At this point, they're known. They don't need a sales letter. They don't even need to sell that much because the prospect has already been educated. There's trust established.

        All the prospect really wants to know is how much is this is gonna cost and what are the payment terms.

        -----

        What you're missing is a strategy. A way of taking a cold name and converting it to a lead. A lead to a suspect. A suspect to a prospect. A prospect to a qualified prospect. And finally, a qualified prospect to a Client.

        You don't need a sales letter. You need a system.

        - Rick Duris
        Signature
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9114251].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Raydal
        Originally Posted by TakenAction View Post

        So the point is to go after industries that make a lot of $$ per sale (such as lawyers) because if they con convert more of visitors then that = big bucks for them.
        I don't know if that was an intended pun or not, but I still found it funny.

        -Ray Edwards
        Signature
        The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9114383].message }}

Trending Topics