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First Draft Sales Copy Notes? Car Buyers Insiders Guide

by screwaverage
2 replies
My first sales copy for my car buyers insiders guide.

I am looking for the flaws in my first draft.

Check it out landing page 1 — Car Buyers Insiders Guide
#buyers #car #copy #draft #guide #insiders #notes #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Some of the text is very light and takes extra effort to read.

    Also, people are reluctant to read big globs of text.

    Also, white text on a black background is a proven response depressant.

    And that's just the graphics.

    Alex
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    • Profile picture of the author splitTest
      A subject like this lends itself to more "tease" in the bullets...

      e.g.
      • The one thing to ask before your salesman even begins his pitch -- and the one answer you should run away from every time...
      • The three major options you should always insist on getting for free...
      • How buying last year's model can actually cost you more in the long run than the current year's model...

      ... Of course, these are just contrived, but you get what I'm saying. This "insider's secrets" stuff lends itself to teaser bullets, but yours are just straight-forward (and awfully generic) benefits.

      ...Also -- who is this "car salesman." What are his credentials? Why should buyers listen to you? Gotta get more granular.

      ...Plus -- what Alex said about big blocks of copy and white (or gray!) on a black background.

      There's my 2 cents...
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